The next day at school was easier for the three girls. They now had a plan and hoped to have Spike face Diamond Tiara after he had had more practice playing against other ponies first. They knew that he was going to challenge Pinkie Pie later that day after school and really wanted to watch it play out. They were surprised when they'd heard that Pinkie Pie was pretty good at the game. After all, this game required strategy and calm thinking; not things she was known for. They decided to not focus on that, but rather turn their minds to school for once.
After school had ended the three of them went over to the library to check on Spike's progress. He decided to try out one of his other decks with Pinkie Pie to see how well it'd work against other players. It felt like a long time since he'd done that, but he was glad to be doing it again.
"Hey Spike!" Apple Bloom called when they entered the library. They saw him at a table playtesting the deck he'd made, drawing and playing cards as quickly as he drew them. He then collected the cards he played, put them back in his deck, and then shuffled then all in five seconds flat. He repeated this process three times before acknowledging the girls in the room.
"Oh. Hey, Apple Bloom. Guess you guys are ready, huh?" Spike placed his deck in one of his personal carriers and took off his red gloves. He only wore them while he played the game.
"Sure are! We know that Pinkie Pie'll be be at Sugar Cube Corner today, so let's head over there fast."
"Alright then. Let's head out." The group of players left the library, Spike explaining his new deck on the way there. He told the girls that he intended to use a Cipher deck that would copy spells onto his creatures. He had tried to create a deck like this before, but always felt like it wouldn't work out. He told them about several of his Sorceries that he'd cast and then copy onto his creatures and they were sure that Spike would soon win with his deck. When they reached their destination, they opened up the door to find Pinkie Pie surrounded by other players, each of whom had just lost to her.
"Wow! That was fun!" she exclaimed, not noticing the players' shocked expressions. "Anypony else wanna play?"
"I do," Spike said in his most dramatic voice. The players all turned their heads towards him and started whispering among themselves. "I heard you're pretty good, Pinkie Pie. I'm here to test that out."
"Hey, Spike! I'll be happy to play you. Wanna cut my deck?" Pinkie pushed her deck towards Spike as he sat down at her table.
"Sure." Spike took Pinkie's deck and shuffled it, then quickly cut it. Pinkie on the other hoof took out a large knife and, in some way Spike couldn't even explain, shuffled the cards around. "Um, okay. You wanna play or draw?" he then asked.
"How about both?" She took a box of crayons out from her hair along with some paper and placed it on the table. "Also, do you wanna have the first turn? I like it when I can pick cards from the top of my deck."
"Okay." Spike knew that this was probably going to be more than he bargained for. Each of them drew their seven cards and then began their game. "I play an Island and end my turn."
"I draw and play a Mountain. That's it!" she said, ending her turn in a cheery voice.
"I draw, play a Swamp, and end my turn."
"Hmm." Pinkie Pie rubbed her chin, something in her head. "You know what? Why don't we try something out?"
"What do you mean?" Spike had no idea what Pinkie Pie could be talking about.
"What I mean is that why don't we make this more fun and restart this game with some Lands already out? Nopony likes to wait for all their stuff to come out, right?" Spike thought this idea over and tried to figure out how it could play out. Thinking that it could help him win quickly, he decided to accept.
"Sure. How many would you want to start with?"
"How about five!" Spike smiled when he thought that idea over after all, he was about to have a whole lot of mana on the field.
"Alright then." The two searched they're libraries for Lands and placed them on the field. "I play four Dimir Guildgates and an Island." The other players saw this and started whispering to themselves. Spike definitely had a big boost with those Lands being played.
"Wowie! Haven't seen that before. These are my lands." Pinkie Pie suddenly laid down one of each color of Land. "I couldn't figure out which ones to use, so I decided 'Hey! Why not all?'" Spike saw this combination and had no idea what Pinkie Pie could be up to with all colors of lands. "Now, I play first. The first thing I'll do is tap 3 and play Charm School." Pinkie Pie showed Spike the card and he couldn't believe the text.
"You declare a color and you can't be damaged by it as long as you balance the card on top of your head?"
"Exactly." She flipped the card directly on top of the poof on her hair, the card bounding a little as it landed. "I really don't like the color Black, so how about that? Also, I tap to summon Chicken Egg. I'll end my turn, but first," she grabbed a die out of her bag and said, "I need to roll to see if my chicken transforms." She rolled, the die showing a 4 at the top. "Guess not. You're turn!"
