Applejack froze. An electric tingle ran up the back of her apple-bucking hoof. She turned her head, a dangerous glint in her eye as she looked at the pair of colts snickering on the corner.
“You wanna repeat that?” she rumbled.
The colts glanced at one another. “We didn't say nothin',” said one.
“Yeah, keep walking,” said the other.
Pinkie Pie put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. “Come on, we don't wanna be late to our party! Well, I mean, it won't be our party until we get there, so it's not like we can be late, but if we take too long getting there, the cake will get crusty and the soda will go flat!” Her voice was as chipper and pink as it ever was, but there was a strain at the corners of her lips as she smiled.
Applejack wheeled around to face the colts. “I don't take kindly to liars,” she snarled, advancing on them. “I heard exactly what y'all said. Somethin' about my marefriend's head an' a box of rocks. That sound like the highlights of the conversation to you?” Her tail swished left to right in irritation.
Pinkie tugged more insistently on Applejack. “Come on, A.J. Leave them alone.”
“These boys are bein' disrespectful of ya, Pinkie,” Applejack said. “I ain't gonna stand for it. They need to apologize.”
“C-come on,” sputtered one of the colts. “It was just something funny! You like funny things, don't you, Pinkie?”
“Funny?” bellowed Applejack, rearing up. “You think insultin' somepony behind her back is funny?”
“Applejack, stop,” cried Pinkie, but her plea went unheeded.
Applejack spun around, cocking back her hindleg just the way she did when she was bucking trees. “I'll show ya just how funny a box of rocks can be when you're eatin' the cobblestones!”
A hoof connected with a face, but it was neither the hoof nor the face Applejack expected. She fell backwards onto her haunches. She felt a warm throbbing in her cheek. “P-Pinkie?”
Pinkie Pie gave the two colts a fractured, unhappy smile. “If you go to Sugarcube Corner right now,” she told them, “and tell Mr. and Mrs. Cake I sent you, they'll give you both a free cupcake. Okay?”
The colts exchanged looks and ran off in the direction of the bakery.
Applejack numbly rubbed her swelling cheek. “W-why, Pinkie?” Confused tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “Why'd you hit me?”
Pinkie knelt down in the street and threw her forelegs over her. She buried her muzzle deep in Applejack's mane. Applejack could feel her marefriend's chest rise and fall against hers.
“I just want to make ponies happy,” Pinkie said quietly. “If they're laughing at me, they're still laughing. That's all I want.”