//------------------------------// // Birthday [Rewritten] // Story: Silas Epista // by Maneiac //------------------------------// “What!?” I slapped a claw against my face as Sunset continued her lazing on the couch, face engrossed in this shoddy piece of literature called ‘The Heart of a Mare’ as floated a chip into her mouth every so often. “What do you mean, I don’t want to do anything!? It’s your birthday!” “Meh,” Sunset groused, sinking further into the couch while pushing her face further into the book. I frowned from my vantage point betwixt her cabinets and stove, staring at the mare like I just watched her kill a bag of puppies with a rusted spatula. “It’s just a day on a calendar, nothing more, nothing less. Drop it, please.” I sucked my teeth and leaned back, relieving my neck of the accursed heat radiating from the skillet that was currently cooking haybacon strips. The weird part was that this pseudo-bacon shit actually smelled like real bacon, even though it was made of useless pieces of inedible... plants. Still, it is her birthday, and I promised that cooking for her all day will be her present from me. It’s not like I have money or something to go out and buy her a real present with. This is pretty much the only thing I can think of at the moment. “Four days in and I’m cooking for a beautiful woman inside her home. Heheh, Ol’ Sam must be turning in his grave for thinking I was going to die alone. He’s good peoples, just a little too honest for his own good, my Old Man. Hope you’re resting easy, Ol’ Sam.” I sighed to myself and removed the haybacon from the skillet with a spatula, sliding them onto a white plate and down the counter so I could continue cooking without obstruction. I cracked two eggs and let them plop into the skillet with a hiss, making me frown at the implications this just revealed to me. “I guess this means ponies eat meat here? I’m not going to question it; next time I see a deer or something, that thing’s going to turn into jerky before sunset!... heheh, before Sunset...” “What’s so funny, Silas?” I nearly jumped out of my scales as I snapped my head to face Sunset Shimmer, who had somehow gotten right next to me during my inner monologue. “You were chuckling up a storm over here,” Sunset stated, leering up at me with analytical eyes as I avoided contact with her’s. “Stop that. Look me in the eye when I address you, please.” “You have to tell her; as a man of your word, that you are contractually obligated by yourself to uphold every shred of truth! We do not sugarcoat shit, Justin Richards! Open your mouth and say something!” My mind was yelling at me something awful, and I knew there was no hope in defiance. I was going to say something whether I wanted to or not. “Say something!” “You’re beautiful!” My voice and body was filled with so much confidence that I didn’t notice what I had said until five seconds later. If my eyes widened any further, they would’ve taken on the ridiculous size of Sunset’s. We just stood there, looking at each other like slack-jawed scarecrows. “Ahhhhh! What the fuck, brain! Shit! She wasn’t supposed to hear that! SHE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HEAR THAT!” I continued to look at the flabbergasted face of Sunset Shimmer, whose mouth was doing a better job at mopping the floor than a Swiffer Wetjet. Of course, she wasn’t actually cleaning the floor; her mouth was just hanging open very low. She continued to stare at me, and in a flash; motion returned to her face. “... Where did THAT come from, you idiot!?” I was zapped in the leg by a blue bolt of magical lightning, making me yipe and pull that leg up. Someone could make the connection that I was doing some sort of idiotic dance as Sunset kept zapping me, alternating the strikes between my legs. “Ow! OW! Stop it, Sunset! Damn!” I continued my onslaught of profanity, and tried my damndest to watch her breakfast most of all. I didn’t want my hard work to be soiled by a mare’s tantrum. “I have your- OW- eggs in this skillet, Sunset! Stop shooting me already! Damn it all!” “Shut up! You don’t just say stupid stuff like that out of nowhere, idiot! I hope you fry pretty good!” She zapped me a couple more times before I rolled my eyes and grabbed her horn with my claw. Her face paled and seemed to magnify itself a hundred fold when my appendage made contact with her’s, and she began looking at me with wide eyes that pleaded for me to let go. “Oh no... please let