The Siege of Stalliongrad

by GrassAndClouds2


The Archduke and the Farmer

Though having only seen him for five seconds, Carrot Top quickly determined that Archduke Bobbing Fisher--a tan-coated unicorn whose brown mane had rusty-red stripes running through it--was an imposing figure. Part of it was his height, the farmer thought, and part of it was that his body looked fit enough to buck through brick walls. And, of course, part of it was that he had a glare that put Fluttershy's share to shame.

She knew that because he was fixing it on her.

"Dame Carrot Top?" Fisher's horn glowed a metallic blue and the monocle on his right eye shifted a little. Unlike Carrot Top, who was bundled up in a thick coat and fluffy hat to deal with the cold weather, he was only wearing a light windbreaker. Still, the chill didn't seem to bother him at all; it certainly didn't distract from the glare his left eye was shooting at her. "What are you doing here? Why was I not notified?"

Carrot Top gulped as she tried to work out what to say next. "Um. Well, there, uh, was a very good reason..."

"Majordomo!" called Fisher. An older unicorn with very long legs and a faded orange coat stepped out of City Hall directly behind the Archduke. "Get over to my estate and prepare it to support the knights. Thanks to Mayor Hirsute's negligence, we don't have much time... so begin immediately."

"Yes, sir," said Majordomo before hurrying off.

Carrot Top raised a hoof. "Er, Archduke, sir, it wasn't Hirsute's fault. He didn't know either. We just came up without telling anypony--"

"Irrelevant. If there is a crisis severe enough to warrant summoning the Elements of Harmony into Equestria's most important industrial city, then I--the Minister of War--must be notified, regardless of whether Trixie Lulamoon forgets once more to file the travel plans with the appropriate authorities." Fisher scowled at what Carrot Top assumed was a vision of Trixie. "Where are you staying, knight? City Hall has bedrooms for visitors on government business. I will send word to your lodgings that you six can be moved immediately. It is appropriate that you be housed there, as near as possible to the communication lines and officials of the city, so that we may all work together to defeat whatever trial has brought you here."

"Well, the thing is..." Carrot Top paused. "Um, there isn't a crisis. We came up here for personal reasons." She forced a smile. "But if something bad does happen in Rushia, now we're even closer and ready to deal with it, right? I mean, we can't assume that the Elements will only be needed around Ponyville. So some of us--"

"Some of you?!" Fisher's eyes blazed. "Do you mean to say Lulamoon allowed your group to separate during this national emergency? That the Tyrant Sun no longer need fear the six united Elements--"

Carrot Top felt herself backing up a few steps; the Archduke's anger was almost palpable. "No! I mean--uh--first of all, it wasn't Trixie. She doesn't handle our travel, ever since she took a wrong turn going to the bookstore and wound up in the Mild West. And second..." She struggled to remember what Trixie had told her about Fisher before the Gala. He was very concerned with perception; she had said, and had struggled mightily to assert more control over the free press in his province and Canterlot. "If we spend all our time clumped together, we'll frighten the populace, won't we? They'll think the Tyrant Sun could attack at any time. But if we show we aren't afraid to live our lives, that helps reassure ponies that there's nothing to fear."

"There is something to fear." Fisher glanced up at the sun, as if it was mocking him. "Though our research labs continuously attempt to devise weapons that can hurt the Tyrant, we have had little success. Your Elements are absolutely essential to national security. Dividing them..." He trailed off. "I will have words with Lulamoon."

"Well," said Carrot Top, deciding that trying to convince the Archduke that Trixie wasn't involved would just be a waste of time, "I mean, it's not actually a law that we have to stay in the same town, is it?"

"No. I tried, but Princess Luna told me she would not allow me to present it to the Court... something about violating freedom of movement."

Carrot Top really didn't know how to respond to that.

"But... if the Princess believes that there is some value in you six being allowed to separate, I will assume that she is acting wisely, and not object further. Besides, as you say, it is valuable socially to see that the knights who have fought the Tyrant personally are so unafraid of her that they do not even need to remain on their guard at all times." Fisher nodded. "How many of you are here?"

