//------------------------------//
// [1P GR NC D] Dick Rolled 
// Story: A Collection Of Geodesic One-Shots 
// by GeodesicDragon 
//------------------------------//


STORY #22


Dick Rolled


As I walked by the side of the lake, whistling contentedly to myself, I took in the sights and sounds of a beautiful spring day.

Birds singing.

Foals playing in the sunshine.

A mare screaming.

"Wait," I said to myself. "That didn't sound right."

I sprinted along the shoreline in the direction of the screaming and found a group of ponies looking desperately at something in the lake. Taking a look, I could clearly make out somepony frantically thrashing around in the water.

"I'll get them," I said determinedly, wading into the water. It was cold, but not by much, and I quickly made my way over to the stricken pony. "I'm coming! Just hold on, and you'll be fine! Because I'm... never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!" I grinned to myself at my little joke.

I soon reached the unfortunate soul and grabbed hold of them, only to be dragged under the water as they gave up trying to stay afloat. Struggling to breathe, I soon found – to my considerable bewilderment – that the pony was wearing a full set of Royal Guard armour. I took it off as fast as I could — only to find that the pony I had just saved was Flash Sentry.

I swam to the surface, holding Flash, and soon the two of us were taking in much needed air.

"Don't touch me," Flash snapped suddenly. "I don't even want to know where your hands have been."

"Ask Twilight," I grinned. "She'll gladly tell you."

I laughed for all but a moment before Flash headbutted me. I glared at him — and then dunked his head back under the water. He struggled a lot, but was no match for my strength and soon... it was all quiet on the watery front.

I released my hold on him, allowing his body to float to the surface and bob around. "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down," I whispered, staring at the corpse. "Unless you are Flash Sentry, in which case... drown."

With those words, I returned to the shore so that I could share the grim news with everypony who had been watching.