//------------------------------// // Chapter 7: The End and Beginning of Disharmony // Story: Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe // by iamthemithras //------------------------------// Chapter 7: The End and Beginning of Disharmony Discord hovered through the marble-stone archway of the main hall's double doors, his paw clenching on half of his burned face ever since his foray into the streets moments ago. He ended his flight at the regal red carpet stretched across the long hallway facing Celestia's throne as the stained glass windows give the path a shimmer while the floor muffle out every hoof and foot step of the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. What used to be a badge of merit he would freely flaunt to anypony foolish enough to listen is now, what he realize, but a shadow of his former self. Bearing such a title would even more so be an affront to him now after living through what he now knows is the true spirit of Chaos and Disharmony: These past few days. He kept his pace at the red carpet floor on his way to the iconic pedestal at the far end of the hallway passing through shimmers from the beautiful stained glass windows, light separated by gaps between the columns lined parallel to the wide hallway. This hall has been the center of many occasions, ironic considering that this is Celestia's throne room, supposedly the most secure and hallmarked place here in Canterlot. This is where he first met the Elements of Harmony when he was first freed from his stone-form imprisonment, the center where Chrysalis tried to invade Canterlot with her changeling army, and just recently where Twilight Sparkle officially broke the news of the first murders in Equestria since generations to the princesses, and him. "Heeeeey Discoord!! Where you at?" He turned to the direction of the monster's echo from the open frame of the doors where he came in. With a snap of his fingers the doors shut themselves with a loud thud and a large steel lock materialized between its handles. The noise still reverbing in the corridor, the beast following him would no doubt be alert of where Discord is hiding, but that's what he wants to happen "Goodness Celestia, what's taking so long?" he whispered to himself as he back away from the sealed doors. From what he has witnessed of this murderer, he knew it wouldn't take long before it finds a way to him. He needs all the time he can get. He continue to pace toward the regal pedestal troubled as crucial time pass enough for the monster to follow, his gaze on the throne elevated atop the pulpit. Everypony else might argue why of all places - Celestia's Throne Room - is where Discord would lure this 'Deadpool' to. Why choose the very icon of Canterlot Castle for this monster to ravage? He squints as a beam of light momentarily blind him, turning to its direction he studied the glass beautifully illuminated by the sun, its rays unjustly raining on his unworthy chaotic form. He approached the window wonderfully detailed with the image of The Elements of Harmony placed atop surrounded with their respective wielders studded with light. Below The Elements, the white mare between the farmer pony and the pink mare stood, their heads lifted up in attention to the two pegasi in flight, the image of the lavender equine levitating atop all them, everypony connected through three sets of halos signifying harmony. This was the prophecy of the Elements. The one that foretold the eventual wielders of this world's strongest force and last resort to restore peace and balance. It's what turned him to stone, restored Luna to her form, turned him to stone again, stopped King Sombra, and it is what will stop... 'Deadpool' He gazed on Twilight Sparkle's image, intrigued by how the Element of Magic was specifically placed above the two pegasi. Did this prophesied the eventual ascension of Twilight into royalty also? He scoffed as he remembered the day he danced on top of her head when he displaced his body onto the fragile arts of this hall. Nearing the window, he was caught by something even more fascinating as another beam of light flash before him. The Element of Kindness with her head high and her hooves raised in admiration to the unicorn above her. Discord lifted his paw, reaching out to the very spot where light seem to escape from the window... interestingly placed at, and illuminating the light yellow pegasus herself. "Discord? My.. what... what brings you here?" He stood at the door held open by the white unicorn's magic, her expression surprised by his visit. Maybe too surprised. "Hello there Rarity... I was told Fluttershy is staying here?" The unicorn blinked for a couple of times and shifted her eyes around him, wary as if Discord was here to stir trouble, which is of course understandable, but surprisingly not the case. "I ah... yes... yes, she is staying here in the meantime after... everything that had happened" She shuffled her hoof, mistrustful of the draconequus that stood before her, his reason largely uncharted to her. Her expression leery and her tone quizzical "You are... here to check on her?" "Yes I am. Is it alright to come in?" "... I... suppose it is" She stepped away from the door, motioning him an uncertain welcome "She's upstairs in my room. Follow me" Discord followed Rarity as he simultaneously step his hoof and foot inside her abode. He had hoped that by now everypony would be less tense around him. Then again, for someone who lived a meaningless life for what feels like eternity, hope was never on his side Except once. "I'm rather surprised you bothered to use the door, Discord" She's right. He could have just whisked himself inside the house for all he cares. It would have made things a lot easier for both of them. There really is no reason why he can't do that. "I figured that'd be appropriate considering the circumstances" Yes. No reason. The white unicorn slowly opened her room door as if it was the most fragile part of her home. Fluttershy sat forlorn at Rarity's carpet in total contrast to the lavish symmetry of the room, her back turned to them as her gazed kept fixed outside the window next to the mannequins and the work table. "She hasn’t said a word ever since she woke up this morning" Rarity kept her voice soft, careful not to disturb Fluttershy not that it seems like she could "Refuses to eat anything too, she has me worried all day... She and Applejack haven't taken things very well, I personally can't tell which of them is more aghast" "How about her cottage? Will she be staying back there?" "Oh dear, no, I wish it not. It's not right for her to stay in that dreadful place. