//------------------------------// // Pinkie Pie vs. Princess Luna (30) // Story: Snowflame's Cocaine and/or Coffee Fueled Misadventures in Equestria (Comment Driven Story) // by KenSES64 //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie: Okay, Luna is pretty much a goddess who is now just as insane as you are thanks to all the coffee. So whatever you do. DO NOT STAY STILL AT ALL! NOT EVEN FOR ONE MOMENT! You also have access to hammerspace. So pull impromptu objects from said hammerspace and throw them at Luna. Just keep throwing things at her and whatever you do, WHATEVER YOU DO.... DO NOT GET CLOSE! If you get close to her, she'll pretty much tear you apart with her magic. Keep this strategy in mind and keep her off your back as long as you can. If you somehow manage to lead her into the pool that the Tardis has. Dunk her into the water and see how long you can keep her there. If nothing else, it will get her wings wet so she can't fly. Also how the hell did you get in the TARDIS let alone know where Obito was? Luna: By all accounts this should be pretty much like swatting a fly. She's an earth pony, you're pretty much a goddess. So with that in mind. You have magic. USE IT!!! Pull out EVERY magic trick and attack that you know, and be even surprised yourself how much the coffee seems to amplify your powers (note: It's really not, she's just putting more energy and effort into her attacks so she only THINKS that it's amplifying her power, which it really isn't. Why is this important? Well cause it's gonna make her tired much quicker). If and when Pinkie Pie throws anything at you, just grab it with your magic and throw it back at her. And/or combine it somehow to make an impromptu missile. If this fight somehow ends up in the TARDIS library, then GET THE FCK OUT OF THERE Because even you know the importance of books. And for the coup de grace. Both of You: Include mane pulling at some point. Why? Because this is a cat-fight, you just have to. Obito: See if you can figure out some way to stop these two CRAZY mares from killing each other. As.... well lets be honest here. Enticing, to see as this is, you don't really want them killing each other. As insane as the pink one is, you don't really want her blood on your hands... hooves. Whatever you do though, don't get in the way of Luna's FINAL FLASH! Cause seriously, that'll just obliterate you (please no killing Obito ). There won't even be atoms left. Alright, Luna is hopped up on Liquid Cocaine and has the power of the moon on her side. Pinkie Pie is Pinkie Pie. They are evenly matched. They start tugging on Obito's arms and they slap down Snowflame and Spike when they try to intervene, while the Warrior just watches curiously. Luna fires a bolt of magic at Pinkie, but she dodges it and it hits the console of the TARDIS, thus activating it and sending everyone through time and space. While the TARDIS is flying randomly due to the fight, it crashes into a Hydra and kills it. Pinkie Pie will then use a giant mallet which she pulls out of hammer space and whacks Luna upside the head with it. Luna then takes Spike's chainsaw and revs it up and slices it at Pinkie, and it lops off some of her hair. Pinkie Gasps in anger and then tackles Luna out of the door and into the time vortex. While Snowflame and the rest follow behind unwillingly in the TARDIS. At this point they are just catfighting with bites and hair pulling and punches as they tumble through multiple dimensions. Snowflame: What the hell?! What did Snowflame tell you about you and the Pink Pony?! (Angrily) Obito: I swear to Celestia this isn't my fault. Spike: It doesn't matter, after them Snowflame: Snowflame can't fly this thing! Warrior: Fear not, we ride the waves of Destrucity (Points out the door at vortex) They end up crashing through the Enterprise causing Spock to have a meltdown trying to find logic in two fighting ponies. The vortex then teleports them over the Death Star where it catches Luke's attention, causing him to get shot and not blow up the death star. Then they end up in the Woolie Hole surrounded by a bunch of short haired women shouting Mahvel Time. Pinkie: Oh no, the lair of the pie stealer. I have to get out of here (punches Luna and jumps into glowing vortex as Luna follows) he's not getting this pie. They then teleport into the middle of a crime scene in Miami. Detective Caine: ...I got nothing... CSI Miami Opening: YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! They then land in the middle of the WWE where a big reveal was about to happen. The audience is mesmorized. Vince McMahon sees an opportunity. McMahon: It Was Ponies Austin!!! It was Ponies all along! Their fight starts an all out brawl while they tumble back into the vortex. The Ultimate Warrior wants to join, but the TARDIS doesn't stay for very long. The then tumble into the lair of a James Bond villain and stop Bond from escaping the laser trap and his nuts are burned off by a laser, they sink the Titanic and countless other shenanigans in different dimensions that Ken comes up with. They then land in the middle of Termina where the moon has a big angry face giving Luna more power. She force pushes Pinkie into the tower where she comes to rest at the Happy Mask Salesman's feet. Before Luna can attack further she becomes frozen in the air, Pinkie can't move either. HMS: Well if it isn't a couple of namby pamby ponies