//------------------------------// // The Hayseed Swamp // Story: An Earthbound Journey // by ShadeJak //------------------------------// “Rainbow, wake up!” Rarity shouted, shaking her friend awake from her nap as the submarine came to a halt, as though it’d gotten stuck in something. “Huh?” Rainbow muttered, rubbing her eyes. “What’s goin’ on? I was just… resting my eyes,” the pegasus insisted. “For nearly three hours?” Applejack asked. “Look, ah think we’re here,” she said, gesturing out the porthole to her left. The three ponies looked outside, seeing only murky water, the surface blocked out by thick moss and algae. Climbing up the ladder, Rainbow pushed open the top and looked around her. The sight before her was, without a doubt, the Hayseed Swamp. Overgrowth covered the ground, trees with sagging branches surrounded them, and the water was covered in moss and other decayed plants. Bugs buzzed about around the cattail weeds, chunks of wood, fallen hollowed logs, and lillypads that covered the murky bogs, and a strip of solid ground lay before the submarine where it had docked itself. Squinting, Rainbow saw it lead into a passage filled with impossibly thick fog that made it appear very dark the further into the swamp it went. Cautiously emerging, Rainbow tested the ground and, finding it safe to walk on, climbed out and walked onto it. “Hey, girls, I think this spot should be okay to walk on.” “Ugh! What EVER is that foul smell?” Rarity asked, emerging behind Rainbow Dash and stepping cautiously onto the strip of land. “It’s just a swamp, Rarity. Ah work on a farm, this ol’ smell ain’t got nothin’ on the pig stalls come summer time,” Applejack said. “Well, Applejack, I don’t work on a farm so I find the smell to be quite dreadful,” Rarity said, turning her muzzle up, and Rainbow grinned. “How about now?” Rainbow asked, yanking something from her saddlebag and tying it over Rarity’s muzzle. “What have you—” Rarity turned angrily, and Applejack and Rainbow immediately burst out laughing. “What did you put on my—” she touched the object with her hoof, finding it to be a rubber pig snout. “WHY YOU LITTLE—!!!” She paused, her eyes widening. “Oh my! What is that odd smell?” She took a sniff of the air and wandered towards a tree. “Girls! Something is over here!” she said, gesturing with her hoof. “Is that… could it be…?” “Where did ya get that, Rainbow?” Applejack asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Got it in Saddle Arabia while we were shopping. I remembered Pinkie Pie needed a new one after one of the cake twins teethed apart her old one,” Rainbow said. “Though I gotta say it’s pretty fitting on Rarity, isn’t it?” she asked with a sheepish grin and offering a hoofbump to her friend, who smirked and returned it, shaking her head. “Would one of you kindly come over here and help me dig?” Rarity asked indignantly. “I can smell something right over here!” “Fine, whatever,” Applejack trotted over and dug where Rarity gestured, revealing a bright pink truffle. “Oh my goodness! Is that…?” Rarity asked, sliding off the rubber snout. “It IS! It’s a magic truffle! But they were supposed to be extinct!” “Well, ah reckon nopony visits a place like this on a regular basis so if any place were gonna have ‘em it’d be here,” Applejack said, looking around. “How would you know about such a thing, Rarity?” Rainbow asked. “Before they were thought extinct, they were considered a very exquisite Canterlot and high-society delicacy!” Her eyes lit up with joy. “Girls! You have to help me find more! Rainbow Dash, you wear the snout, and Applejack, you dig!” Rarity said excitedly. “Imagine the bits we’ll make off these if we sell them, or better yet, help ourselves to a delicious dinner once Twilight returns! They say these give such a refreshing feeling a unicorn can recover all its magic after eating one!” she explained. “…Naw, ah don’t really eat truffles, Rarity,” Applejack said with a smirk. “You want ‘em, you gotta find ‘em!” Rainbow said with a grin and a laugh as she placed the piggy snout back on her friend’s muzzle. “You can not be serious! Honestly, my friends don’t wish to partake on a possible goldmine or means to keep myself and especially Twilight at the top of our game!” Rarity protested as she began to walk forward and follow the next one’s scent, only to slip and fall face-first into a bog. Sputtering out swamp water and covered in grunge, the unicorn let out an angry wail. “ARGH! How can this get any worse?” she protested as she attempted to shake the mud off, but could not. A loud and familiar fanfare was all the explanation she needed for why she’d been frozen in place. Oh you can’t be serious, not NOW! Rarity thought to herself as she saw the unwelcome sight of a familiar serpentine figure spinning down from the sky. Touching down, Discord was sporting a straw hat and his camera hung around his neck. “Well hello, everypony! Long