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind if she stays here with us. For the meantime, I'll have to convince her to have her cottage demolished soon. Bad memories should be left where they are you see" Bad memories. Discord's not really sure he knows how to handle such things. You'd think living for as long as he is would make you wise enough to know how, but no. And like everypony else, he doesn't like dealing with them. Perhaps his 'unorthodox' ways and acts were how he deals with them, or perhaps that's because he's bored. Or maybe, that's how he avoids them "Let me talk to her first. I'll tell her you are here" She walked away from the door and approached the pegasus with care. Her head lowered and spoke something to Fluttershy cautiously. She didn't seem like it but Fluttershy subtly gave a nod at which Rarity nodded back in acknowledgement. The unicorn turned back to Discord, her gait as slow as she approached Fluttershy. "Do be gentle with her, please Discord" He nodded back as Rarity went her way downstairs leaving them both alone in her beautifully adorned yet lifeless room. Fluttershy still leaned limply facing away at the window, her body completely still, undisturbed by their intrusion. "Um. Hello Fluttershy! It's me, Discord!" His attempt to ease her went unnoticed. She sat unmoved, silently gazing outside the window. He rubbed his arm. he was never good at comforting anypony... he never had to. There never really was a friend for him to comfort. He slithered away to her side, facing her with mildly comforting eyes "Hey... Fluttershy! It's me... just wanted to see how you're doing" Her eyes kept fixed outside the window with her face completely still. Discord glanced outside the window and saw a solitary tree standing in full view, its lush leaves swept briskly against the cool wind outside. "That's a wonderful tree outside, right?" he turned back to her. Still no reaction. Just her sad eyes kept focused on that one tree outside without even blinking. He slumped beside her, annoyed at himself. Lost on how he could cheer her up no matter how little. He exhaled a quick sigh and stared back at the tree, thinking of what to do The sound of the doors being bashed set Discord back to the present. Attention shifted at the giant lock bouncing against the doors, trying its best to not give way. Confident taunts savagely echoed behind the doors "Let's make this quicker and easier for everyone and just open the door to me, alright? I got a quota to catch up with!" The lock is not enough to block Deadpool as the door unevenly struggle through the barricade by the bashing. the other door began to chip away with every force the monster rams at its bridge. "Are you sure about this decision, Twilight?" "No, but Sunset Shimmer must know something that will help in this situation. Fluttershy and Applejack saw the creature with their own eyes and that's all the confirmation I need. I'm certain that this creature is from, or in a world similar to her.. home. Her knowledge of her world's resources and magic will definitely fill a lot of blanks, like how those trees were cut down but not even singed, and how the monster could transport itself very quick if not immediately to long distances" The ruler of Equestria pondered for a moment, uncertain if she would let her pupil go. There is a yet mysterious threat possibly roaming still in Equestria and as far as she's concerned, proven itself to be intelligent. It tried to attack the most powerful line of defense they all have. This monster is most likely trying to break this defense to destabilize Equestria... but for what cause? In the last few nights, Celestia with all her intuition could not conjure an explanation of why and who would dare bring harm to the elements. The fact that they have an unknown enemy, and a potentially able mediator is a dreadful thought. "Please Princess, from what you told me earlier the portal will only stay open until tonight. I'll be very quick, I won't stay for a second longer than necessary, please" "... I suppose there is little harm in sending you back to the portal. Okay Twilight, as soon as the funeral is over you may visit the other world again" The young alicorn gave a sigh of relief and an assuring nod to the ruler in stark contrast to the townspeople and everypony else's unhappy demeanor. Some are listening to the mayor's speech while some are gazing to the ground contemplating about the events of the past few days. Strangely, Celestia felt that out of all those ponies, she is the one most concerned about them, the future, and Equestria. Very strange indeed. She could not stop thinking about it. It worries her so much that she's actually concerned about the whole of Equestria. Hopefully, if Twilight finds out more about the situation things will be a lot less worrying to her. Hopefully. Deep in her thoughts, her luminous mane swayed along as she lightly move her head from side to side, berating herself for her constant worrying. After all, there is no cause to worry about something that might not happen, correct? What's the worst that could happen? Celestia's gaze kept at the brown mare near the three six-hoof deep graves, brushing her silver mane as her speech end. The sound of clopping hooves entered in soft applause while the mayor motioned for the stallions at bay to finally lower the coffins. They began on the sarcophagus on the left, interestingly the one that housed the first victim. The unicorns lifted her coffin with their magic on the the deep hole beside it, two other stallions shovel in hoof waited for its descent. They looked very simple. The bland woodwork did not do justice to these lives whose mortal coil will forever retreat to the earth, more so the stone slabs that will be erected above their graves. They were too simple... they were... depressing. As the unicorns begin to lift the second woodwork, a glint above the soulless horizon took Celestia's attention. Her gaze slipped to light reflecting from several armored pegasi above the air, plainly exhausted, flying towards the funeral. As the princess study the sight further, soon everypony else of the crowd became distracted and gave way to the formation of pegasi soldiers flying towards and landing before the ruler of Equestria herself. "Princess Celestia! We flew here as fast as we could!" the guard took a deep breath as his companions gasp for air, all of them looked more terrified than simply recuperating "We