"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." ~ Author Unknown
Rainbow Dash awoke with a sleepy yawn, stretching underneath the soft blanket over-top of her. Looking around the room, she found herself smiling. She didn’t really know why but it felt safer here then at her own home. Maybe it was something about the quietness of the library, or maybe the homey atmosphere had finally started to suck her in. Her cloud home felt somewhat sterile compared to Twilight’s house. Rainbow slowly blinked to get the sleep out of her eyes, and finally jumped out of the warm bed, landing with soft plop onto the floor. As she looked around the room, she began to look at all the trophies that Twilight kept on display. They were nestled inside of a large wooden bookcase that stretched from floor to ceiling, each shelf had trophies spread evenly apart in alphabetical order.
First place in the Canterlot spelling bee, first place in the young unicorn’s competition… Even first place in the Archmage’s Tournament. That’s amazing!.
“Being nosy are we?” Twilight asked with a smile while sticking her head in the hardly used spare room.
“Twi!” Rainbow yelled. The surprise from her friend caused her to jump into the air. Dust flew off the cabinet and filled the room with a musty smell. “I-I-I didn’t mean to,” Rainbow stammered, waving her hooves in front of her face in panic. “I swear I just looked for a little bit.”
“Relax, silly,” Twilight said, letting out a playful chuckle. “I don’t mind you looking at my awards, Rainbow. Half the time I forget they're even in here. Usually, I don't go in this room, it's more of a place to throw all the stuff I don't need. I wanted to see if you wanted some pancakes for breakfast.”
A rumble emanated from Rainbow’s belly. She was extremely hungry. Not eating since yesterday will do that to a pony.
“I'll take that as a yes," Twilight said with a laugh. "Everything will be ready for you when get downstairs. Feel free to use the shower if you want.”
“Thanks, Twi.” The purple mare trotted out of the room, and Rainbow walked into the shower. She turned the tap on with a hoof and let the warm water run down her mane. It was extremely calming. Each drop that landed on her fur seemed to wash away the pain of the night before.
So where do I go from here? I mean, now Twilight knows about me, and the only other ponies that know about me are Fluttershy and Applejack. I guess I just need some time to think. Rainbow rubbed her temple with a hoof. Like I am so good at thinking…
“Hey, Rainbow,” Twilight yelled from downstairs, her voice muffled from the water splashing on Rainbow’s ears. Rainbow felt her stomach rumble again, the zen moment of the shower had made her completely forget about her hunger. A loud popping noise emanated from outside the shower. “Did you want anything else with the pancakes?" Twilight’s voice now perfectly clear.
“Sweet Celestia!” Rainbow shouted in shock. Her hooves slipped on the wet flooring below, sending her falling towards the hard tile below. Each beat of her terrified heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. “Damn it Twi, you scared the hell out of me! After all that talk about scaring ponies, you could take some of your own advice.”
“So did you want anything else with breakfast?” Twilight asked, as if nothing had happened.
“Uh… No…” Rainbow said, picking herself up off of the wet floor.
Seriously though? That is a little creepy there Twi… Just popping here like that...
“I’m in the shower here, Twi. You’re invading my privacy a little bit.”
“Oh, right, sorry,” Twilight said. “I am not used to having guests overnight so you’ll have to forgive me.” With another loud magical pop, the unicorn had teleported out of the room, back into the kitchen below.
Anyway… What am I going to do? I guess I could talk to Fluttershy about it… Yeah that sounds like a good idea.
With that, Rainbow had made up her mind, and walked out of the shower. A couple of brushes of her mane, a quick shake to get all the water off of her fur, and she was ready for breakfast. Rainbow took in the sights of Twilight’s home while walking through the halls, as she headed downstairs to the kitchen where breakfast awaited. Pictures of all of her friends scattered the walls from floor to ceiling, most of them from the first couple of years they were together. Rainbow couldn't help but stop at the last picture in the hallway, her gaze stopping on one picture in particular. At the very end of the hall, laying inside of a charcoal coloured frame, was a photo of Rainbow and Twilight, lying side by side in the grass, both of the mares were laughing with a giant goofy grin across both of their faces. Rainbow remembered that day as clear as a bell, it had been the day she had discovered her love for reading. It wasn't too often she found something that she enjoyed as much as flying, and it had been Twilight that showed her to that new world. As she gazed into the photograph Rainbow couldn't help but feel sense of joy wash over her.
