With how exhausted I was, it came as no surprise that I happened across that strange and fantastical place slash state of mind that I’ve dubbed the conception canvas. What I wasn’t expecting, however was to find the unprecedented sight of the Princess of the night actually waiting there for me wearing a starry toga and with an anticipative gleam in her eyes.
“How did thy quest fare Zenith? Did thou successfully retrieve the item we informed you of? As well as cast out the foul evils lurking within the grounds of our old keep?”
‘She must either have eyes and ears in a lot of places to know that I departed just mere hours ago, or be a very accurate judge of timing’ I was once again grateful that my inner thoughts were still masked in the confines of my mindscape.
“Yes…” I spoke hesitantly, fresh memories of the things I saw flashing in my mind’s eye, “Among other things, I also made a few discoveries”
Internally I was debating over whether I was to tell her about the spirits of the deceased being prevented from finding peace until my arrival that night. It was a tough call, but I decided to leave that particular detail out of my report. Telling her that her conversion into the Night Terror essentially damned innocent people to a millennium of torment alongside her would quite likely upset her, and it pained me to see the majestic lunar monarch regress into an emotional wreck wracked with guilt over her past deeds. There was no reason to open up past wounds just to pour salt in them over something that was now resolved.
“We would very much like to hear about them” The pale skinned beauty smiled.
“Let’s discuss this someplace more scenic first” I offered, cycling through mental screensavers for a more suitable atmosphere.
I shifted the landscape around us into something more idyllic, I figured rolling grassy plains before an ocean glowing orange in an afternoon sun would have to do. The Princess gave our new backdrop an appraising glance but chose not to comment on them. I summoned for us some lawn chairs for us along with a Piña colada for the lady, who eyed it amusedly before partaking of its contents and vocalizing a thoughtful hum at the flavor.
“Because daylight can’t be more than a few hours from now at best and our time is therefore short, I’ll keep this brief” She tilted her head down in concurrence, “I ventured into the Neverfree forest, got a good idea of why people tend to steer clear of it, came upon your old castle and proceeded inside, sprung several rather cliché deathtraps; that were rather trite in this humble adventurer’s opinion. Faced a stony effigy of your own darkness incarnate and brought it low with an equally hackneyed gambit on my part which involved a heavy metal chandelier. But I have successfully exorcised the ruins of the Neverfree castle and managed to find you and your sister’s memoirs on top of it, I’ll deliver them to you personally the next time I find myself in the Capital”
She closed her eyes thoughtfully at my concise summary, “We are gladdened by your triumphs over the machinations of the architects of old and over the products of our… past mistakes” She ended slowly, looking somewhat downtrodden.
“Cheer up Luna. And leave the past where it belongs, in the past” I punctuated the statement by downing a glass of virgin mimosa that I willed into the gap between my fingers.
She inclined her head, “Of course Zenith, we shall do our best to abide by your suggestion”
I rose from the lawn chair and paced a few steps in the sand, which despite it’s nonexistence, still felt soft and grainy under my feet like the real deal. This momentarily made me think about how close to the mark the Matrix was about sensations just being a stream of information being interpreted by the brain, but I shook my head clear of it and resumed my recount of the night’s events with its benefactress.
“I found three other items of interest stowed away along with you and your sister’s diary, the first of which were a couple of the most extraordinary armored bracers” I equipped them on with only a thought and proceeded to pose in the style of assassin’s creed brotherhood, holding my arms in a crisscross fashion with the blades flicked out and extended.
Luna’s eyes widened as she beheld them, I retracted them in a smooth motion and began my inquiry, “Perhaps you could enlighten me as to their history and why they were hidden away along with your journal?”
“Those belonged to an old ally and confidant of ours named Plain Sight, a master assassin and ever faithful friend, one of the very few we were privileged to call so” She explained with a wistful expression.
I grinned wryly at his moniker, the reference not lost on me, “An assassin you say? You’d think he’d be named after something more in league with his profession” I said with faux skepticism, probing for further elaboration.
“But he was” Luna countered, “You would not be able to tell he was an assassin at first glance, since his was an unassuming face in the crowd. The reason why he was so successful was because he became one with his surroundings and made it his tool in the disposal of his targets. Whenever he saw the perfect opportunity, he would strike swiftly and with flawless execution. Rapidly disappearing into the fray without a trace, if the reports of the guards chasing him were to be believed” She wore an amused smile, clearly knowing otherwise.
“I assume he had his methods for that”
She giggled in response, “He once told us that he hid in a hay stack that was being carted out of the city after dealing with his mark” Yet again, I found myself intrigued by the uncanny video game standards this world shared with mine.
“And his bracer blades?” I patted the mechanism underneath my right arm.
“An invention of his own, those allowed for him to always be armed even when stripped of his more conspicuous conventional weapons, though they quickly became his favored instruments of lethality”
She paused in thought, recognizing the need to officially confer them to me, “Instruments that are now passed on to you, I’m sure he would rather them be used in the protection of Arcania once more than continue to gather dust for another thousand years. May they serve you well Zenith”
“And may I never find a need to use them” I said in turn, “Speaking of need, what kind of political situation existed a millennia ago that required you to employ the services of an assassin?”
She gestured to my mindscape, “May we?” to which I gave consent with a quick nod.
She began shifting it into a medieval looking hallway filled with portraits of various characters, some were of men and women that seemed honorable and upright, and those that were clearly of disreputable brigands and despots.
“Arcania was not always the carefree and peaceful land that you see today. From the times before and after its founding, the world was always in a state of flux, pointless conflicts were made over equally meaningless portions of earth, rimy Windigo spirits fed off of the bloodshed and created merciless winters that bred harsh famines everywhere, and our country itself had more than its fair share of enemies who eyed the vast resources and fertile soils of this land with envy in their minds and hatred in their hearts”
She highlighted a specific row of paintings with her magic, each depicting an unsavory looking character that fit the description of a bloodthirsty warlord like a glove. In particular she lit up the portrait of an austere man with a jagged iron crown covering his snow-white hair and maroon colored mascara like shadings around his eyes that made it seem as though his face was caked with dried blood. Even as a painting, there was a treacherous gleam in his eye that spoke volumes about his character.
“Though their lands lay beyond the tranquil sea, there were plenty of war mongers in the formerly separate city states of Gryphondria that were always scheming of uniting their country under one banner and assaulting their Arcanian neighbor to the west, the closest that has ever came to fruition was with the man who after much conquest, proclaimed himself warrior king over the Gryphon people; King Thunderblood”
“And has Arcania ever been invaded by a foreign power like them?” I asked, continuing to gaze upon the painting, deep in comprehensive thought.
“Plain Sight saw to it that the King took ill and died before ever marshaling his forces across the sea, or so the historians say” She looked over to me with a melancholic expression, “Our good friend came back to us with several new scars after his dispatching of that vile warlord, but he put an end to his despicable dreams of a Gryphondrian empire” To punctuate her statement, the portrait burst into flames until only ashes were left. I thought it was a bit melodramatic, but the guy was clearly a threat to her subjects that she was all too happy to rid the world of.
“I’ve not read much into the nations residing outside of this one, what happened afterwards?”
“With the death of Thunderblood, his lieutenants carved into his territory and fought each other into oblivion. But from the ashes rose another who would unite his people and bring order to the chaos”
“Not another warlord I hope?”
“Thankfully, a repetition was not to be; in fact we dare say that it was a pleasure to acquaint ourselves with Maximilian the Merciful, as he came to be known” I noted that this man had a unique tinge of light purple on the tips of his pointed hair, I filed that nuance away in the pending review bin.
She smiled respectfully as she illuminated his decidedly less imposing image, “A man who actually limited his power and that of his heirs by establishing a council of elders who could overrule any decree which they felt was detrimental to the wellbeing of the Gryphon people”
“And their opinions toward this country after that?”
“We’ve traded goods on occasion, but in the times before our exile they regarded us with a cool condescension. Though they held and still hold a healthy respect for the Valkyrians, whom they’ve sparred with several times in the distant past over outposts in the sky and were rebuffed every time”
“I see… what other lands does Arcania share the world with, and furthermore, how are its relationships with them?” I delved deeper into the subject.
She shot me a mysterious stare, “Why do you develop a sudden interest in affairs with which you have no stake in? We were under the impression that you were sent to Magiville to learn more about friendship, not mundane matters which concern our self and our sister”
I shrugged, “I figured it would be nicer to hear about it firsthand than read about it in some musty old book”
‘Twilight would probably strangle me if I told her that. Or worse… lecture me to death’
“We suppose that we would be remiss if you stayed uninformed in these singular matters of the state… very well”
She focused the spotlight on a new set of portraits, these being of the more agreeable looking leaders I saw earlier, “Not far to the southwest lies the tropical Minosian isles. They seem insignificant at first, but their inhabitants are among the fiercest warriors and renowned smithies in the known world. A proud and passionate people, the Minosians value strength and honor above all things, choosing to elect their leaders through age-old trials of toil and turmoil. If more than one contender makes it through their tribulations unscathed…” She shot me an impish look and grinned, “The remainder fight to the death for the right to be King”
“Sounds intense” Luna’s blithe attitude towards violence compared to her sister’s near pacifism made me wonder sometimes.
“Indeed it is, King Thorn Heart struck down four others to earn his crown” She spoke as if she admired the man’s ferocity in the ring of honor.
His painting depicted a mammoth of a man built like a tank and absolutely covered in rough scars. His was the kind of smile that indicated that he was thinking of over a dozen different ways to shatter your spine as he shook your hand very firmly. I made another mental note discouraging myself from ever taking a relaxing vacation there anytime soon.
“So what’s the deal? Do they like us, hate us, or are they indifferent?”
“If a fourth option combining them were the reason, they would be it. The Minosians have a notorious history of backing us one moment, then subverting us the next. King Thorn Heart rarely acknowledges our attempts to establish contact and our missives entreating him to speak on behalf of his people at our political summits are met with silence”
“How long has he been King?”
“Two decades now. When he expires or is defeated by a challenger, we’ll know of it via an insider we’ve taken the painstaking measures of planting in his court. But in the meantime, the Minosian people are proving to be obstinate as always. Though any who venture outside the archipelago make for great traveling company and mercenaries, or so we have been told”
“I’ll definitely bear that in mind, is there anyone else I should know about?”