came to report to you that Canterlot is under attack!" Murmurs began to sweep across the crowd, nervous looks passed to and fro as the princess enquire of more "Did you flew all the way here?" "Yes, your highness. Apologies, we don't know how to reach you otherwise" "WHAT MANNER OF ATTACK IS THE CASTLE UNDER?" the murmurs across the crowd amplified as Luna with her characteristically loud tone interrupted. "A monster is attacking the city with strange magic, your highness! Many ponies are dead and panic is everywhere" The crowd's undertone loudened even more as Celestia concerned herself about why the unicorn team didn't just use their magic to blink them all here "WHAT DOES THE MONSTER LOOK LIKE?" The guard thought for a while "Well - uh - it was tall, standing on its hind legs-" "-it didn't have any fur - and it's skin was scarred all over and ugly!" one of the guards added "Yes! and it was making magic with something long that it was carrying!" Several of the guards nodded wild child-like acknowledgement. Celestia turned to her star pupil creeping up on the conversation, Twilight's eyes magnified and mouth agape in disbelief. The ruler turned back to the guards "Are you sure you have seen the monster clearly?" "Yes. We were told to report to you the danger as soon as we identify the monster" "All of you?" The guard turned to the rest of his team and lowered his head "Well.. most of the stallions here fled from the monster and joined us. Apologies, your highness. The carnage was... very overwhelming" "I understand" Princess Celestia turned to Twilight and the rest of the loudly mumbling crowd, she assert to them fairly loud and audible "I'm very sorry that we have to leave the funeral early, but there is a matter that needs attending" The thrumming all but subside as Twilight began to voice "Princess Celestia, please let me come with you" Eyes met, an uncertain look passed from the ruler "Twilight, i'm not sure if-" "Please Princess, this could be the monster that we're looking for! You have to let me come with you!" "Twilight, what's goin' on?" The alicorns turned to the farmer pony approaching them, not less confused than they are "Are y'all sayin' the monster's attacking Canterlot?" "We're not sure Applejack" Twilight regretted to continue "but it could be the case" "Then lemme come with ya!" "NO" Celestia resounded sternly "I do not want to bring anypony else in danger" "But please princess-" The ruler turned to the pleading alicorn "-at least let me come with you! You know i can help, and I need to know more about what's happening!" Celestia retreated to her thoughts for a moment. Twilight is a much capable pony, but she does not want to risk more lives than she needs to. But if there's anypony who can figure out what's happening, it's most likely her star pupil too... "TIME IS RUNNING OUT SISTER, WE NEED TO MOVE NOW" She glanced to her sister. No wiser words have ever been spoken so far. Not thinking a situation like this through is very risky, but there maybe a better time to worry. "... Alright, you may come" The relieved pupil nodded and turned to the farmer pony as the latter embraced her, hope and caution wished "Take care Twilight, y'all be careful now" "We will, Applejack" Twilight turned back to the princesses, her stature resounding "I'm ready" Princess Celestia faced the guards trying to conceal their jadedness, to Luna's impatient eyes glaring at her, to the disconcerted crowd - the sound of their unrest not unlike that of a riot. She shut her eyes closed and meditated with difficulty despite the particular spell being habitually cast. Sky blue light engulfed from her long horn and surrounded the ponies around her. The way to the castle was very linear. Too linear. Laughably linear. Stupidly linear. It's so linear the way is practically a straight line! He likes it when things are conveniently simple, but sometimes things are just too easy. Regardless, here he stood in front of the royal castle looking royal as shit. No really, it's so grand it looks very much like a stock castle or some crap like that. The illusion of distance made the castle look taller than it probably is, the paint job is so sparkly white it's probably glittering, the door to the entrance were barred closed, a battalion of armed horses lined up at the fortress firing lasers coming out of their horns at him and shit... Eh, you know, nothing's perfect. As Deadpool side-steps every laser beam coming with pussy fairy sound effects, he grabs hold of his second to the last grenade. Unlatching it from his belt, he blew it a good-luck kiss and threw away his beloved work of art at the giant shut doors as he evade every 'pew pew' coming his way. With the sound of sweet explosion entering the ambient crossfire he runs away from the castle and stopped. Steeled himself. Futile light shows surround him eager for his demise. A confident and bad-ass grin crept at our hero's visage as he rush towards the damaged doors vandalized by the explosion - still intact, but not for long. Caring not to brush off blows thrown at him, he leaps towards the sturdy doors after saying a short prayer to the God of Thunder, Rock and Roll, and the Power of Greyskull - in that order, for their blessing while his rock-hard six-pack abs twist in mid-air darting his kung-fu legs at the unfortunate barrier before him. Slow motion. He remembers the wise words of Master Yoshi 'Thou shalt leap like a grasshopper, young grasshopper' Deadpool took them to heart, his pose still imposing on the door, rays of light swarmed around him with agitated low-pitched 'woosh woosh' sounds. Time shifted back to relatively normal speed as Deadpool FUCKING HIGH-JUMPED THE SHIT OUT OF THE CASTLE DOORS - FUCK YEAH!!! Through the wreckage he lands on the floor, crouched with his left foot forward and his right hand to the floor, his opposite arm turned away and doing the rock-and-roll sign like the true samurai ninja slayer warrior he is. He looks up. Inside, terror poorly hidden behind cold and trembling white pony faces surround him. Girly unicorn horns vibrating like the implied sex-toys they are, pointed at him, mayhap with implied homosexual intentions, or not. He stands up. Scoffed as all the unicorns took a step back in retaliation and fear, without thought for gratitude to be near enough to bask in all his Deadpool glory... only one thing left to complete this intro. Bad-ass one-liner time. "What's the matter?" He cracked his neck and slowly twisted his shoulders, both for warm-up and effect, the stallions mumble unimportantly