go! Don’t move; just let go...” Sunset closed her eyes and started to breathe really hard. I was beginning to worry about her, based on the near guttural breaths she was taking to steady herself. “Just... release... the sensitive horn...” I raised my eyebrow at that. “Sensitive? How can an appendage made entirely of what feels like bone be sensitive? You just want to zap me again, right,” I asked with a smug tone to my voice, figuring out her deception long before I had a chance to fall for it. “Well think again, Shimms’!” “S-Shimms!? Who said you c-could give me such a nickname, you idio- SHIT! I said don’t move your claw!” Sunset started to shake very bad, almost to the point of looking like she was going to collapse at any minute. Her teeth kept gnashing in what looked like- I retracted my claw quicker than the crack of a whip, my own eyes widening as the realization of hurting her dawned on me. “Oh... Oh shit. Sunset, I’m sorry!” Our eyes locked again; hers holding an eerie mix between cold anger and disappointment, while mine were in shock at what I had just discovered. Smiling apprehensively, I scratched the side of my face in nervousness. “You’re an asshole...” “Hey!” I poked her on the forehead. “At least I apologized!” And I never saw the blast of magic that knocked me out...   “I say we gut him and be done with it, boys.” “You’re gonna have to get past me to do that, idiot.” “WHAT WAS THAT!?” “Cut the chatter, ladies; he’s coming through.” I fluttered my eyes open and stared into the abyss of darkness that was the ceiling of my Station. Groaning while massaging the pain in my head away with a claw, I slowly sat up with a hiss and took a look around. “If that mare truly robbed you of your consciousness, then maybe that flame in your Gem is a mistake. You shouldn’t have beaten Silas.” That voice was stuffy as hell, reminding me of some cheap noble NPC from an RPG. Since it didn’t sound like Silas, I turned to face it. Once again, it was another me, but with dark-blue mane and green scales. He had on the same shit, but all of it was black. Everything. “How long are you going to sit down for, plebeian? Stand in the presence of royalty!” “Now what the hell are you supposed to represent? I swear, if this is about that one time I stumbled across the MxM section on U18chan, I’m going to be fucking hosed.” Frowning deeply after that stray line of thinking, I stood up and dusted myself off. “I don’t think royalty would be wearing such attire; and watch how you fucking talk to me, Lord Dickbritches. I treat you with respect, you treat me with respect.” A snooty snarl caught my attention as I looked back at him. He was grinding his teeth together in fury, his dark-blue eyes alight with a passion for bloodshed as he lowered his hand down towards the pistols in his holsters. “Sylvan, that’s enough,” The voice of Silas boomed, causing the green Draconian’s claw to flinch right above the grip. Turning my head to the far left, Silas strode up with his claws in his pockets; a sly smile on his face. “Our past lives hold no meaning here, brat. You’d do well to remember that seniority, however, still does. Am I clear?” “You’re only delaying the inevitable! We both know that Justin is ill-fated to hold his Emotions off for much longer! Why prolong it!?” Sylvan jabbed a finger into Silas’s chest, giving a cocky grin of his own. “Maybe you’re scared of him, but I’m not! I’m not scared of anything; my background as a warrior demands it be that way!” Silas pursed his lips together and nodded like he got the picture. He turned his gaze upon me and nodded again, which I returned with a shrug of my shoulders. Apparently, that was Draconian for, “Tear off his neck and arm.” Because that’s what happened... quickly. Like, so quick, my eyes had a better chance of spontaneously combusting than following Silas’s attack pattern. It was over in milliseconds; the bleeding-out body of Sylvan resting on the ground as Silas spit out a piece of the Draconian’s trachea. “You’re lucky our souls were converted into Emotions, fucker. Or maybe not, since I’m thinking about killing you this way a thousand more times so you’ll learn your place.” Silas kicked the already-down Sylvan in the stomach, causing new wave of blood to surge from the bleeding orifice in Sylvan’s neck. His dark-blue eyes rolled up, he frothed at the mouth, and then went silent. Silas sucked his teeth and spat on his corpse, before turning his attention back