"Er, there's three of us. Myself, Dame Lyra, and Dame Raindrops."

"I see." Fisher paused for a moment. "Tonight, then, I will prepare a suitable reception for you three, in recognition of the great good you have performed for Equestria, and the sacrifices you have made."

"Thank--"

"Oh, and one more thing."

Carrot Top gulped as she saw the focused glint come back into his eyes. She knew that the pony in front of her was an industrial tycoon whose employment rolls exceeded Ponyville's population by at least one order of magnitude, and that, as an Archduke in the Night Court--not to mention the Minister of War, at a time when Equestria was in something of an undeclared War with the Tyrant Sun--he was quite possibly the second most powerful pony in Equestria, after only Luna Herself. She knew--from what Trixie had told her--that Fisher thought nothing of destroying business rivals and political opponents, and that, if he wanted to obliterate a pony for having the temerity to enter his city against his wishes, he likely could. And she knew, from what she had just seen, that he had a very strong temper. "Yes, sir?" she managed.

"I have an hour before my next meeting. As long as you are here, I'll give you a tour of the factory district."

It wasn't what the farmer had been expecting. "Me? But, uh--bwuh--"

"Of course. I'm thoroughly aware of all that you sacrificed and struggled in order to set up the Farmer's Union--an agency which benefitted your entire town, and has proven to be a viable and profitable business entity besides. Our nation needs businessponies who are as industrious and generous as you. I thus consider it part of my duties, as an industrialist and a leader of this nation, to support such ponies whenever I can."

"I..." Carrot Top blinked. She hadn't imagined that such a major industrialist would know about a farming collective in one tiny town. "I--"

"This way," said Fisher, walking off. And Carrot Top found herself following him.

***

The factories were smaller than the skyscrapers, but wider as well. Carrot Top saw block after block containing just one massive building, usually with a single large name at the front and a few smokestacks on top. All of them seemed very busy, and many of them had Fisher's name on them. They read like a list of Equestria's biggest industries: "FISHER AGRICULTURE", "FISHER RAILWAYS", "FISHER CONSTRUCTION", and so forth. There were other names too, the most common of which was 'Zephyr'--another industrialist, Fisher explained--and even a couple Carrot Top recognized. "POSEY WEATHER", for instance, was the label of the floating weather factory, which purified the smoke and soot that the city's weather ponies fanned into its massive portals.

"As you can see," said the Archduke, "this entire district is oriented around maximal efficiency and production. We consider it a moral duty to produce the goods that Equestria needs to survive and prosper, and the ponies of Stalliongrad work tirelessly to fulfill that duty." Fisher smiled, and Carrot Top could feel the pride radiating from him. "From the education of our foals to the exact path the weather factory takes through the sky, literally everything that we do is geared towards giving our all and doing our best for the greater good of Equestria."

"Education?"

Fisher nodded. "Yes. For instance, the average age at which a foal earns his or her cutie mark in Stalliongrad is just over seven months younger than the national average. A full year younger than other industrial cities like Detrot and Bitsberg, where foalish adults often insist that their foals spend their time preparing for the same jobs as their parents, even if it isn't their destined talent! But in Stalliongrad, we've found a more efficient way to do things. All foals take, in addition to their regular classes, a cutie mark discovery class. Psychologists analyze them and carefully determine what their special talents are likely to be, and then they are given projects based on those estimates. This permits them to discover their talents far quicker than even, say, the elite foals at Manehattan's Sharpwhinny Academy."

"But what if the foals don't want to rush getting their talents?" said Carrot Top. "Some of the foals in Ponyville like being blank flanks because that means they have the potential to be anything."