as he continued "You all sound a little..." Wait for it... "... Hoarse" A no way too generic and fucking metal song started playing in Deadpool's head as all the unicorns lose their shit. He leaped towards the unfortunate unicorn in front of him as he was again greeted by the familiar barrage of swarming lasers around him. Grabbed hold on the stallions’ horn and placed his feet on its armored shoulders as he push away and twist at the unicorn's flickering tusk, breaking it away. The sound of dispelled magic entered the crossfire as cries of agony and horror follow in its wake. Filled with bloodlust, Deadpool slid under the unicorn and using his new weapon, commenced to stab the equine at its underside repeatedly. Pleading cries fell to deaf ears, the stallion's struggles deterred as blood pour down with every stab from the dismembered horn. Its white fur littered red with every puncture, panic amplified as it pass from pony to pony, torn vital organs followed streams of blood slithering down from the stallion's vulnerable spot. Statistically, it's hard to stab anything to death. God knows Deadpool tried. He slid away from under the wobbling stallion before it fall to its side, eyes losing vitality, voice hysterical and broken as vigor crept away from its trembling coil, begging for death's swift embrace. He leaped from the floor, footing restored as his legs carry his body and resisted a dramatic pause to shove his stabbing hand at the throat of the unicorn on his right. His free arm grabbed hold of its horns and controlled the momentum of the soldier. driving it around him in circles for evasive action. Petrified and the smell of death lingering in its muzzle, the stallion gaped at its puppet master. An imposing maniacal smile stared him down - hungry for pain. Eager for Death. The Merc with the Bloodlust displaced his gaze quickly to each and the other unicorns around him, all of them ambivalent about attacking him. He let go of the unicorn's horn, slid his hand under its right shoulder and lifted it towards the ponies in front of him. The horn speared at its windpipe pulled itself away as he threw the guard at their direction. His spider-sense alerted him of a stallion behind him approaching before he delivered a quick and powerful high-kick to its head. The blow jolted its skull upside, breaking away from the neck - instantly taking its life as robust hooves gave to the bloody floor. He turns. Several stallions before him, all terrified at the thought of attacking him trembled. Grinning, he reared his weapon as if to strike - he almost scoffed as the stallions all took a step back. "BOO!" All the pony horses didn't hesitate to run away, shitting themselves in terror. Deadpool couldn't resist laughing as the fucking dumb-asses trip over their dying buddies as they run to the exit. "Haha! This is so easy it's almost unsatisfying" it's as if his prayers have been answered when he turned around to see a straight formation of stallions all lined up with Discord - his primary target - standing behind them. "Haha... please, Hurt me plenty" ... okay okay, enough Doom references. An evil smirk and a raging glare exchanged from the faces of monsters. Deadpool stood mockingly, the sound of dying stallions around him all taunting the draconequus into action. Discord snapped his fingers and immediately the horns of the unicorns around him began to glow with yellow light. "FIRE!" Before Deadpool's eyebrow could fully lift, lethal yellow laser beams showered all around his direction. He took some hits. Intense rays burn through his shoulder and his chest clean through. "AAH! Oh shit!" danger now significantly higher, he quickly changed his strategy to the 'run away' variety. On his way, he grabbed hold on one of the random corpses the horses he killed earlier to use for cover. He lifted the carcass, its armor reflecting the lasers as he make his swift--wait. The armor is reflecting the lasers?! "Wha--.. AHAHA!!" an ecstatic cry just came as he was now armed with a suitable defense! "FUCKIN' AWESOME!" He pressed forward the unicorns as he begin to use the corpse's armor as a weapon, quickly turning the tides. Talk about surprise attack! "NO!" Discord immediately regretted to amplify the royal guards' magic with his. Celestia must have enchanted the armors of the royal guard against his magic! How could he have not known?! "STOP FIRING! STOP FIRING!" his words were muffled out by exchange of lethal magic. Fear kept the royal guards firing at Deadpool despite their blows reflecting to every angle, even theirs. By pure skill, Deadpool shifted the dead unicorn's armor to reflect a beam towards a chain holding a large beautiful and intricately decorated chandelier conveniently located on top of them. Cliches are awesome. The sound of lasers were replaced by that of thousands of shards of glass shattering on the floor, shattering on armor, shattering on fur, shattering on flesh. It's like hearing somebody getting shit at - but with class! The fall took Discord off-guard as he try to free himself from the decor. Pain slowed him down as glass impaled all over his body, some almost getting in his eyes. His head only extended inches out from under. "Gah!... Goodness, why did this castle have such a large chandelier anyway?" still gathering his thoughts, he felt weight push him down as if something stepped on the rubble holding him. He looked up and saw Deadpool, his stance taunting and a smirk on his face. Finally the time came. He reached for the large robust weapon on his back and giggled as sweet desolation almost near its course. He paused as he lifted the ultimate symbol of devastation in his hands and gave thanks to the lord Stan Lee and Saint John Romero for this kill he's about to reap. Finally, he aimed the work of art at the draconequus. The beautiful work of art known as The Gun. The Big Gun. The Big Fucking Gun. THE BIG FUCKING GUN 9000! Okay I lied, there was one more Doom reference. "SAY HELLO TO MY BIG FUCKING FRIEND!" He pulls the trigger and watched as the BIG FUCKING GUN immediately melt on his hands and poured harmlessly all over the wreckage below. ... "... what the..." he turned to Discord's equally bewildered eyes "... uh.." The draconequus pushed away the chandelier with Deadpool still standing on it, sending him off ground. Discord's eyes swiftly fell on the stallions around him, some groaned weakly while the others laid lifeless on the wreckage. Fur smoked where fatal blows from the lasers landed. This was his fault. These guards were dead because of him. Unwilling