//------------------------------// // Bronze Armor: Newbies // Story: Imbalanced // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// [Blazing's Entry] In accordance to my new position I have to spend two hours twice a day teaching recruits how not to get stomped when breaking up a bar fight. I've never been in one so it's a work in progress. Honestly, I'd much rather go back to carrying coal. Oh, right! I don't have to haul anything anymore and I got a small office to do the paperwork required. Also I'm getting an absurd amount of money right now. I mean it's no crazy amount but I have no idea what to do with it since all I've been buying until now was food. The bad thing is that my new position means I have to move out of the castle or sleep at the barracks. It's uncertain when since nopony applied for the coal job yet but it will have to be soon. [End Entry] I was expecting something else from the recruits. Some of them are younger than me, fresh from school, but a lot of them are normal stallions who decided that a prestigious job in the Guard is worth the risk of being eaten while patrolling country roads and some are ex-guards or reservists who are here for retraining. That means a lot of the ponies standing in front of me and trying not to stare know way more about what we are about to do than me. Thankfully there are no pegasi in my group and I have to remember to buy Choking a cake for that, those ponies require a way different exercise than I can offer. There's twenty ponies looking at me right now and I have no idea what to do so I stare back and try to look as stern as possible. The silence begs to be filled and with my gaze sizing up every single pony standing lined up their nervousness rises causing mine to drop. I choose to focus my attention on one of the few ponies standing at attention and saluting properly. "You seem to know what you're doing," I comment, baiting him to fill the unspoken question. To show I'm not bothered about him being about two heads taller than me I stare squarely at his chest. "I used to serve on the griffon border, sir. Got my eye gouged out in a skirmish so I'm here." So that's why one of his eyes looks weird. I've never seen a glass one before but now I can easily identify it. I nod at him and move to the next experienced looking pony, this one is a white earthpony with blue mane, tail and patches of fur around his hooves. He seems about my age and needless to say, he's almost as big as the older soldier guy but nowhere close to his physique. "And you?" "Eh... Heavy Hoof, sir. I-I'm fresh from Trottingham Military Academy. Sorry to be so big, sir." The burst of laughter from others at his nervousness doesn't phase me in the slightest. If he's worth it then he won't need much encouragement to be more than okay in the company. "It's not about size but about skill," I borrow an ice-breaker from Choking's book and try to cheer the earthpony up as another burst of laughter seems to be getting to him. "If you survived the TMA then you're going to be just fine here," I say and hope it's convincing enough since I have no idea what I'm talking about. Before he can think this through I move to the final interesting pony. He's a dark-grey earthpony with light blue mane and contrary to everypony else his glare is almost physically unfriendly. He has no idea who he's threatening though. I'm more than used to ponies looking at me with enmity or disgust. Still, no reason to pour oil on the fire. "Soldier as well?" I take a wild guess. "No, caravan guard, and I've spent enough time walking through the Everfree Forest to know what you are, bug. The Guard is stupid to have something like you around." Ohhhh kaaay. This got weird quickly. So much for being friendly. I still try to keep this on an official basis. "All I want to know is that you can obey orders." "I would never desert my duty but if I ever feel weak at the knees I'm cutting your damn head off." Alright, he's not just some stupid bigot. How to get him to secretly tell me what I am? "I'll try not to be too charming for you then," I try to ease the situation and it works for everypony thanks to their chuckling but somehow it makes him even more angry. Time to get going then. The ones standing out are on my list so it's up to me to show them I'm actually more than just a loudmouth unicorn-ish thing in Nightguard armor. "Since most of you here are in terrible physical condition we'll be doing standard physical exercises for some time before you even get to see a practice weapon. I hope the ones who are in shape don't give you hard time for that. So let's start with fifty pushups everypony. You can do it in one set or split it any way you choose, the only objective is to finish. I'll be doing the exercise as well." I throw down my armor and ignore the gasps. I don't have to force them to accept anything about me, I'm just here to make sure they fulfill their wish of being physically fit to join the Guard. Things become obvious when I'm done waaaay faster than even the ex-soldier. I spend my free time walking around and giving advice where I feel it's needed. "That was just to size you up and there's a lot of you in absolutely atrocious shape but if you really want then that can be mended with patience. Let's do some stretching to get the blood flowing and to be ready for the next step." It's hard to explain but it feels amazing when I can correct the soldier and the military cadet about something and help them in some little