"That is what education is for," said Fisher. "We make sure that foals know the importance of developing their cutie marks as early as possible--after all, cutie marks are some of the most potent and powerful magic known to ponykind. Even Luna cannot change them. And, once they have unlocked their powers and know what their destiny is, they are able to begin vocational training as early as high school, which in turns results in their being more experienced and better trained when they enter the workforce. Its results are undeniable... and if you wish to implement this program in Ponyville, I would gladly loan you some of the psychologists and project developers."

Carrot Top thought for a moment about what would happen if somepony proposed this plan to Cheerilee. Shifting aside the resultant image of Cheerilee throttling Fisher, she said, "I can see how that would result in better factory workers."

"Not only that, but it permits truly long-range planning." Fisher led Carrot Top up to a big factory labeled 'FISHER AEROSPACE.' "When I first decided to pursue research in blimps and zeppelins, for instance, I determined about how many of each type of worker I needed, and then checked the lists of foals to determine how many research scientists, engineers, technicians, pilots, and so forth I might be able to obtain. There weren't enough pilots, for instance, so I paid for a few performances of the Wonderbolts to excite the foals, which convinced several of them that they were destined for flight--and their cutie marks bore that out. When I saw that we lacked research scientists, I offered scholarships to bright foals from other cities and led them down the right path to nurture their talents. We had, that year, far too many foals with 'crafting' or 'technician' cutie marks, so I knew that I could afford to have very high standards for those jobs because there would be many ponies who wanted them. The results are clear--Fisher Aerospace has already produced ten airships, to be launched next month, which are faster and more luxurious than anything currently in the air."

Carrot Top was still processing all that Fisher had told her. "And your own cutie mark," she said, gesturing at the hammer that was shooting out two stars on Fisher's flank. "It relates to... building the city? Knocking it into shape? Producing 'star'-quality goods?"

Fisher laughed. "Actually, no. I was originally a research scientist; that cutie mark relates to magical crafting and enchanting objects. But, as a noble, I was obligated to sacrifice that career in exchange for the more important task of running my factories, my province, and the nation." He shrugged. "I'm sure you're familiar with that sort of sacrifice, Carrot Top. Unless your cutie mark refers to business as well as farming?"

"Er." Carrot Top could too easily understand the frustration of having to deal with business nonsense instead of what she was good at and loved doing--growing delicious carrots. "Yes, I suppose."

"Good." Fisher gestured a hoof at a building next to them labeled 'FISHER AEROSPACE' and rapped on the door. "Why don't we--"

The door blasted open and a pony jumped out, almost colliding with the Archduke. Faster than Carrot Top could watch, a pony broke away from a small group behind them and raced to intercept. The latter pony tackled the first, and the two collapsed in a heap.

Carrot Top stared.

Then Fisher sighed as he looked at the two of them. "Volk, let him up," he grumbled. "Taks, what do you want?"

Volk--a mangy pony with a build akin to the Manehattan mafia thugs who had tried to abduct Dinky once--reluctantly got to his hooves and stepped back a few feet. "Sure, boss?" he asked. "He tried to jump you."

"He's not dangerous. Just an idiot." Fisher turned to Carrot Top. "Dame Carrot Top, this is Volk, my bodyguard."

"Charmed, mate," said Volk, with a smile that didn't really reach his eyes.

"Um. Hi," managed Carrot Top.

The other pony got to his hooves. He was wearing a tall hat, though--like Fisher--he wasn't otherwise dressed for the cold. His coat was a lime green and his mane was a frazzled black; his cutie mark was a line that curved into a spiral. "Faqzak Taks, Stalliongrad Times," he announced. "Got a few questions for you, Archduke!"

"Schedule an interview with my secretary," snapped Fisher. "I have work to do."

"Yeah--in Canterlot. What brings you back here when the Court's in session?" Taks grinned. "Does Luna know?"

Fisher turned slightly red. "For your information," he snapped, "The Minister of War is permitted to leave the Court freely to deal with national security concerns. As I'm sure you're well aware, being the gossipmonger that you are, our... esteemed lord mayor claims to have found an ancient castle buried beneath the city, which may contain powerful magical artifacts and weapons from the Unicorn Kingdom. I am here to ensure that the excavation process proceeds competently and that any useful weapons are identified and distributed to our military. Professor Dusty Tomes, from the Canterlot Archives, will be arriving in town this evening, and you may confirm this with him at your leisure."

