//------------------------------// // Chapter 3 // Story: Orderly Chaos // by FoughtDragon01 //------------------------------// For quite some time, Twilight believed that her situation couldn’t get any worse, what, with being trapped in an endless loop and all. But as that gray, mismatched draconequus slithered his way through her shattered window—which he had better pay for!—she knew that she was sorely, sorely mistaken. Discord stood up, towering over Spike and Twilight as he smiled down on the pair. Though it was an odd thing to notice, Twilight couldn’t help but note that the dastardly spirit of chaos was looking oddly out of breath, as though he just finished running. “I bet you weren’t expecting to see me today,” Discord said, leaning on her table. Though the table gave slightly under his weight, neither the unicorn nor the dragon even glanced up at him as they continued with their meal. That didn’t necessarily mean that Twilight didn’t have an answer. That’s putting it lightly, she thought. Unfortunately, despite his impressive, chaotic repertoire, mind-reading was not amongst Discord’s list of skills. As far as he was concerned, Twilight gave him a shoulder colder than a windigo’s freezer. He hardly took the gesture politely, if his annoyed frown was any indicator. “Oh, come now. I know that you and I aren’t on the best of terms, but that’s no reason to be rude. Hmph. And ponies say I’m the bad one.” He still received no response from the unicorn. Instead, she finished the last of her meal, promptly levitating the empty plate over to the sink. “That was delicious, Spike.” The dragon grinned, hopping out of his seat, his own empty plate in hand. “Glad you liked it.” Discord merely rolled his eyes as the cheery scene played out before him. “Oh, now you’re just being inconsiderate,” he chided, not that Twilight reacted in the slightest, as much as she wanted to. Oh, believe me. I wish I could give you a piece of my mind right now, she thought. Discord hovered next to Twilight as the alicorn trotted back into the lobby, rubbing his beard in faux contemplation. “Oh, I see,” he finally said, a grin spreading from ear to ear. “You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you? Well, if you want it that badly, then you can have it.” He promptly reached down and gripped a leg. He gave it a nice tug, only to grunt in pain as the limb refused to pop off. “Oh, for goodness’ sake. What now?” he asked, exasperated. He tried the same trick again with one of his arms to no avail. “Well, that’s just…” Against his better judgment, he gripped his head before giving it a hard yank. Though Twilight wasn’t looking directly at him, she still heard his neck crack loud and clear. “Ack! Oh, that hurt!” Discord blurted out, snapping his head back into place. What’s wrong with Discord? Twilight thought to herself. She knew something must’ve been wrong when someone failing to detach their own limbs was actually cause for concern. At first, she believed that he was the cause of all this; it certainly wouldn’t have been much of a surprise. Yet, he seemed just as clueless as she was. Literally, out of the loop. After working out the kinks in his neck, Discord set his eyes back on the alicorn as she sat at her desk. Twilight heard the old spirit huff in irritation as he crossed his arms. “So this is the welcome that I can expect now, hmm? I run all the way from Canterlot to see you, and you don’t even give me the time of day.” The more that he spoke, the further Twilight’s curious mental eyebrow rose. Wait. He ran? Why would he run? So many questions swirling around in her mind. If only she could actually ask them. “Why, if I didn’t know better,” Discord continued. “I’d think that you don’t enjoy my company. It’s enough to bring a tear to my eye.” Twilight mentally winced when she heard Discord snap his fingers, no doubt ready to conjure whatever chaotic whims he had in mind. Yet while that was undoubtedly his intention, Twilight didn’t hear nor feel any magical flash, as though nothing happened. She promptly heard another series of snaps, each one growing in frustration until she heard the spirit yield with an exasperated sigh. “Hmph. Oh, well. I need to practice crying on cue anyway,” he said, placing his handkerchief-less hands behind his back. “So, Twilight,” he calmly began, pacing behind the alicorn as she feverishly read through the same four hundred eighty-seven pages of the same textbook for the eighth time in a row, “is there any particular reason for this wondrously warm welcome?” If there was any more sarcasm crammed into his voice, it’d be dripping from his chin. You have over a thousand years’ worth of wisdom under your belt, Twilight mentally snapped. You figure it out! “Let me guess,” Discord continued, a single talon scratching his chin, “you either don’t want to talk to me or you can’t. Well, am I right?” Technically, it’s both, but you’re on the right track. Though her eyes never left the textbook, Twilight saw Discord’s distinct mug out the corner of her eye as he came uncomfortably close to her face. “Well, I suppose there’s only one way to find out if you’re silent by choice or not.” …Wait, what? Discord slipped out of Twilight’s