to me. “To think you repelled a pack of wolves without getting violent speaks volumes about your character, Justin Richards. There was a time I held the same ideals you did, not wanting to resort to violence unless proven absolutely necessary,” Silas suddenly yelled, kicking Sylvan’s body off the Station proper. I heard it whistle all the way down due to the hole in his neck. “So, you passed out again, huh? You’re really hurting my win-loss record, buddy,” Silas said happily as he pressed a claw onto my shoulder. “I’ll choke you with your trachea if it keeps happening, alright?” He tilted his head to the side and kept smiling. I shrugged and removed his claw. “Noted. Now would you mind telling me what all that was about?” Silas opened his eyes and followed my finger as I pointed it at where Sylvan just went sailing. “Ah,” he comprehended. “You’re a smart cookie. Now that you know the Four Dragons represent the emotions you kept under lock and key, guessing the identity of them shouldn’t be that hard. You really can’t figure out what Sylvan is-” “Pride,” I interrupted sharply. “I hate that emotion with a passion. Having a little bit of it is swell, but when it gets to that extent,” I emphasized, jabbing in the direction of Sylvan’s flight trajectory. “That’s when people need to reevaluate themselves.” Silas shrugged his shoulders and turned around, walking towards a female Draconian with a crimson mane and eyes that looked like me. She just had, you know, knockers and lashes. “Well, then I guess Ravenblood here should have identified something by the way she was yelling earlier, but maybe you missed it? Nah, you couldn’t have. She’s a screamer too, by the way.” “Jesus...” I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed deeply, trying to eradicate the vision of Ravenblood screaming her ass off... because she fucking looks like me. “Can everything stop being so fucking perverted, please? First it’s comment about larger objects going into mouths, now this? God, if this is how things are going to play out from now on, you might as well kill me here...” “Kill!?” Ravenblood was suddenly at my neck with a red kris dagger, smiling at me like a nazi would a jewish district. “I’d be happy to take your life! Why didn’t you just say so!?” “Raven, cut the shit,” Silas snapped, grabbing her by the red jacket she had on and yoking her feral-ass backwards. “Looks like you’re going to need another good pounding before you make contact with him again...” Silas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as Ravenblood whimpered like a dog. He tossed her over his shoulder like she was nothing. “What the fuck is going on... and she better not represent my Wrath.” I sighed my damn self and crossed my arms. “That’s the same face I made when Bolas assigned her as Wrath. I don’t even have to ask you if you figured it out, huh?” I shook my head with a sad chuckle. “Right, so when are you gonna wake up?” Silas tilted his head with a frown, tapping his foot all the while. “You’ve been asleep for damn near three hours.” I felt woozy. Stumbling to the left, I barely had enough time to outstretch my claws to catch myself from face-planting. “What... what’s going on...” “Ah, you’re waking up finally. Damn, and here I thought you could learn about the-” Silas’s voice scratched off into gibberish as a fierce ringing began in my ears. “Keep... Silas... me... Z...” “...What,” I droned woozily, the mural of my Station becoming a blended haze of colors. “I don’t... I don’t... underst-” I dropped like a fuckton of skyscrapers. My face never felt so comfortable against glass before. “Hearth’s Fire... ah, fuck it.” Silas gave up trying to speak with me as I finally passed out. “Ugh... my fucking heaaaadddd...” I whined, sitting up on the couch. “Ow! It hurts to think! Ugh...” Grumbling to myself, I gently got off the sofa and made my way into the kitchen. Reaching the fridge, I opened the top compartment and pulled out an ice pack, laying it on my sore left temple with a hiss to accompany it. “Damn it... she didn’t have to blast me like that...” “Actually, I did.” “WAAAH!” I turned around and fixed Sunset with a steely glare as she sipped from her levitating coffee mug. Of course, I was intimidated more than I was scared. “Why do you always sneak up on me, woman!? It wasn’t enough that you nearly took my entire he- OW... ow... ow...” My rant trailed off into other words expressing pain as Sunset finished whatever was in