//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8.5: Becoming a Whale... Wait, what? (Joke Chapter. Unedited) 
// Story: Becoming Whole 
// by Chivalry 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 8.5: Becoming a Whale... Wait, what? 


Part 1: Going on a Trip


Chrysalis chuckled. "We can talk about that later, but right now, you have some more medicine to take," she said, holding out a hoof with a small capsule in it. 

Caduceus eyed the pill with a raised eyebrow, but took it none-the-less. Shortly after, his eyes shrunk to pinpricks upon seeing something rather peculiar in the doorway. A large white rabbit in a tuxedo and top hat stood there, staring right at him with a bored expression. Rolling his eyes, said rabbit then reached into his front pocket and pulled out a small watch and looked upon it with the same lifelessness in his eyes. 

"Oh no…" the zebra whispered before turning his attention back to the black mare before him only to see that she had turned into a pony-sized whale with all of her features. He shook his head violently before rubbing his eyes and looking back at the mare. Thankfully, she was back to normal for the time being. 

"Listen Chrysalis, I only have a few more moments to spare," he said in an urgent tone as he grabbed her by her unnaturally soft shoulders. "The medicine you just gave me is also a very powerful hallucinogenic that will make me see, hear, and feel things that are not truly there. I am not responsible for what I say, do, or even think from now until this is worked out of my system. Until that time, do not come near me unless you have a shield, body armor, or a box of kittens. Do you understand me?"

Shocked, the mare took a precautionary step away from the stallion before replying. "Why a box of kittens?"

Caduceus opened his mouth to reply, but shortly closed it before he furrowed his brow and brought a hoof to his chin. "No idea, but it has worked in the past. Anyway, you should lea…"

The room exploded in color and, once again, the mare before him turned into a small whale. This time however, she looked nothing like herself, and was instead a great blue whale. The very same one that took his hoof on the high seas. Now only one thing remained in the stallion's mind: Revenge.


o.0.o


Chrysalis pulled the door shut as fast as she could, praying that the wood door would be enough to hold back the monster that her friend had turned into. She could hear the hook hoof he had made from a coat hanger clawing at the brass handle, desperately trying to reach her. 

"Yer can't escape me ye foul beast of the sea!" he shouted in a poor imitation of a sailor's accent. "Aye will have my revenge! Yearrrgh!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I AM NOT A WHALE!"

Suddenly, Chrysalis heard hoof steps coming from behind her. In a panic, the mare whipped around to see who had caused all of this insanity. 

"What is going on?" Scribes asked cocking her head. 

Chrysalis ground her teeth in frustration. "Oh, you know exactly what is going on here, Prime Evil!"

Scribes continued her clearly face façade (which Chrysalis could totally see through, by the way). "No seriously, what is going on?"

The changeling dove towards the unsuspecting mare and grabbed her by the shoulders before hoisting her above the ground. "WHY DOES CADUCEUS THINK I AM A WHALE?!?!"

As realization dawned on her (as if she didn't know before. Clever girl…), Scribes started to snicker. It was not long before her light chuckle turned into a full on guffaw, head thrown back and everything. However, the mare's maniacal laughter was cut short by a rather violent shake by Chrysalis. 

"Let me guess, he made himself a hook hoof, an eyepatch, and a pirate hat before he attacked you screaming, 'I will have my revenge,'?"

Chrysalis blinked before she nodded her head. 

"Well then, follow me. We can fix this…"


Part 2: Alas, Poor [REDACTED]. I Knew You Well


Caduceus sat upon the lifeboat sharpening his harpoon, making sure he was prepared for when the creators finally removed the wall of ocean that now kept him from his prey. 

"Soon now, ye scourge of the seas. Soon Aye will have my revenge. Ye have have taken me foreleg, but ye will never take me fightin' spirit!"

As if hearing his declaration, the god of the oceans saw fit to finally remove the obstacle before him, revealing the whale as it lunged towards him. It flailed and howled and bore its vicious teeth as it flew closer and closer. With a grim smile dancing across his face, the sea stallion leapt at the monster, harpoon in hoof. Meeting half way, the two clashed in an epic battle of good versus evil, monster versus pony, Stallion versus Whale! While the whale put up a respectable fight, the day belonged to Caduceus. Hoisting up the monster's carcass above his head, the stallion let out a roar of triumph before ripping the dead beast in half and bathing in its guts as they showered him in the spoils of his victory. 


o.0.o


"Oh, goodness," Chrysalis whispered from behind the door. "I can't believe how gruesome this is. He really tore it in half."

Looking over her shoulder, the changeling could see Scribes with her forelegs crossed and nodding her head. "Yea, this has happened before. After the first time, I knew I would need plans to help get him calm enough to relax. The best way was just to go along with the trip and pray he tuckered himself out." 

"By the way, why did you have me give the meds to him anyway?"

"It has phoenix tear extract as the main ingredient, but also another magical agent known only to Caduceus. He said it was a herb root from his homeland and that, in small dosages, can help the body process nutrients. However, if taken in a higher dosage and combined with a phoenix tear, it does what you just saw before you. I honestly didn't think I put that much of his herb in there."

Satisfied, Chrysalis looked back through the crack in the door. "Sorry about your stuffed bunny by the way. It looks like he's really destroying it."

"Oh, Fluffy has been through much worse in his time."

Chrysalis wanted to ask what could be worse than being torn in half and having your insides munched on by a deranged, drugged-out stallion in the throws of a hallucination, but then thought better of herself. Instead, she watched as Caduceus drank from a fake mug of ale and pass out on the bed. 

Per Scribe's plan, the two mares entered the room quietly to ensure that the victorious captain was indeed unconscious. After that was confirmed, they quickly set out to moving him into the washroom tub and filled it with cool water. 

"Man, he's heavier than I thought," Scribes said with a wipe of her brow. "Ok, now I just need to stay with him until he wakes back up. Hopefully the drug will be out of his system by then and I can talk to him about what happened."

"So, we are waiting for him to wake up again?"

Scribes tapped a hoof to her chin. "Appears so."

Chrysalis let out a low groan. "Why is it that every time we have to wait for something, it is because one of us is asleep?"

"Does this happen a lot?" Scribes asked, moving herself onto a small stool near the bath. "I bet that gets old."

"Oh, you have no idea…"