vision, only to saunter back into it as he approached one of her bookshelves. What are you doing? Casually, as though he was just another customer, he plucked a book from its place on the shelf. After licking a single finger, he flipped through the book’s numerous pages, eyes lazily scanning over the words. “My, my,” he said, faking interest. “This is such a lovely book on…” He glanced at the spine. That fake interest quickly turned genuine as a crooked smile cracked onto his face. “…the Butterfly Effect! Oh, incredible! I didn’t even try this time!” A dreamy sigh passed through his lips before he fixed an impish gaze on the stationary alicorn. “This must be a rather valuable book in your collection. Well preserved. Early edition. Must be centuries old, yes?” Slowly, tauntingly, he gripped a single page in between two fingers. “It would certainly be a shame if something were to happen to it.” If there was one thing that this loop was good at, it was masking the raging emotions rushing through Twilight’s mind at any given time. In this case, if she could, she’d have burned down her library with the fierce glare she was imagining. Don’t. You. Dare. Twilight was certain that she felt a part of herself die a little as she heard the heart-rendering cry of a page as it was cruelly taken away from its leather-bound shelter. The single, worn sheet of paper dangled helplessly from Discord’s talons as the draconequus leered straight at the alicorn, expectant. “Oops.” His eyes slowly widened in amusement as the alicorn didn’t even flinch. Not even in the slightest. Of course, that didn’t necessarily mean that she didn’t react. I’m… I’m going to… I’m going to do… something. Not now, not even soon. But I will do something. Eventually. After an impressive number of seconds ticked by without a response from Twilight, a throaty chuckle left Discord’s lips as he strutted back to the studying alicorn. “So, this is more serious than I thought. Can’t say that I’m surprised. I’m caught in the middle of a rather… awkward situation myself.” Twilight raised a mental eyebrow as the words rang in her head. What is he talking about? “Oh, but now I’m getting ahead of myself. I may enjoy a captive audience as much as the next spirit of chaos, but it’s no fun if the audience ignores me, is it? Let’s fix that. Hopefully, I can still pull this little trick off.” Discord held up a single talon, channeling his chaotic magic into the digit. It wasn’t a large amount; just enough to send sickly green electricity arcing about it. Sly smirk on his face, he the pointed the finger towards the unwitting alicorn. Perhaps he should’ve made her aware of his plan, but that would’ve been nice of him, and he didn’t need anyone thinking that he was getting soft now, did he? Wait, wait, wait. What’s that noi— “OWW!” If Twilight had even the slightest of hopes that the rest of her time with Discord would be pleasant, those hopes were promptly zapped away when she felt a sharp sting jolt through the fleshier parts of her flank. ‘Blindingly furious’ couldn’t even begin to describe the glare she shot the mischievous spirit. “The window. Was. Unlocked!” she snapped. Discord took a single step back from the seething alicorn, though his smirk didn’t lessen in the slightest. “Hmm. So, it was,” he said, glancing back towards the window in question. The damage was hardly catastrophic. Glass shards still littered the floor, counter, sink, and just about everywhere else, though they did glisten in the sunlight, giving the room a sense of divinity. Granted, the trashcan resting in the middle of the room did ruin that illusion a bit, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. It was something that only he could truly appreciate, unlike certain other high-strung purple alicorns that would go unnamed. Regardless, the sight elicited little more than a shrug from the mischievous entity. “Ah, but what can you do?” The fire burning in Twilight’s eyes only grew fiercer as she gestured towards the front door. “You could’ve just walked through the front door!” Evidently, the idea of using the door as a way of entering someone’s home was an alien one to the ancient spirit. Discord looked up at the aforementioned front door, eyebrow raised in confusion. “I thought it was locked.” Twilight’s hoof found its way to her face with a very audible ‘clop’. “It’s a public library,” she slowly explained. “During the day, the front door is always unlocked!” With an interested hum, Discord placed his hands on his hips. “Is that right? Well, you learn something new every day.” A sharp pang of pain shot right through the side of Twilight’s head. An annoyed groan left her lips as she rubbed her head. The headache was already beginning to set it. “You didn’t even try the doorkno—” Were it any other day, any other scenario, Twilight would’ve continued laying right into Discord, but in this particular instance, all of Twilight’s anger flushed away as she made a shocking, almost mind-boggling realization. She was out of the loop. “I’m out of the loop.” “Well, I suppose that makes two of us,” Discord said, crossing his mismatched arms. “Now, would you mind shedding some light on this little situation of ours?” Discord’s words