"Oh, so that's why you came all this way." Taks grinned, waving a waggly leg at the Archduke. "'Cept the castle was discovered three weeks ago. Why wait so long?"

"It took that long to determine this was not another of Lord Hirsute's fever dreams. I'm sure you remember when he was convinced he had unearthed Princess Platinum's tomb, only to discover that it was that of another pony who had been buried in a platinum coffin due to vanity."

"Right..." Taks let it trail off. "Oh, Dame Carrot Top, right? Pleased ta meet'cha! Faqzak Taks, investigative reporter. Love the mane."

"Uh, thanks--"

"Right, so, anyway! Archduke, are you sure you aren't here to cover up the Coarsair scandal?"

Fisher put a hoof to his forehead. "That was caused by an idiot--I mean, by a bureaucrat in Canterlot who mistakenly shipped the body here instead of Stalliontown. There is no scandal."

"Okay, how about the Tribe X scandal then?" A few passing ponies, who had stopped to watch, gasped. "I mean, first that whole thing at the Gala--"

"First of all," said Fisher, now glaring so hard Carrot Top was surprised Taks didn't burst into flames, "Any comments I made at the Gala were obviously as the result of a poison which forced me to say things I did not mean. It's not as if we were given some kind of truth serum. Second, the 'Tribe X' scandal was caused by the antiquated census categories, which Lord Hirsute refuses to update. Complain to him if you find it offensive."

Taks smirked. "That's your best defense? Come on, Bobbing, the readers are gonna want a little more than that!"

"Tribe X?" asked Carrot Top.

Fisher turned to Carrot Top. "The census rules for this city have not been updated in centuries, and Hirsute Lord has blocked all my efforts to do so. As a result... in this city, a 'unicorn' is classified as a 'pony who has a horn that is capable of casting magical spells.' An 'earth pony' is defined as 'a pony who was born with neither horn nor wings.'" He paused. "My wife, unfortunately, though born with a horn, lost it a few years ago and does not have it now. As such, a very stupid census worker classified her as 'Tribe X' rather than a unicorn--"

"So it's not your position that your wife is less of a unicorn without her horn? Even though you're on the record as having said that magic is the most important--"

"It's Hirsute's fault, not mine!" yelled Fisher. "If he would get his part of the city out of the past, perhaps these things would not happen!"

"Well, isn't it true that your own estates are only accessible to unicorns? Doors that can only be opened with telekinesis, things like that?"

"That is to help train the youngest members of my family in using their magic; by rendering them incapable of moving through the house without it, they learn to use it when young--and additionally gain experience using magic while sick, tired, or otherwise incapacitated, which would not be the case were they only to use it when in the best of spirits. Why not complain about how every building in the historical district is only unicorn accessible, because that is how the Unicorn Kingdom built it? At least there is a reason for it in my estates beyond stupefying nostalgia, and I recommend the same for every unicorn family--just as I would recommend that any pegasi family live in a house that requires flight to get from room to room!"

Carrot Top decided not to mention mixed families, like Raindrops'.

Fisher turned on his hoof and, beckoning for Carrot Top and Volk to follow, began to walk off, but Taks chased after them. "Alright," he yelled, "What about Fisher Botany? Are you here to cover that up?"

"There is nothing to cover up!"

A crowd was now beginning to form around Taks, and it wasn't entirely friendly Carrot Top realized that, as the biggest employer in the district, Fisher probably had a lot of friends. "Um--"

"Why can't anypony get into it?"

"Because it is quarantined, you foal! That is standard procedure whenever dealing with a new type of plant that may or may not be safe!"

"Is it true your staff died?"

"No! Nopony died!"

"Is it true that Shadowbolts are investigating you?"

