Dr. Horrible lifted a gloved hand, pointing down at the small black box. “You… W-why?”
“Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.” Captain Hammer pushed the box forward. The villain twitched back, as though the box were venom.
“Why do you have that?” Dr. Horrible’s voice was quiet, his voice shaking slightly.
“Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.”
“Why do you have that?!”
“Dr. Horrible must return to the Evi--”
“SHUT UP!”
Captain Hammer went silent. His hand stayed where it was, the box laying on his open palm. Dr. Horrible snatched the box, holding it firmly with both hands. Captain Hammer didn’t move.
The villain turned the box over and over, looking for some flaw, some imperfection, anything that proved that it was a forgery. Nothing. It was perfect. It was his. “Why the hell do you have this?”
Captain Hammer stayed silent.
Twilight Sparkle blinked, her eyes bouncing back and forth between the two humans. “Dr. Horrible,” she began, “what’s happening?”
But Dr. Horrible ignored her, rounding instead on Captain Hammer. “Why are you here?”
Captain Hammer stayed silent.
“Where did you find this?” Dr. Horrible brandished the box.
No response.
The villain’s hand lashed out, savagely striking Captain Hammer. “ANSWER ME!”
Applejack, Twilight, and Rainbow twitched forward slightly, making to restrain Dr. Horrible. But the blow had come too quickly for them to do anything. A small crowd had been steadily forming around the scene, ponies craning their necks around each other to get a better view.
A steady stream of blood dribbled from a gash in Captain Hammer’s top lip. He didn’t move to wipe it away. “Dr. Horrible must return to the Evil League of Evil.”
Dr. Horrible scowled, rubbing at his face with his gloved hands. “The League. Why do you care about the League?!”
“I live for the League.”
A chill spread across the villain’s back, climbing quickly up his neck and into his face. “You what?”
“I live for the League,” said Captain Hammer.
Dr. Horrible paused, his hands resting on his face, his eyes slightly unfocused as he gazed at Captain Hammer. “Repeat that.”
“I live for the League.”
“Stand.”
Captain Hammer stood.
“... Spin.”
The hero spun in a tight circle, turning again and again.
“Stop.”
Captain Hammer stopped.
Dr. Horrible stepped forward, his hand reaching into his pocket and producing the small flashlight he had made. “Don’t move.” One hand reached out, holding open Captain Hammer’s eyes as the other shined a light into it. They were clouded, unfocused, not even watering at the bright light. No trace of Captain Hammer in those eyes.
A snort of laughter burst out of Dr. Horrible’s lips. Then a chuckle. Then Dr. Horrible roared with laughter. Doubled over in his mirth, Dr. Horrible stood in the streets of Ponyville and laughed and laughed and laughed.
***
Click.
Click.
“No! I didn’t want to click that one! Damn it!”
Professor Normal sat at his desk, his computer opened to Minesweeper. A small box popped up, just under a yellow smiley face with Xs for eyes, which proudly proclaimed that he had lost 30 games in a row.
“Stupid game,” cursed the villain, closing the window and poising his finger to start a new game.
There was a knock at the door.
Professor Normal sighed, switching his screen to an official-looking page of Google Docs. “Enter.”
The door swung open noisily, revealing a slightly green minion. “You asked me to report to you, sir?”
“Ah, Bob! Nice to see you again. I figured that you’ve had quite enough time to give that arm a once over.” Professor Normal leaned forward slightly. “Tell me, son, what did you and your team find?”
Bob gulped, trying to work the sight and smell of blood out of his senses. “I-It was severed, sir. A very clean wound, delivered in an instant, without losing any of its momentum as it traveled through Captain Hammer’s arm. It resembles a guillotine wound, sir. If guillotines could be razor sharp.”
Professor Normal smiled. “Robespierre has been dabbling in interdimensional travel, has he?”
Silence fell on the room.
“Laugh.”
Bob laughed. Professor Normal smiled again, leaning back in his chair and motioning for Bob to continue.
“Sir, we’re not entirely sure what caused the wound, but my team and I believe that it came from the lack of energy stored within the crystal.”
“And why is that, Bob?”
“There was something, sir. In the room with Captain Hammer when he disappeared. My team and I reviewed the equipment we had and detected a field of some force, originating from the box and growing outwards, like a bubble. It enveloped most of Captain Hammer, stopping just past his shoulder.”
“Right at the incision site, I assume?”
“Yes, sir.”
Professor Normal steepled the tips of his fingers. “So, the bubble burst, taking everything within it to wherever Dr. Horrible went and leaving everything else. Including Captain Hammer’s arm.”
Bob turned a deeper shade of green. “Yes, sir.”
“How fascinating.” Professor Normal leaned back in his chair. “Bob, would you care to explain why, if the jewel was attached to the box, the jewel did not disappear with everything else?”
Bob froze. “I… I don’t know, sir.”
“Mmmmm. And Bob, why do we have the box in the first place? Why did it disappear this time and not when Dr. Horrible used it?”
“I don’t know, sir.”
“I see…” Professor Normal got to his feet, walking slowly towards the minion. “Well, you had best return to that vein of research. Answer those questions, then find a way to reenergize the crystal.” The villain came to a stop just in front of Bob. “Is that clear?”
“Yes, sir.”
Professor Normal smiled, softly slapping Bob’s cheek twice. “There’s a good boy.” He strode past Bob, throwing open the door. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be visiting with Snake Bite for the next hour or so. We have something to discuss.”
***
“Poison?” asked Twilight Sparkle.
Dr. Horrible nodded, a slight smile still on his face. “Yes, that’s Snake Bite’s specialty. Mostly poison for killing, but it can be used for… other purposes.”