her mug with a contented sigh. “Crude actions like the one you made earlier deserve punishment, Silas. I was merely doing my duty as a mare.” She turned her nose up and walked the mug over to the sink and began washing it. ‘And while you may have apologized, I wouldn’t put it past you to do that again. Right?” “She’s pretty good; figuring me out like that. However; two can play at this game!” Frowning, I put a claw onto my chest and feigned a swoon. “Oh no! I have been found out! The always confident and self-respected Sunset Shimmer has finally cracked the complex algorithm that is Silas Epista; that. is. Meee~!” I fell back onto the counter, making sure to cause a large amount of noise to disrupt her. “Ah!” She turned quickly, fixing me with a steely glare of her own. “You’re an asshole, you know that?” “Let’s not talk about the things you like, ‘kay Shimmy’?” I pulled off the Fonz, pointing both my index fingers at her like they were barrels to a gun. She jerked her head back. “I- wha-.... No,” Sunset declared with an exasperated shake of her head. “I’m not falling for this, Silas. And for that matter,” She declared with more force, bringing her irritated eyes upon mine. “Weren’t you the one that wanted my birthday to be fun and stress-free? You’re doing a wonderful job, by the way; douche.” Rolling her eyes again, Sunset Shimmer went back to washing the dishes. I frowned when my bait tactic blew up in my face. “Ugh, does she have to be so smart? Well, I still have plan B... hehehe...” I kept my chuckles silent like my steps as I advanced on Sunset. Once I was close enough, I wrapped her up in a huge hug and swept her off the ground. “AHHH! What in Equestria’s name are you doing, you idiot!? Put me down NOW!” I kept spinning in a rapid circle, ignoring her cries for release while laughing. “Aw, come on! Isn’t this fun, Sunset!? You’re having fun now!” “NOOOO I’MMMMMMM NOOOOOTT,” Sunset yelled, making laugh harder and spin faster. “PUT ME DOOOOWWWNNN! I’m gonna... I’m...” I stopped spinning as I felt something warm hit me on the feet and pants. Sunset groaned once and hung her head as her green bile showcased itself for all to see. I can’t handle vomit; it’s disgusting and absolutely painful to eject from one’s system. So naturally, I promptly turned and ran to the bathroom with one arm around Sunset’s midsection and a claw over my now puffed out cheeks. With my giant size, it didn’t take long to enter the bathroom and shut the door behind us. I dropped Sunset Shimmer on the bathroom rug and ran to the toilet, nearly ripping the damn thing off its bolts as I slammed both lids open and deposited my greens at the bank. If you ever find yourself in a dragon body.... never. Fucking. Throw up! It is the single most painful, most unbearable thing for a dragon to do. Everything was hotter; like someone was dragging heated metal along the inside of my esophagus. I cried a little too from the stinging sensation, but the tears were knocked off into the toilet water by the lids slamming back down on top of my head. I frowned as I panted. “Honestly? It wasn’t enough to just have a pony barf on me? Screw you, universe.” Even though I was angry now, the seat covers were cold against my head an offered me comfort. “You’re so dead...” I froze up, not wanting to turn around. “I’m going to pull you inside out, douse you with lemon juice, and turn you rightside in...” Sunset’s voice carried no ounce of playfulness. I felt myself tear up again, but this time, it wasn’t from gaking all over her toilet. “Now hold still; I need to make sure you’re alive for this.” “Wait!” I turned around quickly, and nearly shot my eyes out as projectiles as my mouth slammed onto Sunset’s. “I’m... I’m going to die... She’s going to find my penis, cut it off, and play fetch with a wild bear.” We stared at each other, our lips still locked. Sunset’s eyes were narrowed down into little slits that made my scales crawl. Even so; our lips did not separate. “Ehhhhhhh~!? If she’s that mad at me, why isn’t she murdering me right now!? What’s going on here!? I’m ready, Sunset; kill me! DO IT, FILLY... why the fuck did I just say that? AND WHY THE FUCK AM I STILL KISSING HER!?”      