time no see, hmm?” he asked with a chipper tone to the dumbfounded Applejack and Rainbow Dash. “Did it have to be now, Discord? Can’t you see I’m hardly at my best?” Rarity asked. “I’m here on commission this time! Checking up on a certain little dragon’s favorite mare!” Discord said, though his alibi seemed rather unlikely. “Besides, like I’d miss an opportunity like this!” he said, snickering at the sight of Rarity covered in grunge and sporting a fake pig snout over her muzzle. With a wide grin, he raised his camera at her. “Now, girls! Saaaaaaay…. Fuzzy pickles!” Before any of them could respond, Discord immortalized the sight of Rarity desperately scrunching up her muzzle trying to get the pig snout off before the draconequus could snap the photo, which confirmed she did not succeed. “Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!” Discord chuckled, his grin not wavering in the least as he looked at the photo. “This one’s sure to bring back the fondest of memories! Especially once I show it to ‘Widdle Spikey-Wikey’!” he said proudly. “No! You wouldn’t!” Rarity protested as Discord just grinned. “And deny Spike such a... flattering image of you?” the draconequus asked. “You are a vile and deranged blight upon Equestria, Discord!” Rarity said with a glare. “Flattery will get you no where!” Discord said with a wink. “Best of luck in the swamps, my little ponies, and adieu!” Discord said, spinning back up into the sky and allowing the three ponies free movement again. “You know, I think one magic truffle will be satisfactory, don’t you agree?” Rarity asked with a sheepish smile as she shook off the mud and slid off the piggy snout, pocketing the truffle in her saddlebag. “Well, perhaps we should proceed onward, hmmm?” As the three trekked onward into the misty passage ahead, however, it wasn’t long before they found themselves surrounded by nothing but darkness and fog. “Thicker then pea soup, ah say!” Applejack said. “I’d say it’s time we put that Eye of Light to use, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity said, flinching as she heard noises and sounds of movement within the mists around them. “On it!” Rainbow said, digging into her saddlebag and taking out the gem. Raising it up, the gem began to glow brightly, and in a brilliant flash of light, the mists were suddenly gone. “Well, that’s more like it!” Rainbow said with a grin. “Come on, let’s get moving!” She declared, leading the way. ~ “Uh, Rainbow?” Rarity asked. “Yeah?” The pegasus asked. “There’s no ground left.” Rarity replied. “Yeah. Noticed.” Rainbow said, staring down at the sludgy bog before them that lead deeper into the swamp. “Your point?” “You mean we have to cross through that?” Rarity asked, snorting. “Ain’t a problem for me!” Applejack said, trotting in like it was nothing, the murky water reaching halfway up her legs. “Ya comin’?” She asked with a smirk. “Right behind ya!” Rainbow said, flying over it and hovering next to Applejack before looking back at Rarity, who still flinched and shifted multiple times before she could put a hoof in. “Come on, Rarity! It’s not that bad, I’m not complaining about a little swamp water, am I?” She asked with a wide grin. “Just as I said in the sewers, Rainbow, YOU HAVE WINGS.” The unicorn shouted lividly. “Ha! Still jealous?” Rainbow asked with a chuckle before being hit with a lump of magically-levitated muck that sent her falling into the bog. “Hey!” She protested, rising from the water and shaking herself off. “Serves you right if a lady such as myself has to… once again… stain her coat in foul-smelling swamp grunge!” The unicorn replied, slowly but surely entering the bog, whimpering and flinching with every step while Rainbow shook off the rest of muck that had been thrown at her. “Well let’s get going. The sooner we can reach dry land again, the better.” Trudging through the bogs, however, proved more and more difficult by the moment. The thick mud and the water growing ever deeper caused even Applejack to show signs of fatigue. Rarity began breathing heavily as she moved behind her friend while Rainbow flew above them, searching ahead for any sign of land or where to go next. “Ah just hope we ain’t goin’ in circles, here…” Applejack said worriedly as she looked around, seeing only moss-covered trees and partially-submerged plants as far as the eye could see amidst the dimly-lit swamp. “This is nothing like Froggy Bottom Bog.” Rarity muttered. “It’s only a shame Fluttershy isn’t here she’d at least be able to navigate for us.” “You saying I can’t be a navigator?” Rainbow asked. “Sure I’ve never exactly been here, but still!” “Well, Rainbow, if you can, get above the canopy and look for any sign of tall mountains.” Rarity said. “We’ll need to go in that direction if memory serves and it should lead us south.” “On it.” The pegasus replied, flying straight up and through the canopy. Looking