We really have gotten close over the years haven’t we? Ever since that day at the hospital, we have been spending a fair bit of time together. Maybe… Rainbow shook her head.
Rainbow walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, the smell of the fresh pancakes filled the air. Stray trails of drool started to make their way down the Rainbow's muzzle, the intoxicating smell of the pancakes calling out her name. She pulled one of the black chairs from the large table and patiently waited for the food to come to the table. It only took a couple of seconds for Twilight to come in with a stack of pancakes piled ten high. A large wicker basket of pristine, fresh blackberries magically floated in behind her. Her belly rumbled once more with anticipation, as a huge smile started to make it's way across Rainbow's face.
That looks so good! Pancakes, and even blackberries as well!
“Don’t worry, that is all for you,” the unicorn said magically levitating the food onto the table. “I figured that you would be hungry, so I made a fair bit of things that I thought you would like.”
“Thanks Twi,” Rainbow said while eagerly pulling a hoofful of berries from the basket. “Are you going to have anything?”
“Oh!” Twilight exclaimed. “I forgot about that.” Twilight’s horn began to erupt with a bright lavender glow, and the magic started to shape itself at the empty spot on the table. With each second that passed the aura began to morph in shape, twisting and moulding with startling speed. Rainbow sat in her seat, her mouth wide open as a full breakfast materialized on the table in front of her. A fresh glass of orange juice, along with a fresh daisy sandwich materialized before her eyes.
“Simple food conjuration spell,” Twilight explained letting out a small laugh at her friend’s facial expression. “It's really no big deal, just something that I have been working on for the past couple of days. Although it takes a fair bit of energy in order to make a simple meal like this.” Twilight said as she let out an exhausted sigh. “Hopefully it tastes good… Last time I tried it, nothing really tasted right. Not really sure how that happened. Maybe some magical interference..." Twilight said tapping a hoof to her chin. "Or maybe some crossed streams of energy..."
“It doesn't taste bad,” Rainbow said while messily shoving another hoofful of berries into her mouth. “In fact it is amazing. These berries taste like they were picked yesterday. I’d have never have guessed that they were made with magic. Well done!” Rainbow said while raising a hoof in air.
“Thanks!” With the basket of berries gone, Dash decided to move onto the pile of pancakes, the large tower of delicious cakes easily larger than her head. Small strands of syrup dripped down the side of the impressive tower. The pancakes were good, but there was a mild after-taste of the berries from before. The natural flavour of the fruity aftertaste provided a nice contrast from the sugary syrup that coated the mountain of food. “So…” Twilight asked while tapping a hoof to the table. “If you don't mind me asking. What are you going to do about… You know…”
Rainbow let out a sigh, her ears flattened to her head. The truth was that she really didn't want to face the problem at all, but deep down she knew that it would just get worse if she continued to put off. “I don’t really know. Probably going to talk to Fluttershy and tell her what happened. She will probably help me out, and then I was thinking that I would come back and catch up on some reading if you don’t mind?”
“Mind? Not at all, Rainbow,” said Twilight as she clapped her fore-hooves together. “Just give me a little time to get prepared.” The eagerness of her friend caught Rainbow off guard.
“Alrighty then… I guess I’ll get going. Fluttershy is usually busy later in the day, and I wouldn’t want to miss her before she leaves to take care of the animals in the forest.”
“Sounds good,” Twilight said, taking a bite of her sandwich. “I’ll be here all day so feel free to stop in after two or so, by then I should have everything taken care of.”
After Rainbow finished off the blackberry after-taste pancakes, she took off and flew out an open window in the library’s main room.
What in the hay was that all about? Twilight is usually happy about our reading sessions but that was a little weird.
