Frosty's AU Adventures, featuring probably everything!

by TheBobulator


Chapter 1: Squaddie Frosty Winds

Chapter 1: Squaddie Frosty Winds

“Those who play with the devil’s toys will be brought by degrees to wield his sword.”

Date: June 16th, 2015.
Time: 3:24 AM, Local time.
Location: Classified location in D.R. of the Congo.

Flow begins.

Join the air force, they said. It’ll be safe, they said. Fat lot of good that ended up being. The universe being the absolute asshole that it actually was, aliens descended on the planet three months ago. Coincidentally, I had my first official flight as an American flygirl a few weeks prior to that. Ever since then, we- as in, us humans, had been fighting a losing battle against the superior extraterrestrial threat. They had more advanced technology than us, which kept an actual counterattack nigh impossible.

Scoot along a bit to about last month. The aliens hadn’t let up their relentless attacks, but we hadn’t given them a single inch of ground in return. Every mobile air unit on base had been dispatched to fight off one of these attacks, a relentless bombardment on Chicago. My copilot and I had been scrambled to the city in our HH-60 Pave Hawk, laden with a few overenthusiastic jarheads with their minigun.

We arrived on scene to deploy covering fire for the survivors of a platoon that had been nearly wiped out by “Crazy poisonous fuckers in crazy poisonous suits”. Laughable then, but I knew the horrors that were Thin Men. (Colloquially known as Thin Mints, thanks to an old typo apparently.) In the moments that it took for us to descend close enough to the ground so that the folks in the back could open up with the minigun, streams of green plasma from somewhere cut through the hull and killed our passengers. A second salvo wrecked the tail prop and suddenly we were going down.

I can still remember Roy on the comms…

As we spiraled to the ground and as I attempted to get us back under control, he somehow managed to maintain a calm, almost nonchalant tone through the entire thing. “Mayday, mayday, mayday. Thunder Five is going down. Landing’s going to be hard and there might not be survivors. Our coordinates are as follows,...”

Turned out, I didn’t die. Neither did Private Pansy in the back, either. No, that wasn’t his name. I just don’t remember his actual name- only that he wouldn’t stop whining and pissing himself. Pansy got melted by the little gray fuckers, Sectoids, a bit later when they came to investigate the crash site. I did the smart thing and played dead until they bugged off.

My luck being my luck, some alien asshole must have heard me trying to unstrap myself from my crash harness or something, since a jetpack with a face decided to try taking a look through the busted canopy. I say tried, since I completely flipped out and unloaded my entire sidearm’s magazine into its ugly mug. And whatever anyone says, I got the kill on that Floater.

I must have passed out then, since I found myself in an unfamiliar aircraft hold with my wounds bandaged and just like that, I get conscripted to join X-Com literally ten hours later.


“And there you have it. That’s how I got here.” I groaned, rubbing my eyes. “And somehow, everyone won’t stop pointing out that a five foot five little taiwanese girl shouldn’t be able to one vee a Floater with nothing but her favorite Five-seveN.”

The guy standing by my medical bed, Lieutenant Deck, chuckled. A large friendly man, if anything else could be said about him. “I was just a rookie on that mission, too. It could have gone better, but… you know how it goes.” Acceptable losses, as was the entire mentality of the war. “So, how’d your first mission go?”

“I got shot by a Sectoid!” I jovially replied, showing off my bandaged arm and shoulder. “The doc says it’s just third-degree burns since the armor soaked up the brunt of it.”

“Congrats on the promotion, by the way. Nice job finishing off both of those robo-squids. Came here to deliver the patch myself.” He placed the emblem on my lap, the double circles of a Squaddie. “Pick up your new gear and a sniper rifle from the quartermaster once you’re mobile.”

A promotion. Like it or not, I’d just been made a sniper. I wasn’t really sure what to say other than a shaky “T-thank you, sir!” I saluted as well, flustered as I was.

“Thank the commander, Squaddie Winds.”

The entire floor shook.

“Uh…” I grabbed the tiny railing on my bed for safety. “Was that me, or…”

“Did the entire underground base just shake? Yeah, it just did. Probably just a tremor or something.”

An explosion, followed by a much more forceful explosion, rocked the base. “That’s not good.” I muttered, tucking my new squaddie patch into the breast pocket on my fatigues. Seconds later, the red emergency lights flickered on and klaxons began to blare.

“That’s not good.” Lt. Dack echoed, giving me a concerned look. “Are you mobile? I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Over the intercom. the familiar voice of Central Officer Bradford rang out. “This is Central. Security status RED. Repeat, se-” Then the broadcast abruptly cut out.

I sprang out of my bed and let training and drills kick in. All able soldiers were to report to the barracks for retasking, base security personnel would direct non-combatants to safe rooms and clear the halls. Without any further orders, the leader of Strike One would be in charge.

The Lieutenant and I ran into a few other soldiers that had also been caught off-duty. One of them hadn’t finished shaving, which left with a funny-looking half-moustache. Even so, we were all headed for the same place to retrieve our gear and find out exactly what was going on.

When I got to my locker, I had already come to the very late realization that this wasn’t actually a drill. I also arrived to the late realization that getting sent to medbay meant that some of the gear I was using had been reassigned while I was recovering. The only things left were my standard-issue body armor, which I immediately strapped on, its specialized sniper’s gear, and the standard-issue sidearm which I slotted into my holster. I made sure that my radio was switched on and the earbud plugged in. My next stop would be the quartermaster’s office.