around, she spotted several mountains in the distance, in the direction she figured was south as the mountain that Canterlot sat upon was the opposite direction. Needless to say, despite the storm clouds now looming over the swamp, the view was refreshing as she felt more at home high in the sky. It made her miss the days when she could just chill on a nice cloud back in Ponyville, an activity she hoped she could one day get to do again when this was all over. “Rainbow?” Rarity called out from down below. “Did you find it?” “Yeah! Head left!” Rainbow shouted, flying back down to rejoin her friends, who stood frozen in fear at something. As she got closer, she saw a large plant of some kind rise from the water, numerous vines extending from its sides and a large mouth in the middle of where its petals were. “What in the…?!” She stammered. The moving plant gurgled out very oddly purple-tinted swamp water and began to lurch towards the three ponies. “You can NOT be serious!” Rarity protested, using her magic to levitate chunks of wood and debris from the water and flung them at it, tearing away one of its petals and knocking it back a little, but this seemed to only aggravate it. The plant lashed out its vines and wrapped them around Rarity and Applejack, who struggled to draw out her lasso and with a few spins, flung the loop over herself and Rarity and around the vines before giving a tight squeeze. The vines flinched and jerked as Applejack squeezed the noose tighter before they finally let go. “I gotcha!” Rainbow shouted, swooping in from above at high speed with a chunk of storm cloud ready. Positioning it over the mutant plant, she gave it a crisp kick, causing a bolt of lightning to shoot out and zap the plant, causing it to flail about wildly and catch ablaze. With a horrible, sickening gurgle, the plant vomited up viscous purple ooze and collapsed on its side, the purple slime pooling where its mouth was as life seemed to abandon it. “Well that was close.” Applejack said, putting her lasso back while Rarity let out a sigh of relief. “I take it we’re expecting stormy weather, Rainbow?” Rarity asked, looking upward. “Looks like it.” The pegasus replied. “Wonderful… yet inconvenient. We’d best hurry, then.” Rarity said, beginning to move faster through the murky bogs in hopes there’d be another strip of dry land ahead of them. “It’s weird…” Rainbow mused, looking at the fallen plant. “But I swear that gooey stuff it spat out looks familiar…” "Hold that thought!" Rarity shouted as several fish with glowing green eyes began leaping out and snapping at them. "Ugh! Get back ya nasty little things!" Applejack said angrily, bucking one and sending it flying while Rainbow swatted them away with her hooves, sending them slamming into nearby trees. "Oh no you don't!" Rarity snapped as she froze one fish in the air with her magic and flung it off into the distance. "How vile!" One more lunged out, biting into Rainbow's tail and giving a yank, causing the pegasus to fall backwards into the bog again. "SO gonna regret that!" She said, slamming her hoof into the water where it was biting down and smashing it hard enough to make it let go, and seconds later, the fish floated up to the top belly-up. "Okay, let's get back to land, alright?" Rarity asked, leading the way now. ~ “Hey, look!” Applejack shouted as they finally reached land once again twenty minutes and two fights with two more aggressive giant plants later. Galloping off ahead, Applejack stared at the wreckage that had caught her attention. “Whaddya suppose this is?” She asked, looking it over. “Looks kinda like that cider-squeezy thingamajig those Flimflam brothers were ridin’ around in when they came to Sweet Apple Acres… ‘cept ah don’t remember these propellers.” “The cider-copter?” Rarity asked as she trotted over and looked at the wrecked vehicle. “The last pony we saw with it was…” “TRIXIE!” Rainbow declared, noticing several hoof prints heading south. “And it looks like she had the same idea we’ve got! “Applejack, do you suppose we might be able to repair this and fly the rest of the way?” Rarity asked. “It’d be a big help gettin’ through this place.” Applejack said with a nod, popping open the hood of the machine with her hoof and looking inside. “Uh… the engine’s missin’. Just got some envelope in here… says ‘Dear Foals’ on it.” She said, taking it out and tearing it open with her teeth. “Let me see that.” Rarity said, floating the contents out and looking it over; snorting angrily a second later. “It’s just a photograph of her plot! Hilarious, Trixie. Ha-ha.” She said bitterly with an eyeroll, crumpling the mocking photo up with her magic and flinging it aside. “Wonder how she got on through without the Eye, though.” Applejack mused. “Does it really matter? We gotta catch up to her and fast!” Rainbow said. “More then likely she’s long gone by now.” Applejack said. “Best we can