The flight over to Fluttershy’s cottage was fairly uneventful. Usually there was something going on in the town square, but today it looked like the whole entire town had taken the day off. Not a single pony walked through the streets, and all the stores seemed to be empty as she flew past. Rainbow softly landed at the front of the small cottage, and knocked on the door with hoof.
“Hey, Fluttershy!” Rainbow yelled. “You home?”
“Oh Rainbow,” Fluttershy quietly said, opening the door. “I haven’t seen you in while. If you don’t mind me asking, how are you doing?”
“Well,” Rainbow said rolling her eyes. “I really don’t know, to be honest. Mind if I come in?”
“Oh no, not all. I was just feeding Angel his carrot salad. Come on in.” With that, the two mares walked into the cottage. It was more disorganized than usual. Some of the plants had been thrown from the tables by the small woodland creatures walking around the house. In the corner of the room, laid Discord in a chalk white hammock that was impossibly floating in the air, the ends not attached to anything. A barking pearl white teapot floated over the dragonquis’s head as it poured tea into thin air, the liquid taking the shape of glass in the palm of Discord's claw.
“Oh hello, Rainbow,” Discord said with a conniving grin. “To what do we owe the great pleasure? Has the Everfree Forest start to run amok again? Oh oh don’t tell me. Chyssi is back and wants revenge… Oh oh or maybe Sombra has joined up Trixie, and we will all perish in a battle of terrible magic, and overly complicated staircases. Oh the humanity!”
“Can it, Discord,” Rainbow spat, the deep seated anger clear in her voice. “I am here to talk to Fluttershy... In private.”
“Oh is that all? Fine I can leave you two alone for a bit.” With a snap of his lion’s paw, Discord vanished into thin air, teleporting out of the room in a cloud of red smoke.
“So Flutter-”
“Shush,” the canary yellow pegasus said pressing a hoof to Rainbow’s mouth. Fluttershy quickly looked around the room staring at every small corner of the cottage, as if she was looking for something odd to have magically appeared in the room. Eventually she set her eyes on a small blue pen the laying peacefully on top of a small table. With a poke from one her wings, the pen wiggled back and forth on the table, a small chuckle emanated from the inanimate object as Fluttershy pulled her wing back to her side . “Discord!” the yellow pegasus stared at the pen with serious intent, her eyes not straying from the pen. “Rainbow said in private, so could you please leave us alone for a little bit, if you would be so kind?”
“Fine, Fluttershy,” Discord’s voice echoed from the pen. “For you, I will go.” A pair of bright yellow eyes materialized above the pen, slowly hovering in place. “At least some ponies ask nicely,” Discord's voice echoed from the pen, his eyes fixated on Rainbow. With another pop, and another cloud of smoke, the pen vanished into thin air.
Fluttershy let out a sigh. “You could be a little nicer to him Rainbow. He really does mean to do his best, but sometimes it’s a little too much to have him around all the time. I wish I had enough courage to ask him to stop every once in a while, but you shouldn’t try to stop someone from doing what they are good at.” The yellow mare’s head snapped back over to Rainbow, who was standing impatiently tapping a hoof on the wooden floor, her tail twitched back and forth. “Oh I'm so sorry, Rainbow. Feel free to take a seat,” Fluttershy said as she pointed a hoof over to the dark green couch in the middle of the room. “Did you want anything to drink? I have some wonderful herbal tea from the forest. I just made it so it should still be warm.”
“Yeah, that sounds great,” Rainbow said, while taking a seat on the soft couch. The furniture had a weird smell to it, probably a combination from all the animals that typically ran throughout the small cottage.
“So what did you want to talk about?” Fluttershy asked, placing a fresh cup of tea on the table in front of the two of them. Rainbow took a deep breath, and the smell of the tea filled her nose. It had a surprisingly interesting smell to it, not too strong but pleasantly potent.
“You remember when I talked to you about being a fillyfooler right?”
“Of course Rainbow,” the yellow mare replied while taking a sip of her tea. “It was so saddening to see you that day. You looked like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders, and all of that burden seemed to leave once you told me. Why do you ask?”
“Well...” Rainbow said, rubbing her head with a hoof.