Her magic bathed the portrait of an incredibly old woman with ebony skin and white tribal patterned stripes painted all over her face, “This is the elder matriarch and high priest over the savannah lands of Zstarasia far to the southeast. It is a confederacy that consists of several nomadic tribes who congregate during times of war or when other great crises arise. They are a strange people, with exotic magics and customs that few outsiders are privy to, our self included”
“Are they friendly at least?” I asked, suddenly reminded that I still hadn’t met Zecora yet. Who doubtlessly called those dry plains home at some point in the past before roosting in the Neverfree.
“They listen to the wisdom of their elders, who see my sister and I as paragons of purity and virtue. They also consider us to be the physical manifestations of their spirits of light and darkness respectively. As such, they are on quite good terms with Arcania and stand by us when it comes to international concerns, something that has drawn no small amount of ire from the other convening members at our proceedings”
“Does this Matriarch have a name and actual authority?”
She responded in the negative, “One of their customs involves abandoning any reminders of their past once they reach what they call ‘spiritual enlightenment’ and become true elders, this includes their original name. As for her influence, it all depends on her interpretation of their recorded prophecies, all of which are incredibly vague. We feel that they are a poor substitute for actual clairvoyance, as was the case with the Sisters of Fate”
I remembered a minute detail that Daring mentioned to me when I first met her and brought it up, “What about the deserts of Aridia? They’re governed by a Sultan aren’t they?”
“Sultan Mahad? I recall him expressing his displeasure in a long winded letter touching on finding a thief in his private library, which he was certain was sent by us. We dismissed his accusations as the delusions of a paranoid mind, although my sister took time out of her day to reprimand her agent for being so sloppy”
I blinked, “Daring works directly for your sister? I thought she received assignments from the C.I.A?”
She cocked a brow my way, “My sister is fond of occasionally sending her out to either neutralize or recover ancient magical artifacts. You know her agent?”
“Who do you think helped her retrieve the stolen Crystal Chalice of Sombra?” I answered her, memories of that time causing the corners of my lip to curl upward ever so subtly.
“We see, so you’re the one my sister’s operative spoke so highly of”
Flattered as I was with Daring’s praises, I waved away the accolades, “Ah, I didn’t do that much. It was either help her recover the artifact or earn my official ipseity the hard way”
“Do not be so modest Zenith, your timely participation in that matter prevented a mad man from becoming a second Sombra, thereby averting a great calamity before it could take place”
“If you say so. What about that one gaunt looking fellow over there?” I pointed to the picture of thin looking man with silvery hair flowing down his head in long cascades and cloudy eyes that were brimming with untold wisdom.
“T’is the likeness of Aschvere, chief diviner of the Eternity council. And one of the few immortals beyond the Trifects and Discord that does not reside in Arcania”
My curiosity was piqued by this revelation, “Interesting…and what can you tell me about him and the land he represents?”
“He is one of three councilmen and the strongest farseer in all of Cervidia; who place emphasis on forestalling disasters from beyond their borders leaking into their precious forests. As such, they have magically sealed off their country, any who step foot inside the eternal greenwoods leave the same way they came. Our messengers found this out for themselves”
“Why not just fly their way in?” I asked, wondering why such a practical solution was not used.
“Before isolating themselves from the rest of the world, the Eternity council issued a statement; any and all attempts to surpass the natural barriers by whatever means would be seen as an act of war and dealt with accordingly. The first and last time an army of over ten thousand strong tried to reach the city of Arboria, they never returned”
“And who would be foolish enough to send a detachment of that size?”
“The Cervidians share a frontier with the Gryphondrians, one warlord got too ambitious for his own good and personally led his men inside. There was no mourning among that warlord’s subjects; the world was much better off without him. The families of all those soldiers however, wept for their lost sons and husbands”
“A shame, and they’re still isolationist to this day?”
“Verily” She confirmed, once more utilizing that archaic vernacular that I was always fond of.
“Any other nations I should know about?”
“We believe we have versed you sufficiently in the list of major players, other factions and clandestine cabals exist, but are not as relevant. We find our self more interested in the other two objects you recovered instead”
I shrugged apathetically, “The other two aren’t as fascinating as the hidden blades. Just two bags, one filled with metallic shards and the other filled with gems, I can keep those too right?”
“You may, what color were the metallic shards perchance?”
“Grayish, why do you ask?”
“Because you now possess the components necessary to wield your very own Mageblade”
“A Mageblade?” I parroted, now feeling totally justified in keeping the seemingly useless fragments.
“A versatile weapon that in the hands of a competent mage, becomes an absolute terror on the battlefield. The bag you found contained the last of our specially forged and folded Arcanium metals, an especially rare metal with the rather unique property of being magically bipolar; one half facilitates and conducts magical energies with the utmost ease; allowing it to be coupled with secondary spells, while the other half is completely null to its effects”
‘But will it blend?’
“You also said that it was folded, care to elaborate on that?” I asked, this new armament sounded almost too good to be true.
“When fully assembled, you’ll notice that the edges of the blade are not the same coloration as those of the main body, this is because they are of the nullifying end. Not only are they honed to a very fine edge, they have the capacity for ignoring anything that has magic augmenting it; weapons, shields, even the legendary durability of Dragon scales are rendered defunct once they make contact”
“So it wouldn’t matter if someone raised a bubble shield and I struck it?” I was starting to like this new weapon already!
“Indeed, it would as they say; ‘cut through it like a hot knife through butter’” She recited the adage, yet another constant between our two worlds.
“When we first met, I noticed that you had an ordinary looking sword at your side, or did my eyes deceive me?” I inquired, connecting the dots.
“They did, you laid eyes on our personal Arcanium sword Blue Moon” She summoned a visual representation of said weapon and held the flat of the segmented silvery blue blade at face level in some kind of formal salute before dismissing it.
“How am I supposed to make use of this spellbinding new tool without a hilt?”
“You are proficient in basic levitation yes?” She rhetorically asked, she was the one to train me after all, “A hilt is a needless luxury, you can brandish it using your arcane skill alone”
“There must be over a dozen pieces though! That’s a lot to keep track of for Neophyte of the arcane arts like me” Compared to the surgically precise finesse of an age-old user like the Princess, my usage of magic was about as refined as a club. That is to say, blunt and inefficient, if last night’s magical exhaustion was any indication of that.
“Practice makes progress Zenith, you will be much more prepared for the unforgiving world outside our borders with Mageblade mastery under your belt, believe us on that”
Her eyes sparked as she remembered something, “One other thing, you must name it. In order for you and your Mageblade to truly become one, you need to attach a designation with purpose behind it. It’s one of the many mysteries of magic that eludes even us, but the results cannot be argued with”
I scratched my chin in contemplation, “I’m half tempted to name it Narsil because it’s a collection of keenly honed shards, but I think Dichotomy would be a more apt title”
‘And not just because I intend to bisect my foes with it’ I somewhat morbidly opined to myself.
“And so two became three, Dichotomy it is Zenith. Use it in the defense of Harmony and all other values which we hold near and dear” Luna officially declared, hinting that her sister had a Mageblade of her own.
“I shall” I agreed, my personal vow to serve others ringing clear.
I was about to ask if I could keep the bag full of shiny rocks when Luna spoke up, “Our memory is not so faded as to not remember the third item stored in the chest, you may also keep the gems”
“Do they have special properties as well?” I asked, half expecting them to be miniature zero point modules.
“Nay, they be ordinary jewels. Do with them as you see fit”
I was kind of disappointed to hear that, but chests don’t always contain exclusively rare items. Although that train of thought gave me an idea with what to do with them.
I did have a final request for the Lunar monarch though, “The next time you speak to your dear sister, could you ask her how in the world she managed to turn a ball point pen into a fountain pen? It boggles the mind”
The familiar cracking of the landscape signaled the approach of dawn, the Lunar Princess waved her farewell before getting one last word in.
“We will endeavor to ask her. Do tell Applejack we said hello, please” She grinningly adjured as the conception canvas finally broke apart.
⁂
The pesky rays that were the bane of anyone who wanted to sleep in five minutes longer grated against my retinas with an annoying intensity. I curmudgeonly thought about utilizing Spike to send a letter to Celestia telling her to turn down the Sun, but the sensation of a mysterious soothing warmth against my bare chest demanded my immediate attention.
‘That’s odd, I don’t remember taking my shirt off’ I cracked both eyelids up to examine the source of this enigma.
They almost snapped open when I discovered the snoozing form of Applejack holding me close like some kind of cuddly teddy bear, her hand occasionally brushing against my chest and making my breath hitch. I wouldn’t be able to extract myself from her embrace without waking her up and beginning a somewhat awkward conversation. I had stored all of my loot in my bags beforehand so it was unlikely that she would be knowledgeable about my absence for those few hours in between. This also meant that she was the culprit who came in here recently, took my shirt off, and snuggled up to me.
‘Brilliant deduction there Holmes’ I never could stand for people stating things that were mind numbingly obvious, even when it was myself doing it.
It was way too early for this crap, I decided to bite the bullet and gently nudge the hatless blonde awake. She grumbled something unintelligible and rolled in position, mercifully letting go of me in the process. I took this strange opportunity to admire her appearance, she wasn’t naked thankfully, wearing a light orange bra with an Apple shaped clasp on the back to cover up her bountiful chest. She was also lacking those bands that kept her golden locks in place, enabling it to freely flow past her freckled face and around her shoulders in long yellowy waterfalls of hair. I didn’t focus on it much in the past, but I had to admit that Applejack was quite a beautiful woman.
It still begged the question of what she was doing cuddling up next to me though. I elected to find out before something really undesirable like her protective big brother knocking on my door happened.
I leaned over and spoke to her prone form, “Didn’t I say dinner and a movie first? Shame on you for taking advantage of a dozing and completely vulnerable man” I jestingly chided her, my words having the effect of jolting her awake. She looked flustered for a moment before composing herself and seductively crawling closer to me.
“U-hh hey sugarcube, sleep well? I know I certainly did, ‘specially after the fine way ya handled me las’ night” She winked suggestively at me, although her slip up at the beginning made me doubt whatever act she was trying to sell.
“What in the world are you talking about?” I was understandably confused by her behavior, why we she sneak into my bed in the wee hours of the morning?
