//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TRAUMATIZERS, YAY! // Story: The SweetieMash Chronicles // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// The SweetieMash Chronicles Chapter 5: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TRAUMATIZERS, YAY! -oooooooo- “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BUNGEE JUMPERS, YAY!” Once again, Button Mash found himself in the unenviable position of being some place high while something was strapped to him. The idea being that he would jump and whatever was supposed to keep him from getting maimed or killed would do its job. Judging by how jagged and pointy the rocks below the bridge were, the later seemed the most likely if things didn’t pan out. Button, still a bit of a disheveled mess, looked over the side of the bridge pensively and gulped. Sweetie Belle, also still something of a mess, poked her head over the side and scrutinized the unforgiving landscape below. “Girls,” Sweetie Belle said as she looked back at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, “this looks even more suicidal than the last thing we tried.” “She’s gotta point,” Apple Bloom added, “and so do all those nasty lookin’ rocks beneath us.” “Guys look, it’s totally fine!” Scootaloo insisted. She motioned to a large rock that had one of the bungee cords tied around it. “Here, this rock can be point man from now on.” Sweetie Belle’s and Apple Bloom’s expressions relaxed. “Sounds good,” Apple Bloom said. “Works for me,” Sweetie Belle said. “No way!” The trio of fillies turned to Button Mash who angrily glared at the rock. “No way am I getting swapped out for a rock.” Button Mash in insisted. “But Button,” Sweetie Belle protested, “it might not be safe.” “Scootaloo thinks it’s safe,” Button said as he turned to Scootaloo. “Don’t you Scootaloo?” Scootaloo shrugged. “You jump, the cord catches you, and it brings you back up,” she stated simply. Button nodded, “Good enough for Button Mash, Colt of Action!” “That’s pretty much tha same thing ya said about the parachutes!” Apple Bloom reminded. Sweetie Belle turned to Button Mash, “Button, you probably should stop trusting everything Scoot…NO WAIT!” Button jumped. “GERONIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” “BUTTON MASH!” Sweetie Belle shrieked after the young colt. She glanced at his bungee cord and said a quick prayer to Celestia that it would hold. “WHY ARE THOSE ROCKS SO TERRIFYING LOOKING!?” Scootaloo cocked an eye at Sweetie Belle, “What’s got you so worried?” Sweetie Belle turned to Scootaloo with narrowed, serious looking green eyes. “A: I don’t want him to die. B: I don’t want us to die!” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged a quick, confused glances. “Why would we die?” Scootaloo asked. “Do you have any idea what Button’s Mom will do to us if something happens to him?!” Sweetie Belle asked. Apple Bloom’s and Scootaloo’s eyes suddenly shot open. They quickly poked their heads over the side and also made quiet prayers for the colt’s safety. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH.”   ‘SPROOONG!’ “… HHHHEY!” Button Mash said. “The rocks are going away now… hehehe… this isn’t so bad… I’m flying! WHEEEEEE! This is awesome!” The trio of fillies breathed a collective sigh of relief. “See,” Scootaloo said, motioning out towards Button with a forehoof, “nothin’ to worry about.” “… THEY’RE COMING BACK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH…” Sweetie Belle glanced over the edge again. “I don’t know…he seems awfully freaked out…” “Well, seemed like he was havin’ fun jus’ a few moments ago…” Apple Bloom mused. Scootaloo peeked her head out over the bridge, “Give it a few seconds…” ‘SPROOONG!’ “... HHHHHHHEY! They’re leaving again! See you later, crud rocks! Oh man, this is the best… feeling… EVER!” “There you go,” Scootaloo said with a wide grin as she motioned to the yo-yoing brown colt. “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER AGAIN! THIS IS THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!” “Maybe we should pull him back up…” Sweetie Belle said with concern. “He is screamin’ an awful lot,” Apple Bloom said in agreement. “It’s bungee jumping,” Scootaloo said, “it’s supposed to have lots of shouting.” ‘SPROOONG!’ “NO, WAIT! THEY’RE GOING AWAY AGAIN! THIS IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!” “Are you suuuure?” Sweetie Belle said as she raised an eyebrow. “I jus’ imagined there’d be more excited screamin’ and less terrified screamin’…” Apple Bloom said. “…AHHHHHHH! WORST THING! WORST THING! WORST THING!” “Seriously though,” Sweetie Belle said, “how long are we going to let this go on?” Scootaloo shrugged, “He’s gotta stop at some point…” -ooo- “Ah can’t believe he kept going for over 20 minutes!