Damn I thought this would have been easier with Fluttershy, but it is still hard to talk about it. I wonder why I didn’t have this much trouble with Twi…
“Something happened a couple of days ago, Flutters...”
“Oh? Nothing terrible I hope.”
Rainbow could see the words in her head, but no matter how hard she tried, her brain would not let them to leave her mouth. To her, it felt a little weird talking to Fluttershy about it after all this time.
Come on, brain… It isn’t that hard, just some words and we’re done here… Just say them!
“Was it bad, Rainbow?” Fluttershy asked. All Rainbow could do was nod her head, the words still refusing to come from her lips.
“And does it have something to do with what you being a fillyfooler?” Fluttershy asked as she tried to coax the words from Rainbow, taking careful steps to make sure that she didn't push her friend away, or startle herself in the process. Another nod came from the rainbow maned pegasus. “If you don't mind me asking, did you find somepony to be with?”
“K-K-Kind of…”
“Kind of? What does that mean?” Fluttershy asked, confused.
“Well…” Rainbow said relieved, as she finally managed to get the words out. “This other mare and I had been going out for a couple of months. At first I thought it was great. We had a great time going to movies, and spending time with each other. It was nice to finally have someone close that accepted me, and I never had to hide the real me from her. It felt so liberating…”
“Well it does sound like it was good.”
“Yeah it was… Keyword there being was,” Rainbow said, making air quotes in the air with her hooves.
“Was? What do you mean was?”
"We broke up last night… But at least it wasn't all bad,” Rainbow said. She had to admit that she did have some good times with Applejack. All of the family meals that they had made Rainbow truly feel like one of their family. Rainbow hadn't really been close to her family ever since she had ran away from home, and it felt amazing to have that connection back in her life. All that time away from her family had made her forget what it was like to have a supporting network behind her, and Applejack had given her a new family when she had needed one. “The months I had with Applejack were actually pretty good.” Rainbow quickly put her hoofs up to her muzzle once she had realized what she had said. The secret was out…
“Wait, it was Applejack?” Fluttershy questioned.
“Well, we had a big fight… And some stuff was said…” Rainbow said, tears starting to roll down her face. “It turns out that the mare who I thought was the mare of my dreams, didn’t even care for me at all. Not a single feeling at all... She had strung me along in relationship for four months! Just as some terrible excuse to cheer me up after she rejected me.”
Something in the timid pegasus seemed to snap at the mere mention of those words, her shy demeanor shoved away as anger filled Fluttershy’s thoughts. “What!” the timid mare shouted. “How dare she!”
“Flutters you’re starting to scare me a little bit.” Rainbow said, with a look of shock making it’s way across her face. The last time she saw Fluttershy like this, things didn’t turn out well. Nopony wanted to see ‘new’ Fluttershy come back. Even the thought of it sent a shiver up Rainbow’s spine.
“But Rainbow, you don’t deserve something like that to happen to you! Nopony deserves something like that to that to happen to them. Something so cruel, stringing somepony along like that, and not even taking the time to consider your feelings. And to think that Applejack would do something to like that.”
Rainbow let out an exhausted sigh. “I thought that two of us would be together for a while, but apparently I was wrong. It was stupid to think like that… Like somepony would want to be with me…” A surge of depression started to wash over Rainbow. Her mind clouded with doubt, as she began to curl up into ball, tucking her muzzle deep into her hooves. Bringing up the rejection brought everything back up to the surface, the emotional pain felt like it had torn a piece of herself way.
Why would somepony want to be with me?
“R-R-Rainbow...” Fluttershy said, putting a hoof on her friend’s shoulders, her voice truly sincere. Tears started to form on Fluttershy’s eyes as well. All her life, Rainbow was somepony that she could look up to, never to back down from anything, no matter how difficult it was. Rainbow always stood strong, but this… Seeing the pinnacle of courage that she had grown to know, breaking down in front of her, brought a new view of the cyan mare to Fluttershy’s eyes. Underneath all of the brash exterior was somepony that just wanted to have someone close to her, just like everypony else. For Fluttershy it always brought back images of that terrible night that Rainbow had asked to live with her after running away from home. All alone, completely broken in every sense of the word, just looking for someone to accept her. That night they had spent all day talking, just taking time to sort through all of the pain. "I know it hurts Rainbow, but I know you can get through it. You have been through much worse than this and made it through. Trust me when I say there are ponies that want to be with you. You’ll just need to find the right one."