“Ya don’t remember? Can’t say I blame ya, with all the alcohol you quaffed down, yer memory is bound to be a lil hazy. You were a good deal more flirtatious than I expected, charmed the pants right offa me ya did” She nervously chuckled, a red tinge on her cheeks clueing me in on how difficult it was for her to maintain her guise.
I was about to retort that my pants were still on and therefore it was incredibly unlikely that we did do anything questionable, even if her ridiculous story held some semblance of truth. Then it all came together with a figurative click, as the gears in my brain finally started turning. Applejack was trying (and failing) to hoodwink me into thinking that I slept with her, but I highly suspected that she didn’t come up with this naughty little prank by herself; somebody had to have put her up to it.
But before I found out whom, I was going to have a little fun turning this against her. I cleared the confusion from my face and replaced it with a devious grin, closing what little distance lay between us and getting up close and personal with AJ, who recoiled at the sudden movement and was now pinned between me and the headrest. I spoke in the huskiest voice I could manage and whispered into her right ear.
“Oh did I? And just how well did I perform? Did I make you scream my name in sheer ecstasy as you rode out multiple waves of pure orgasmic bliss?”
I punctuated the steamy string of questions by playfully nipping at her earlobe, drawing a sharp gasp out of the cowgirl and making her cheeks flare so red as to make her namesake look dim in comparison. She stuttered for a response but was made utterly speechless from my unexpected reaction to her facade. It might have been pushing things between us a bit far, but I exploited her stupefied state to steal a kiss that was neither long nor short. She let out a muffled noise of shock and I felt her body become extremely tense as I drew away, keeping that dastardly self satisfied expression glued to my face. It took her all of two minutes to recompose herself; she avoided my eyes as she brought herself to speak again.
“Li-listen Zenith, I-I have a confession ta make”
“Lemme guess, this whole thing was a setup?” I dryly commented, arching an eyebrow and fully channeling a monotonous drone for maximum deadpan effect.
Her jaw unhinged for a moment before she adopted a look of indignation, roughly tossing a pillow at me, “Ya knew this whole time!? Then what was all that fer!?” She huffed in frustration, “And why’d ya kiss me?” Based on her wavering tone, she couldn’t seem to decide whether to be angry or pleased about the way this shenanigan backfired.
“To see if you tasted like apples. Spoilers! You totally do. Now spill, who was the mastermind or minds behind this insidious plot to provoke some kind of embarrassed reaction out of me?”
“Why, I-I don’t know what you mean” She fibbed, not making eye contact yet again.
I sighed exasperatedly and rubbed at the temples of my forehead, my patience was not infinite, “Amusing as it is to see you try, you need to stop lying Applejack. You’re no good at it anyway”
She folded her arms together and gave me a stink eye, “And you are? Speakin’ of which, didja keep yer word and apologize to Golden yet? Or was I wrong about you?”
“These things take time AJ, although I’d say setting her up on a date with someone who seems like he genuinely cares about her is a step toward progress. And wrong about me in what way?” I asked, curious as to what Applejack really thought of me.
“A date huh? Doesn’t really sound ta me like an actual apology, more like dancin’ around the issue. And ferget I said anything, I wasn’t in my right mind to be thinkin’ of ya like that” She left the safety of the bed sheets and got up to stretch, which also gave me a nice view of her fruit themed panties.
‘Wonder if they have fruit of the loom here too’ I idly pondered; quickly looking away while AJ brazenly displayed her remarkably chiseled form, all those years of laboring in the fields having clearly paid off in spades.
Applejack took notice of my reserved reaction and called me out on it, “Why so shy alluva sudden? Ya didn’t seem ta mind earlier when you were on top of me actin’ all large and in charge” I could all but hear the grin in her voice and she touched the tips of her toes, showcasing the ample roundness of her rump. Not that I was peeking, of course.
“Despite the saucy things I told you earlier, I was raised to respect a woman’s virtue and her privacy, this is especially relevant when she’s not fully clothed” I explained, continuing to avert my eyes and grabbing a clean shirt out of my backpack to keep my vision from wandering.
“Could’ve fooled me, the way you was spoutin’ them sensuous words, I would’ve pegged you as some kinda deviant” She jokingly prodded at me.
I scoffed and put on the plain gray soft cotton tee, “You’re just jealous that I got a blush out of you and not the other way around. And furthermore, if we actually had done the dirty deed, then (if you’ll pardon the pun) I would really have to make an honest woman out of you, and someone like me is not ready to make that kind of commitment”
She stared at me with an expression that I couldn’t quite discern before grabbing her orange checkered shirt that was draped over the same nightstand where I put the replacement clock and donned it. She murmured something that I picked up just on the edges of my acute hearing as she slipped into her well-worn jeans.
“It was Rarity”
“Pardon?” I said, having heard her just fine but having some difficulty processing the answer.
“It was Rarity” She repeated, louder this time, “She’s the one who suggested I try to get you ta loosen up a bit”
“And this was her idea of doing so? Because this ‘method’ doesn’t seem quite her style” I remarked, spinning a finger in the air in reference to the whole situation.
“Nah, this particular idea was mine. Rarity would never suggest anythin’ as ‘improper’ as what I tried on you, but she didn’t exactly try and stop me either. We both jus’ wanted to see if you were really as stolid as my brother. Turns out ya ain’t, just not in the way I was expectin’”
“As I’ve told Twilight, I’m not always as serious as I look. Pushing this whole unusual wake up call aside, what’s the agenda for the day?”
She cast a funny expression my way as she fastened her boots, “Agenda? We treat Sunday as a day of rest ‘round here, no workin’ the fields, no business in the market, and nothin’ else intensive. Feel free ta take the day off Zenith, cause the rest of the week won’t be nearly as easy goin” She finished with a dark chuckle that would make a lazier person quiver in fear.
‘I can hardly wait…’
I grabbed my soiled shirt that I found hanging nearby and tossed it into a laundry hamper across the room with a swish, “I know it’s none of my business, but what do you plan to do today?” I politely pried.
“Me? Ah’m probably gonna keep an eye on Apple Bloom and her friends, make sure those three stay outta trouble. Mac’s likely still incapacitated from yesterday’s drinkin’, so he won’t be steppin foot outside of the farm, which he rarely does anyway” She gave the floor a stomp with each boot to make sure they were on tight before turning to face me, “Ya sure you ain’t upset about me tryin’ ta deceive you? And how are ya not hungover? You darn near drank enough to drown a man several times over!” She exclaimed, perplexed at my completely sober state.
“I don’t upset easily over something that I consider to be trivial. As for your other question, as it turns out, Trifects have a much higher alcohol tolerance than one would expect. Luna said hello by the way” I offhandedly mentioned as I put on my sneakers.
A rising pressure in my bladder reminded me that I still had a finite capacity for storing fluids, “You raised a good point though” I said as I speedily made a beeline for the bathroom, “Because I gotta piss like a race horse!”
Were I in the presence of more couth company; I’d be reprimanded thoroughly for such a blasé comment, but such vulgarities only elicited a laugh out of the country girl. After roughly five minutes, I emerged from the lavatory feeling significantly more refreshed, and retaining a strange sense of pride for possibly setting this world’s record for the longest tinkle. AJ had vacated the room, likely getting on with her day.
I grabbed my adventure pack and delved into its contents, rifling past Plain Sight’s hidden blades and opting to pull out the twin sacks of Arcanium shards and flawless gems instead. I tied the gem bag to my belt loop next to the munny pouch and poured the Arcanium shards onto the flat wooden surface of the other nightstand. All in all, there were fifteen shard fragments, each of various shapes and sizes but with the commonality of being honed to an edge that might as well have been microscopic, which made me wonder how the bag it was in hadn’t been split apart (I merely shrugged it off as magic, most explanations here tended to follow that course).
My hands began to glow as I reached out with my magic to encapsulate the metallic pile. Being so used to levitating normal objects left me completely unprepared for the sensation of actually feeling the metal as if it was an extension of my very being, I willed it to put itself together like a jigsaw puzzle and studied the finished result. When fully formed, Dichotomy resembled a runic sword (due to the seams conjoining the individual shards) and was about a meter in length and glowed with the same crimson aura as the magic I was channeling through it.
‘Kinda like a Forcesaber. I wonder if its as sharp’ I mused as I gave my new weapon a few practice swings, the blade gave off a gentle hum as it cleaved its way through the air effortlessly.
A third of the shards were a tad too long to be agile enough on their own, but the rest were small enough that they could make for deadly projectiles by themselves. I split Dichotomy into its individual components and examined the smaller fragments, because of their unique folding; the portions of the metals that my magic came into contact with could also theoretically be overcharged with my magic to release a small burst wave. This was of course way too hazardous to test out in the confines of the guest room, but I made a mental note to find a clear field the next chance I got. Perhaps I could get Rarity to fashion me some kind of holster or bandolier to contain the blade pieces on my person without having to keep them in a rudimentary bag by my side.
Speaking of whom, I needed to have a little chat with her about scheming with Applejack to evoke an abashed reaction out of me of all people. I did intend to do it politely though; perhaps I could even ‘convince’ her to make me a few designs of my own using my newfound bag of shinies as leverage.
‘Women love shinies right? Foolproof plan!’
I grinned to myself as I put away the pieces of my new kickass sword. I now had all the close range tools I could possibly need, but I lacked an outfit fitting enough to wear them with. I pulled out my laptop and proceeded to ‘glean’ a few ideas off the Internet and sketched the designs onto a scrap of note taking paper I had appropriated from Twilight’s endless stacks, utilizing my muscle memory spell to get the details as accurate as possible.
I made sure to include the exact measurements and everything to be doubly sure, I left the choice of material up to the expert, although I didn’t fail to specify that they were to be form fitting and functional. Rarity was no armorer, but I was all but certain that they had fabrics here that could be easily enchanted to provide some extra protection and flexibility in a heated situation. Once that was finished, I also spent the time meticulously roughing out an outline of a sheath for Dichotomy.