way. I was expecting them to be a problem but their discipline is admirable and when they are done with their share they even walk around and help others since I can't be everywhere. I've never seen anything like this happen while I was watching different guard groups practice in my free time but I'm not going to stop them, that would be stupid. "If you twist your leg to the left you can stretch the outer muscles without changing position," I say to the defiant grey earthpony. "If you twist your neck far enough all of us will be much happier," he strikes back. I tend to agree but don't have to. "What's your problem, Rising? He's right," asks the ex-soldier while passing around. "Shut up. You've never had to kill your teammates when they turned on you while being drained by one of them and-" he stops abruptly. "Just shut up, I'm doing the damn stretching," Rising Thunder finishes. "I'm sorry," I whisper to myself, not sure if anypony heard it. I don't push my luck anymore and just ask the one-eyed pony to take care of Rising whenever I see him making a mistake. After the warm-up we spend some time running around the castle gardens, taking a break whenever somepony is close to passing out. I think I'm doing this completely wrong but nopony seems to complain so I'll just have to wait for Choking to set me straight when she visits. "Heya, I'm a big, hot liar!" I hear from behind me. That explains the looks of the recruits which I wasn't able to understand. Damn batponies are really sneaky no matter what. "Hey Cho- Commander! So you made it." "Yep. And not a moment too soon. Your first session is almost over and these guys aren't spitting out their lungs or trembling in fear of you." "I... got a good batch?" I turn to the recruits and wave at them furiously. Some of them get the message and slump to the ground pretending to choke and cough. As the theatrics spread I smile innocently on Choking, sweat forming on my forehead. "See? Everything's under control." "Perfect! In that case, who wants to take a swing at your drill sargeant?" "WHAAAA?" I sqeal and I realize I'm not the only one with my mouth wide open. "Come on, there's always somepony hating the abuse, it's a tradition! And you don't have to attend the physical training if you succeed." Heavy Hoof waves at her. "You sexy beast, great!" "Eeeh well I just wanted to say none of us really have a problem with sarge right now," he tries to stop her pushing him towards me. "I do," a chilling voice pierces the air and I have no doubt about who it came from. If there is something to say about Choking it's that she's not stupid, by any measure. She just doesn't like to think much but she can read the signs around her better than anypony, perhaps thanks to the experience of seducing maybe hundreds of ponies. In short, she notices the fun is over. "Good. Now since Blaze here taught me most of the stuff I know you'll have to go through me first as a test. I will be unarmed." Rising Thunder hesitantly stands up and I understand his problem. I had the same difficulty with Valiant so I intend to clear his head. "She asked for it. You will have no legal problem with striking an officer in this case, Rising. You've got my word." "Practice spear then," he says with enough authority for one of the recruits close to the practice weapon crate to get up and bring it to him. Choking assumes a defensive position and... ... gets completely destroyed in just few seconds. Ho. Ly. Sheet music. I can't do much aside from staring. Rising Thunder is fast, strong, evidently experienced and completely ruthless. I rush to Choking to see how bad it is but aside from broken nose, probably chipped ribs and heavy bruises she's fine. "If THAT useless performance is the best you can teach us then-" he stops when I growl at him. "And so the animal gets out no matter how hard you try to hide it," he says calmly despite me charging him and prepares to block the incoming blow while tripping me up - long weapons are good for such dirty moves. Unfortunately for him I'm infinitely better then Choking and I've been practicing regularly last weeks while she was doing her officering so I sidestep his trip attempt and break right through his block. And the spear. And his nose. Having a naturally armored and heavy leg means I have four hammers at my disposal. The splatter of blood doesn't stop me though and so does none of the others. I hear bones crack as I pound his body while sitting on him uselessly trying to protect his face with his front legs. Suddenly I can't move and realize the ex-soldier and Heavy Hoof are holding me. The red veil lifts and I can think again. To everypony's surprise I extend my hoof to Rising cowering on the ground. "You are the best spear fighter I've ever seen but if you ever say anything bad about Choking I will kill you." He tries to get up but his broken front legs don't allow him to. "Get him to the infirmary. The mages there can patch him up in few days. And by the way this was your combat demonstration. If you try hard enough you'll be able to do this with combat horseshoes and if there's a different weapon that catches your eye I'll make sure you get to the best guy who can teach you. Lesson over." Not my best performance but as a reward I get to rub Choking all over most of the night. Turns out that being able to change how hard my hooves are gives me a great advantage when it comes to massages. What is it with earthponies and long sticks? Makes them go crazy around me.