to harm anypony else, he takes flight and began to think of the nearest place where nopony is at this time of day. Luckily, he knows just the place. Deadpool regained his composure from the throw and saw Discord running away from the party. This was his last chance. He unlatched the last grenade strapped on his waist and looked at it with determined eyes. Time slowed down again as he threw the bottle at the chinese dragon rip-off in epic slow motion, his eyes on the grenade moving with deadly accuracy towards the target. With only a few feet away, he awaits the spectacle of sweet sweet explosion only to see Discord immediately spin around and catch the bottle in mid-air. His eyes widened. He said a silent 'FUCK' as the dragon throw it back to him. Time traveled too fast as it sprang towards him and exploded at his footing. The eruption flared between his legs, bottle shrapnel and cinder singed and impaled around his thighs, nearly castrating him. "AAAHH! AAAAAH!" Deadpool immediately fell on his back, his legs twitched in pain while he screamed like a little girl "AAAHHH!!! AAAAAAHHH!!! .... AHh... ahh... FFFFUUCK! Another dick joke?! REALLY?! AAGH!" Anger overtook agony as he attempt to stand. Ached grunts exhaled as his legs tried to lift his body "FUCK!... ah... WHO THE FUCK THINKS THIS IS EVEN FUNNY?! HUH?!" he turned as he heard the sound of one of the stallions he attacked choking on the floor. Its head twitched as blood drip endlessly from the hole of the neck. He walked and voiced towards it "You think this is funny? Huh? DO YOU!?" the stallion continued to choke as blood dripped and tears streamed down its eyes. "Look at me when i'm talking to you!" He kicked the stallion. No response "What does this universe have against my seed? huh? TELL ME!" He blasted his anger on the horse, kicking it again "TELL ME!" a few more kicks to the twitching stallion. He paused to catch his breath "... Okay... Fine then" He lifted his right leg and brought it down on the horse's side "This is for that time i fell on that branch on the forest!" He lifted his leg and brought it down again "This is for the time that bird pecked on my pecker!" He felt the cracking of bones under his foot as he continued pulverizing the stallion "This is for the time that squirrel took a bite of my nuts!" flesh caved as his foot smashed the stallion's body "This is for the dicks that loves these penis jokes!" The stallion tried to shut its eyes as its entire body shiver in agony "This is because I've erected that particular point!" "This is because making dick jokes is kind of hard!" "This is because of the ensemble of unicorns i had to finish up to get here!... whoa, that sounded wrong" "This is for that idea even coming up!" "And THIS is because I've spilled all the puns i can think of!" "I think I wasted enough time" Lifting his foot, Deadpool left the mangled mess that used to be the stallion and started to look for Discord. Going to the direction he assumed where the dragon left, he came across a forked hallway going to several other places in the castle "huh... Heeeeey Discoord!! Where you at?" The sound of large doors closing echoed loudly far at the path in front of him "Well, that wasn't very elusive!" He ran through the hallway and soon enough faced the closed double doors. Noticing that there wasn't any doorknobs, he tried to push it open. The doors resisted his push, being barred from the other side. Of course it's barred. What a pussy. "Hah.. like this is actually gonna stop me" He moves to the side and faced the door on his right, rearing his right foot and brought it down at the base of the door. Seeing the door resist the Deadpool force, he reared at it again and smashed with even greater Deadpool force "Let's make this quicker and easier for everyone and just open the door to me, alright? I got a quota to catch up with!" as he continued to ram the door's base with his foot, wood started to chip away as it continued to resist the mighty power that is Deadpool's kick. His foot finally went through. Wood shrapnels chipped his leg as he bore away at the hole, making it larger. Finally, he slipped inside and saw a relatively quiet and peaceful hallway adorned with beautifully decorated stained glass windows, a long red carpet extending from a throne atop a podium, other fancy stuff like columns and some shit - but no sign of Discord. "Huh.." As he start to walk around the hallway, he heard a jolt of magic behind him. Turning around, he witnessed the opening he made closing as the doors turn into stone. Trapping him inside. "Woah.." he looked around the hallway with suspicious eyes "heh.. you know... trapping me here may not be your smartest move..." "You don't know who you are dealing with, Deadpool" Discord's voice boomed around the throne room, for some reason "I can easily make you cease to exist! The only thing more powerful than me is the elements of harmony!" "Are you now?" Deadpool continued pace "given the amount of lasers you've all thrown at me now, you'll have to forgive my skepticism" "You think I was trying to kill you? I was aiming to subdue you! I'll leave to Celestia the decision for your fate" "Hah! What a lame excuse. Show yourself and make yourself look less like bullshit, will you?" "I think not. Soon the princesses will come here, and you have nothing to do about it" Celestia's horn glowed with tremendous restraint, her face grimaced with the effort to cast the teleporter spell. Her sky blue aura covering everypony around her flickered and finally vanished, darting her eyes everywhere in confusion. "... My..." Her eyes turned to Luna and Twilight, both equally staggered "... My magic.. I can't focus my magic at..." The ruler turned to Canterlot's direction at the horizon. Strong winds swept from her large wings as she retract them. The crowd watched as Celestia immediately take-off in flight directly to Canterlot in the distance. "SISTER!" Luna lifted her wings and swiftly followed after her sister, murmurs amplified even more as they look on at their rulers in confusion. "..What.. What happened?" Twilight turned to Applejack beside her, both of them confused by what's happened "... What?.." "The princesses huh..." Things are starting to look grim for our hero. Looks like Discord is determined to keep him trapped here. Obviously, he needs to think of something. Fast. Pondering for a few seconds, Deadpool studied the hall. Looking for whatever slight sign of Discord's presence "You know, I don't get you... If you're so powerful and able to kill me - why don't