Once I was finished with my formulations, I folded the up the designs and placed them in my back pocket before making my way downstairs to the kitchen area to say good morning to everybody. I must have arrived a bit late though, because everyone’s plates were emptied and the only person still seated was an achy looking Big Macintosh, who was nursing a mug of coffee in one hand and massaging his forehead with the other. My plate of lukewarm food was calling my name though, so I sat down to quickly polish it off, taking extra care not to make too much noise and further aggravate Mac’s no doubt massive headache. I did feel the need to project some helpful advice though.
“Far be it from me to deprive a man of his morning pick me up, but coffee will only make that pounding in your head worst Big Red” I said between mouthfuls of delicious home cooked food.
“Hmm? How so?” The large man rumbled in reply.
“Caffeinated coffee acts as a diuretic, so it will act as a siphon and dehydrate you. Depriving your body and brain of that much needed essential fluid to hold the worst of it at bay, try drinking water instead” I humbly suggested.
He grunted, neither accepting or denying the help, “And jus’ how have you been spared? You had even more than me!” He exclaimed before pinching the bridge of his nose and groaning in discomfort at his own volume.
I thought about making a witty comment about the German in me taking to the beer like an old friend, but decided against it, “I’m a hardy guy I guess” I shrugged and went back to stuffing my stomach.
I finished my meal and even took the liberty of washing it in the sink in addition to putting it away before I was set to brainstorm about how the rest of my day off was to proceed when I heard the cheery voice of Apple Bloom calling my name from the living room. Despite my misgivings about being anywhere near young girls with a penchant for getting into trouble, it would be rude to ignore her beckoning to me. So I bit the bullet and went to see what it was that she wanted of me, the unmistakable sound of someone filling their mug with Adam’s ale as I left was not lost to me.
I entered the living room to see the unmistakable sight of Apple Bloom and her other two friends crowding around a rosewood coffee table that was positively strewn with papers revealing crudely drawn ideas for ‘Mana mark acquisition’ plans. Sitting on the couch wearing charmed smiles at their childlike enthusiasm were Applejack and Twilight, the latter of which bid me welcome.
“Good morning Zenith!” She pleasantly greeted me, which I mirrored in response, minus the excess cheer.
Applejack couldn’t bring herself to look in my direction, a faint blush appeared on her cheeks sporadically, no doubt reflecting on my louche mannerisms previously. I paid it no mind whatsoever; it wasn’t like I was going to blab to her close friend about how frisky she was while she was holding me close like some kind of safety blanket. To assure her that I meant to keep what happened earlier between us confidential, I acted like nothing had occurred as I sat down in an empty rocking chair. Apple Bloom had meanwhile been whispering fervidly to her fellow bland hands and approached me with a nearly perfidious gleam in her eye that I just couldn’t abide by, childish innocence or not.
“Mornin’ Zenith!”
“Good morning Apple Bloom” I regarded her neutrally, with Twilight and Applejack slightly frowning at my aloofness.
If Apple Bloom seemed to notice my coldness, she was clearly undeterred, “Me and the other Mana Mark Maidens have been doin’ some delib- deliber” She trailed off, sounding out the word in her head.
“Deliberating?” I finished for her.
She gave me a funny look, “What are ya? A dictionary?”
“Nay, I merely possess an enhanced vocabulary and refined sense of elocution” I grandiloquently snarked in reply, curling my right hand nails and inspecting them as I did so.
‘Well spoken if I do say so myself’ A mental avatar of me with a monocle and a highball toasted in salutation.
She crooked her head to the side, her bowtie undulating in response, “So… a dictionary right?”
“I’m guessing that you and your group had some kind of proposition in mind?” I pointedly reminded her, ignoring her likening me to her two toned friend, who sat next to the purple haired one and observed me for the first time.
“Ugh, yeah! Ya see, I told the girls about you missin’ your Mana mark and we decided that we want to induct you into our organization!” She happily exclaimed, holding up both arms as if making the sign for a field goal.
I blankly stared at her for a couple seconds before doing something I had very rarely done in the past even before arriving in this world.
I laughed.
And not just those hearty chuckles that intermittently struck me but a true, deep (and somewhat foreboding) sounding bellow of laughter that shook the creaky struts of the rocking chair that I was sitting in and echoed throughout the whole of the farm house. Apple Bloom had actually jumped back at the suddenness of it all and even looked a bit frightened, gaping at me like I had finally lost my marbles, her action repeated by the others in the room. Eventually, my raucous hysterics had quieted down and I wiped a small tear from my face and flicked it to the side.
“Yeah…no” I rebuffed the girl, who blinked in confusion.
“But why not? We could help you get yer Mana mark!” She protested.
“For more than a few reasons, the most prominent being the fact that I’m just fine without a Mana mark as I’ve told you yesterday” I continued unabated, “Secondly, I could possibly have a Mana mark in invisibility and just not know it”
“But we can see you, and is that even possible? What would a Mana mark for invisibility even look like?” Sweetie Belle piped up for the first time.
“Like this” I cast the active camouflage spell on myself, becoming all but imperceptible to the unaided eye.
Everyone in the room gasped and I could see Twilight eyeing me (or the spot that I was sitting in) with intent interest. I uncloaked myself shortly thereafter, mostly to conserve my recovering pool of magical energy. I had yet to decide if the perception filter or active camo spell was more energy exhaustive. Although it was mostly conditional, the more people staring in my direction, the more energy I had to feed into a perception filter spell; while active camo was just a small but steadily constant drain.
Scootaloo gave me her input, “That. Was. Awesome…! But not as awesome as Rainbow Dash of course” She hastily amended, though I failed to see any reason why, I drank her idol under the table last night with minimum effort on my part… freakish alcohol tolerance abilities notwithstanding.
‘I wonder if I should check up on her? It would make for a good excuse to see Fluttershy again’ I idly cogitated on, roughly shaking my head against the notion. I’d feel like I was intruding, better to stay put as I am.
“That was a very impressive spell Zenith! I could only faintly detect your presence and I had to really search for it!” Twilight commended me, though instead of making me feel accomplished, it made me scowl a bit. She shouldn’t have been able to detect me at all! I’d have to tweak the spell a bit to make sure that when I dropped off the radar, I’d stay that way.
“So you actually have a Mana mark in invisibility?” Apple Bloom inquired, furrowing her brow in indecision.
“Doubt it” I curtly answered.
“Then why won’t you join us!?” She all but shouted in vexation.
“Because thirdly and perhaps most importantly, you labeled your little clique with a very gender exclusive title. As you can clearly see, I ain’t no maiden” I gestured to myself with both hands, biting down the urge to quip how her older sister knew that for a fact, successfully restraining it before it could make its way past my teeth and potentially ruin whatever geniality I had with the buxom blonde.
She slumped down to her knees in defeat, “Oh…ah guess I’d feel pretty cut off too, if I was invited to an organization for Mana marks made up of jus’ boys” Even the bowtie on top of her red head looked deflated, I may have been terrible with kids, but I wasn’t heartless.
“Listen Apple Bloom, I might not feel inclined to join you and your friend’s quest to find out what your life’s passion is, but that doesn’t mean that I’m rejecting you or your friends in the slightest. If you ever need somebody to supervise your activities or help you come up with new (‘Preferably harmless’) ways of finding your Mana marks, feel free to call upon me” I wouldn’t normally do this, but I rubbed at her head, mussing up her hair and bowtie while I was at it. Even though she pretended to be annoyed, a muffled giggle betrayed her inner feelings.
“Stop it!” She playfully swatted away my hand, before looking at me with a hopeful expression in her amber eyes, “Ya really mean that?”
I nodded, “Word for word”
She smiled and proceeded to give me a bear hug that fully exhibited her earthen strength.
“Thank ya thank ya! No one outside of my family and AJ’s friends has ever volunteered to watch over us before!”
‘Can’t imagine why…’
“Anytime” I wheezed as the little girl nearly squeezed me to death, my airways feeling painfully restricted by this point.
“Alright Apple Bloom, ya can let go’a Zenith now. He’s startin’ to turn a lil blue” AJ chuckled at my discomfort, amused to see the boot on the other foot, so to speak.
Apple Bloom complied, releasing her iron grip on me and allowing for fresh oxygen to fill my lungs anew, which I eagerly took in with greedy gulps. The tweenager with boa constrictors for arms had the good grace to look sheepish while Twilight rolled her eyes at my hammy antics.
“Hey Zenith? Why are ya sittin’ in granny’s story tellin’ chair?” Apple Bloom randomly asked.
“I am? Nobody told me” I mentioned, wondering what brought about such an offhand question.
“Well ya are” She stated, before her eyes lit up and she gasped excitedly, “Hey! Got any stories you feel like sharin’? I keep getting’ this vibe that you’ve got a lot to share with us” If only she actually knew just how much.
I rubbed at the back of my head, “I dunno, I’m not much of a story teller. Surely your dear granny Smith is the master story weaver around here” I confessed, feeling that someone more qualified could weave the same tales I could, but do it a good sight better.
“Maybe, but then it wouldn’t be you weavin’ the story now would it?” Applejack countered with a heartfelt smile. I should’ve felt flattered, the way she seemed so sincere about it.
“I concur with AJ. Besides, I wouldn’t mind hearing whatever wisdom someone as unique as you has to impart” Twilight inserted her opinion, that agog glimmer sparkling brightly in her irises. AJ and the other two Mana mark maidens just nodded in agreement, eyes focused keenly on me. I just went with the first thing that popped into my head.
“If you insist, but save your questions and or comments until after I’m finished m’kay?” They voiced uniform assent and I shifted in my seat, mentally preparing my delivery of a story that would make them think deeply.
“This story is called the end of sadness, its an unorthodox tale that I somehow remember despite having read it long ago” I took a deep breath and began my narrative.