just barely registered in Twilight’s mind as her eyes snapped up to him. “What? No, no, no! You don’t understand.” The spirit cocked a curious eyebrow. “I don’t?” A knowing smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Care to enlighten me then?” Twilight, still frazzled, didn’t even catch on to Discord’s smarmy tone. “I don’t really know when it first started, but… but something made everypony—” “Fall into a seemingly endless loop of daily routines that are about as exciting as the local porridge?” For a few seconds that felt far too long, Twilight just stared at the spirit. Finally, that sly smirk of his finally registered in her mind. Instead of flipping into another annoyed rage, however, her face simply fell flat. “You have something to do with this, don’t you?” Her words may as well have been arrows that pierced Discord to his very soul. With a shocked, melodramatic sigh, the draconequus recoiled, holding his hands up to where his heart was supposed to be. “Twilight! I am hurt that you would even think such a thing!” “I’m right, aren’t I?” Discord’s shocked façade immediately disappeared. “Oh, but of course. But it’s not like I did any of this on purpose. For once.” Despite his not-very-best attempts at appearing innocent, his little charade managed to convince precisely no one. Though he did see a dubious smirk flash across Twilight’s face, so at least he mustered some type of reaction. “Mhmm,” Twilight hummed, her doubt as apparent as the sun against a pitch-black sky. “And what exactly is happening?” Discord took a moment to stroke his chin. “Well… how do I put this in a way that you’ll understand?” If he saw Twilight roll her eyes, he didn’t show it. “There is a very good, one hundred percent possibility that chaos may or may not be disappearing from Equestria.” A chuckle was already leaving Twilight’s muzzle before Discord even got the words out, already convinced that whatever drivel leaving his throat was deserving of said chuckle. Then the words actually registered in her mind. Her smile slowly disappeared, going flat once again as her mind processed what she had just heard. “What?” “It’s true,” Discord stated matter-of-factly. “How else can you explain what’s been happening over these past few days? Slowly falling into a dull, repetitive, orderly cycle day after day? Why, that’s just positively… bland.” Twilight remained silent, allowing the words to bounce around in her head. Chaos disappearing from Equestria. A world without unpredictability, where she and everypony else would know exactly what was going to happen before they happened, without even the slightest discrepancy. For a pony like Twilight, such a thing could’ve sounded heavenly. It could’ve, but she already experienced what such a world was like. Dull, dreary, and so, so, so boring. It didn’t make things any less confusing, however. “How did that even happen?” she asked. With another hint of foal-like innocence, Discord slowly rolled his eyes. “Funny story, that.” ---- “Come now, ‘Tia. I know you can do better than that.” “Yes, sister! Cease this dillydallying and overpower your foe with the intensity of a thousand suns! Knock him, as they say, into the next millennium!” “Not… helping… Luna.” With white hoof and lion paw locked, Celestia and Discord engaged in a battle of raw strength, one that would forever shame the white alicorn were she to lose. Luna merely stood by, both as a witness and a referee, as she watched the fiercest hoof-wrestling match to ever be engaged. The white marble table quaked and trembled under the immense pressure of the battle, but while it seemed as though Celestia was giving it her all, her alabaster cheeks flushing red with exertion, Discord lackadaisically leaned against the table, his arm not budging an inch. What could have possibly sparked such a heated battle? Several things actually, but the match itself began with a simple bet. After one too many pranks and one too many quitting servants, Celestia and Luna reluctantly decided that perhaps it’d be best to give Discord some free time of his own outside of the castle. With restrictions, of course. When they brought their plan to the draconequus, he was thrilled at the prospect, though there was, of course, a thing or two that he wanted to change. The sisters only wanted to allow Discord one measly hour out and about, whereas Discord would go for nothing less than five. Of course, disagreements flared, and from the flames of their arguments, a bet arose. If Discord defeated the two sisters in a hoof-wrestling match, one right after the other, then he would receive his five hours of freedom. However, were he to lose to just one of them, not only would he only have one hour, but his pranks in the castle would immediately come to an end for an entire year. Discord himself came up with that last bit, if only to spice things up a little. Admittedly, most ponies would've tried to reach some kind of fair consensus without having to resort to such wagers, but then again, most ponies did not have to deal with Discord on a daily basis. Not only was reaching a ‘fair consensus’ impossible with that spirit, but after having to endure his pranks day after day for the past several months, an