you just do it? You said it yourself that you didn't want me alive!" "I don't" Discord's voice boomed around the hallway "I really really don't. I abhor you very much, honestly. But I promised to use my powers for good" "You did huh?" His pace nearing him towards the end of the hall "That sounds lame" "A monster you maybe, but there is hope for you" Deadpool stopped as he stood before the throne that really is less like a chair and more of just a fancy pedestal. It didn't have a seat to be honest and is just a back rest... What the fuck kind of throne is this? "There always is. Just like how there was hope for me... even when I didn't believe there is" Deadpool cringed at the words "Ewwww! Where did you get your material from? The Disney Channel? Am I really not in the Disney Universe? I ain't so sure now..." "I don't like you one bit, but so did everypony else with me before" The draconequus' voice lowered to a sympathetic tone "All of that changed because one pony believed in me... and I've never felt more fulfilled in all my life to finally have a friend" ... What the fuck is this shit? "Aww... ISN'T THAT SWEET? somebody grab me a bag to vomit in please! Tell me, WHO is this particular pony so significant to your change for the better?" Discord kept silent. He sat on the throne and waited for a moment after his voice trailed off "... Okay! I’m going for a long-shot here...” he rubbed his chin as he think of an answer "hmm... this throne isn't really comfortable to sit at...” "-- OH WAIT! I GOT IT!" a mischievous smile made its way on the Merc's face "Is it... Fluttershy?" The hall kept silent as his words meditate around them. For some reason, the room felt inexplicably colder. "It's Fluttershy isn't it? My Deadpool sense is tingling on the word Fluttershy..." He pointed his head for emphasis as the hall kept eerily inaudible. "Let me tell you something about that Fluttershy..." He rested his back on the throne "I almost got her, you know? She's the one that lived in that cottage, am I right?" "What do you know about her?" "I know she's weak" Deadpool's sure he can feel Discord slowly infuriating "Laughably weak in fact. I mean, I'll be honest with you I’ve never seen anybody cry like she did when I killed all those animals... I mean come on, right? Who the fuck cries over their pets like that?!" he rested his shoulders on the mildly uncomfortable throne "I'm afraid that if I show up at... uh... Rarity's place, I’m afraid she'd die of six heart attacks before I even gut her open" "How did you know about that?" "You should've seen her face back there... I mean YOU JUST GOTTA see it to believe, man. I’m not sure if words--" "HOW do you know about that?!" "-- are capable to fully describe the agony I was fortunate to witness. Her hysteria as animal blood pour over me. Body parts. Flesh. Internal organs flying away with every slice of my swords... you can practically tell--" "HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS STAYING?!" "-- the light reflecting from her tears... damn. There's just no satisfaction like that, I tell you... haha... ha..." pestiferous laughs echoed while Deadpool continued to slump his back at the throne. "There I stood! - The smell of despair and blood surrounds me. My swords in both hands, I turned to the little cry baby - her eyes painstakingly red with tears--" "Shut up" "-- gazing at me with mercy that'd make Tobey Maguire cringe. Her heart shattered to billions of pieces as i--" "Shut up!" "--stepped over mutilated flesh, once recognizable as her animal friends. She grabbed a little rabbit next to her. I followed. My hunger for demise insatiable, I ran to the helpless pony with tremendous speed. The pony--" "SHUUT UUP!!!" "-- without strength and hope could not outrun the demon catching up behind her... Finally almost within arm's reach, her little bunny leaped from her embrace- sacrificing itself for her life. It attacked my fucking face and I tripped as Fluttershy escaped to my embarrassment... he he... either way, I only wished she was there to watch as I pulled the rabbit away from my face and began to squeeze it to death. Its eyes, I gathered, begged me to either stop or give it a swift death - none of which I granted as my hands tighten with each second. Bones cracked and caved inside, piercing whatever vital organs it can. Rabbit feces squeezed out from its asshole. Delirious cries gurgled out as vomit overflow from its mouth... ugh, I’ll have to remind myself to take a bath next time" Deadpool looked around the tense and silent room. It really did feel very cold and tense around him "hmm... I guess I CAN express it in words! That was a good story now wasn't it?" Complete silence endured. "No?" Silence. Complete and utter stillness suffered in the cold lifeless hall. "Oh well, I’m sure Fluttershy will agree with me when I tell her myself" The throne immediately exploded under Deadpool, sending him careening mid-air "AAAAHH! WHAT THE-?!!" faced down, he slid across the carpet several meters away before friction would halt him. He tried to turn upside, only to realize he can't feel his legs "AH!! SHIT, My legs!" As he pushed himself facing up, he looked down and saw both of his limbs dismembered - save for half of his left thigh and most of his crotch "AAAHAH! My legs... ah!..." He looked forward the throne and saw Discord towering before him. A terrorizing glare from the ghostly dragon visage peered onto him. Strangely... the first thing Deadpool feels like doing... is to laugh. "AAHH! Ahh.. ha... haha... HAhaha.. HAHAHA!.. ha. You know... if you hated that chair so much you could have at least told me to get up before you blew it apart!" "In all my years of existence, never have I resorted to kill anypony. Ever" He snapped his claw fingers. A magic aura enveloped Discord as his already giant form grew in size. Almost a few inches from the roof, he lifted his enlarged paw "You'll be the first. And I’ll do it very slowly... very... very slowly" The tiles shattered underneath as he smashed his colossal paw at Deadpool. He lifted it only to see that the monster wasn't there "What?!" He felt a latching at the back of his paw and sure enough, the nuisance was clinging there "HEY!" He moved his forepaw swiftly to every side to shake him off "GET OFF MY PAW!!" Deadpool kept resisting the strong winds trying to sweep him off. Swooshing back and forth, he timed the paw's movement and let go - sending him in the air above the hideous-dragon... thingy. Damn, what other synonym does chinese-dragon rip-off have? With swift precision he was able to shift his weight, letting gravity pull him down on Discord's surprised face, much to his misfortune, and much to Deadpool's fortune. Heh "GGAAHH! GET O--" Deadpool slipped through inside his mouth as soon as Discord opened it followed by the sensation of blood dripping and pouring all over his mouth and tongue as Deadpool scurried through his throat making him gag. He grabbed his neck to try to push Deadpool out, but he finally felt him slid through. "Yeah! Fu--ewRHWREHwwr!" Internal organ juice entered Deadpool's mouth before he could start to rub his stink through every section inside the dragon. Trying to talk was a really bad idea. "Frrwrrrfffff!" closing the mouth sounds like a good idea too. "Fwwmm?