“There was once a very rich and powerful king who ruled in a great castle and lorded over all the fields, lakes, mountains, oceans and yes; even the very world itself, such was his influence. But alas, despite this, the King was not content with all he had. He ordered his engineers to slave day and night to create for him an army of autonomous workers, robots that could farm, fish, chop wood, and do just about all of the menial labor. This led to normal people being subsequently laid off and replaced by the worker drones that could not only work harder, but also not need to be paid. In order to feed their families, the once proud workers had to resort to begging in front of the miserly King in his grand castle” At this point I had to modify the story in order to keep out the more bloody parts, “Foreseeing the inherent superiority that his machine men held over their fleshy counterparts, the King ordered his engineers to replace his natural body parts with those of a machine, until neither flesh nor bone remained. Thus solidifying his rule, he began to encourage his subjects to take after him, slowly converting his people into metal golems just like himself. It wasn’t all that bad at first, troubles like sickness and old age became a thing of the past, soon the former humans found that they could travel temporally by switching themselves off and having a buddy switch them back on at a later date. Time dragged on and ages passed, the Earth grew old while the former humans became more prone to switching themselves off for increasingly longer periods of time. Eventually the Sun itself began to swell in its old age, engulfing the planets closest to it until it finally reached and consumed the Earth itself. However, no one was there to witness this phenomenal event or do anything about it, as everyone had switched themselves off and left no one active to switch them back on.”
I paused to gauge the reactions of my audience, all of them completely drawn in and waiting for me to tell them how it ended.
“It wasn’t a sad event…since ‘sadness’ had not been a concept for quite some time” I mutedly concluded, closing my eyes for dramatic effect.
Strangely enough, Twilight was the first to speak, “Was there supposed to be some kind of moral attached to this? Because try as I might, I just can’t see it. I might even go so far as to say that there wasn’t one” Her forehead wrinkled as she mentally reviewed the story, picking it apart methodically to ascertain the heart of my fable.
“Nonsense Twilight! Everything’s got a moral, if only you can kill f*ck find it” My eyes widened at the ghostlike tampering with my voice, where did that come from? I don’t think the impressionable young maidens heard me curse though, it all happened too fast.
I held a palm to my head and shook it, “I’m sorry, I had no idea what just twisted my words”
“Sorry ‘bout what? Ah didn’t hear anythin’ strange” AJ stated, befuddled by my actions. The lavender librarian next to her however, was staring at me strangely.
“I wanna know what the lesson of the story was!” Scoots shouted; ignoring the whole verbal slip up, she was fed up with waiting I guess.
“Opinions might differ, but I see it as a reminder that we shouldn’t go to such ends to augment ourselves, if it comes at the cost of our own humanity”
‘Wasn’t that the whole moral dilemma behind Deus Ex?’ I mentally noted, drawing comparisons between tales as I always did.
“So we shouldn’t turn ourselves inta machines?” Apple Bloom inferred, doing her best to make heads or tails of my short narration.
“No Apple Bloom, you shouldn’t go turning yourself into a cybernetic organism, it would take away from your adorable qualities. We can’t have that, now can we?” I wryly remarked, grinning at the endearing expression of bafflement on her face.
“The longer I know you Zenith, the more of a mystery you become” Twilight observed quietly, her tone perfectly equitable.
“So I’ve been told” I absentmindedly waved away her comment, “Anyhow, I think I’m going to go pay Rarity a visit” I ignored Applejack’s worried fidgeting and turned my attention to Sweetie Belle, “Is your sister still in the Carousel Boutique?”
Sweetie shrugged, “She should be, she didn’t tell me that she had any pressing plans for the day. Although she has been acting kinda strange lately, going on about something I couldn’t hear the details to. I think she just needs someone to inspire her again to create something ‘one of a kind’ as she calls it”
‘I suppose my timing couldn’t have been better’
“Splendid! Then I shall be off post haste! It’s ultimately best not to keep a lady waiting after all”
I got up from Granny’s rocking chair and bid farewell to everyone with a quick nod, winking at Applejack just for a good bit of fun. I pushed past the screen door and beyond a tail wagging Winona and set a course towards town, I decided to walk in order to keep a low profile to any Valkyrians who might have spotted me in the air and gotten suspicious of my true nature. Even with my brisk pace, it would still be a bit of a walk, so I popped in my ear buds and grooved to some Queen on the way there.
It was a lovely morning from the looks of things; the skies were cleared and warm rays from the Sun rained down and kissed my skin. I’m sure if I hadn’t cut off my auditory senses, I would have heard birds chirping joyfully without a care in the world. It was one of the few things I truly admired about this world; there was no sense of immediate urgency that day to day life back home sometimes instilled in you. Which usually caused most people to constantly be in motion instead of stopping for a few moments to appreciate the emergent beauty of nature and the feelings of serenity that it granted the soul.
I arrived in town after about ten minutes of meandering along the dirt road to see its denizens up and about, as was to be expected of the vibrant village. More than a few citizens recognized me from last night and waved or expressed their greetings in some other manner, I politely returned their acknowledgements to the best of my ability as I searched for the elusive and extremely feminine looking building. Remembering that Rarity’s place was disconnected from the more clustered thatch roofed buildings; I began probing the outskirts in search of that clearing that the Carousel Boutique was situated on. It didn’t take me too long to find it; the Boutique towered easily over the surrounding medieval tents and pseudo teepees that were right next door.
I was just about to enter the building when I stopped myself, if Rarity lived and did business here, did that mean that I should knock or just barge in there like it was a public store? I resorted to the modus operandi that I fond of in these circumstances and compromised on the fly. I chose to knock and wait a few seconds before officially announcing my presence in person. The gilded bell above the door jingled and alerted its owner that another potential customer had entered the store. Though, seeing as it was just myself occupying the first floor at the moment, I thought I’d observe my surroundings and make a weighted judgment about its appearance and set up.
Instead of seeing rows and rows of clothing racks, the ‘selling’ floor of the boutique was inexplicably vacant save for large vanity mirrors scattered around the edges of the store and surrounding a measuring stage in the center. Curtains with floral patterns embroidered on their extremities were suspended all about the circular chamber; I wisely decided to keep my opinion of their tackiness to myself, lest I upset their owner. The air was also vaguely reminiscent of a fragrant scent that I couldn’t quite pin down, like a mixture or aromatic flowers and fresh citrus but with a hint of a smoky texture to it, almost like a more feminized version of my favored Varvatos cologne. Somewhere in the background, slow paced classical music was being piped in from an unseen source.
Once I had my fill of the scenery, I leaned against a portion of the continuous wall and patiently awaited the arrival of the person I came to seek. Meanwhile, I reviewed several different ways I could respectfully confront her about her conspiring with AJ but for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out an optimal plan to satisfy both parties. Rarity could be a bit of an actress and most likely knew the subtle art of redirecting a topic with deflection. She was also a queen of melodrama, which was something I never particularly cared for or liked about her character. But like it or not, I needed this woman’s impeccable skills as a seamstress in order to craft me a badass set of robes that were both multifunctional and fashionable. Which was why I intended to butter her up with her pick of any gems I recovered from my activities last night.
The sound of low-heeled shoes clacking against the stairs notified me that the time for mulling was over. Indeed, Rarity had finally arrived to attend to her clientele. She wasn’t wearing anything terrifically flashy, instead opting for a black business skirt and white dress shirt that didn’t fail to accentuate the fair amount of cleavage she had going on. She also had a pair of those ludicrous half moon reading glasses (that deserved to stay in the fifties where they belonged) resting on the bridge of her nose. She sunk into that friendly business tone that someone always uses when they want to flatter you into buying something while she greeted me.
“A valued customer! Welcome to the Carousel Boutique where every garment is chic-” She stopped her introduction when she finally saw that it was me, “Zenith! How marvelous of you to finally take up my offer, come come”
She ushered me over to the central stand before I could so much as utter a peep. Magicking over a roll of flexible measuring tape, she proceeded to stay true to her word and began mumbling to herself as she wrapped the tape over several sections of my body, occasionally asking me to do things like lift an arm or twist in place. Despite the fact that she could have her magic do it for her, she personally went through the effort of evaluating my dimensions. It reminded me of the times that my mother used me as a reference for her own seamstressing hobby, except I was turned into a human pin cushion far too many times for my taste; turning me off to the whole ‘sewing’ thing entirely. This instance didn’t take too long however, a little over a minute I think. When she was finished, Rarity engaged me in casual conversation, though the subject she started out with was anything but.
“Sleep well Zenith? With the absurd amounts of Applejack’s inventory you partook of, I imagine that you must've slept like a babe”
“Slept fine, waking up next to AJ was a little awkward, but other than that I felt very well rested”
She gasped and held a hand to her lips in mock surprise, though it would sound real to anyone who didn’t know her mannerisms, “Why I am appalled! How scandalous it must be for a Prince to unknowingly have a tryst with one of the Element bearers no less!” She exclaimed, already she was grating on my nerves and it hadn’t even been five minutes.
“Yeah, real surprising” I deadpanned, “Especially once I found out that you had a hand in that whole sordid affair, admitted to me from the Element of Honesty herself”
“Oouh! I knew I couldn’t trust that loose lipped hayseed to keep herself composed” Rarity seethed once she knew that the secret was out.
She huffed, “Perhaps I might have had something to do with that, but it was with your best interests in mind darling!” She insisted, my expression telling her that I clearly didn’t believe it.
“Surely there’s more to it than that, just tell me Rarity, I’m not really one to judge unfairly” After a moment’s thought, her expression went from coy to dead serious.
“It’s very simple darling, I want to find out what kind of man you are” She punctuated her statement by poking me in the chest with a painted nail, “I want to see how you would react if such a situation did indeed happen, would you throw her aside like a used piece of rubbish, as was the case with all of the numerous bed warmers to a certain other Prince who’s name shall not be mentioned? Or would you be noble, and accept her with open arms despite her common bloodline, loving her as a woman deserves to be loved?” From the passionate way she was describing it, I would assume that ‘Applejack’ was being used as a placeholder for herself.
She stared me down intensely, eyeing me for the slightest traces of deceit as she awaited my answer. I did the only thing I could to get her off my back, I spoke from the heart, “The only time I would engage in a relationship with a woman is if I think she’s marriage material” I kept silent about my inherent discomfort with the idea of being married to more than one woman, “It doesn’t matter to me if she be of low hierarchical birth. Real love is unconditional; it overlooks all faults and even accepts them in most cases. If I was in love with a woman, I would cherish her in the highest and I’d make sure that she knew it too!”
Rarity beamed, satisfied with my honest answer, “I’m very glad to hear that Zenith”
“You shouldn’t lump me together with your ideal images of Princes anyway, Blueblood is a supercilious snob and Shining Armor is all strait-laced business mannered about maintaining order in the Krystal Kingdom. I’m rather anomalous as far as Royalty goes, I haven’t even been officially coroneted yet!”