I didn’t have the will to disconnect my eyes from hers. There was nothing for it, then. I was going to die by her horn while looking at he-... “Oh gods.... what is my tongue brushing against right no-.... NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!” I felt nauseous as my tongue prodded against a recently-upchucked piece of haybacon strip on the side of her mouth. It was like putting your tongue on a warm piece of sticky cotton. My first reaction? You guessed right. I fucking turned around and got rid of my pelvis. As I emptied my food tanks, Sunset had no trouble in making herself known next to my ear. “SO YOU THINK KISSING ME WARRANTS ANOTHER THROW-UP SESSION!?” I thanked whatever deity was watching over me at that point in time as I finished upchucking and turned to face Sunset. “Wait; hold on! Uh... let’s be friends,” I tried, mentally stumbling over myself as Sunset’s glare worsened more. “Eh!? Ah, uh.... I ... you see... my tongue brushed... or should I say slid?... uh... well you see; my- uh - tongue slid up against some of your bile, you see... and!” I held my finger up like I was going to finish my thought, but gave up and hung my head while slapping both my claws on it. “Just... just forget about it. Do your worst, then. I feel like an asshole...” I slowly swung my head back and forth. “I mean, look at you! This is your birthday, for Christ’s sake! Not only are you the first friend that I’ve made, but I’ve singlehandedly stressed you out more on this day than any birthday you might’ve had; and it’s still daytime! You don’t deserve a rotten guy like me, Sunset... Gah, I’m such a fuck-up!” I turned around, shut her toilet seat lids, and slammed my head face first on them; surrendering my vision to the darkness behind my eyelids. I gave a heavy sigh, really meaning everything I said to her. “Here she is, in this small-ass bathroom with me after that whole puking episode. Who the hell pukes on their birthday when alcohol’s not involved!? I’m right... she doesn’t deserve someone like me hanging around her. I should just leave.” I made to get up, but I felt something on my shoulder. Turning my head to inspect it, the gold hoof seemed to beg for me to stay where I was... so I did. “Oh~ no,” Sunset stated sorely, “you’re not getting off that easy, Silas! There’s a punishment in order for embarrassing me like this; and I think one just came to mind...” I tensed up as she whispered-slash-hissed that last part into my ear. “You’re going to say I’m sorry, and then you’re going to wash me of this filth with your bare claws.” I swallowed the woolly mammoth convention in my throat. This mare could intimidate Gordon Ramsay if she wanted to. “You haven’t said those words since... ever! In fact, the only time Justin should use the words “I’m” and “sorry” in a sentence, is if the words “never says he’s” is in between them! Can I do this? AND WASHING HER!? What the hell is up with this sadistical... hold on... I can use that.” “Well? I’m waiting, Silas.” I smiled. “I’m... I’m sorry! There, I said it!” Sunset tussled my mane with her hoof, laughing all the while. “See? That wasn’t so bad, right? Now for part two, my little dragon.” I gritted my teeth at that demeaning sludge she just called me. I am not little, and I am not a dragon. I am a draconian! The curtain to the shower was swept back with her magic as I stood up, and she stepped in quickly with a proud smile on her face. “You should feel honored I’m even giving you a chance to touch me, Silas; after that stunt you pulled and all! I might just let you clean up with me if you do a good job...” My fists clenched at her playful words. “Although, you probably wouldn’t be able to control yourself, being such a boorish moron. I guess the second part of that suggestion will have to be redacted until further notice, hmm~?” “Soak it up while you can, Cartman’s Outfit! You’re gonna be singing a different toon soon...” I smiled at her sweetly as she turned to look at me. Her aura surrounded a bottle of shampoo and levitated it towards me as she turned on the water with her horn also. I was amazed by her prowess in magic, seeing as how she was now alternating the knobs to adjust the temperature, pouring the shampoo into my claws, and grabbing a yellow scrubbie from the showerhead. “How the fuck are you doing that? It’s like Santa’s Workshop, but with suds and bubbles,” I breathed to myself, and was relieved when my washable warden didn’t hear it. “Fucking incredible... so awesome... why are you so cool?” Her eyes snapped open at my last sentence as she looked at me with a blush on her face. “ARE YOU DONE!? Don’t say such embarrassing things when I’m trying to concentrate, moron!” I was blasted in the face