ruining my game Luna: What is this? Why can't we move? HMS: Because I will it to, obviously. Pinkie: Oh No! He's a salesman! We're doomed! All salesman are evil! Luna: Release us immediately you evil fiend! HMS: ha ha ha, I'm not evil, I'm just incredible pissed off at having a HOLE BLOWN IN MY GODDAMNED WALL!!! He begins choking Luna HMS: I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU! SUFFER! SUFFER YOU SON OF A BITCH SUFFFFEEERRR!!!! (Stops choking) and let that be a warning to you Luna: You beast! You could of choked me to death! HMS: and if you piss me off again, I'll finish the job, and take your pink friend here with you. Luna: How do you have so much power? HMS: Because reality is my bitch, and I keep my pimp hand strong. Pinkie: I told you salesman are evil! The Tardis shows up but he stops it as well. He then opens the door and throws Pinkie and Luna into it. HMS: Alright, I'm sending you back to your own place and time. Don't come back again because I won't just kill you...I'll rape you Luna/Pinkie: WHAT? OH MY... HMS: Mentally... Luna: Oh... Pinkie: Well I guess that... HMS: And physically! Luna/Pinkie: Why! HMS: At the same time Luna/Pinkie: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Snaps his fingers and the TARDIS ends up floating over the Everfree forest. Once they find out they are unfrozen, the two tackle eachother again, but luckily Snowflame and Spike are able to pull them apart. Pinkie: He's mine! Luna: No Mine! Pinkie: Mine! Luna: Mine! Warrior: ENOUGH YOU DIVAS, THIS FORCED FARCE HAS GONE ON TOO LONG!!! They look to the Warrior. Warrior: Look at this limp noodle slice of beef jerky, I mean really look at him (points at Obito who just nervously waves) Warrior: I've had Slim Jims thicker than this putz, and you two are seriously going to fight over him?! (Obito feels demeaned) Pinkie: well, he is rather decent looking Luna: he...is male Warrior: You two can do a hell of a lot better!!! You are only experiencing the unholy high of loneliness and desperation!!! Luna: But I haven't been laid in a thousand years!!! (Whining) Pinkie: and I've never really hung out with a male pony that wasn't related to me or the girls Warrior: IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! When you're hungry you think all food looks good, but you can't settle for substitution beef (Points at Obito), you have to wait for the premium stuff that costs extra, the stuff that doesn't come with coupons! Only then will you be satisfied. Everyone is speechless at the Warrior's Words Snowflame: Wow, deep bro. Spike: Ya...for you that is. Warrior: I have my moments! (Skronk) Pinkie: I guess he's right...I'm sorry princess Luna Luna: As am I...but still...a thousand years... Obito: Ummm...If it helps the situation, I actually already have a girlfriend. Everyone: WHAT!!!! Snowflame: You couldn't have said that sooner?! Obito: Ummm... Snowflame: Go to your room (Points down corridor) Obito: What room? I don't have... Snowflame: Go to it... Obito bitterly goes to his "room" walking deeper into the TARDIS. Luna: Well I feel like an idiot now Pinkie: Me too Snowflame: Well Snowflame thinks we've all learned a valuable lesson here today. Luna: Right, don't desperately fight your friends Pinkie: Especially over a guy. Snowflame: No, the lesson is that we don't know how to fly this thing. TARDIS decides to fly around uncontrollably around Equestria Pinkie grabs onto one of Obito's forelegs, Luna then grabs the other, and Ttey start tugging on Obito's forelegs. Snowflame, The Warrior and Spike enter then undisclosed TARDIS room and see this sight. "Umm a little help here?" Obito says. STAY OUT OF THIS!!! Pinkie and Luna both hissed at the three of them simultaneously. They both throw Obito to the side, and Luna fires a bolt of magic at Pinkie, but she dodges it. Pinkie Pie will then use a giant mallet which she pulls out of hammer space and whacks Luna upside the head with it. Luna rools a few feet, then she takes Spike's chainsaw and revs it up and slices it at Pinkie, and it lops off some of her hair. Pinkie Gasps in anger and then tackles Luna out of the door and into the time vortex and they just disappear. "What the hell?! What did Snowflame tell you about you and the Pink Pony?!" Snowflame says to Obito angrily. "I swear to Celestia this isn't my fault." Obiot tells him. "It doesn't matter, after them." Spike says. "Snowflame can't fly this thing!" Snowflame says "Fear not, we ride the waves of Destrucity!" The Warrior says pointing out the door at vortex. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the Star Trek Universe... Pinkie and Luna keep punching each other and pulling each other in one of the hallways of the Enterprise, they soon disappear followed by the TARDIS. Nearby Spock, who witnessed this, is about to have a meltdown trying to find logic in two fighting ponies. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the Star Wars Universe... The vortex then teleports them over the Death Star where it catches Luke's attention, while he is distracted by two fighting ponies in space his ship ends up getting shot down, crashing into the side of the trench and blowing up ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------. In the Woolie Hole... Then they end up surrounded by a bunch of short haired women shouting "Mahvel Time!", where nearby Blanka and Zubaz are playing Marvel vs. Capcom 3 with custom fightsticks. "Oh no, the lair of the pie stealer. I have to get out of here!", Pinkie says as she punches Luna and jumps into glowing vortex as Luna follows, "He's not getting this pie!