Hi Pinkie Pie. I know you're there, you can hear me, can break the 4th wall and can talk to me.
"Oh, hello Mr. Author. Come to put stupid words in my mouth again? Hey, I'm usually at the end of a scene. What gives? Untitled 1?"
Oh, hold on a sec.
...
There you go.
"’ A conversation with Pinkie’? Okay. So... what do you want to talk about?"
Well, I want to apologize for not giving you as good a characterization in my stories as you deserve. I will not lie, you're not my favourite character but I do like you, and I want to make you look good. I want Pinkie to be a fun read. My problem is that I find it so hard to picture you in my head and imagine how you would react. I find it easier with the others and you suffer for it.
"That's okay writer man. You haven't written anything bad, as such, and you can't properly characterize all six of us, plus side characters, plus Alex. That’s as crazy as using oatmeal as hair jell. And trust me on this, it just doesn’t work. Doesn’t matter how much you use."
So, can you help me out? I mean, I promise to avoid the 4th wall if you can maybe help me out. I'll be stopping the 4th wall stuff anyway. It was funny the first time, weird the second, and don't want to go there again. Yes, you play with the 4th wall, but it's not the only thing about your character.
While you have a silly side, you also seem a lot smarter than the p... ponies around you...
"You were going to say 'people', right? I appreciate the effort."
Heh, yes I was. I wish I could see you so I could describe your physical reactions. I like doing that. But, I'll settle for you being a voice in my head for right now.
"Are you sure you want to publish this? I mean, people might think you're crazy..."
Um, Pinkie Pie? I'm a happily married grown man with two kids, one of whom is old enough to go to high school next year. I'll take my chances.
"Hehehe, you're too old to be a fan!"
Yes, I know. It's just that, My Little Pony really appeals to me. It's cute without being saccharin, the animation is lovely, and the characters have depth. Heck, they have more depth than a lot of 'adult' programs. And by 'adult' I don't mean porn, I mean cop shows, medical dramas, soap operas, that kind of stuff.
Anyway, back to you. When I'm writing, I must channel you. I must have Pinkie in my brain.
...
Ugh. I just can't do it. I find it hard to imagine you being anything other than a silly 4th wall breaking joke. I know you can be more, much more. Here, do you mind if we try something?
"Sure! I'll be glad to help."
Tell me about a typical day at Sugar Cube Corners.
"Sure, when I get up at 6 am, I get cleaned up, tidy my room, then go downstairs. I have breakfast with Mr and Mrs Cake and their kids. They're basically my surrogate mom and dad, and I love them very much. And their kids are just amazing. Then I check the order book to see what needs to be done for the day, and organize the orders based on when they need to be done and how hard they are to make."
"I then spend most of the day baking and making treats. Some times I'll go with Mr Cake to buy supplies, but usually I just stay there."
"At the end of the baking day, usually about three or four in the afternoon, I clean and reorganize the kitchen. After that, I start working on planning any upcoming parties and build party cannon loads. I invented that, you know? There are a few party planners wanting to buy them, but do they think I'm crazy? Give up something that lets you decorate a room in seconds? I'm not stupid. I mean, when I'm an Equestria famous pony who plans parties this will let me setup parties like crazy! I..."
Okay Pinkie! I get it. I also admire your technical brilliance. That party cannon is amazing. One thing I kind of wondered about was the flying machine you used. Did you build them or just buy them? If you bought them, where did you get the bits?
“Thanks! I’ve been working on the Party Cannon[tm] since I got my cutie mark. It’s my pride and joy. As for flying machines, Twilight had plans in the library. Anypony can build one, but few do. I just thought it would be fun to have, never know when I need to get to a pegasus party.”
“I also watch the twins once or twice a week. I’m much better at organizing the afternoon or evening with them. It’s not like the first time. I don’t think I could ever do that again.”
You know what Pinkie, I think I have a better handle on what makes you, you. And now, I'm looking forward to the next Pinkie-focused episode.
Thank you Pinkie.
I also want to make you a promise. I will try to write you as an intelligent pony who happens to like laughter. I will write you as kind, warm, and loving. I will not write you as a 4th wall breaking ninny just for a cheap gag.
“I want to thank you too, for that bit of romance you recently threw in. I know it was just filler to match to mood, but I appreciate it anyway. I’m not usually the one you think of when you think of affairs of the heart, but I’m glad you thought even a Pinkie Pie deserved a little romance.
Pinkie, I would give you a hug, but from here, you're still imaginary.
"That's okay, you're imaginary to me too."
...
"By the way, I like the book cover image."