The Quartermaster was running a tight ship, even with RED security alert. I was in and out within eight seconds, sprinting out the doors with a repossessed EXALT sniper rifle and a plethora of reaper rounds shoved into my pockets and bandoliers.

I quickly fiddled with the sights on my brand new weapon as I tromped toward my assigned zone, until I heard Central over base intercom again. “Delta section is under attack. Reserve elements of Strike One, get to Delta on the double!”

That wasn’t far from where I was. Literally two hallways, a left turn, through a generator room and I was standing in front my destination. The giant blast doors were firmly locked shut, which made me a bit confused on what to do next. A few technicians arrived shortly thereafter with their tools, one of which gave me a curt nod. Unsure what to do still, I watched them pull out a panel next to the rounded door frame and plug a tablet into the wiring within.

“Squaddie Winds, I’m sending base defense personnel to your position. In a few moments, those doors will open and you’ll only have a few seconds to get through before they close again.” Central informed me over my radio. “The AO will be hot.”

I pressed my right hand against my other ear so I could hear him more clearly over the sounds of gunfire and explosions. “What about reinforcements, sir?” I sort of yelled back.

There was a brief pause as Central was most likely communicating with someone else. “You are the reinforcements. Part of Strike One is already on the scene and I’m trying to re-route our reserve troops to Delta, but you’re the first to arrive at the rally point without encountering hostiles along the way.”

One of the techs yelled, “Openin’ the barn in ten seconds! Get ready, ma’am!”

“Switching you to squad comms. Stand by.” My radio burped static as Central patched me into the battle.

The heavy doors soundlessly cranked open and I bolted through, a base security rookie on my heels. I hesitated for a second while I surveyed the scene. The Delta Section command center was a complete and literal war zone. Consoles had been reduced to melted wrecks, railings and walls had been torn apart with explosives, and corpses of many different aliens liberally covered the floor. The hologlobe to my right weakly flickered because of the Muton corpse lying on top of it.

“We’ve got more reinforcements awaiting orders, Commander. As soon as the power banks spool up again, I’ll send another group through.”

“Good timing, squaddie. I needed a sniper.” Nobody ever actually saw the commander in person, except for Bradford, the head engie, and the head squint. “Advance to the corner on your left and overwatch the main hall to the mechbay. The next wave is coming in.” Dutifully, I pulled out my pistol and advanced to the specified corner.

Under orders, everyone moved into position to cover potential entrances at the same time. “Commander! We’re picking up a steady increase in alien activity near the forward access tunnel. It looks like they’re concentrating a force there. I’d get prepped.”

Heavy thumps from the floor above me didn’t get my attention until a base defense soldier behind me opened fire with his assault rifle at the same time I heard a much louder crash- the sound of something really big and heavy jumping a floor down.

“They’re coming around the side!” I shouted, desperately firing my pistol as the hulking Muton Berzerker stomped toward me. The damn thing shrugged off the .45 rounds like they were nerf darts. It roared in rage, causing the base defense soldier that shot at it to scream in fright and cower in his corner. I managed to stay calm and fumble for my rifle, praying to the gods that I could kill this thing before it did me in.

I didn’t get any fire support from anyone else since it sounded like they were too busy fighting off several Mechtoids and their alien buddies. I brought my new rifle to bear and pulled the trigger at the same time as the Berzerker raised his bladed arm.

“Shot wide!” I incredulously shouted.

The huge red alien brought down his bladed weapon and I stumbled backward from the impact. I tried to cycle the bolt on my rifle, but I couldn’t get my left hand to grip the body for some odd reason. Without a primary, I drew my pistol again and tried to get a new magazine in. Why couldn’t I get a mag? I’d done this hundreds o-

A lot of things suddenly made sense when I caught sight of all the nothing where my left arm should have been. I managed a weak “Oh” as my vision began to blur. That’s also when I realized my feet were no longer touching the floor and the Berzerker’s arm blades were hilt-deep in my chest.

When I hit the floor, I could barely make out someone yelling “We lost one!”

Which was promptly followed up with, “Get me outta here! I don’t wanna die!”

Fucking rookies.

Flow terminates.


I sat bolt upright with a startled gasp and clutched at my chest with my claw, sighing in relief when I found myself un-perforated and alive. My hooves, wings, and my robotic limb were back, which meant I was a proper pegasus again! I flopped onto my back and gently flapped my wings to get feeling back into them.

“What did you see?” Violet asked, quill and notepad at the ready. “I know it might be hard for you, but I need details.”

“Aren’t you going to ask whether it worked?” I snapped, still somewhat irked that I hadn’t been given any proper warning.

Violet let out an exasperated sigh. “I already know the spell works. I just need to know what you saw.”

“Don’t you have a spell for that, too? Mind reading or something?”

“I do, but I really don’t want to know what goes on in your mind. I’d rather not find out that schizophrenia is a mentally transmittable disease.”

So I sat up and told Violet, which didn’t spark the slightest bit of wonder to her for whatever reason. Just in case, I made sure to point out most of the similarities in case they were important at all. Once she’d gotten enough written down, she reread everything and nodded in satisfaction.

Violet snapped her notebook shut. “Good. Time to see whether or not this is repeatable.”

I blinked. “Hold on, wha-”

Violet’s sparkly little purple ball of magic bopped me in the forehead and I crumpled face-first into the dirt. Again.