//------------------------------// // Squirrel // Story: Billy the Homicidal Radioactive Goat from Space!!! // by DVAN56 //------------------------------// “WAHAHAHAHAH!!!!” BOOM! That was the sound that echoed throughout half of Equestria. Everypony saw the green star fall from the sky and the maniacal laughing that came from it as it fell. And fall it did... right into the center of the Everfree forest, leaving a smoking crater in its wake. For on that day a… very disturbed, creature landed on their world. “Ahhh, my fuckin’ head!” the creature within the crater said as it stepped out of the smoke. The creature that stepped forth was a goat, a green glowing goat… with a black spiked collar. His left eye was constantly twitching as he took a look at the surrounding area. Atop his head was a pair of horn, with tips sharper than most razors. “Where the fuck am I,” he shouted as he looked over his surroundings, walking away from the crater, “Hell this place is as green as-” He stopped as he turned his head to face a tree. It had somehow got his full attention as he just stared at it, as if it had great importance. It was almost as if he was in a trance like state for a minute before his blank expression soon turned to a smile. A very menacing smile. “Fuckin’ squirrel!” He yelled as he rushed at the tree, and then knocked it down from the sheer force of a single headbutt. The tree fell, landing in a loud crash. A squirrel was in fact in the tree and jumped to another to escape the potentially fatal crash. The goat saw it jump to the next tree. He snorted in anger at it and proceeded to knock down the next tree as well, while keeping his eye on the prize, the squirrel. ----- The fall of the green star did not go unnoticed in Canterlot, and from one of the castle’s many balconies that overlooked the kingdom below, the two ruling princesses of the land were having an argument. “Luna, I still don’t think this is a good idea. Twilight and her friends are-.” “Are not immune to the energies we sensed coming from that thing. You forget just because Twilight is an alicorn, it doesn't make her immortal like us,” Luna interrupted her sister. “But-” “Sister, I know what Twilight is capable of, but this time she must sit on the sidelines. If it makes you feel better I will not be going alone.” “And who are you taking?” As if Celestia’s question was a cue to enter, a certain Draconequus popped in wearing a tropical shirt, a stawl hat, and sunglasses. “Ok Luna, I’m ready when you are,” Discord said as he floated next to the two royal alicorns, positioning himself as if sitting in a beach chair with his arms behind his head. Celestia just looked at Discord in bewilderment before looking back at her sister, “You can’t be serious.” “Very much so, like us he is immortal and -” Before Luna could finish a loud crashing sound was heard off in the distance grabbing the attention of the two alicorns. In the distance they could see the Everfree forest, and the trees in it, falling one by one heading straight for the town that bordered the forest, Ponyville. “It looks like time is against us. Come Discord!” Luna ordered as she flew off the balcony in the direction of the forest, hoping to intercept this unknown creature before it reached Ponyville. Discord just snapped his fingers of his lion paw and teleported to Luna’s back, his attire changing from the tropical shirt to a suit of iron armor while wielding a lance in one hand. “Onward my steed!” he shouted from Luna’s back. “DISCORD!!!” ----- Another tree fell to the glowing green goat, and again the squirrel jumped to another tree. “I’m gonna kill you, you furry assed bastard!” the goat yelled as it rammed the next tree. The squirrel jumped to the next tree, however it was surprised when it gripped only empty air. Panicked, the squirrel waved wildly as it fell, but it never touched the ground. The goat watched the squirrel as it flung around wildly in the air, his eyes growing as wide as a childs on christmas morning. He ran at the squirrel with lightning speed, the world slowing down around him. The squirrel was just inches from the ground, “YOU’RE BILLY’S NOW!” he shouted before grabbing it in his mouth. Billy then flung the squirrel back into the air, far enough away from the trees to keep it from escaping. “Say goodbye to this world you furry little bastard!” As the squirrel fell all it could do was close its eyes and hope for the best, it was a vain attempt however. Billy positioned his head just right and the squirrel was impaled on the horn, the squirrels blood dripping down his face and finding its way to the corner of his mouth. Billy used his tongue and licked the blood off the corner of his mouth, “Hummm, not the best, but not bad either… Fuckin’ squirrals.” He continued to lick the side of his mouth as the squirrel continued to bleed out onto his head. He was unaware that he had left the forest he had landed in, or that he now had an audience. The shy yellow pegasus, known as Fluttershy, who made her home on the forest edge was outside tending to her animal friends when she witnessed the event. She could only gasp in horror at the sight of the poor little squirrel being run through by the goat’s horn. Then the sight of the goat licking the blood from its face, it was too much for the meek pegasus to handle. She fainted, landing with a loud thump. The sound of the yellow pony hitting the ground got Billy’s attention. He just looked at her for a moment, no expression on his face before tilting his head in confusion. Though the movement of his head tilting looked soft and gentle, there was enough force behind it to fling the now dead squirrel off his horn and into the underbrush of the forest. “Now how in the Hell did I do that?” he asked himself as he began to approach the unconscious pony, “I don’t kill things by accident its not my -” He stopped as he got closer to Fluttershy, now able to see her features more clearly, “Are those fuckin’ things wings?... I like wings.”