-mmh!" He closed his mouth. Bleck. The taste of blood juice is pretty disgusting. Deadpool's hand can feel some important internal organ parts within reach... Suddenly, a wild Trollface appeared on his face. "AAAHHHAA!!" Discord fell to the floor as he felt his insides being pulled apart everywhere. He shuddered on the floor as holes punctured everywhere inside and innards continued ripping apart mercilessly. The pain made his magic worn off, returning him to his normal size, tears spontaneously erupting while his cheek laid on the floor, powerless. Vomit mixed with blood poured from his mouth, his raspy voice softened as his eyes kept darting everywhere with horror. Every second Deadpool is ripping away anything he can reach inside, and all he can do is convulse pointlessly. They say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. What if you've lived since eternity? Do every single memory flash before you? Every single heartbreak, elation, and even boredom? ... if not, what memory would separate itself from the rest of your life? Discord remained slumped beside Fluttershy, both of them gazing at the solitary tree outside the room's window. Wind racing softly on exuberant leaves, suffering the scrutiny of its two spectators silently watching from the comfort of Rarity's elegant chamber. He heaved a sigh. His gaze turned to the completely silent and still pegasus, her eyes sunken and mildly concentrated outside the window. He really isn't good at comforting anypony. He'd take all the help he could get if any just to cheer Fluttershy up. Usually its Angel who knows how to handle things like this... hey... A content smile and snap of his claws, a small flash of light materialized on the spot beside the oblivious mare. She turned. The shape of a little white rabbit was clutching her wing. Her eyes magnified as she focus on the familiar form. It was a little white rabbit, clutching on her wing. But it's head was that of a goat. Of A draconequus. "Hi Fluttershy!" Discord raised his little bunny paws, Fluttershy's gaze kept dumbly on him "Ah? You feel better now?" She paused to study his form, Discord waiting for a slight smile or a little laugh in the least. A short moment of eyes slowly fluttering, a tear streamed before she turned away from him. Her head low. Silent wails alarmed him. "Oh! Wait wait - don't cry!" Another flash of light and Discord turned back into his draconequus self "It's me! I-i-i didn't meant to make you cry! Uhh--" As Fluttershy continue to cry, Discord materialized a balloon. He began to shape the balloon into an animal and offered it to her "Fluttershy! Don't cry! Here! I made this for you!" She looked up and saw the balloon animal in Discord's paw. She began to wail even louder, making Discord panic a bit "No no no! Please don't cry! I’m sorry!" The sound of the door opening made Discord turn to see Rarity and Twilight Sparkle at the door, a look of anger and surprise both on their faces Discord's spasm intensified as he felt Deadpool burrowing through his bowels, monstrous little claws digging out from his posterior. "aaaaAAAAAHHH!!!" Deadpool's head was the first to peek out from Discord's asshole. Pulling out his arm, he tried to push himself out "GROOOOSSSS!!! I am LITERALLY your SHIT! AAAAAHHH!! HAHAHA!" Deadpool finally got out from Discord's body. A pool of blood came out with him. "Nnggh... crap, I really need to take a shower now" he faced the twitching draconequus, remarkably still alive and conscious if not broken "Hah... I just went DEADPOOL in your ass! … Hey... that sounds right! I now proclaim 'I'm going Deadpool on your ass' a new catchphrase! I'll try using it often" Despite all reasoning, Discord with remarkable strength turned his body to him. His claw pointing at him, twitching from the continuous pain he's under "... HAH!... You just won't give up, do you?" Discord with his ounce of strength fired a lethal beam at the maniac. Deadpool rolled himself away and the beam shot the footing of the column across him instead. His pupils expanded as the towering column slowly fall to his direction... "Discord! What are you doing?!" Twilight ran towards them and embraced Fluttershy "And how did you get here before me?!" "I-I'm not doing anything! I-I swear! I just wanted to help!" He waved his paw and claw around "Discord!" He turned to Rarity's exasperated voice "I think its best that you leave now" "But! I-" "LEAVE!" Discord turned to Twilight's scowl, her hooves around Fluttershy "LEAVE! You're not helping!" His eyes turned at Fluttershy wailing almost silently, to Twilight's offended glare, and Rarity's concerned face. Anger began to rise, he snapped his fingers and teleported himself outside the boutique. He stood and looked back to Rarity's home one more time before displacing himself back to his quarters at Canterlot. The large column fell and crushed Discord's entire frame. A claw sticking out from the rubble among the large pool of blood splattered all over the column and the floor - the only evidence of Discord's presence in the room. Deadpool paused and savored the subsiding sound of the reverb of his well earned victory. "Definitely not the first time you spilled bodily fluids on that spot" As he try to sit himself up, he heard the sound of clopping hooves. The applause variety, you sick bastard. [[YYEAHH!!! THAT. WAS. AWESOME!]] Of course, Demonic Pinkie Pie just appeared with a small trail of black smoke, giving an applause worthy to die for [[DISCORD WAS LIKE--WOOSH WOOSH! AND YOU WERE LIKE-WAAAH!