entire year without his antics sounded absolutely heavenly. It was an offer that neither sister could refuse. Unfortunately, that possibility was threatening to disappear before their very eyes as Celestia struggled to overcome the spirit’s strength. He had already defeated Luna despite the younger alicorn’s best effort, and Celestia was hardly faring any better. “Oh, I do wonder what lovely pranks I’ll pull after this,” Discord tauntingly pondered. "Maybe I'll throw some more poison joke into the mix. Those things do give lovely results." “Do not allow his tauntings to distract you, sister!” Luna encouragingly shouted. “You have overcome far worse than this beast!” “Beast?” Discord cast an offended glance towards the dark blue alicorn standing by. “Honestly, Luna, I thought we had gotten past name calling. Very unsportsmanlike of you.” With the spirit distracted, Celestia unleashed a mighty battle cry as she doubled—no, tripled—her efforts. It seemed that her efforts were to be rewarded as Discord’s hand came dangerously close to the table. Unfortunately, just as victory seemed to be within reach, Discord’s hand stopped just short of the table. The battle wasn’t over yet. “Well, aren’t you the sly one?” he asked. A fleeting sense of hope flashed through Celestia’s eyes as she noticed Discord’s calm exterior give a little as he strained to keep his hand up under the immense pressure. He was actually struggling. “Just give up, Discord,” Celestia said, a smile finally creeping across her face. “You won’t win, not this time.” “Oh, I beg to differ. I still have one trick left up my sleeve. This little bout of ours is far from over.” Putting on a simply sinister grin, Discord channeled a frightfully large amount of chaotic energy to his right hand, the appendage bursting into fierce, green flames. Almost immediately, the difference in strength became painfully apparent as he soon gained the advantage, nearly bringing Celestia’s hoof down to the table. “No!” Celestia cried. Her own hoof burst into orange flames as bright as the sun itself, leveling the playing field. “I will not lose, not this time!” “Ah, now it’s a battle!” Discord exclaimed. His battle-craving smile spread from ear to ear as he and Celestia locked eyes in a gaze that only true rivals could muster. The entire room trembled due to the sheer force of the match, bits of marble crumbling down from the walls and ceiling. It was only a matter of time; either one of them would give, or the room itself would. The battle raged on, neither side giving a single inch, the seconds ticking by at a snail’s pace. However, it was only a matter of time before it became clear who fortune favored on this particular day. The exertion, the ferocity, the sheer heat emanating from the pair as they attempted overpower each other soon got to Discord. Small drops of sweat formed on his brow, building up until they began to trickle down his face. Soon enough, one such drop of sweat found its way to the worst possible place it could go: right into his eye. The salty liquid stung just enough to not only force Discord to shut his eyes, but to also yank his attention away from the battle. That was a mistake. At the very last second, Luna cast a protective barrier around herself just as a powerful wave of energy slammed into her, though she still felt trickles seep through her shield. All manner of dust and debris brushed and bounced against the inky blue barrier as the room endured something of a miniature explosion. Undoubtedly, it shook the entire castle to its core, if not the entirety of Canterlot and beyond. Soon, the smoke began to clear, revealing the aftermath of Celestia and Discord’s friendly, little match. The entire room was reduced to little more than a deep, deep crater, bits and pieces of marble still crumbling down as they succumbed to gravity’s influence. The table was all but demolished, the only remaining traces of it being the numerous bits of white marble littered about the destructive scene. At the very middle of the crater sat two powerful, yet dirt-splotched entities, though it was clear which one had the edge over the other. Celestia’s white hoof sat triumphantly on top of Discord’s own hand, the latter of which was buried into the floor. Slowly, the white princess stood up, smoothing out her ruffled feathers and shaking the dust from her form. With a victorious smile, she stared down at the wide-eyed Discord. “Discord,” she calmly called. It took him a moment, but Discord’s eye finally shifted to meet Celestia’s own. “Yes?” “I won.” ---- Discord stroked his beard as he brought his story to an end. “At least, I’m sure that’s when this all started.” Despite his grandiose descriptions, Twilight’s face still screamed skepticism. “A hoof-wrestling match? Really? That’s what caused all of this?” “A very heated hoof-wrestling match,” Discord corrected. Twilight remained woefully unconvinced. “I’m serious,” Discord insisted. “Releasing that much chaotic energy at once is bound to have lasting effects on the surrounding area. Surely, you felt the effects. I’m sure that most of Equestria did. Actually, what were you even doing a week ago?” “I was—” Twilight’s face, once so flat and disinterested