“Y-Y-Yeah I know,” Rainbow said, her voice muffled from the hoof pressed tight against her muzzle. “It just feels weird…. Like something is missing… You know? I was never one for this lovey-dovey stuff, but when I looked around town, I begin to realize all of the things that I am missing by not having somepony special. All of those moments that other ponies will cherish for the rest of their lives, just because they got to share it with the ones they hold close to their heart. I had that Flutters, and now its gone.” No matter how hard she tried Rainbow started to cry, the pent up emotions finally starting to make their way to the surface.
Her heart felt like it had been shattered beyond recognition, each piece a small shard of the whole. All she wanted was for somepony to care for her, somepony that she cared for, somepony to help her with all the hardships that life could throw at her. She had put up this strong independent façade in front of her friends, and it was starting to crack under all of the sadness and turmoil that shrouded her mind.
“Rainbow, don’t say things like that. You are truly wonderful, and now you’re beating yourself up over something you couldn’t have stopped even if you tried.” Fluttershy reached over and pulled Rainbow’s muzzle from in between her quivering hooves. She could see the sadness deep in Rainbow’s eyes, only a little hope behind all of the pain and tears. “Listen to me, Rainbow, when I say you are one of the most courageous ponies I know. Think about it… The Young Flyers competition, Discord, and Nightmare Moon. None of that was enough to scare you like this. You will get through, I promise you that.”
With those words, Rainbow could feel herself start to feel normal once again. No matter how much she tried to deny it, Fluttershy was right. She had been through so much worse than this and had made it through just fine, and with those thoughts the pain didn't seem to hurt as much. All of the those times, she was strong, never backing down from the hardships that she faced, and now she had to be strong again. The sorrow started to roar in her mind once more, it trying to bring her down with it’s poisonous touch, but it quickly was stifled under a newfound confidence in herself.
“Thanks Fluttershy,” Rainbow said as she uncurled herself from the defensive ball that she had tucked herself in. “You’re right. I have been through more than this haven’t I.”
“Don’t worry so much Rainbow, everything will work itself out in the end. You'll just have to give it some time.” Fluttershy said.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Rainbow said, wiping a stray tear from her eye. “So what do I do now?”
“Well… I don’t really know Rainbow. It probably would be a good idea to take things a little bit slower from here. I know that you probably don’t want to but-”
“No, you’re right,” Rainbow interrupted. “I am supposed to go over to Twilight’s to catch up on some reading anyway. So I will just go from there and see how the day carries out.” Fluttershy nodded her head in acceptance. Both of the mares hopped off of the odd smelling couch and made their way for the door. “Maybe I will ask Twi if I can spend a couple nights at her place.” Rainbow Dash let out a sigh, her ears flattened against her head.“I just don’t want to be alone right now.”
“I know, Rainbow,” Fluttershy said, as she pulled Rainbow for a hug.
“Thanks again,” Rainbow said. With those words she turned to the door and took off into the sky, leaving a perfect rainbow contrail behind her.
“You can come out now,” Fluttershy said with a smile across her face. With a loud pop, Discord materialized behind her, a bowl of popcorn cradled in his arm. “You know it is rude to eavesdrop like that.”
“Sorry Fluttershy, I couldn’t help myself,” Discord said, tossing a clawful of popcorn into his mouth. “At least somepony will be happy about this whole situation.” Now it was Fluttershy’s turn to be confused. What was Discord talking about?
“Huh?” Fluttershy said as she looked up at the draconequus. A conniving grin was blazoned on his face, and that made Fluttershy worry. A look like that, especially on the god of disharmony was never a good thing. “What does that mean?”
“Oh nothing my little Fluttershy… Nothing at all...”