//------------------------------// // Bronze Armor: Reminder // Story: Imbalanced // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// [Blazing's Entry] Good news. I think I'm having a positive influence on my group of recruits, or at least one of them. Heavy Hoof came to the next session more bruised and battered than normal but a complaint about him, which came from the infirmary, about four other ponies who won't be moving at least a week, lightened my mood significantly. The best part was when I saw the looks of the other recruits. They may still have some problems with him but they definitely won't think he's a sissy ever again. That time the bruises were on at least five others from my group and Heavy's proud expression is something to keep me warm at night. One against probably ten and he won, crazy. I have a personal problem of my own now though. Choking managed to delay my patrol shifts long enough for me to come to terms with teaching the newbies but she can't do it much longer. Pretty soon I'll have to start pounding the flagstones of Canterlot at night on doubles to fill my monthly patrol hours. [End Entry] "That sucks," I complain to the only pony willing to listen. "I know but I can't do much more about it. If I switch the shifts around more then everypony will accuse me of patronage. I'm sorry but it begins the day after tomorrow," says Choking apologetically and I understand her position completely. It doesn't make things easier though. As it turns out there is a lot more to guard's life than just doing one specific of his job he's good at. Every single pony has to spend a certain amount of hours patrolling around Canterlot or some high-priority landmark to make the citizens feel safer and to get to know the layout of the city. I REALLY do understand since I got lost pretty bad multiple times after arriving here for the first time but the schedule means I'm not going to be sleeping much until the end of the month. "Yeah I know. I'm just thinking about how to do it. I mean I have my morning lesson, paperwork, afternoon lesson and then I have to squeeze in twelve hours of patrolling and some sleep." "I hate to say it but it's your own fault. You've been doing well with the recruits for quite some time and still refused to do the rest." "I know damn well it's my own freaking fault. I'm not dumb enough to start blaming you, bad fortune or the weather but that just makes it harder, you know?" "Calm down. I can take over your evening lessons, Luna knows I'm there most of the time and some leadership practice might be useful. You're gonna owe me though." I don't even try to negotiate anything despite that what she's offering actually changes nothing for her as she's been spending that part of her free time like that anyway. "Well, thanks," I say really meaning it but it comes out completely wrong. "Hey-" she begins angrily. I put my front legs up in defense. "I mean it. It just has to sink in a bit." She seems to pipe down a little. Sulking isn't her strong side though and her usual liveliness wins again. "Well it starts the day after tomorrow so why don't you have some fun first? There's a small party tonight and I'd like to invite you... as a guest this time," she explains when she notices my exploring look and remembers the last time something like this happened. I know she's a party animal but I'm not and nothing about that really changed in last three months. "Eeh, no thanks. I'm not really interesting and I'd much rather spend my time sleeping so I don't die of exhaustion when 'it' begins." "Don't be silly. You are the best hoof-to-hoof fighter in the guard, you have plenty of ponies to talk about and a lot of interesting things happened to you since we first met. Also, you personally met one of the princesses. Not everypony can say that." "Do I have to remind you she interrogated me because she thought I was a monster and almost a murderer?" She waves her hoof dismissingly. "Details details. You don't have to tell an interested listener EVERYTHING, just focus on the important parts." "That seems pretty important to me." "Important means 'helpful to continue the conversation' or 'helpful to get into bed together'." I often DO imagine me and some mare (and recently a stallion from time to time) together in bed but my brain just doesn't cope well with the image and reality working in tandem. "That doesn't matter anyway because I'm not going." "Yes you are," she smiles widely. And with that my resistance ends. It's not that I dislike parties as such but my experience usually doesn't involve me in any way other than a listener. And I like that, I enjoy listening to other ponies' stories but in an environment where everypony is supposed to participate I kind of don't feel right and sooner or later others notice and I'm left sitting in a corner drinking cheap wine. But that is my problem and not theirs so why not have a bit of fun while it lasts and leave when nopony notices? That would make her happy and wouldn't bother me that much since I don't really know anypony aside from her, Sharp and the friendlier of my recruits. Nothing to lose, right? I wish I believed that's the case. I have to show Choking a dictionary some time and tell her that 'small' doesn't mean fifty ponies. Then I have to beat her to death with it. I suppose there are some good points though. There's an open bar, the entrance fee was pretty meager and the estabilishment called 'Lucky Horseshoe' is, while full of smoking ponies, clean and the fullness just means it's hard to notice me. "Wha'll it be, monster-thingy?" asks the bartender, an older unicorn whose coat is grey, probably from all the smoke hanging in the air. "I don't know, have you got wine?" "We've got e'rything for ya fine ladies here. Wine, vanilla cigs, even a clean toilet downstairs." He must be joking or do I really look like that? Maybe. You DO have pretty slim waist despite all the training. Decent rump too. Do I have hots for myself or what? Just saying. The bartender brings an unmarked bottle of hopefully wine and a small violet package. I have no interest in talking to him so I just pay for both and look as invisible as possible sitting at one of the corner tables. The chair is too hard, the music too obnoxious, the table too high and the happy, social conversations around me depressingly too loud. Maybe it's for the best though. If everypony's having fun, they won't bother looking for another source. I look at the package. There used to be a lot of smokers around me in schools but I've never found the smell of used, rolled up socks particularly endearing. I've also never seen a black cigarette (although my experience, as noted before, is somewhat lacking) before opening the package. There is also a pack of matches inside inviting me to go further. Why not? Maybe it's the wine in my gut which seems to be running out dangerously quickly without me remembering drinking it or maybe it's the attempts of some pony at one of the other tables at wooing one of the mares sitting around him with stories of his exploits but my disgust at the package is draining away quite fast. Damn it, mares outnumber stallions in Equestria more than five to one and that guy is the best example of how things are and of what I hate. He's lucky enough to have four of them fighting over him and he's still juggling them JUST FOR FUN. That bottle of wine disappeared pretty fast. Yea, must be a hole in there somewhere. I try to focus on a different conversation and thanks to my unnatural hearing it's possible. It's the same everywhere though, mares trying to win over a stallion just for one evening or for a chance of a lifetime. Black depression winning, I light one of the cigarettes and breathe in the fumes. It tastes amazing. The vanilla flavor soothes all past wounds, all memories of being laughed at and for a second I feel like a new pony. It all fades though, just like the drink and just like everything used to pass the time and the reality drips in again. Coming here was a mistake but it's a punishment I deserve for forgetting who I am. Sizing up the couples and even harems around the 'perfect' stallions I begin my way to the exit. "Look where you're going, drunk, or I'll tell your mommy to spank you," says somepony when I step on his hoof and the group of mares around him laugh at his display of dominance. I was wrong. Coming here was a good idea. There are winners and losers and I forgot who I was. It's something I need to relive from time to time to burn the knowledge in my head. I'm not a winner.