“So you brainwashed him?!”
Captain Hammer had been returned to the hospital, tame as a puppy considering that Dr. Horrible could make him do anything with a few words. Dr. Horrible, Applejack, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash sat in Captain Hammer’s old hospital room. The once hero sat in a corner, staring vigilantly at nothing.
Dr. Horrible shrugged. “It wasn’t me. Besides we’re not the Evil League of Evil for nothing.”
“Wait,” cut in Rainbow Dash, “you’re an actual villain? Like, with a league of other villains and everything?”
A pause. “What, did the death ray not give it away?”
“I thought you were kidding!”
“You brainwashed him?!” repeated Twilight, slightly louder.
“No, I didn’t,” said Dr. Horrible with a roll of his eyes. “Snake Bite did. Probably as a birthday present to me or something. I didn’t even know Captain Hammer was in the League.”
“As… a present,” said Applejack.
Dr. Horrible smiled. “Yes, she’s very thoughtful.”
“And that box?” asked Twilight uneasily. “Why do you have that box?”
The villain tossed the box from hand to hand, smiling down at it. “It’s how I got here. It’s also my way back home.”
Twilight Sparkle’s eyes lit up, one hoof lifting subconsciously to examine the new piece of technology. “How does it work?”
“It doesn’t. Not yet anyway.” Dr. Horrible’s smile slipped slightly. “It’s missing something very important. A jewel with just the right index of refraction.” He lifted the box slightly. “A jewel that can shatter dimensions.”
“You brought him back here,” said a highly unamused voice from the doorway. Nurse Redheart stood there, a slight scrunch to her muzzle and the edges of bandages poking from her nurse’s cap. “Wonderful.”
“Nurse Redheart,” said Twilight worriedly, “are you okay?”
The nurse made a dismissive gesture. “Slight concussion. Largely healed now, but I’m being forced to head back home for some rest.” She turned towards Captain Hammer. “This one is a bit of a problem.”
Dr. Horrible snorted. “You have no idea.”
Nurse Redheart turned curiously towards him. “And you do, do you?”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash stepped a bit closer towards the villain. “What gives, Doctor? Why’s this guy tearing up Ponyville?”
“Why do you think that he’s your ‘present’?” asked Twilight.
Nurse Redheart furrowed her brow. “His what?”
“He’s a hero,” said Dr. Horrible, “and I’m a villain. I think that I’ve said this before.”
“But what does that mean?” asked Applejack.
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah! You haven’t really been much of a villain. I mean, a bit of a jerk, yeah but not evil.”
Three sets of hooves sounded on the hospital’s hallways. Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie slid into the room, sending out various calls of worries.
“Are you all okay?!”
“We heard what happened, and we came as quickly as we could!”
“Y-You’re not hurt, are you?”
“We’re fine, girls,” said Twilight. She turned pointedly towards Dr. Horrible. “He was just going to tell us why we had a brainwashed, one-armed human running through Ponyville.”
“Brainwashed?” asked Rarity.
“To be fair,” said Dr. Horrible with a slight smile. “I’m not sure why he only has one arm.” A note of venom entered his voice. “But I hope that he felt every moment of pain.” He turned, looking at the figure in the corner. “Hey, Captain! Did it hurt when your arm came off?”
Captain Hammer nodded. “Very painful, sir.”
“Good,” spat Dr. Horrible.
“Doctor!” protested Twilight.
“Oh, don’t give me that crap! You don’t know what he did!”
“Then why don’t you tell us?” asked Pinkie.
“Because I don’t want to!”
Rarity let out a light scoff. “Well, that’s certainly quite the attitude to take.”
“C’mon, sugarcube,” said Applejack softly. “We want to know.”
“Please, Doctor?” asked Fluttershy. “Can we lend a helping hoof?”
Dr. Horrible worked his jaw, glancing from pony to pony. His eyes rested on Fluttershy. “He’s a liar. A braggart. A narcissist, a false idol, an idiot, and one of the most terrible people that I have ever met. He doesn’t care for anything except himself and tricks everyone into thinking that he’s the hero! He took everything from me and the people cheered for HIM!”
The room was silent. The villain breathed heavily and deeply.
“The last I heard of him,” continued Dr. Horrible, “he was in therapy. Crying, complaining about how much pain he was in. I had hurt him. Burned him or something, just a little bit. The first time that he had ever felt pain.” The smallest degree of pride colored those words, but it was quickly swept away. “But I didn’t kill him. You know, that’s one of the requirements for getting into the Evil League of Evil. We have to kill someone.”
“Y-You’ve killed?” asked Fluttershy quietly.
Dr. Horrible kept his gaze on the floor. “I can,” he whispered. “I can kill. It would be so easy to do it. I could do it right now.” He pushed himself off of the bed, striding over to the corner of the room, grabbing Captain Hammer by his hair and forcing him to look up.
The villain’s vision was tinted with red, the same red that had flashed through the room so long ago. “Why do you live?”
“I live for the League.”
“What do you do?”
“Whatever the League asks.”
“Doctor, what are you doing?” asked Twilight.
“Is there anything you wouldn’t do?”
The ponies were all on their hooves. Somepony called out, “Doctor!” Dr. Horrible couldn’t tell who.
“No,” said Captain Hammer.
“Then listen to me.” Dr. Horrible might have been shouting or whispering. The ponies could have been screaming into his ears or deathly silent. He couldn’t tell. All he could hear was the blood pounding through his ears.
Captain Hammer stared up at the villain with clouded eyes.
Something wrapped around Dr. Horrible’s body, dragging him backwards. The villain held firmly onto the hero’s hair.
“Die, Captain Hammer! I want you to DIE!"