-AND DISCORD WAS LIKE-AAAAH!! ANDthenyouwentinsideand TORE HIS INSIDES OUT! Or maybe in. ANDTHENYOUDUGYOURSELFOUTSIDE His BUTT!! HAHA!! ANDTHENYOUEVADEDHISMAGIC AND THE COLUMN FELL ON HIM! and SPLAT!! HAHAHA!!! THAT. WAS. AWESOME!!!]] "Haha! Thank you, Thank you!" He waved his hands to her, because deep down he's really a humble guy "It was nothing, really! I wasn't even trying!" okay okay, he's a douchebag. He tried to stand up as the demonic cheerleader continue clopping her hooves. Heh. He stumbled, seeing as that his legs haven't regenerated yet for some reason. It'll probably grow back in 30 minutes or so. He turned back to his kill, blood was spreading on the floor like crazy and the scent of Discord's inside is still lingering inside Deadpool's mouth and nose... interestingly, it smells just like Taco Bell. [[So? Are you ready to go now? I can't keep blocking this place forever!]] "No, not yet" He approaches the puddle of blood around Discord "I'll just mark myself in history first" Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash finally reached the rioting funeral. They stopped as ponies everywhere mumble loudly to each other, the look of anxiety on everypony's faces. "Huh? Are funerals supposed to be this noisy?" "It wasn't like this when I left! Something must have happened" Scouring the pandemonium, Rainbow Dash saw Twilight and Applejack at the far end in the distance "Pinkie! There's Twilight and Applejack! Follow me!" she zipped through atop the roaring masses "Dashie! Wait!" Pinkie Pie pushed through the crowd as Rainbow completely leave her "Dash! Ahh! Oh, excuse me!" she pushed through several stallions "Sorry! Excuse me! Pardon me!" "Twilight! Applejack! Why is the crowd panicking?" they turned to Rainbow Dash, Twilight began "The guards here told us Canterlot is under attack. For some reason, the princesses flew there" "Huh? Why? Couldn't Princess Celestia teleport there instead?" "... We're not sure" "I reckon it might involve the monster" The two ponies turned to Applejack "Twilight, you saw what happened back at the farm! I’m mighty positive that the monster is doing some strange magic!" "We don't know that, AJ. Let's not draw conclusions here" "Well, what could it be?" Applejack retorted "You're the element of magic, you tell us!" "Guys!" Both of them turned to Rainbow Dash "I came here with Pinkie, she found some weird stuff from the forest" At that moment, Pinkie Pie finally reached them "Whoa! Funerals sure are rioty!" "Pinkie! Show them the saddle thing!" Rarity saw the gang together "Fluttershy, stay here. I'll go check what's going on" Fluttershy gave her a weak nod and continued to her friends "... I know that! The monster was wearing that! I’m sure of it!" Applejack was the first to comment about the belt Pinkie held in her hoof "That is a really peculiar design" Rarity joined suddenly joined them "Where did you get that... saddle?" "Around the woods where we lost the monster" Twilight, Applejack and Rarity gazed at Pinkie "If you think that's weird, you better see some of what's inside!" Amid the riot. Fluttershy's gaze kept at the tree standing near Carousel Boutique, the one that she has been staring at for days on end. Even with the noise, the nest cushioned inside the branches felt eerily silent. Eerily silent of chirps. Eerily silent of cries. After passing through innumerable corpses and panicking ponies, she finally landed before the castle. Blood that's all too familiar lately decorated the blown wooden castle entrance. She trotted inside, the smell of death lingered all over the corpses of her guards at the gate and the podium in front across the fallen chandelier. A familiar descent of wings landed behind her while she stood aghast the hall. "...WHAT... WHAT HAPPENED HERE?" Luna exclaimed as she stood outside the castle, hoping Celestia would have an answer "I don't know" She tried to steel herself, managing the many emotions she feels rushing inside "something was blocking my magic. I couldn't focus the teleporter spell anywhere near Canterlot" Luna's face morphed horrified as her sister went further in the castle "SISTER!" She went inside, the sight of the guards brutally murdered in such horrid ways it almost made her puke. She followed Celestia further in the castle, passed through a chandelier that crushed the guards "These doesn't look like hoof-prints" her eyes followed the bloody path to the throne room, on the way she saw a single giant slab of stone where the door should be "What?" Luna caught up beside her "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOORS?" "I don't know. Stand back, Luna" Celestia's horn and eyes glowed luminously as she point her horn towards the stone, unleashing a powerful jolt of magic that shattered the giant rock to pieces. Before the smoke could clear, she leaped inside only to be rooted to her spot as she take in the sight of the hallway "WHAT IS INSIDE? WHA--" Luna stopped short entering the room and stood beside her sister "That looks something the monster was carryin'! That really does belong to the monster!" Applejack pointed to a red mask designed with two large black circles around two holes held out by Pinkie Twilight followed "... How did that fit inside the pocket?" "Pinkie, can you hand me that saddle please?" Pinkie Pie gave Rarity the odd saddle, Rarity held it in her hoof and felt the rough texture to be very strange "the material is very peculiar, the rough texture feels very odd, not very much like cotton - not to mention this symbol" Rarity held what appears to be the buckle of said saddle that looked equally peculiar "I've never seen this.. emblem before, Twilight what do you make of it?" Twilight took her turn to study the buckle "I don't know... I’ve never seen this sort of symbol before either" The beautiful throne room was tarnished by blood and debris everywhere, Celestia's throne was blown apart, blood was everywhere on the carpet and tiles but most striking about this is the mangled mess of a large column on top of what could be a draconequus endlessly spilling out a pool of blood everywhere on the floor "Discord..." Celestia slowly approached the slain Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. Her hooves trembled in disbelief as she thread "Luna... bring Twilight to the Crystal Empire. Now" After hesitating at first, Luna relented and rushed outside the castle as fast as she can. Celestia's gaze kept fixed on the column, but most notable the writing written in large crooked letters. Blood still dripped from the writing, meaning that it was just recently written. A large symbol of a circle cut with a vertical line with a dot inside each half was drawn next to a message written in Discord's blood DEADPOOL WAS HERE Light from the sun began to descend. At the stained glass window, the beam shining through the Element of Kindness dimmed.