with her scrubbie, making me frown on one side of my mouth as it bounced back into the tub with a wet splat. “Yes, I’m done,” I snarked playfully. “Should I begin scrubbing the Royal Ass, now?” My smartass comment was rewarded by way of a sharp smack of the tail from the mare who owned it. “Silence yourself, you brute, and get washing. I’d like to enjoy my birthday outside this shower too, you know.” Grumbling, I dug my fingers into her coat and massaged her hair. It was soft; obviously kept well groomed by the same mare who owned it. The texture reminded me of silk, and left the nerves on the insides of my claws hungering for more. I scrubbed her, though; quite roughly, if I may add. “Not so hard, Silas! Massage me softer!” Another smack to my face had me snarling at her. She flinched a little bit at my sudden aggression, but kept her confident look plastered on that face of hers as she tilted her head up under the spray of water. “Need I remind you what I can do with my horn?” “Need I remind you of what I can do to i-,” I frowned with a snort. “Nevermind. Turn around so I can wash your other side. I’m done with this one.” “Was that a command?” I growled at her, making sure to put most of my chest into it. I wasn’t going to stand for much more of this. Sunset cracked an eye open as a response, using it to peer at me with quiet amusement. I could tell there was mirth in those eyes. “You needn’t be so forceful about it, dragon-man. You kill enemies better with kindness than anger.” I snorted again as she turned around in the shower, her head passing by mine as her left side was brought to bear. “You’re caresses are warming, though; have you had masseuse training?” “How about I put you to sleep my way? Would you like that?” I snorted again, keeping silent as I pushed my claws into her fur again and scrubbed away. She hummed her assent to keep going, which I did slowly-but-quickly. In five minutes, her left side was completely washed. “Now this isn’t so bad, right? You’re almost done! All you’ve got to do now is rinse me off... and wash my mane. That won’t be asking too much from you, would it?” Sunset cracked an eye open again to fix me with its mirthful light-blue pupil. I stared at it like a vulture would do to a pack of hyenas that moved it from its carrion dinner. “Turn around...” Sunset tilted her head to the side, as if she didn’t hear me. I snarled again, my claws even cracking the side of tub with how hard I was clamping down on it. “... pleasssse,” I spat. “Aw, you’re actually learning!” “THAT’S IT! YOU’VE FUCKED WITH THE WRONG ONE!” Quicker than lightning, my claw found itself attached swatting her flank powerfully, making her go wide-eyed instantly. Her head snapped to glare a look of absolute distaste and scorn at me. “What do you think you’re doing!? Did you really just- HAH,” Sunset yelled as her back legs gave out on her, my claw grabbing good amounts of her flank. Her eyes were shut tight in concentration as her breathing became forceful exhales that sent spittle flying over the side of tub. Her chin and front legs hung over the edge of the tub as she became putty in my claws. “You’re not so high and might now, are you!? I’m actually a nice guy; your flanks were the only things I didn’t wash, but I think that’s about to change, hmm?” I narrowed my eyes at her and brought my muzzle to her left ear. “You’re going to enjoy this part a lot, actually. I can tell from that blush on your face that this is what you secretly hoped for.” “You’re wrong! Let me go right- HAH! AH! Stop!” The cause for her two interruptions there was the slow elevation and descent pattern of my claw, which I had just picked up for her to enjoy. I made sure to move as slow as possible, in order for her to feel each scale rub against her golden backside. “PLEASE! I’LL STOP! I’ll- EEEEEE! UGH! Just stop already!” I let go. Her eyes widened as he stared at me. “Evil... you’re evil...” I raised my eyebrow. “I think I’m getting kind of hungry. Of course, I could help you finish up before cooking us both something to eat as an apology dinner on both our halfs. We’ve both been jerks to each other, after all.” I made to get up, but a golden hoof caught the side my face and forced me to stay still.... even though its end was flat and should’ve had no way to grab me by the collar. Sunset stared at me for a long time, looked away, then kept repeating the cycle. After a long time, she sighed and prodded my claw with her