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, “I may not know a lot about bungee jumpin’, but that doesn’t seem physically possible!” “Pinkie Pie said these were the best bungee cords she had,” Scootaloo said. Sweetie Belle looked at her two friends then turned towards the shaking colt next to her. “Are you okay, Button Mash?” Button Mash continued to tremble uncontrollably, staring out into space with eyes opened wide and pupils the size of pinpoints. “I have stared into the terrible face of death…” Button murmured, “… yet live to speak about it.” Sweetie Belle turned back to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. “I’m not sure jumping is such a great idea, girls…” “…But was it mercy that stayed death’s hand, or am I merely a reminder to other ponies that all will eventually find themselves in death’s cold embrace?” “I mean,” Sweetie Belle continued as she raised an eyebrow at Button Mash, “he’s saying some pretty weird stuff.” “It’s Button Mash,” Scootaloo reminded. “How can you tell?” “Well…” Sweetie Belle thought about this. “The things he says usually aren’t so…dark…” “Hello Darkness my old friend…” Button Mash began to sing, still staring out into open space. “And he usually doesn’t start singing folk songs…” Sweetie Belle added. “…I’ve come to talk with you again…” “Yeah…he’s creepin’ me out…” Apple Bloom admitted. “He’s FINE!” Scootaloo insisted. “There’s not a scratch on him!” she argued, motioning out to the colt with both her forehooves. “You think it’s safe to jump, don’t you Button Mash?” she asked as she turned to face Button. Button Mash forced a tortured smile onto his trembling face, his lips quivering and fighting for every millimeter of movement. “See!” Scootaloo said, pointing to Button with a forehoof. “He’s smiling.” “That dosen’t look like happy smiling, to me…” Sweetie Belle mused. “Me neither…” Apple Bloom agreed.  “Do you two want bungee jumping cutie marks, or not?” Scootaloo asked. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other and then back to Scootaloo.  “Do we haffta jump over scary, sharp, jagged rocks?” Apple Bloom asked. “Well, I figured this way there’s a good chance we could get daredevil cutie marks out of all of this.” Scootaloo replied. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged glances once more. “…” “…” “Great idea, Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Yeah! We’re sure to get our cutie marks in something this way!” Sweetie Belle added. “…Within the sound of silence…” The trio of fillies looked over the side and gulped. “Are we sure we wanna do this?” Apple Bloom asked. “No guts, no glory,” Scootaloo replied. “What is it with you and guts?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Look, let’s just all jump on the count of three,” Scootaloo said. “One…two…two and a half…two and three quarters…” “GET ON WITH IT!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. “…THREE!” The three fillies jumped. “AaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!” After about 20 minutes of frantic screaming followed by manic declarations, the four cutie markless foals found themselves looking for a new activity. “So…many…rocks…” Scootaloo uttered as she walked along and trembled uncontrollably. “It was…it was like each one was made to inflict a new form of pain never thought of before!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, also walking and trembling. “…In restless dreams I walked alone…” Button murmured softly. “Stop it,” Sweetie Belle commanded the brown colt. Button Mash paused and shook his head as if to clear it, “Stop what?” he asked, turning to look at Sweetie Belle. “Uhg… never mind…” Sweetie Belle grumbled. Scootaloo paused. “Hey! I have an idea!” she declared. “We’re not jumping off of anything!” Sweetie Belle said. “…I have no ideas!” Scootaloo corrected. “There’s gotta be somethin’ we can do that doesn’t require us to maybe leap to our deaths!” Apple Bloom moaned. The three fillies paused and gave this some thought. -ooooooo- “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BEEKEEPERS, YAY!” “Alright! So what do I do?!” Button asked excitedly as he looked over at the boxes full of bee hives. “Jus’ go up there and ask the bees if you can have some honey!” Apple Bloom said. Sweetie Belle cocked an eyebrow, “You really think that’ll work?” “Sure! Granny Smith does it all the time! And she never gets stung or nothin’!” Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle paused and stared at the yellow pony. “Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo began, “Your grandma has been doing this for years, do you really think Button Mash is just gonna be able to waltz up there and the bees will fork over their honey?” “It’s okay!” Button Mash said. “I trust her!” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo exchanged a quick, concerned glance. Sweetie Belle walked up to Button Mash and put a forearm around his neck. “Could you excuse us a moment?” she asked the other Crusaders. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo nodded. Sweetie Belle walked the brown colt over a ways away from her friends. “You should really stop trusting everything we say…” Button’s eyes widened slightly, “Even you?” “Especially me!” Sweetie Belle said. “My ideas are the worse…just… just terrible…” Sweetie Belle paused and stared off into space. “I still have nightmares about when we tried to get our cutie marks in dentistry…” she said shuddering slightly. “But…” Buttons began to tear up slightly and his lips quivered, “…you’re my best friend!” Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened slightly and she pursed her lips. “Awwwwwww!” she exclaimed. She shook her head, “Wait…but…okay…that doesn’t mean you should just blindly do anything I say… or my friends… especially my friends! And especially not me!” “But… I wanna help!” Button protested. “Sure, but you don’t need to put yourself in harm’s way all the time!” “But it’s my duty as valiant adventurer Button Mash to face any and all troubles for the good of the group!” “Uh… even if we’re the ones causing the trouble?” Sweetie Belle asked. Button nodded. “Especially if you’re the ones causing the trouble!” “Button… you really don’t have to do this…” Sweetie Belle said meekly. Button Mash paused and placed his forehooves on Sweetie Belle’s shoulders. He locked his big, amber eyes with Sweetie Belle’s emerald ones, “I wanna keep you safe.” Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened and teared up slightly and she let out a soft whimper. “Alright Button,” she said with a smile and a nod, placing a forehoof over one of Button’s, “you can keep being our point man if that’s what you want.” “Yay!” Button Mash cried as he stood on his hind legs and waved his forehooves about. Sweetie Belle smiled and trotted back to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, “Good news everypony! He’s going to talk to the bees!” “We’ll ain’t that the bee’s knees!” Apple Bloom replied cheerfully. “Nice! You tricked him into it,” Scootaloo said. Sweetie Belle frowned, “I didn’t trick him! He wanted to do it!” “You used your feminine wiles on him didn’t you?” Scootaloo asked. Sweetie Belle paused, “Wait… actually I think he used his masculine wiles on me…” “Do guys even have wiles?” Apple Bloom asked. Scootaloo shrugged, “Beats me, I’m not even sure what feminine wiles are to tell the truth…” “Ready or not bees! Here I come!” Button cried as he galloped up to the white boxes full of buzzing bees. “Go, Button Mash!” Sweetie Belle cheered out excitedly. “Yeah! Go get that honey!” Scootaloo shouted out. “You talk to those bees!” Apple Bloom added. Button Mash suddenly stopped in front of the boxed bee hives and sat on his hooves. “Can I have some honey?”  he asked. Hundreds of angry, buzzing bees suddenly emerged, collecting into a menacing looking cloud that droned with the sounds of danger and pain. Button’s eyes widened as the corner of his lips fell as if they anchors suddenly dropped from the sides of his mouth. “Oh-no…OUCH! OW! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Button Mash screamed in a panic as he attempted to run from the angry mass of stinging bees that followed him around. Sweetie Belle’s soaring smile quickly caught fire and crashed to the ground, changing into a giant frown as she watched the brown colt flail about. “I’M THE WORST BEST FRIEND EVER!” she cried as her eyes began to fill with tears. She threw herself to the ground and began wailing “WHUOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” “Don’t cry Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said. “You tried to warn him…” Sweetie Belle paused, and tried to stop her bawling, “Sniff…” “Yeah, and then she encouraged him!” Scootaloo reminded. Sweetie Belle immediately returned to being a heap of tears, “WHUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHUAAAAAAAHUAAAAAHUAAAAAAAAA!” “Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom chastised. “What! She did!” Scootaloo insisted, motioning out to Sweetie Belle with both hooves. “THE BEES! THEY STING! IT HURTS AND IT STINGS! THEY WON’T STOP! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!” Button cried as he continued to run about back and forth. “What are you all doing out here?!” A light brown stallion in a white beekeeper’s suit demanded. He had a beehive with a couple of bees buzzing around it painted on the flanks of his suit. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom winced. Sweetie Belle continued to sob. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom turned to face the beekeeper. “Sorry sir, we were just tryin’ to get our cutie marks in beekeepin’.” Apple Bloom explained. The stallion’s expression softened, “Oh! Well why didn’t you say so? First thing to know about bees is they hate the color brown, it reminds them of bears.” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged quick grins. “Didja hear that?” Apple Bloom asked. “Yeah! They’re only stinging the heck out of Button Mash because he’s brown!” Scootaloo replied. She nudged her crying friend, “Come on Sweetie Belle! We’ve got honey to gather!” “Sniff… Oh… okay…” Sweetie Belle said weakly. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo helped Sweetie Belle to her hooves and the three bolted for the hives. “WAIT! I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU THE SECOND THING TO KNOW ABOUT BEES!” The beekeeper shouted out. “OUCH!” “OWIE!” “OW!” “…Always wear a beekeeper’s suit around them…” “AHHHH! THEY’RE IN MY MANE! THEY’RE IN MY MANE!” Sweetie Belle cried. “WHY ARE THEY ONLY STINGING MY WINGS?!” Scootaloo screamed. “I’M SORRY MR. BEES! WE DIDN’T MEAN ANY…OUCH! OUCH!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “DON’T APOLOGIZE!” Button Mash shouted, “THEY STING HARDER IF YOU SAY ‘SORRY!’…OWCH! WHY’D I SAY IT?! WHY’D I SAY IT?!” The beekeeper sighed, “I’ll get the garden hose…” -ooo- Sopping wet and covered in bumpy, swollen welts, and the occasional berry juice stain, the four foals trudged down the Ponyville path as Celestia continued to move the sun lower in the sky. “Now what?” Apple Bloom asked. Scootaloo took a quick glance at the sun, “We still got some daylight left… do we have any other ideas? “We can see if Sweetie Belle has any ideas…” Apple Bloom suggested. “Are we really that desperate?” Scootaloo asked. “We’re pretty desperate…” Apple Bloom admitted. “OUCH!” Button exclaimed as Sweetie Belle clamped her teeth around a stinger on his side and pulled it out. Button scratched at the area with a back hoof. “Thanks, Sweetie Belle.” Sweetie Belle spit out the stinger and stuck out her tongue with a, “Bleh…Yeah, no problem…Hey Button?” “Yeah, Sweetie Belle?” “I’m really sorry you got stung…” Sweetie Belle said sheepishly. “Oh, that’s alright, Sweetie Belle… I’m just sorry you got hurt… Some point man I turned out to be…” Sweetie Belle stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes opened wide and she let out a squeaky whimper. He’s not real… He can’t possibly be this nice to me still after everything I put him through… Button Mash paused and stared at Sweetie Belle’s face, “Hey Sweetie Belle?” “Wa… what?” Sweetie Belle stammered out, her face beginning to flush red. She let out a tiny squeak as Button Mash leaned his face forward, opened his lips, and clamped his teeth around something in between her chin and lower lip. Button pulled his face back. “Pttu…” he spit out a stinger, and stuck out his tongue, “Glck…sorry…stinger on your face.” Sweetie Belle’s eyes became glazed and unfocused. Oh my gosh! Did Button just kiss me?! Was that my first kiss?! What do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?! Quick, what would Rarity do?! “Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Button called out. Wait… Rarity would probably spend hours in the bathroom getting ready for a date, Sweetie Belle thought as she began to knit her brow together. Ulg… Hours and hours spent trying to get her hair ‘just perfect’ and then even more hours of picking out the perfect outfit! “Equestria to Sweetie Belle…” Button said, waving a forehoof in front of the near catatonic unicorn. “Helloooo…?” “Great! Button used his masculine wiles on Sweetie Belle again, an’ broke her!” Apple Bloom said. “What?!” Button Mash protested. “No I didn’t! I don’t even know what that means!” Sweetie Belle simply continued to stare off into space, pulling a variety of faces. “Oh, man!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “I bet he kissed her! Who knows when she’ll snap out of it?” “I didn’t kiss her!” Button insisted. “I just pulled a stinger off her face…” “Yeah, with your mouth, I bet.” Scootaloo replied. Button’s face flushed crimson. Scootaloo chuckled, “Look at his face! He totally did!” Apple Bloom giggled. “No… but…” Button began to protests. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other, grinned, and nodded. “Sweetie Belle and Button Mash, Sitting in a tree…” “But…!” Button protested. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” “No, I just…” Button began to tear up. “First comes love, then comes marriage.” “Sniff… eh… heee… woua…”  “Then comes the foal in the…” “Auunhwuahwuahwuaaaa!” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo paused as Button started wailing. Sweetie Belle suddenly snapped to, focusing her eyes on the situation in front of her. “Hey, Sorry Button Mash…” Scootaloo offered. Apple Bloom nodded, “Yeah, we didn’t mean noth…” “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Sweetie Belle shrieked as she dashed over and positioned herself in-between the two fillies and Button Mash. She glared out angrily at her friends as she breathed in and out deeply. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo flashed each other concerned looks then looked back at Sweetie Belle. “We didn’t mean to hurt his feelings!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Honest!” “Yeah, we were just teasing him a little…” Scootaloo said. “We said we were sorry…” Sweetie Belle paused. Well… Button cries more than any pony I know… even my sister… “Sniff… It’s okay Sweetie Belle… I forgive them…” Button said as he wiped tears from his eyes. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo breathed a collective sigh of relief. “Really?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Just like that?” Button Mash nodded, “Sure, I mean…that’s what friends do, right? They forgive each other when they know their friends didn’t mean to hurt them.” Sweetie Belle’s eye’s widened and her lip quivered slightly as she silently looked at Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and simply motioned out to Button Mash with her forehooves. Apple Bloom grinned wide, “That’s right, Button. That’s exactly what friends do.” Scootaloo matched her friends grin, “You’re the best point man ever… even if you’re not exactly a man…” Button beamed, “Really?!” He suddenly frowned once more, “But you guys still got hurt even after I went first all those times.” “Well…we really want our cutie marks bad...” Scootaloo said. “And sometimes we don’t always think things through…” Apple Bloom admitted. “Sometimes?” Sweetie Belle asked, cocking an eye open. “It’s okay, girls! I’m having a lot of fun!” Button said. The three fillies looked at each other in surprise and then turned back to Button. “Really?” they asked in unison. “Yeah!” Button said, “I’ve never gotten to just hang out with other foals my age before.” Sweetie Belle whimpered slightly and once again motioned out to Button Mash with her forehooves. “Ah think it’s time for a Cutie Mark Crusaders group hug!” Apple Bloom declared. “I second the motion!” Scootaloo exclaimed.  “Thirded!” Sweetie Belle added. Button Mash grinned wide as the three fillies trotted up to him. “Hurray! Acceptance!” he exclaimed. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS GROUP HUG, YA-OW!” “GAH! ACCEPTANCE HURTS!” Button cried. As quickly as they came together, the four parted and began rubbing their injured and stung bodies. “Maybe we should save the group hug until after we’re all healed up…” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Good idea…” Apple Bloom agreed. “So, what’s next?” Button asked. “Actually, we were going to ask if Sweetie Belle had any ideas.” Scootaloo said. “ME?” Sweetie Belle said in a worried tone. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo put on grim expressions and nodded. “Hurray, Sweetie Belle!” Button said. Sweetie Belle gulped, “Well…I do have this one idea…” -ooooooo- “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SEWER INSPECTORS, YAY!” The three fillies quickly went to work, lodging a metal hook into a hole in a ponyhole cover and leveraging an attached metal bar. Button Mash quickly rushed over to help and the four foals grunted and strained against the bar. Soon, they successfully lifted the ponyhole and used their lifter to position it off to the side of the hole. ‘CLANK!’ “Pee-eww!”Sweetie Belle exclaimed placing a forehoof over her noose. “Ulg…” Button uttered, “what an incredible smell we’ve discovered.” “That smells worse than the inside of Big McIntosh’s work collar after a day in the orchard.” Apple Bloom commented. Scootaloo’s eye twitched. “Thanks Apple Bloom, I was running out of things to think about while I scream myself to sleep every night…” “Alright gang,” Sweetie Belle said, “apply clothespins.” Sweetie Belle’s horn glowed green as four clothespins hovered out of her white saddlebag and floated over to her friends. The four foals carefully clipped their noses shut. “Okay Crusaders,” Sweetie Belle said enthusiastically, the clothespin adding a nasal inflection to her tone, “let’s…” Sweetie Belle paused as a brown arm was held in front of her. Sweetie Belle stared wide eyed at Button. “You can’t be serious…” “Fear not, team! Button Mash, Colt of Action will scout out this dungeon!” Button replied, his voice also a touch nasally. The three fillies quickly looked at each other with worried expressions mirrored across their faces. “Button, you don’t need to do that!” Sweetie Belle insisted. Apple Bloom nodded, “Yeah, you’ve done plenty already…” “Seriously dude,” Scootaloo said, “you’ve done a lot as it is. We’re not going to ask you to go down there…” “But…what if it’s dangerous down there?” Button reasoned. “All the more reason you should stay up here!” Apple Bloom replied. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded in agreement. Button Mash shook his head. “No way! I was brought onto this mission as point man, and I’m going to finish it as point man!” “Button,” Sweetie Belle began, “you really don’t…” “Shhhh…” Button placed a forehoof up to Sweetie Belle’s lips. “Fear not, fair maiden. For as long as there are perils that you may walk into, I, Button Mash, will rush headlong to face them and keep you safe.” Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened and her face flushed red as she merely nodded. Button smiled. “For Pondor!” he cried, rushing towards the open hole. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo glanced over to Sweetie Belle. “Did he jus’ call you ‘fair maiden’?” Apple Bloom asked. Sweetie Belle nodded. “I think somepony has a cruuuuush~!” Scootaloo sang out. “I DO NOT!” Sweetie Belle shrieked. Scootaloo scrunched up her brow, “I was talking about Button Mash.” “…Oh …” Sweetie Belle replied, her face turning a luminescent shade of red. ‘Clang, Clang…’ The three fillies paused, listening as Button Mash slowly descended the ladder into the unknown darkness below. “WHOA!” ‘Splash!’ The three fillies cringed. “OH GOSH! I LOST MY CLOTHESPIN! THE SMELL! IT’S ALL SLIMY AND IT SMELLS! I…BLECH…cough…cough…IT’S IN MY MOUTH! IT’S IN MY MOUTH! I THINK…I THINK I KNOW WHAT SADNESS TASTES LIKE NOW!” Sweetie Belle’s ears flopped down around the side of her head as she slowly lowered herself to the ground in a legs splayed, depressed heap. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo rushed over to the open ponyhole. “Button? Are ya alright…?” Apple Bloom asked tentatively. “Uh… I think I’ll need to eat a whole roll of breath mints after this, but I’ll live…” Button replied, “… I hope…” “How’s the sewer look?” Scootaloo asked. “I don’t know!” Button shouted back. “It’s pitch black down here…I think…I think I’m likely to be eaten by a grue…” Button added with a touch of concern in his voice. “Oh, right…” Scootaloo turned to her white unicorn friend, “Sweetie Belle?” Sweetie Belle sighed as her horn glowed green once more, a flashlight emerged from her saddlebag and floated over to Scootaloo. Scootaloo grabbed the flashlight out of the air and peered into blackness once more. “Here Button Mash, catch!” Scootaloo called out as she dropped the Flashlight. ‘Bonk.’ Apple Bloom and Scootaloo winced slightly. “OUCH! Got it…let me just…” ‘Click’ “AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” Sweetie Belle suddenly shot to her feet and rushed over to the hole. “We have to help him!” she cried. Scootaloo sighed, “I was afraid you were going to say that…” “He’d do the same for any of us!” Sweetie Belle insisted. “She’s got us there,” Apple Bloom said, motioning out to Sweetie Belle. “NOW I KNOW WHAT SADNESS LOOKS LIKE!” Button screamed. “HOLD ON BUTTON!” Sweetie Belle shrieked into the hole. “We’re coming!” she wasted no time lowering herself, back legs first, into the hole and climbing down the ladder.  ‘Clang, Clang…’ Scootaloo and Apple Bloom followed. ‘Clang, Clang…’ “Whoops…” Apple Bloom uttered as her hoof slipped on a ladder rung. She slid. “Ooof…” Scootaloo grunted as the Apple Bloom fell into her. She, likewise, lost her footing. “EEK!” Sweetie Belle cried as her two friends crashed into her. ‘Splash!’ “AAAAAAAAH! NOW THE SEWER IS TRYING TO DROWN ME!” Button Mash shouted as he surfaced from the murky depths of the watery sewer. “Wait! Button! It’s just us!” Sweetie Belle assured. “Oh…Hi, Sweetie Belle…” “BLECH!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, “It does taste like sadness…” “ELCH!” Scootaloo cried. “I CAN’T GET THE TASTE OUT OF MY MOUTH!” “Uhhh…anypony seen the flashlight?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Erm… I think I dropped it,” Button said sheepishly. “Wait… I think I got it…” Scootaloo said as she lifted her forehooves out of the dregs. “Huh…kinda squishy for a flashlight…AAAHHH!” Scootaloo suddenly screamed and dropped the item in her hooves. “Well, we can’t inspect the sewer without some sort of light source…” Apple Bloom said. “Should I dive down and look for the flashlight?” Button asked. “NO!” replied the three fillies. “’Kay…” “Wait…” Sweetie Belle said, “I bet I could use my magic to…” A green light emitted from Sweetie Belle’s horn, slowly growing brighter and brighter. “There, that should…” “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” The four foals erupted into a chorus of terrified screaming, panicked crying, frantic shrieking, and horrified yelling. -ooooooo- “” Button uttered out in a low, guttural language as he stared off into the distance. He sat in a makeshift bath tub made out of half a wooden barrel. The foamy water slushed around him as Sweetie Belle ran a scrub brush back and forth over the almost catatonic colt’s hair. Sweetie Belle merely pursed her lips together and stared at Button with large, concerned eyes. “Welp, we broke Button…” Scootaloo said, motioning out to the colt.  “He’s not broken!” Sweetie Belle insisted shrilly, “He’s just… uh…” “Traumatized?” Scootaloo suggested. Sweetie Belle sighed, “Yeah…” Apple Bloom shook herself vigorously, spraying the area around her with water. “Poor guy! This was easily one of our top ten worst crusadin’ days we’ve had this month!” She paused and thought for a second, “Hey, maybe we can talk him out of it!” she suggested. “Yeah, we can like…psycho-analyze him, or something…” Scootaloo suggested. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked at each other and grinned, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PSYCHOANALYSERS, YAY!” Button Mash slowly lowered himself in his bath until he was completely submerged in water. Sweetie Belle watched the colt with concerned, then looked up at her two friends. “I think Button has had enough crusading for one day…” she said. “Well, can’t really blame him there…”Apple Bloom said. Sweetie Belle sighed, “I just wish we did at least one thing that was fun and didn’t end in either pain or horrible mental suffering…” “Uh, Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo said. “Yeah, Scootaloo?” “How long can Button hold his breath for?” “How would…” Sweetie Belle turned back to the barrel as concerned eyes opened wide and stared into the soapy water. She leaned forward and thrust her forearms into the water, then fished out the brown colt. Button coughed and sputtered. “Uh… hey… Button Mash…” Sweetie Belle said tentatively. “Cough…cough… Yeah, Sweetie Belle?” “I’m really sorry about pretty much everything that’s happened to you today…” “Oh, that’s alright Sweetie Belle, I had fun.” Button replied. “Really?” Sweetie Belle the slightest hints of hope entering into her voice. “…No.” Button admitted. Sweetie Belle whimpered quietly in reply. “Uh… “ Button Mash looked up at the sky. The sun touched the horizon as Celestia slowly put away the heavenly body for the night. “…Hey, I better get going, my mom will start to worry if I’m out too late.” Sweetie Belle nodded, “Sure, Button…” Button hopped out of the barrel and shook himself, water flew in all directions off his hair, mane, and tail. He turned towards a tree, his beanie and saddlebags were leaned neatly against it. Sweetie Belle followed Button with her eyes, a melancholy expression plastered on her face. “Ah, man… we are the worst friends ever…” Scootaloo uttered. “I jus’ wish there was something we could do!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. Sweetie Belle’s eyes suddenly shot open. “I have an idea!” she cried. “Uh-oh…” Apple Bloom and Scootaloo said in unison. Sweetie Belle quickly scanned the orchard and spotted a tree with a large, natural hole in the center of its trunk. She sprinted for it, thrust a forehoof into the hole, and began rummaging her hoof around in it. “Come on…come on…YES!” Sweetie Belle cried triumphantly as she fished a pink ball with a blue stripe going around it. She turned towards the brown colt. “Hey, Button!” she called out. Button paused as he reached the tree and turned towards Sweetie Belle. “Catch!” Sweetie Belle said as she tossed the rubber ball at Button. Button instinctively reached out his forehooves and caught the ball in his arms. He looked down at it, then looked back up at Sweetie Belle and smiled. “Go long!” he cried as he raised the ball in a forehoof. Sweetie Belle giggled and began putting more distance between herself and the colt. Button Mash tossed the ball at Sweetie Belle. Sweetie Belle paused, then dove to her side, catching the ball before she hit the ground and slid. “Nice one!” Button shouted out. Sweetie Belle raised to her hooves and giggled to herself as she held the ball under one of her forehooves. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo quickly grinned at each other. “Throw it to me! Throw it to me!” Scootaloo cried excitedly. Sweetie Belle turned to the orange pegasus and sent the ball sailing Scootaloo-ward. Scootaloo leaped into the air, rapidly flapping her wings as she caught the ball and landed back on her hooves. “Scootaloo! Over here!” Apple Bloom called out, having ran a bit from her former position. Scootaloo grinned and tossed the ball over to the yellow pony. Apple Bloom stood up on her back legs and caught the ball in her arms. “Me next! Me next!” Button Mash said excitedly. Apple Bloom threw the ball to the brown colt. The four foals continued to throw the ball back and forth between them. They caught it sometimes, missed it others, but smiled and laughed the entire time. -ooooooo- Love Tap stared outside the kitchen window and pursed her lips as hints of concern began to slowly creep into her features. Celestia had lowered the sun out of view and her sister had begun to raise the moon. Oh, he knows I don’t like when he’s out this late… Don’t tell me he’s still playing that Joy Boy of his… Love Tap thought. Maybe I should go out and look for him, it’s starting to get really dark out and… “MoOoOoOoOoOM! I’m home!” Love Tap breathed a sigh of relief and trotted out into the hall. “Button, you shouldn’t stay out so late, you had me-OH MY GOSH BUTTON! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!” Love Tap looked her son up and down. His skin was puffy and swollen, there were purple patches of some sort of stain spread across his hair, his mane was a mess, and on top of everything else, he had mud and dust smeared all over him. “Oh,” Button replied with a smile, “well, first I met up with Sweetie Belle and her friends and then we went base jumping…” --Love Tap’s eyes shot open wide as she knitted her brow together-- “…and then we all ended up in a thorn-berry bush. So, because that didn’t work, we went bungee jumping…” --One of Love Tap’s eyes began to twitch-- “… but that turned out to be ridiculously terrifying, so we tried beekeeping instead…” --Love Tap gritted her teeth-- “…but we got stung like…a million times and had to try something else, so then Sweetie Belle suggested  we go sewer inspecting…” --Love Tap’s face flushed red as her lips twisted and contorted her mouth into a rageful grimace-- “… and then we all needed a bath after that, and I was gonna come home, but then Sweetie Belle started playing catch with me and then we were all playing catch, but it was getting dark and Sweetie Belle insisted she walk me home.” Button stepped aside revealing a petrified Sweetie Belle who stared up at Love Tap with wide, scared eyes, the unicorns pupils the size of pinpricks. Love Tap looked Sweetie Belle up and down. The white unicorn sported the same bumps, stains, and messy appearance of her son. Sweetie Belle gulped as she gazed into Love Tap’s angry eyes. That’s it, I’m dead… She thought to herself. There’s no way Button’s Mom is going to let me go after hearing all that… and I never even got my cutie mark… Love Tap paused, taking note of Sweetie Belle’s absolutely terrified expression. “Heh…pffft…heheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!” Love Tap erupted into a fit of laughter. Oh no! Sweetie Belle thought to herself. She’s already thinking what she’s going to do to me and laughing maniacally. “What’s so funny, mom?” Button Mash asked “Hehehehehe…” Love Tap slowly gained control over her laughter, “…Sorry, I just remembered all the trouble I’d used to get your father in when I was the same age as you two…hehehe…” She turned to Sweetie Belle, “Come in Sweetie Belle, it’s okay… I won’t bite.” The tan mare said with a grin. Sweetie Belle breathed a sigh of relief and walked into the house. “You really got Button Mash’s dad in trouble when you were my age?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Oh, all the time!” Love Tap said rolling her eyes. “Though…I think I spaced things out a bit more than you…” she admitted. Sweetie Belle blushed and grinned sheepishly. “Why don’t you two go up and play some video games?” Love Tap suggested. “I’ll quickly go out tell your sister you’re staying for dinner. Besides, she’ll have a conniption if she sees you like that.” Sweetie Belle smiled. “Thank you!” “Yay!” Button Mash cried. “Come on Sweetie Belle! I still have lots and lots of video games to show you.” The two foals immediately galloped for the stairs, excitedly rushing towards Button’s bedroom. Love Tap shook her head and giggled to herself, as she watched her son and his best friend disappear into the house. -ooooo- “No, Sweetie Belle… watch out for the saws, the saws…” The display’s speakers erupted into a number of low, menacing tones. ‘Doom, doom, doom, doom…’ “Awww…I died again…” Sweetie Belle moaned. “Oh, that’s okay…” Button said with a smile. “I’m still having fun.” “Really?” Sweetie Belle asked hopefully. Button Mash nodded, “Yep!” “Good,” Sweetie Belle said, “I’m having fun, too…uh hey, Button Mash?” “Yeah, Sweetie Belle?” Sweetie Belle nervously looked around the room. Her cheeks flushed crimson as she leaned in close to the brown colt. She pursed her lips and placed a small peck on Button’s cheek. “Thanks for trying to protect me…” Button’s eyes shot open wide before rolling back into his head. “Uwhawawawa…” he uttered as he collapsed backwards, staring up at the ceiling with a distant, glazed expression. “Button?!” Sweetie Belle cried as she frantically nudged the colt. “Should I not have done that?! Oblivious to the world around him, Button simply continued to stare up at the ceiling. His lips began to retreat to the sides of his mouth and pull up in a big, wide smile. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if mom makes me marry Sweetie Belle… “Button!” Sweetie Belle continued to call out in a panicked tone. “What did I do?! WHAT DID I DO?!”