“Don’t you mean coronated dearie?”
“Nope, coroneted. I would be officially recognized as a Prince of Arcania, but I wouldn’t have any kind of serious responsibilities loaded onto my shoulders. Which is understandable, since I’m still adjusting to this new lifestyle anyway” Ain’t that the truth.
“You never did tell us about your origins, did you hail from Vanclover, Shady Hollow or even the metropolis of Steelhatten?” Rarity snooped, eager to know more about me.
“Perhaps I’ll reveal more about myself when the other Elements are there to hear it, until then, you’ll just have to be placated knowing that I’m not from any of those places”
“That’s fair enough I suppose, the mystery of it all just adds to your exemplary charm” She flashed me a brilliant smile, people here must really have a good dentist to have such pearly whites. Unbidden, the image of a woman with toothpaste for hair wearing a maniacal (but sparkly) smile and brandishing a nasty looking drill while happily chirping about how overdue I was for a dual root canal popped into my head, making me shudder involuntarily.
‘Note to self, stay the hell away from the dentist. I don’t care how cute she is! You can’t trust somebody with the gall to casually engage in frivolous conversation whilst torturing you at the same time in any universe!’
“Something wrong Zenith? You looked…elsewhere for a moment” Rarity said worriedly.
“Just fine miss Rarity. Out of curiosity, dental check ups aren’t mandatory here are they?” I inquired hopefully.
“I shouldn’t think that they were, Minuette does like to pressure people into signing up for free cleanings though” The indigo haired beauty mused on the side.
‘I knew it! She’s clearly evil’
“Why do you ask?”
“So I know who I should avoid in the future”
“You don’t have an irrational fear of poor Minuette do you? All she cares about is that your smile is happy and healthy”
I cocked a brow, “Kinda wasted on me don’t you think?”
She looked shocked, “Why Zenith! Are you implying that you’re unhappy?” She stared into my soul with genuine concern reflected in her eyes.
I looked off to the side, refusing to meet her gaze any longer, “That’s a loaded question Rarity, one which I don’t even know the answer to. We’re getting off topic anyway, do you take requests?” I steered the conversation away from me, making my tone clear that there was no room for argument.
She looked like she wanted to protest against her worry being so callously dismissed, but one look at me swiftly silenced her grievance. She blew away lock of hair that had somehow broken free from her meticulously maintained coiffure and sighed in begrudging acceptance.
“Of course I do, follow me please”
I obeyed and we climbed the small set of stairs leading up to the second floor and into a hallway with multiple entrances leading into sets of smaller rooms, one of which was the kitchen area. We reached what must have been Rarity’s idea room, evidenced by the many rolls of fabrics and sewing spools that were haphazardly strewn about the floor. There were also a few clothing racks on the side with some snazzy looking dresses hanging from them.
“Never mind the mess darling, it occasionally looks like this whenever I suffer a lack of inspirational flow” Rarity excused, her hands lighting up with a bluish glow as the pigsty began to reorganize itself from a cluttered mess of organized chaos into an ordered structure of sewing supplies.
‘A certain chaos loving bureaucrat does not approve’
Once Rarity was finished, she turned to me, “Now what was it that you had in mind Zenith?”
I fished the papers detailing the robes and fragment holster out of my back pockets and unfolded them before handing it to her. She snatched the designs out of my hand and began reviewing them in earnest.
“These are certainly a welcome change of pace from that rather…casual attire of yours. These are more intricate than I would have suspected despite their unassuming simplicity, although this crude harness is a strange way to compliment such graceful robes” I modeled them after the armor of Altair, they were meant to be as tactically professional as they were sophisticated.
She hummed thoughtfully to herself as a grin began to grow across her face, “Yes, I think I shall quite enjoy putting this sui generis ensemble of yours together. Is there a specific date that you want it finished?”
“As soon as you are able to make them is good enough for me” I placidly answered, not wanting to rush the woman into anything.
“Once I’ve gathered the materials suitable enough to do such an outfit justice, I’ll start work right away…” She trailed off as she remembered something important, “Would it be terribly discommoding if I were to ask you a favor?”
“Ask and I’ll consider it” I shrugged in reply.
She bit her bottom lip as if slightly ashamed of something, “You see, Fluttershy recently informed me during our weekly get together at the spa that she was going to be out of town for a errand of sorts next week. She asked me if I might be able to housesit for her while she was away. And being the good friend I am, I agreed without making sure it didn’t conflict with my schedule, which it unfortunately does. Do you think that you might be able take my place instead?” She pleaded with a coquettish simper, using her feminine wiles to coerce me into agreeing no doubt. I would have refused based on that trickery alone, but this was Fluttershy we were talking about, so I overlooked it.
“Sure” I tersely agreed, it’s not like I had anything demanding my time after my week working with the Apples was over.
Her eyes lit up with barely contained glee, “You would!? That’s simply grand! Now I don’t have to worry about juggling my work orders and obligations to dearest Fluttershy” She hugged me, “Thank you so much darling, you have no idea how much this means!”
I rolled my eyes at her extravagant display of gratitude, “You’re welcome. Just do your best to resist ‘dazzling’ my robes, no unnecessary flair or extra additions to my original designs if they don’t serve a purpose beyond aesthetics”
She nodded, “Very well Zenith, I will abide by your wishes”
“There is the small matter of payment that we must discuss” I introduced, knowing that I was either going to get a discount or have the fee waived.
Turns out that it was going to be the latter, “Consider the inspiration that I’ll receive working with your robes payment enough, I already have over a dozen new ideas for men’s formal wear that will incorporate your outfit’s embellishments”
“How generous of you” I dryly observed.
She tittered at the flat way I expressed it, causing her sizable mammeries to jiggle in a hypnotizing way, “You could say that I’m famous for it, darling”
“That’s not the only thing that generous about you” I absentmindedly spoke out loud.
“What was that darling?” She narrowed her vision at my foolish remark.
Thinking fast, I used my magic to grab one of the dresses on the rack and looked appraisingly at its price tag, “I mean, just look at this wonderful dress! It’s fit for the pickiest Concordian noblewoman and it’s not even half as expensive, how in the world do you stay afloat?”
“Yes, well… I manage” She backed down at my explanation, once more I was thankful that my static face revealed nothing. I went for the double whammy just to be on the safe side.
“Such beneficence won’t go unrewarded, and I just so happened to notice that your stores of decorative gems are looking a little slim” I gestured to an open case on her sewing table that was only half full at best. I unlashed the bag of gems from my side and handed them over to Rarity, whose eyes widened once they beheld its contents.
“There must be dozens of priceless stones in here, Starfire emeralds, flawlessly cut tourmalines, there’s even smaller versions of the fire ruby that my precious Spikey Wikey gave to me. I couldn’t possibly accept this!” She thrust the bag back into my hands, although that spark in her eye told me that she was tempted to keep them.
I held them back out to her, calmly assuring her that it was fine, but she resisted wholeheartedly. Eventually I got fed up with it and I placed her into a cunning word trap where she’d either have to accept or bring shame to her Element.
“Lady Rarity…be generous to me, and allow me to be generous to you” It was either accept my gift, or risk hurting my poor feelings.
‘We have those?’
‘Shut up brain’
She sputtered for a response before giving me a ladylike ‘hmmph!’ and resentfully relieving me of the shinies. Despite her act, I’ve never seen someone so elated to be coerced into taking free gemstones.
“Very well, I’ll accept your gift. But I’ll have you know that it’s very unbefitting of a gentleman to bypass a lady’s sense of principle by exploiting her reputation” She thumbed her nose at me, attempting to make me feel ashamed. But apathy is practically my middle name, so needless to say that it failed miserably.
“I’ll keep that in mind, but sacrifices must be made in the name of art. And your works are nothing short of that, believe me” From the heavy blush blossoming on her cheeks, I’d say that flattery could get me anywhere with this woman.
“I believe my business here is concluded, both parties have been thoroughly satisfied, and I’ve got an entire Sunday afternoon to enjoy” I gave her a quick bow, “Fare thee well Rarity, I wish you the best in your fashion enterprising”
“Thank you for your support, don’t be a stranger though! My doors are always open” She curtsied in response.
⁂
And with that, I left Rarity’s Carousel Boutique to find something to keep me occupied, wandering aimlessly about the outskirts of town. I was just about to give up and go back to my guest room to mess around on the Internet when I spotted a most peculiar sight, out in the open graveled clearing was a string of old school arcade machines just begging to be played. It wasn’t terribly crowded either, only about half a dozen younger boys basking in the analog glory. I didn’t even know that gaming systems existed here and I was too excited to really pay the implications any mind, sprinting towards the nearest machine to read the title on the placard instead. It was some kind of knock off of the Dig Dug game titled ‘Dig Dog’ I fished out a blank bit from my munny pouch and sat my keister down on the wooden stool to begin a hardcore gaming spree, inserting the coin to hear that almost musical clinking noise.
It was pretty much a carbon copy of the actual Dig Dug game; only it portrayed an anthropomorphic dog with a shovel and a tire pump instead. I played about five levels of that until I got bored of repetitively overinflating crude two dimensional dirt monsters and quit out, moving onto the next machine that caught my eye. I found the distraction that would eat up the next two hours of my time in the form of a Galaga rip-off named ‘Aeronautica’, which pitted the eponymous wooden Skyship against waves and waves of enemy vessels. Bow chasers served as the primary attack button while a mortar blast acted as the secondary special attack. The high score was an impressive number, but I was an expert at this child’s play, blasting my way through an endless armada of enemy ships until I had reached the bonus boss level (A fortress in the sky that shot out cannonballs in a helical pattern that was challenging, but not impossible for me to weave between patterns). My fingers danced along the dashboard while I carefully maneuvered my agile vessel around hostile fire using the joystick and near faultless hand eye coordination.
I continued to hammer away at the enemy floating fortress with mortar shells that I had been using conservatively up to that point until the stubborn bulwark was sent crashing to the pixelated Earth in a burning wreck of demolished stone and woodwork. It congratulated me on getting the new high score and directed me to a names screen; I entered my actual initials into a golden slot that was just above someone named Button Mash.
“Hey! How did you demolish my high score!?” A buzzy and extremely obnoxious sounding voice demanded from behind me.