butt, whining the whole time. Apparently, she didn’t want to say how bad she wanted it. I was done being a dick, however, and gripped her flanks a little more firmly than last time. Keeping my eyebrow raised, I applied a little bit more shampoo to my claws and rubbed her butt for a little while more. There were times where her silent whimpering would turn into a low moan that made me question if what I was really doing myself a favor just as much as I was doing her a favor. Eventually, as I neared the back of her flanks, her whimpering ceased and transformed into complete, shameless moans that made me shiver all over. I don’t think I need to say it, but I jumped somewhat when I touched the middle of her sun tattoo... “HAHHHHHH!” Her body gave out, falling onto the tub floor with a wet thud. “Just... just like that! Don’t stop!” “Why am I rubbing off a pony off right now? No, I shouldn’t think like that. Sunset’s an amazing woman, who knows what she wants and how she wants it. She walks with her head held high, and confidence everlasting. Sunset is smart and attractive, and I should feel pretty damn honored that I’m able to touch her like this!” “My flanks! HAH! YES!” I sighed at how much she wanted her inevitable release. Her tongue was cleaning the edge of the tub as I bent forwards and ravaged her sun tattoo with my fingers, kneading into the soft flesh as a blush came over my face. “CELESTIA-DAMNIT, SILAS! Ooooo, you’re good at THIS! Make MOMMA PROUD!” “That dirty talk.... Uh oh. I need to hurry up! This shit isn’t good for my own libido man; I’m a sucker for pillow talk! I’m starting to feel this too!” I stopped my ministrations with a clenching of my teeth. My penises were bumping against my crotch scales, pushing on the sensitive coverings furiously.  Sunset zapped me in the face with a blue beam of magic, making me reel back and fall onto my buttocks. I shook my head and blinked rapidly, dispelling the cloudiness that had sprung up within me. “She may be beautiful, but I’m not going to get her off because she wants me to. We’re not even in a relationship with one another, yet she wants me to help her finish!? I have standards.... now, at least; and this will not stand!” I shook my head sadly and pushed her face away. “I can’t soil you, Sunset. We haven’t become anything yet, and it’s still too soon for me. I know this may sound weird coming from a guy, but let’s save these explicit activities for when true affection blossoms between us.” Sunset frowned, let out a whine of frustration shortly afterwards, pouted, gnashed her teeth, then gave a growl of disappointment as she nodded. “Just a head’s up, Silas; I’m not going to be happy with you for a while, okay? I… haven’t done anything like that in a while and was really pent up. Get out of the bathroom, please.” Sunset’s horn glowed as her aura briefly surrounded the curtains, but she slipped, slamming her head onto the back wall by accident. “Owwww....” I sighed and moved the curtains out of the way. “I can still help you wash up, at least. Would you like that?” “Go make me something soothing for dinner, you oaf. I’m fine.” I frowned at that, angry at myself for putting her in such a state. The way she described this arousal of hers, it’s not gonna be through a party and a tango before she starts feeling better. “Way to go, Champ! Just when I thought you’d finally be able to clear the cobwebs off your dicks; you go and get cold feet! Simply fantastic!” I kept a snarl inside my head as I got up and made my way out of the bathroom, heading for the kitchen to start making Sunset’s ‘soothing’ meal. “Cooking this took more time than I thought it would, but at least it still came out good. These potatoes took a long time to boil, and the Chamomile was surprisingly unforgiving in the way of its potency when drafting the tea. If this doesn’t put her at ease, nothing will.”  I placed the plate containing the cheese and broccoli stuffed potato on my left claw and carried her mug of chamomile tea to the table, placing the arrangement down on her side of the table. “And time moved way too fast for my liking! How the hell did we go from that fiasco at breakfast, to the bathroom, and now here to dinner? Actually, it’s supper time.” I frowned my face up in confusion as I went back over to the stove and grabbed my own potato. As I went back to the table, the sound of Sunset’s walking filled the air. “What is that delightful aroma? Ow...” She whined and trailed off. “It hurts to do everything...”       