//------------------------------// // Equestria, dood. // Story: Welcome to Equestria, dood. // by Fusion Fool the 3rd //------------------------------// I had a nap, and went to my computer at one thirty in the morning, dood, couldn't go back to sleep so I checked my new story, the comments inspired me to make this chapter, dood. I really hope it goes well. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You know dood, none of Lord Valvatorez's(Valvatorez'?) prinny training has prepared us for what we have found, dood. Instead of corpses, indecent expsoure, and murder, we found bright colours, beautiful scenary, and innocence, dood. There was still indecent exposure, but they were ponies, dood, so who gave a crap? "It's so beautiful, dood." said Master Cupcake, I turned to his direction to see him crying tears of joy. I can't blame him, dood, We were all crying these same tears. Mr. Kamikaze and Golden Shower tried to hide it though. "The air here is so clean dood, no pollution, no blood, and no rifle demon trying to us one of as a urinal, dood." said Super Pal, and we all know we can go without that past added, it was a dark part of our time in the Netherworld, dood. Is that why Golden Shower is brown though? Considering what has happened to us many years ago while we were prinnies, dood? "What are we waiting for, dood? A invitation? We must go and find Lady Sparkle, dood!" Yelled Mr. Kamikaze, we all nodded in agreement as we dried our manly prinny tears, dood(cause it's more manly then any Armored Knight's or Bouncer's tears) and started our trek to the Library! Every pony was staring at us, dood. "What are those?", "Are they from Everfree?", "They look mean." "My hoof hurts." "They better not cause trouble." ...is what they say behind our backs, as we strolled through to the library, and found out rather quickly that we got lost in Ponyville, dood. How embarrassing, dood. "Hi, what are you? I'm Pinkie Pie the party pony, and I know every pony in Ponyville, but I don't know what or who you are that must mean your new to all of Equestria, oh this is so fun, lets throw a party! Because parties are fun, and super, and great, and wow!" Pinkie came out of F-yay-king nowhere and said all that within the span of 5 seconds, we had to restrain Super Pal at the mention of party, dood. "Thank you Ms. Pie, but can you direct us to the library, dood? we have a destiny to fulfill." I asked with some fear in my voice, part of me wanted to talk to Pinkie more, the other and more populated part of me was scared of Pinkie Pie, all of us prinnies have read Cupcakes, dood, and needless to say, we don't want that happening to us. She still looked happy and none of us see a meat cleaver or a hacksaw on her, dood. "Oh a big destiny? Like the Elements of Harmony? or like how Valzy is going to rule the Netherworld, or was it Laharl? I can't remember, that gives me a idea for my next party, a world domination party! But then I don't think the princess' would approve of that, unless they were taking over Equestria, but that's silly since they already have it." I think Mr. Kamikaze's brain blew a fuse, dood. And I still wonder how she learned of the nickname Miss Fuka came up with for Lord Valvatorez, and of Lord Laharl. Party idea seemed neat, dood. Pinkie grabbed me, all the others tried to protect me form my fate in the oven of Sergeant Sprinkles, as she dragged all 5 of us to... The Library? "Here it is, My friend Twilight lives her, and loves to read. Ok enjoy." As she walked off, we looked at the home of our new master, and more manly tears were shed, dood. I moved up to the door, raised a flipper, and knocked on the door to our peaceful servitude as we metaphorically flip off the door to our cruel servitude, dood. "I'm coming, hold on a second." Oh my god, oh my god, wait, isn't it Sweet Celestia now dood? Sweet Celestia, Sweet Celestia, Twilight Sparkle is coming to answer the door! The door opened to reveal, a lizard of our height with purple scales and green spikes, with a light-green underbelly, this wasn't Twilight, dood, this was Spike. "Who are you guys?" He asked. I coughed to reform my composure and to look like the more important prinny of the group. "My name is Fusion Fool the Third, dood, and me and my fellow prinnies have come from Hades to serve under Twilight Sparkle, as her vassals, dood." He gave us a 'Are you serious, dood' look before turning back into the library, "Hey Twilight, whats a vassal?" A voice is heard from the next room over form the main one we see now, dood. "A pony that has entered the services of a lord or monarch, basically the Princess' servants and guardsponies." Spike became even more confused, "But Twilight isn't either of those things, did the Princess sent you? No, she'd send us a letter ahead of time. Princess Luna?" Spike asked us, dood. "We have come on our own accord to serve Twilight, dood." Super Pal said behind me. "But then what about your current lord? I don't think vassals can change their lords just because they fell like it." Spike told us. We stood our ground. "We ran away from Hades to live in Equestria as Twilight Sparkle's servants, you happy now that we spilled our guts, dood? Does that make you feel more of a man, dood?" Said Golden Shower as he tried to intimidate Spike, dood, didn't work too well, it surprised him. Then we saw our Lady walk in to the main room, that lavender coat, that blue hair, those streaks, that horn that has saved Celestia knows how many ponies from morgue, and dat star spangled plot, dood. This is our destiny, dood, our destiny is to kiss Twilight's hooves. "Who are they, Spike? I don't think I have ever read of them before." I push by Spike and Golden Shower to introduce the group. "My name is Fusion Fool the Third, dood, and me and my fellow prinnies have come from Hades to serve under you, Master Twilight, please allow us to serve." I bowed, the rest of my crew did the same, Lady Sparkle was surprised by what we did. "Anywhere you go, we'll follow you down, but not that far, dood!" We all yelled. Our new master and her assistant were speechless. And even more manly tears were shed as we now attempted to live in harmony, in the best gig any prinny could ask for in the Netherworld, working under a Master that was nice, understanding, and had more magic in her horn then most unicorns do in their entire bodies, and we had the honor to serve her and read all the books we wanted, dood. Next Episode! Fusion Fool: A great darkness has taken hold over Sugarcube Corner, dood. Pinkie Pie: NOT MY CUPCAKES! Fusion Fool: The ruthless butcher has made one mistake though, dood, kidnapping our hero's athletic lover, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash: What? Who's my lover? Golden Shower: Us. Twilight Fan-Prinnies, dood. I am not going to repeat myself. Fusion Fool: Hell's Greatest Detective! Twilight Sparkle, is here to arrest the insane Pinkamina and end the string of Cupcake murders, dood! Twilight: First off, I'm a Detective now? Second, why is Pinkie killing ANYTHING? That isn't like her. Pinkie Pie: What... I'm going to... kill Dashie? Rainbow Dash: And I thought Pinkie's imagination was wild, you little guys are nuts. Fusion Fool: Next Episode: "The Cupcakes stop falling, dood!" Everypony is safe with Twilight on the case. Twilight Sparkle: As true as that statement is, why is Pinkie killing Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie: But... I don't wanna kill Dashie. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Many Manly tears were shed in this chapter, dood. If the chapters keep coming, I might run out of steam, so I'll probably delay the next update until next week (monday-tuesday-ish), if this chapter is any better. Cheers, dood. On a side note, THANK YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH FOR COMMENTING! that is all, dood.