“Isn’t the answer simple? Skill” I answered without turning around, Button Mash was not one to be ignored though.
“But I spent days getting my score that high! You just show up out of nowhere and get top marks without so much as breaking a sweat!” He exclaimed with utter disbelief.
“Don’t feel bad kid, I been at this longer than you’ve been alive” It technically wasn’t bragging if it was the truth.
‘Saying that makes me feel older than I’ve a right to be though’
“You think you’re so hot? I challenge you to a console war!” He declared, only then did I turn around to face him. He was a tween, roughly the same age as the Mana mark maidens, only he was wearing a propeller hat over his brownish hair that had a visor shielding his equally brown eyes from the glare of the sun. For some reason, I kept getting an Ash Ketchum vibe from him, maybe because of his competitiveness or maybe because I kept imagining him spinning the visor around whenever he threw down.
“Well?” He said impatiently, folding his arms, “You in? Or are ya chicken?”
‘Did he just liken me to Scoots? Oh it is SO on!’
I grinned like a shark about to devour a guppy, “I’m game. What did you have in mind?”
“All these other games are alright, but I’ve got more than a few actual console games at home that I know I can whup you in!” He began walking away before slowly and dramatically turning his head, “Follow me… if you dare”
I resisted the urge to face palm at how utterly ridiculous he was acting, but accompanied him anyway. Several times he looked like he wanted to engage in casual discourse (mostly likely about video games) but promptly reminded himself out loud that I was a rival and nothing more.
‘If he so much as thinks of calling me Gary, Ima strangle a kid’
I began to whistle-hum the mortal combat theme song to get my mind off of my more violent thoughts as we walked through the center of town towards one of the many ‘fachwerk’ style thatched roofed homes that made of the majority of buildings in Magiville. Thinking in the mean time about how hard Button Mash was about to get Pwned underscore banana’d by the Arcade sensei himself.
Button swung open the door to his home and loudly announced his presence, “Mom, I’m back early!”
A voice sweeter than honey called back, “That’s wonderful my little cuddle-button!”
“Mom! Not in front of my rival!” Cuddle-button whined, cheeks flush with embarrassment.
“I went through the same deal kid, let mom’s keep their affectionate pet names, it makes them happy” I contributed, feeling a slight twinge at how close all this hit to home.
“But I’m not a little kid anymore! I’m a big boy!” He pouted, scuffing his shoe against the wooden flooring.
‘Another family that wears shoes in the house? Is that the common trend around here?’ I groused, this was one of the few nitpicks that bothered me, not only was it unclean, but my sweltering feet have been screaming for the feel of fresh carpeting for some time now.
“A rival you say? Is it that cute girl from your class?” Button’s mom, prodded at her son from a distance, knowing the flustered reaction it would elicit.
“Wha…NO! Just the guy who trampled all over my high score in Aeronautica!”
I half expected her to reprimand her son for bringing a complete stranger home, but Button’s mom was very inviting, “Well come to the kitchen then, introduce me to this rival of yours!” It never ceased to astound me just how trusting people in this land were.
“But I want to thrash him in Bronco busters three nooooow!” He complained, drawing out the last word like a juvenile.
“I baked fresh cookies!” She proffered, the tone in her voice was assured; clearly this was Button’s kryptonite.
I wasn’t mistaken, “Really!? C’mon, mom’s cookies are the best!”
He grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me through the hallway and into the kitchen. Standing bent over the open oven and pulling out a tray of the crumbly confections with an old fashioned pair of mitts was undoubtedly the most striking middle age woman I had ever seen. She was wearing her hair in a wound down ponytail that was oddly fitting for the foxy housewife, she smiled graciously at our arrival as Button let go of my arm and made straight for the platter of cookies on the round dining table.
“Hello, you’re more… mature than most friends Button brings over to play with, but that’s fine. Help yourself to some cookies! I made a set of gluten free oatmeal squares in case you’re the health minded type” She wavered the tray she was carrying for emphasis.
‘Gluten free Oatmeal? Are you crazy!?’
“That’s quite alright, I’m watching my sweets intake in anticipation for my inevitable sugar session spent with Pinkie Pie” It was a bit bold of me to be making predictions, but the chances were quite likely that I’d be spending time with the hot pink party girl eventually.
“You know Pinkie? She threw us the most wonderful house warming party when we first moved here” She merrily reminisced.
“I’m pretty sure that living here and Pinkie Pie throwing you a party are compulsory, and who doesn’t?” I chuckled, watching Button messily stuff his face with mouthfuls of chocolate chip. His mother gently chided him for his uncivilized table manners, especially in front of guests. She removed her mitts and revealed her Mana mark, which consisted of a light pink Valentine heart next to a half filled bottle of baby formula.
She offered me a dainty hand, which I shook softly, “My name’s Tender Love, may I ask yours?”
“Call me Zenith, I’m a relatively recent addition to this fair town. Can’t help but notice what a cozy home it is you’ve cultivated here” I dispensed with the pleasantries.
“Well thank you! I do my best to make sure that all three of my boys can look forward to coming back to a comfortable abode” A family photo hanging on the refrigerator revealed that her three boys were her husband and two sons, meaning that this was one of those atypical nuclear families.
Button moaned in contentment as he finished scarfing down his fill of the cookies, “Oh man…that hit the spot, you just have to try one! Then we can get straight to the gaming!”
“If you insist” I plucked a tasty morsel from the fruits of Tender Love’s labor and was about to pop it in my mouth when she interrupted.
“Could I get you a refreshment to wash that down with?” She politely offered.
“Sure, I’d like a glass of Milf… I mean milk please!” I hastily corrected myself, mentally slapping myself for such a monumental slip up. To my endless relief, that acronym didn’t seem to exist here, because my dirty faux pas went unnoticed by the hot mom who was currently pouring me a drink.
‘Straight from the tap would be exquisite’ My prurient side added.
‘Really brain? No….just…no’
The cookie was adequate as far as flavor went, but I could tell that the main ingredient was the love of a caring mom. I probably would have a few sentimental tears rolling down my face right then if it weren’t for my airtight mental conditioning. Once I finished my snack, Button began nudging me up the stairs and towards what I assumed to be his room. Button’s room was furnished with shelves and bookcases containing what looked like rows of strategy guides, a medium sized vanity mirror, and a gaming system with a television sized screen placed atop a set of drawers. Button immediately switched it on and put on his best game face (no pun intended) as he grabbed a pair of square controllers that were the splitting image of the NES ones (save for the dual bumpers on the front).
“You ready to get your clock cleaned? Cause nobody can get the better of me in Bronco busters three!”
“What’s the objective here?” I asked, ignoring his bluster.
He didn’t grace me with an applicable answer, “Don’t go noob on me now!”
“Humor me”
He groaned, “The goal of the game is tame a wild Stallion by timing your button presses correctly, you miss so much as one cue and you get bucked off. Whoever holds on the longest wins!” He explained.
“Okay, you go first then” He obliged me with a cocksure grin.
The round started off with a pixelated cowboy sneaking up on a grazing Stallion before mounting him, a series of directional arrows and letters appearing on the screen that Button rapidly Mashed (pun very much intended) while holding his controller sideways. Don’t know why he bothered though, it’s not like it was a legitimate technique. Eventually Button missed a tricky looking combination and was tossed off, earning a time of a minute and a half.
“Ha! Beat that” He slid the second controller towards me.
I was about to teach this kid a lesson in humility and knock him off his high horse (pun also intended), casting the muscle memory spell on myself when Button wasn’t watching just to be certain. My character approached a midnight black Stallion that made Button chuckle menacingly for some reason. I put myself on high alert; this was beginning to look like a mini boss stage. As soon as I mounted the horse, a flurry of directions were prompted on the screen, my fingers moved automatically as the spell did its work.
Despite how well I was doing, Button kept that smarmy looking grin stuck on his face, warning me to keep my guard up. Just as I was about to reach the minute and fifteen seconds mark, I was unexpectedly told to hold the controller sideways and shake it, I reacted accordingly and my character finally managed to tire the Stallion, which sunk down to its haunches in exhaustion. I received a bonus time of thirty seconds for breaking in the steed, putting myself ahead of Button by a full fifteen seconds.
“Whaaat!? How did you see that coming? All of my other friends always get tripped up by that”
“It’s all in the reflexes kid” I explained with a smirk, my nickname for him only agitating him further.
He pouted, visibly upset “Grr! Next game now!” He swapped out the cartridge and inserted another one, when nothing happened; he pulled it out and blew into the grooves before reinsertion, this time the system worked and we were directed to the screen of ‘Fighting Frogs’ which I’m guessing was this world’s version of Battletoads.
‘God, this is like a trip down memory lane for me’ The sense of nostalgia was exceptionally thick this Sunday afternoon.
This game was no slouch; I nearly bought the farm during the violent and unpredictably random stage of the barrage burrow. I gave helpful hints when it was Button’s turn to get his pixel ass handed to him, which he actually seemed to appreciate, ‘ohing’ and ‘awing’ when he finally figured out the proper technique and surpassed his own previous scores.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask” He said as he kept his eyes glued to the screen, “What’s a Milf?”
I blinked, not prepared for the sudden age contextual question, “Have somebody explain it to you when you’re like, five years older. Because that is a can of worms that I do not want to open”
He blew out a frustrated puff of air, “That’s basically what my parents told me after I caught them wrestling together that one day I came back from school early”
‘Wow…awkward’
“I did manage to swipe this magnificent mustache that my dad dropped while they were washing up in the bathroom though” He reached into his short’s pocket and put on the attachable mustache, grinning at me to see my reaction.
‘Button’s dad owns an adhesive porn stache?’ I stopped myself before I could think about the implications any further, even if they starred Tender Love.
“That’s uhm…neat. Don’t let your mom catch you wearing that okay?” I cautiously forewarned him, he stared confusedly at me before shrugging noncommittally.
After another five uncannily familiar games (I clandestinely threw a couple games so I wouldn’t upset the uppity tween too much) and a realization that we had reached a total stalemate in our little competition, it was decided that the contest was a draw. Button dramatically conceded that I was a worthy opponent and pleaded for my aid in co-oping an incredibly difficult game that reminded me of a cross between Ghosts and Goblins and Contra named ‘Doom Lords’. Button went with the roguish archer and I selected the winged mage for obvious reasons. It took quite a few lives and another hour of grinding through the stages, but we managed to defeat the aptly named Doom Lords using a mysterious spell that my character discovered called ‘Konami’s ascension’. Utilizing the spell transformed my character and Button’s into beings of pure light that had all stats multiplied by ten, allowing us to soundly trounce the once fearsome bosses in an Epic clash of good and evil.