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the CSI Universe... They then teleport into the middle of a crime scene in Miami, Luna blast Pinkie with her magic and they disappear into the vortex again. Detective Caine just stares at this and just says, "...I got nothing..." YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In some alternate universe, at a WWE Event They then land in the middle of the wrestling ring, as a big reveal was about to happen. Pinkie bounces off of the rope kicking Luna in the face. Luna grabs a nearby chair with her magic and hits Pinkie in the side of the head with with it. The audience is memorized by this, but Vince McMahon sees an opportunity in this unexpected event, "It Was Ponies Austin! It was Ponies all along!" That's when Luna, Pinkie and the TARDIS disappear again. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the James Bond Universe... The then tumble into the lair of a James Bond villain and this distracts Bond while his strapped to a table with a lazor pointing him, preventing him from escaping the laser trap and his nuts are burned off by a laser, making him scream in horrible, horrible pain. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Termina... They then land in the middle of Termina, where they notice that the moon here has a big angry face. Luna could feel it adding to her more power. She force pushes Pinkie into the tower where she comes to rest at the Happy Mask Salesman's feet. Before Luna can attack further she becomes frozen in the air, Pinkie can't move either. "Well if it isn't a couple of namby pamby ponies ruining my game.", The Happy Mask Salesman says. "What is this? Why can't we move?" Luna asks. "Because I will it to, obviously." "Oh No! He's a salesman! We're doomed! All salesman are evil!" Pinkie shouts. "Release us immediately you evil fiend!" Luna demands. The Happy Mask Salesman laughs and says, "I'm not evil, I'm just incredible pissed off at having a HOLE BLOWN IN MY GODDAMNED WALL!", He begins choking Luna, "I'M GONNA FUCKING MURDER YOU! SUFFER! SUFFER YOU SON OF A BITCH SUFFFFEEERRR!" He stops choking, "And let that be a warning to you." Coughs a bit and says, "You beast! You could of choked me to death!" "and if you piss me off again, I'll finish the job, and take your pink friend here with you." "How do you have so much power?" "Because reality is my bitch, and I keep my pimp hand strong." "I told you salesman are evil!" Pinkie says. The TARDIS shows up but he stops it as well. He then opens the door and throws Pinkie and Luna into it. "Alright, I'm sending you back to your own place and time. Don't come back again because I won't just kill you...I'll rape you..." "WHAT? OH MY..." Pinkie and Luna both says. "Mentally..." "Oh..." Luna says. "Well I guess that..." Pinkie begins to say. "And physically!" He adds. "Why?!" The two mare ask. "At the same time." "NOOOOOOOO!" He snaps his fingers and the TARDIS ends up sitting over the Everfree forest. Once they find out they are unfrozen, the two tackle eachother again, but luckily Snowflame and Spike are able to pull them apart. "He's mine!" Pinkie shouts "No Mine!" Luna shouts back. "Mine!" "Mine!" "ENOUGH YOU DIVAS, THIS FORCED FARCE HAS GONE ON TOO LONG!" The Warriors shouts. They all look to the Warrior. "Look at this limp noodle slice of beef jerky, I mean really look at him!" He points at Obito who just nervously waves. "I've had Slim Jims thicker than this twig, and you two are seriously going to fight over him?! " "HEY!" Obiot shouts, "Well, he is rather decent looking." Pinkie says. "He...is male." Luna adds. "You two can do a hell of a lot better! You are only experiencing the unholy high of loneliness and desperation!" The Warrior says. "But I haven't been laid in a thousand years!" Luna whining. "And I've never really hung out with a male pony that wasn't already married, or related to me or the girls." Pinkie says. "IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! When you're hungry you think all food looks good, but you can't settle for substitution beef, you have to wait for the premium stuff that costs extra, the stuff that doesn't come with coupons! Only then will you be satisfied." "Wow, deep bro." Snowflame says. "Ya...for you that is." Spike adds. "I have my moments! *Skronk*" The Warrior says. "I guess he's right...I'm sorry Princess Luna." "As am I...but still...a thousand years..." Luna says. "Wait I have an idea!" Pinkie shouts, before whispering into Luna's ear, which not long after she smiles then nods in agreement. "So it's a deal then." Pinkie says. "Ummm... What deal?" Obito asks. "We won't fight over you..." Luna begains to say. "We're going to share you." Pinkie adds. "I get you Monday to Wednesday..." "And I get you Thursday to Saturday..." "And we'll alternate on Sundays.", They then say at the same time. "Do I get a say in this?" Obito ask. "No." They both say, grabbing him by the forelegs and taking him into another room. The remaining three just stare at what just happened. "I don't think they listened to me." The Warrior says. "Well let's just leave them alone for now." Spike says. "Indeed, now help Snowflame figure out how to fly this thing." Snowflame says.