I hit myself in the head at that; it was obvious she was in a lot of pain because of my jelly-like confidence to follow through in the bathroom. I knew simply making her a dinner made to put her asleep wasn’t going to fit the bill. Something else had to be done, and I was going to do it; I was going to help her finish. “If she did what I did to her, I would be pretty fucking steamed. Ol’ Sam was a fond believer of the Golden Rule; treat others the same way you would treat yourself. I don’t do this because I am the son of Sam, but because it’s the right thing to do... and she’s a nine-out-of-ten on an attraction chart. She has everything I’d look for in a woman... except the abusive streak.... but I do piss her off a lot. Have my chances already been shot down?” Sunset jumped up onto her chair and picked up her fork with a hoof. “What? How the hell did she do that? Once again, this land of minotaurs and technicolor ponies will take a long time in getting used to.” Some of her stuffed potato was shoveled into her mouth, and as she chewed twice, her eyes widened in enjoyment. Still, she winced when the pain of her arousal and her head set back in; her mood souring in all but an instant. The potato was eaten after the cycle of bite, smile,  and wince, carried on around twenty times. Her tea was downed surprisingly quick, making me sigh as she got up and maneuvered herself to the couch. “Sunset...” I gulped as I trailed off, not really feeling the surefire courage I normally have. “Do... do you... do you want me to... help you with that?” There was a groan as a response. “What? You want to help with my Blue Walls? And don’t say it doesn’t exist.. because it does...” It didn’t sound like a no, so I forgot about my dinner and made my way into the living room and next to her. “I thought I said to go away, Silas...” “But you’re in pain... I don’t like the fact you’re in pain...” “... Meh... it hurts to argue... it hurts to anything right no- HOoooooo,” Sunset suddenly moaned in relief as I used two of my fingers to rub her flanks. “Fingers are sooooo gooooddd....” I smiled a little bit at her enjoyment, continuing to stroke her bottom with a little more assertiveness now that a good rhythm had been picked up. “This feels amazing... I’m gonna s-splash soon....” Her voice became airy, as if she were trying to speak into a cloud softly. Her head trembled, and I could hear her teeth grinding together. Her little butt climbed into the air steadily as she shoved her horn outwards! “Dear GODS, I’M GONNA SPLASH! rrrrrrRRRRGGGGHH! SHIT!” I pinned my ears back at how loud she was screaming. My legs were soaked from her climax, the pants becoming somewhat flooded with her juices around the crotch area. This meant that the most unenjoyable of breezes was now plaguing me down there. “OOOOOoooooohhhh.... That was f-fucking amazing....” Her hooves curled up as her erratic breaths turned into soft ones. “...Mmmm, Silas? Thank you for that; I was pretty backed up, buddy!” Her back end and tail were practically drenched in her essence; a sight that made me blush profusely and turn my head away from her. I chuckled a bit and rubbed her back, massaging the tense muscles as she sighed into my ministrations. “You’re a screamer? I never would’ve figured... NOT that there’s anything wrong with that!” I didn’t want to end such a tender moment by offending her, and I feared for the safety of my health as she slowly stirred on the couch; sliding closer to me while flipping herself onto her side. Her eyes met mine. “I didn’t know myself, y’know. Now get up here and lay next to me.” She blushed and averted her eyes. “Uh, and that’s strictly because.... well... a unicorn becomes, uh... defenseless! Yeah, defenseless! A mare needs a reliable... friend... to stay next to them, or else her magical reserves can’t replenish... because she’d be too scared.” I stared at her, fully aware she just told the biggest crock of shit. “Aww, I think she likes me. Dear Lord... I might be feeling the same a little bit...” “Anything for the birthday girl...” I smiled at her and stepped over her relaxing form, placing myself behind her. My arm soon found its way tentatively around her chest, which she sighed at, and scooted back against me. “Comfortable?” “Verily. Thanks again, buddy.” She went quiet after that, and I found my own eyes growing heavy as the thought of sleep made me- “Oh, you’re back.” DAMN IT!