“Heck yeah! I’ve been trying to beat this game for ages!” He turned to me with glassy eyes that threatened to shed tears of happiness (although the porn stache kind of ruined the mood), “And I couldn’t have done it without you”
He hugged me, the sudden physical closeness giving me a start, “You can be my P2 anytime”
I hesitantly returned the little guy’s embrace, awkwardly patting him on the back since I was wholly unaccustomed to these situations. By now, Celestia’s Sun was beginning to set on the peaceful town of Magiville in order to make room in the sky for Luna’s namesake, I had no intention of staying here any longer than I had to and I let Button know as much. He protested at first but gradually relented once I informed him that I had a long week of travailing ahead of me at Sweet Apple Acres. I stealthily made my way down the stairs and past Button’s older brother and father, who were both enjoying their dinner alongside Tender Love in the kitchen. I presumed that they would figure I was a busy guy and couldn’t stick around for more long winded introductions. If not, well, it wasn’t like I was going to be visiting this family again for the foreseeable future.
⁂
I lightly shut the door behind me and was about to get airborne when I remember that people were still up and about, the chances of me being spotted by one of last night’s partygoers with my wings out was too great of a risk to take. So I had to make the rest of my way back to the farm on foot, trudging angrily through town, it took me a few minutes to realize that I had no idea which direction was which. This small problem left me stranded in the town until I could properly get my bearings, there was no way I was going to ask for directions again after yesterday’s tiny episode with the fearful flower trio.
All my aimless wandering did allow me to see a remarkably well cleaned up Gizmo proudly escorting his rather unenthusiastic looking date in the direction of what I assumed was the ‘Three Leaf Clover’ restaurant that he heard good things about. Even though I didn’t really care for his date much, I wished both of them the best, keeping to the background as to not disturb them. I was about to rage quit with my current course of action and just teleport to the edges of town so I could grab some air when I felt the faintest pulse of a repetitive beat, vexation was replaced by inquisitiveness and I followed my ears until the faint beat became more of a steady thumping rumble that only increased my interest.
I turned a corner around a set of shops with closed signs hung over their windows and came across a slightly larger building that was about thrice the size of the usual residences. I spotted the occasional flock of people giggling and chattering excitedly amongst themselves as they pushed their way past the large entry doors of ‘The Asphodel fields’, the muffled sounds briefly being heard full blast for a small moment as the entryway doors quickly closed again. I knew that if I entered this building, I was bound to burn even more hours until it was well into the night. I shrugged to myself and essentially Yolo’ed it, making my humble entrance into the nightclub.
Unsurprisingly, the first thing to grace my senses was a pounding bass that was so deep that I felt it in my bones. There was no entrance lobby or anything as roundabout as that, as soon as one passed through those doors, they were just another soul looking to get lost in the music of the Asphodel fields. It was a fairly standard setup, there was a large dance floor in the middle that was occupied by dozens of people, leather sofas and booths with tabletops lined the edges and there was bar on the right hand side serving up drinks to anyone looking to add a little inebriated fun to their evening. The decorations were pretty unique though; a field of the titular Asphodels grew out from the ceiling and illuminated everything with the blue white neon glow of their stamens. Long, raindrop shaped multicolored lamps lit up anything that the oddly bioluminescent flowers couldn’t. Above the strangely vacant DJ’s setup were spotlights that moved in sync with the music, which was a tasteful blend of electronic and straight up dub-step.
Tempted as I was to bust a move on the floor, it was a bit too crowded for my tastes. So after an hour or three of standing on the sidelines people watching and appreciating the music, I decided to take a seat at the relatively unoccupied bar and pester the barkeep for a glass of diet water; he just gave me a blank stare for a full ten seconds and went back to cleaning some mugs with a cloth. I muttered something to myself about the lousy service when I felt the unmistakable presence of someone grabbing a stool next to me. I didn’t pay it any mind at first, but I knew that the person sitting next to me was observing me. I wanted to ask them what it was they wanted, but the surrounding noise would be too loud for my words to be heard anyway. As if reading my thoughts however, I felt a magical bubble encapsulate us and the loudness of the music was dimmed to a low thrumming.
“So pretty boy…do you like it fast, or slow?” A familiar tomboyish voice suggestively asked of me, I glanced to the side to see the one and only Vinyl Scratch leaning forward so far that her backside was fully exposed, revealing the crimson color of the thong she was wearing. It did compliment her breathtakingly gorgeous eyes though, which were gazing upon me with vague amusement.
I played it cool, rolling my neck to elicit a few crackling pops, “Make’s no difference to me, as long as it’s enjoyable and has a steady rhythm” I really wished that the bartender had given me a drink, cause then I could have taken a swig and upped my classy charm by five.
Vinyl didn’t seem to mind though, letting out a hearty chuckle, “So what brings Magiville’s latest arrival to my crib?” She made a motion to the barkeep, who slid her a cocktail served up in a fancy looking glass. He also had the good grace to toss me one too, I couldn’t really do much with it, but it was the thought that counts.
“The siren sound of a bass being dropped, you live here?”
“You bet I do, innovating new tunes by day and raving it up by night” She sighed contently, “I wouldn’t have it any other way”
“Sounds like the life” I appraisingly nodded, “Why talk to me though? I’m just another face in the crowd in the grand scheme of things” That wasn’t entirely true, but she didn’t need to know that.
She swayed in her seat to an invisible beat only she could hear as she mulled it over, “A few reasons, because I’m curious about the music you have on that showy device of yours, because you looked all mopey and sad sitting here by your lonesome, and partly because I haven’t spoken to another redeye in forever!” She grinned at me.
“Huh, well for the most part, I feel flattered” I said as I sipped at my drink, “How come you’re leaving your equipment unattended? Is it set on an automatic playlist or something?” I looked over my shoulder and past the capering crowds to confirm that it was indeed still empty.
“Nope, I have it set to the natural frequency of my magic. I’m technically mixing it up right now” To illustrate her point, her hands glowed and the fast paced track melded into a new more mellow one.
“Impressive, to say the least” I complimented, doing my best to feign being actually impressed.
“Yeah, I’m awesome like that” She leaned back in her seat and put both hands on the back of her head.
“Since when did Rainbow Dash dye her hair electric blue and get herself a pair of purple shades?” I jested, finishing off the last of my drink.
“Please, that airhead is way too full of herself to have the distinction of being awesome exclusively to herself”
“You go girl! I was beginning to think she had some kind of bombastic monopoly” I dryly commented as I levitated the empty glass over to the barkeep.
“So about that device of yours…” She trailed off, a type of hunger not at all dissimilar to Twilight’s gleaming in her ruby eyes.
“The one in my pocket? The kind that has hundreds of tracks inside that might as well have been tailored specifically with you in mind? What about it?”
She groaned and put her face in her hands, “You’re not going to make me beg are you? Is that your kink? Putting hard working girls like me down on their knees and completely at your mercy?” She looked back up with an incorrigible smile, “Because I would totally do that if it meant an hour alone with that music player”
I opted for trading risqué insinuations with her, “Nah, my kinks involve transparent Sarong skirts and a shit ton of strawberry jelly” I let her keep her horrified expression before deadpanning, “That was a joke”
She held her hands up in mock surrender, “I’m not one to judge! So you’ll really let me borrow that device of yours?”
I fished out my IPod from my pocket and tentatively handed it over to her, pulling back just as she was about to grab it, “This is one of the few reminders of home that I possess, treat it with the utmost care. Or I will be most…displeased” I finally let her have it.
She energetically shook her head, “Gotcha, I’ll take care of it like it was my own two babies right over there!” I didn’t bother looking; I knew she was talking about her prized stereo system.
“Speaking of which, what kind of output do they have?” I asked, curious about her bass cannons.
She dismissively wagged a hand, “I won’t bore you with the specifics, and I’d say the results speak for themselves anyway”
“They powerful enough to blow a woman’s clothes off?” I cocked a brow.
“What?” She responded blankly.
“Never mind, that’s an Italian job reference” I supposed she deserved to also hear about a certain cellist, “You know, it’s funny, Octavia shared a similar kind of enthusiasm for my ITunes classical list” I mentioned off hand.
Her eyes widened and she grabbed and rocked me rather vigorously for a Stellar Mage, “You know Octy!? Why didn’t you tell me!?” She demanded, gradually letting me go after a few seconds of shaking.
I shook my head to clear it of the fuzzies, “You didn’t ask”
“Oh man, I haven’t heard from her in ages! What’s she been up to all these years?” From the sound of it, Vinyl really missed her old academy roommate.
‘Probably avoiding you and your Kung Fu grip of death’ I cynically mused.
“Not much, she has a decent position in the Royal Orchestra and occasionally moonlights at a jazz club filled with ostentatious rich people” I glanced at a clock suspended above the bar and noticed that it was getting pretty late.
“I’ve got an early start to look forward to in the morning, so I need to go. I guess I’ll see you around Vinny. Start off your musical reviewing with Deadmaus, you won’t regret it!” She seemed disheartened by my departure, wanting to know more about Octavia, but amicably saw me off with a friendly wave.
Not much to say after that, it was finally dark enough that I could sneak myself into the air and using the city of Concordia hanging off the mountain in the distance as a reference point for North. From there I made a southwest heading towards the Farm and just in time for a late supper with the Apple family. Little Apple Bloom asked me about my day after telling me about all the activities they tried (under Applejack’s strict supervision) to earn their evasive Mana marks. I shrugged, and told her that as far as most restful Sunday’s went, it was fairly fulfilling. Big Red actually thanked me for the advice I gave him this morning about using water to flush away most of the hangover headache. Applejack had finally gotten over whatever skittishness she had around me; only to happily list off all the things I would be ‘assisting’ with for that week. From the dastardly smile on her face, I’d say that she personally wrote what was beginning to sound more and more like the chore checklist from hell.
I sighed…looks like it was going to be a long week.