do is get to the passage to the badlands as fast as we can.” “Right, good idea.” Rarity said. Before she could take another step, however, she noticed traces of purple slime similar to what the plant had spat up earlier strewn about where they were. “Rainbow, dear… you said this slime looked familiar… you don’t think… it can’t be… can it?” She asked nervously. As if to answer, a familiar chanting was suddenly heard around them. “Oh! Oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh!” A chorus chanted as the waters rippled as something rose from them. Chunks of the ooze began to fall from the trees and plants, merging with one-another “Oh no, it can’t be!” Rarity protested. “What in tarnation is all this chantin’ and purple gunk?” Applejack asked. “It’s…” Before Rarity or Rainbow could speak any further, the globs of purple all merged together, forming a single, towering mound of purple ooze with numerous faces forming and receding on it as it looked down at the three ponies before it. “Told you, you can’t stop THE SMOOZE!!!” The giant blob declared with a deep laugh. “No-thing can stop… THE SMOOZE!” The numerous faces that formed on the Smooze’s body sang in a chorus. “What the hay’s a smooze? Sounds like some kinda dessert.” Applejack said, raising an eyebrow. “Trust me, Applejack, it’s not to be taken lightly! It’s some kind of living slime made by Queen Chrysalis that we fought a while back! Do NOT under any circumstances let it touch you!” Rarity warned, backing away as the Smooze formed a hand and swung it down at them in the shape of a fist. The three friends jumped out of the way as the bloblike creature rose from the water and slithered towards them, forming several tendrils that lashed out at them. Rainbow dodged and weaved around them as best she could, then swooped down to snag Applejack before the creature could grab her and risk causing infection to another one of her friends. “Thanks, Dash, but how do we beat this thing?” Applejack asked as Rainbow set her down and Rarity galloped to their side. “No idea! Thought we beat it last time!” Rainbow said, looking back at the advancing Smooze as it let out another deep laugh. “Well clearly, Rainbow, we didn’t!” Rarity said, her horn charging up again as she fired several bolts of magic at it, though all it seemed to do was slow it down as it drove them closer and closer to the bogs behind them. “Now what?!” Rarity asked as Rainbow glanced upward. “Hang on!” Rainbow said, flying straight up and returning with a storm cloud. The Smooze paused and regarded it for a moment before Rainbow gave it a kick, blasting the the gigantic purple glob with a bolt of lightning. The Smooze cried out in pain and receded. “It works! Rarity, AJ, keep it occupied I got an idea!” Rainbow said, zipping back up above the canopy. In seconds, she pushed down, one after the other, several storm clouds and surrounded the Smooze with them. “Girls, get back!” She said when she finished. Immediately, Rainbow dropped down on one cloud, blasting the Smooze with another bolt of lightning and causing it to cry out again. Grinning, Rainbow jumped to the next cloud, and the next, shocking the Smooze over and over and over again as she jumped in circles around it. The massive purple slime creature flailed several arms it formed, trying to swat Rainbow out of the sky and managing to destroy several of the clouds in the process, though shocking itself whenever it did so. Worried, the pegasus grabbed onto her last remaining cloud, and kicked it as hard as she could to fire another powerful bolt of lightning while Rarity kept firing magic bolts at it and Applejack bucked whatever piece of debris she could get to in order to keep it at bay. The Smooze let out an angry roar at the abuse it took and swung at Rainbow Dash, the force of the wind from its swipe sending the pegasus tumbling from the sky and crashing into her friends. Dazed, the three struggled to get up, fatigued from the trek through the swamp and the fight with the giant blob that now loomed over them, its many faces all forming hideous smiles. “Told you, NOTHING CAN STOP THE SMOOZE!” The Smooze bellowed, forming a gigantic hand that it prepared to slap down on the three cornered ponies. Before it could hit, however, a flash of light appeared behind it followed by a powerful series of magical blasts, striking the Smooze in its back and actually burning away chunks of its body in bright, star-shaped explosions. The creature’s many forming faces cried out in pain as it turned around, and Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack stared in shock and amazement at the source of the attack. “No way…!” Rainbow said, a grin forming on her face as she recognized the pony standing several feet away and facing off against the Smooze. “Did I come at a bad time, girls?” Twilight Sparkle asked, her horn glowing brightly and a confident smile on her face.