before, exploded into an expression of sheer shock as the memories of that particular day came rushing back. “No, no, no! Twilight, don’t throw that!” “I was… cleaning.” Discord raised an interested eyebrow as he leant in closer. That dubious little smile of his spoke louder than any words possibly could. “That was all?” he teasingly asked. “It was vigorous cleaning,” Twilight insisted. With a playful roll of the eyes, the spirit leant in even closer. “Are you certain?” Twilight herself leant in until their noses met, her fierce gaze staring right into Discord’s eyes. “Very. Vigorous. Cleaning.” Finally, the draconequus backed off, not necessarily believing the story, but amused enough to drop it. “Ah, who cares about those little details now, anyway? I prefer to live in the here and now, and right now, we are faced with a problem. In fact, I think this little ‘epidemic’ of ours—if you can even call it that–affects me the most.” For the first time in a while, a small smirk cracked onto Twilight’s face. “And that’s a bad thing?” With a huff, Discord crossed his mismatched arms. “Well, I think it is, unless you enjoy this never-ending chain of monotony. Well? Do you?” “Er… Point taken,” Twilight begrudgingly yielded. “How are we supposed to fix this then?” “Well, it’s really quite simple,” Discord reassuringly stated. “We just have to bring the chaos back.” Considering how confident and matter-of-factly Discord was in making that statement, one would think that Twilight would’ve been in the same boat. She wasn’t. Perhaps it shouldn’t have come as a surprise, with it being Discord and all, but he just left the mare hopelessly lost. “What?” Discord, happy as ever, clapped his hands together. “Doesn’t that sound like such fun?” he eagerly asked. “But can’t you just do that thing you did to get me back to normal?” Discord shook his head with an almost worrying amount of energy. “Nope. As I said, my magic is nearly gone, so that was a one-time deal only. If we want to fix this, we’ll have to do it the old fashioned way.” With a dignity-draining squee, the ancient entity began skipping about the library. “Oh, this will be wonderful. I can show you all of my little tricks. Honestly, this is something of a rare occasion, if I do say so myself. It would certainly be a shame if you missed out on it.” “Wait, wait, wait,” Twilight quickly said. “How do you even know that I want to help? Why not go to somepony like Celestia if you want this solved?” Discord slowed his excited skipping to a halt. “Really, Twilight? Celestia can be such a bore, especially when it comes to things as small as preserving the safety of her pwecious kingdom.” Discord’s face scrunched up out of faux-disgust, ignoring the glare he received from Twilight. “Besides, I feel that there’s a lesson to be taken from this, one that only you would appreciate. You do still appreciate the occasional lesson, right?” “Forget it, Discord. I don’t know what you have planned, but I know it can’t be anything good. If you want to fix this, you can do it yourself.” Instead of falling right into a state of quasi-disappointment, Discord simply took a deep breath before standing upright in a more professional posture. That devious smirk of his still refused to leave his face. “If you insist. I’ll just take my leave.” Without another word, without even some unnecessary zaniness behind his gait, Discord walked right out of Twilight’s library. He even used the front door, ducking underneath the doorframe before closing it shut. Twilight, for a moment, could only stand there, staring at the door with suspicious eyes. “That was… easy,” she said. “Too easy.” And she was right to think so. The library was quiet for the next few seconds, save for the bustle outside, but it was only a matter of time before that was no longer the case. “Oh, my goodness! Just look at all of this knowledge!” Discord cried out. From the sounds of it, he was right outside the front door, and he made absolutely certain that Twilight could hear him. “My, oh, my! I could take away so many lessons after being exposed to so much knowledge! Why, I certainly wish that there was somepony else here with me to take in all of this knowledge!” Twilight truly believed that she had gotten over Discord and his antics, but a single twitching eye was all it took to prove that that was far from the case. “He’s going to be out there all day, isn’t he?” “Oh, I could just stand here and absorb this knowledge all day!” “Of course,” Twilight sighed. She could’ve just placed a soundproof barrier around her house and call it a day, but as she thought on it, she supposed that she couldn’t, in clear conscience, sit back while her friends and the rest of Equestria suffered from this brain-rotting monotony. And she certainly couldn’t rest easy knowing that Discord was the only one who could actually do anything to solve it. Besides, by tagging along, she could make sure that he didn’t do anything to make matters worse. Since he evidently lacked any magic, the odds were tipped in her favor. And if he did talk too much, she could just cast a muzzle over his mouth. With a heavy sigh, Twilight walked up to her front door. This was going to be a very, very long day.