//------------------------------// // Dodge This!(OLD VERSION) // Story: Rodger Dodger // by Randomizer77 //------------------------------// It was a lovely day outside, the sun shining high in the nearly clear sky, bird songs floating on the faint breeze, and ponies cheerfully milling about their lives. It was no surprise that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were coming up with inevitably chaotic ways to earn their cutie marks, but a new member was out on a different task... "Why did I even think of doing this?", Rumble thought to himself as he tripped on yet another tree root. "There isn't anything interesting out here in the woods." During his most recent meeting with the Crusaders, a certain optimistic colt decided to go exploring in the Whitetail Woods, hoping to snap some pictures of animals. Instead, all he got was dissapointment, frustration, and an empty roll of film. "Even Pinkie Pie would have taken more pictures of animals than I did, and she almost always scares them away!" He angrily shouted to no one in particular, kicking a rock as he did so. The adorable pegasus was startled by a sudden thunk! At first he was excited; he had finally come across something! His excitement quickly turned to dissapointment, however, as the sound turned out to have come from the rock he had just kicked landing next to the wall of an old shed. Boring! Rumble sighed dejectedly. "Maybe I should just go home..." He turned to leave and go back home, however, something caught his attention. Something shiny and large. Rumble didn't usually do this. He respected the privacy of other ponies(other than the time he went through his brothers flight related belongings in an attempt to learn, luckily, Thunderlane stopped him before Rumble inadvertently stumbled across his collection of Wingboner Magazine) But more so, he didn't want a repeat of the event just mentioned. Yet, something continued to tug at him. It was like whatever was in there WANTED him to look inside. "Don't do it!", one side of his conscience said. "It's most likely somepony else's private property! You know what they say, 'curiosity killed the cat!'" "And satisfaction brought him back.", the other side of his mind argued. "Whatever it is, it could be the perfect picture! Go check it out!" Throwing all caution to the wind, Rumble trotted over to the front of the shed. The front was sealed by a single large retracting door. He undid the lock, and pulled the door open...and quickly bolted for cover in a bush, waiting for whatever it was to start chasing him. Nothing happened. Curious, Rumble cautiously peered out of the lush greenery and was surprised to see that whatever it was hadn't moved an inch, instead, it remained silent in the nook provided by the small building. The young pegasus wearily stepped closer to the unmoving thing, concerned that it might be waiting for him to get close before attacking. Wearily, he stuck a hoof in front of it. Nothing. He tried waving said hoof. Still nothing. With lightning speed, he dashed across its front and stopped at the other side of the shed. No response. Rumble sighed with relief, whatever this thing was, it was inanimate. The grey colt decided to get a closer look at the machine. It was green, and large, from his point of view, at least. It rode on black and chrome wheels with cryptic writing on the sides of them. "'BFGoodrich Radial T/A'...so that's what these things are." he thought. The wheels themselves were finished in chrome, with the attractive shine dulled by the copious amounts of dust they had gathered from not having been washed for Celestia knows how long. A small black spoiler resided on the back, as did two dull chrome pipes. A small badge read "340 Demon", and was complete with a cartoon devil. Rumble couldn't help but giggle at this; it did look a little out of place on something that looked so fast. Circling back around to the front, he became aware of a small latch that resided underneath the front bumper. Pulling it the small pegasus was dissapointed when nothing happened. "But what does it connect to?" He thought. He experimentally tried pulling on the large metal sheet that lay above it. With some resistance and quite a bit of noise, it lifted up to reveal the coolest thing Rumble had seen so far, second to the car itself. It was a large, orange colored chunk of metal that was nestled in the large space under the metal sheet. Dozens of hoses and wires snaked in and out of the large block, which was topped by a thick black disc with indecipherable writing on top of it. "I wonder what all of these things do." he thought. Pushing the hood back down, the grey pegasus trotted over to the large door on the left of the vehicle. There was a simple button and a small handle. Depressing the button, Rumble opened the door with ease, even though it did creak rather loudly. Inside was amazing; two black seats flanked a tall lever up front, while a single large bench-like seat sat behind them. Three seatbelts spanned the length of the back seat, while a single belt sat by each front seat. A large panel covered with buttons and dials sat in front of the lever, which upon closer inspection, had numbers printed on it: R 1 3 |__|___| 2 4 "Interesting." Rumble thought. A single large wheel jutted in front of the closer front seat, and a cluster of gauges resided just behind the wheel. Underneath both and in front of the seat were three pedals, each having a large block of wood tied on. The seat had a large stack of pillows strapped on, tall enough for him to see over the large wheel, a small packet of papers resting on top of the pillows. It read "1971 Dodge Demon 340 Owner's Manual". Opening it, Rumble was greeted with worn, but still legible, writing that detailed the car's various components as well as the factory specifications. Rumble began to grow excited, he could already picture himself racing along the town roads in this low slung hot rod. Following the instructions, he placed the key into a small slot located on the large column that supported the steering wheel. Then, with even more noise than the door, it started. It was quite loud, no surprise since it was made in 1971, when cars tended to be quite noisy because they lacked effective silencers. But Rumble's excitement continued to grow. He could now see all the possibilities... The old Dodge sat, perfectly restored, in a sea of white. Sun glinted off of the trunk as it exited the pit area of a racetrack in Spain. It joined a pack of similar cars, all of them lightweight and equipped with small-block V8s. The track changed to the legendary Nürburgring in Germany. With a howl from the engine, a second Demon raced by, lowered and decked out with decals, spoilers, and a wild paint job. The scene changed to dusk, with the Demon now wearing a fiberglass bodyshell and a large wing. The sound of squealing rubber filled the air as it now drifted through a sharp corner in Spain, the sun highlighting the breathtaking view. It was again racing among a pack of purpose-built race cats, engine spinning rapidly towards its redline. Lastly, it rolled up to a set of lights, now lowered and sporting a blower protruding from the hood and a pair of huge rear slicks. With a mighty rev of the engine, it catapulted forward, with the extreme forces lifting the front of the car off of the road...... "Thunderlane is gonna be SO psyched!" he exclaimed excitedly before punching the throttle and racing off towards home. For additional effect, play Black Betty by Spiderbait Rumble's heart raced with anticipation as he safely brought the car to a stop near the town's outskirts, the motor settling back into an easygoing idle. With the push of a few buttons, music began to play. It was exciting, while not high-energy, it filled those listening with anxiety, eagerly waiting for the real stuff to start. Shifting into first, he gently urged the car forward as the lyrics began. It took all of his might to not punch the throttle, instead he entered a steady cruise. Shortly after, though, he opened all four of the carb's barrels, and was pushed into his seat as the car surged forward, quickly gaining speed. After successfully drifting around a tree, he immediately went into a 360, the extensively tuned motor easily overpowering the rear tires. Rumble raced into town, oblivious to the uproar he was causing. Time slowed as he threw the Dodge into a sharp right, pushing the car's limits as the tires squealed in protest. Opening the throttle completely again, Rumble slalomed through the various stands in the town square. Time slowed again as he did multiple doughnuts around one stand in a near-flawless imitation of Ken Block. Adrenaline raced through his veins as the Demon eagerly countinued to dart through perilously narrow gaps between stands and terrified ponies. Coming to a stop, he proceeded to stick a small hoof out the window as he laid down a long burnout, leaving the market with a souvenir on the back of his new toy, a rectangular metal plate that read "CRAZY 8" Finding his way under his home, he honked the horn a couple of times and shouted, "Hey Thunderlane! Check out what I found!"