Before Fisher could answer, a big pony with a gear cutie mark rose up on his hooves. "You watch your tone around the Archduke!" he yelled. "He's done more for this city than all your muckraking--"

"Thank you, Gear," said Fisher. He seemed to calm upon seeing the support of his workers and staff. To Taks, "Nopony died. Nopony is investigating me. Now get away from my factories before I arrest you for trespassing."

Taks laughed. "Go ahead and try, Fisher! I am the news, and you can't stop me!" He darted through the crowd and down an alley before leaving.

"Um," began Carrot Top. "If this is a bad--"

"No. It's just him. He moved here about three years ago, and every week it's some stupid drummed-up scandal. He's about the only thing my wife, Hirsute, and I agree on--we'd be better off without him. But our Princess has decided we nobles are not to influence the press, and so..." He trailed off. "Wait. Gear, get over here."

The pony approached.

"It's not your break. Why are you outside?"

"Foremare wanted me to take a message to you."

"What is it, then?"

"Widgeteer's out on the northern steppes with the prototype airship and half the staff. Reported on the communications crystals that something weird's approaching. Looks kinda like a really big, slow snowcloud. Moving kinda odd too."

Fisher paused. "Natural? Or a windigo?"

"Widgeteer discovered the last windigo, and he's pretty sure it isn't that. It's just a massive, heavy snowcloud--probably some weather factory acting up again." Gear paused. "Um, we already contacted the garrison to help get the researchers out of its path, and Commander Storm's heading out in five with a company. Standard procedure--"

"Yes, I know. Good job. Contact the clinics and see if they're willing to put together some ponies to help too; I don't want any of our equipment to get frozen." Fisher frowned. "It's unusually cold for this time of year. If they get enveloped in a snowcloud on top of that, they could be seriously injured, even freeze... tell Storm to move on the double, Gear."

"Yes, sir."

Carrot Top blinked. "Um... if ponies are in danger, I can help too."

Fisher looked at her for a long moment. "I can't stop you," he said at last, "but I recommend against this. For all we know, this could be the work of the Tyrant Sun."

"But it could just be a bunch of ponies who might get frozen if they don't get help getting off the steppe," said Carrot Top.

"...in that case, knight, go with the garrison. They can protect you in the worst case. I'll get to my research lab and see if anything about that snowcloud seems suspicious; Gear, guide Carrot Top to the garrison." Fisher nodded briskly. "Until later, Dame." And then he was galloping off.

***

As it happened, just as Carrot Top was leaving the city--surrounded by hundreds of ponies in gleaming armor--Corona's advance scouts had moved within sight of the research teams.

"There," said one tall longma to General Gloriosis. "There's maybe fifty ponies two miles south of us. Looks like they've got a ship too."

Gloriosis was a kirin and looked every inch the warrior. Dressed in gleaming golden armor and carrying a diamond-studded sword on his back, he grinned. "Excellent. By the time Corona finishes her preparations, we may have already gained enough hostages to make the rest of this mission trivially simple--as easy as turning over one's claw."

The longma was silent for a moment. "Did Corona... authorize this?"

"She authorized me to use my judgement, Bladebeak. That's what it means to be in the vanguard."

"But, her preparations need to be--"

"Bladebeak." Gloriosis's voice grew low. "I'm sure you know of my reputation against enemies. Don't make yourself one of them."

"Yes, sir."

Gloriosis turned behind him. His entire unit was there, as were griffins and the other mercenaries and soldiers Corona had obtained for her army--a truly massive force, easily ten thousand strong. The city, he was certain, would crumble before the mighty Warlord Gloriosis, and his backer, the Sun Above. Certain victory, he mused, was sweet indeed. "Alright! We keep flying under the cover of this massive cloud until we're right on top of them, then swoop in and capture every pony there! I'll lead a team to take over that... floating thing. Remember, the Sun has promised us vast riches if we help her take this city!"

The soldiers cheered, and continued on.