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// M'aiq and cadence are best friends 
// Story: M'aiq in Equestria 
// by Alternate Universe Maiq 
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Has M'aiq ever told you that M'aiq is a cat? No, he is being serious, M'aiq is a cat. He does not have hands for which he can pick up sweet rolls, fondle them, then put them in his mouth and chew with all of his might. Revering how tasty sweet rolls are. Thinking of sweet rolls has his mouth water with joy. Mmmmmmm...

"M'aiq." 

Sweet rolls... If M'aiq had his hands...

"M'aiq."

Suddenly, someone is pulling on his left ear. Is someone trying to seduce him? The last time something like that happened, a flame atronach fancied M'aiq. He couldn't feel his head for months... or his body. 

"M'aiq!"

Oh, it's just Cadence. Why is she pulling on M'aiq's ear? Is she a flame atronach too?! “Back! Back you heathen! He will not let you devour his body in flames!” Cadence was not very happy with the way M’aiq talked to her. She lifted him up in the air with her magic.

“No! M’aiq is not a bird,” flailing his limbs about, like his life was in danger. Cadance’s eyes were not amused, they were anything but amused. At that moment M’aiq thought he was done for, dead as a lone adventurer being smashed by a giant’s club. Have you seen a giant before? With one stomp, they send you 200 feed in the air, or so M’aiq thought. Either way, he does not want to be pounded. Instead of receiving a giant’s club. He was placed on Cadance’s back. She still looked displeased. But at least M’aiq was no longer in danger of incurring the wrath of the pink pony.

It’s not so bad here. M’aiq gets to have view of Celestia’s throne room, all the while not getting stepped on. As he was taking in the room, he noticed Cadence’s hair. It looks very delicious, pink, purple and yellow; he wonders if Cadence wears candy in her hair? There is only one way to find out. That is to taste her hair. He slowly and silently made his way across her back. He was so close that he could practally taste it. Well, he is tasting it, and let him tell you something. It does not taste like candy, just hair, plain old hair. Well this is disappointing, here M’aiq thought candy was interlaced in Cadence’s hair, and all he got was hair. Oh well. He did however, saw something shiny on top of her head. 

“Ah, M’aiq, what are you doing?” she said puzzled by M’aiq’s attempts to climb her head. He was almost there. He could feel it, the feeling of sinking his fangs in to that delicious morsel that adorned her head, and soon it will adorn his stomach. He wondered if it tasted like chocolate, he hoped it tasted like chocolate it has been awhile since he ate anything outside of rocks and dirt. M’aiq was at the time very homeless and very hungry. Licking his lips, all he had to do was to extend his paw, swipe at the shiny thing and it will be his. He fell over on the ground, but all was not lost. In his failing he managed to grab the shiny thing. Somehow. But it did not mattered, all that mattered was that he had the thing. He opened his mouth as wide as he could and chomped down. OOoooooooOOooOoooooowwwwwwwww… That was not chocolate, that was a metal regalia. M’aiq thinks he is missing a tooth or two… okay he is missing all of them.

“All M’aiq wanted was to eat something sweet,” hanging his head down in shame.

“There, there, M’aiq. If it will make you feel better, you can have this piece of soft candy.”

At this prospect, M’aiq eagerly accepted Cadance’s offering. With the piece of candy held firmly in his paws he took one final bite.
He couldn't taste it.

"Talos Damnit!"