"Great," Spike said as he looked over his cards. Most of the creatures he had were Black, so that might not work. However, if he could enchant them, then he might figure something out. Spike drew and saw something he liked. "I play a Swamp and tap to play Sage's Row Denizen, causing you to discard the top two cards of your library. I then play Jace's Phantasm and also cast Paranoid Delusions, making you discard the top three cards of your library. I then use the Cipher on Paranoid Delusions and attach it to Jace's Phantasm. I then end my turn."
"Cool!" Pinkie Pie flipped off the top five cards of her deck, revealing Double Dip, Team Spirit, a Plains and Swamp, and The Cheese Stands Alone. My turn!" She drew and declared, "I play an Island and tap to play Frankie Peanuts! Now you have to answer my yes-no questions truthfully and keep to them until the end of turn. That'll be all." Pinkie Pie hummed to herself while all the players looked at her, waiting. It took her a moment before she realized what she was supposed to do and said, "Oh yeah! Gotta roll." She rolled her die and found that it landed on 1. "That didn't work out. Now, onto the questioning."
"Uh, what're going to ask?" Spike asked nervously. He was already playing this game in a bizarre way and knew that adding Pinkie Pie to the mix was going to make things worse.
"Do you have a crush on anypony currently in this room?"
"No," he answered truthfully. "Now it's my turn. I draw and play Dinrova Horror, causing you to-"
"Remand!" she declared, placing down the counter spell. Spike was surprised to find that in her chaotic deck that Pinkie Pie had an ounce of strategy. She drew a card as a side effect of the spell and Spike declared his turn over. Unlike previous duels, the two didn't constantly announce each time they drew. It was usually a given. That didn't stop Pinkie from yelling it sometimes though.
"Yay! Thanks for not attacking me that turn. Would've been awful for me." Spike totally realized his mistake as Pinkie told him this. He couldn't believe that he could ignore a detail like that. Playing with Pinkie was obviously messing with his mind. "Now, I draw, play a Forest, and tap to summon Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental."
"I'm sorry. What was that?" Scootaloo asked.
"Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental. It's the name of the card," Pinkie explained as she played it. "I also tap to enchant it with Wordmail. For every word in the creature's name it gains plus 1 to power and toughness. Meaning that Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental becomes a 27/27 creature." Anypony who was currently drinking anything in the shop immediately spat it out. Pinkie Pie, within a couple of turns, had managed to cast an extremely powerful combo. "Now onto my Upkeep. First I'll roll to see what happens." She rolled her die and was happy when she saw it land on a 6. "Yay! My chicken now becomes a 4/4 creature as a result. And now time for another round of questions!"
"Bring it," Spike said enthusiastically.
"Alrighty then. Spike, it's time for your second question." For some reason Pinkie had a lamplight with her and shone it in Spike's face. "Last week when I made Twilight that cake shaped like a book, you said that Gummy was the one that ate the biggest piece intended for Twilight. Tell me honestly; was it you that ate the piece of cake?"
"Is this real?" Sweetie Belle asked her friends. They didn't respond, as the two were too engrossed with the question to be distracted.
"I....I...YES! I confess! I ate the piece of cake and blamed it on Gummy! It was just so good. Not only that, but Twilight kept on hiding in her room during that time, so I didn't want that really big piece to go to waste if she didn't finish it. You can't just eat part of a piece and put it away for later! That's a disgrace." Spike was sweating when he confessed this. He was worried about the consequences of lying to Pinkie Pie.
"Really? You didn't want my cake to be wasted?"Pinkie was actually pretty calm about this.
"Well, yes. I always like your cake and didn't want it to get stale or just partially eaten. It's always weird when you just eat part of a cake and then save it, you know? Plus, I actually did give Gummy some of it as well, so i wasn't a complete lie." Spike was feeling better now that he'd revealed his terrible secret to the world. "Anyway, it's my turn. I draw and play Dinrova Horror. With it's effect, I return your, uh, hold on." Spike took a deep breath and said, "Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental to your hand. You also discard a card." The onlookers cheered as the uber-powerful creature was removed from the battlefield.
"Wow. Should've seen that coming. I'll discard that instead of returning it to my hand. Don't really need it now without Wordmail." Pinkie seemed entirely unfazed by the loss of her card. "Is that it?"
"Nope. I also attack with Jace's Phantasm, bypassing your creatures without Flight and dealing damage directly to you. Not only are you now at 19, but you also discard 3 cards from your library as well. With my creature's special ability, it's now a 5/5 creature because you have more than ten cards in your graveyard." Spike was now regaining his cool as his game was coming together.
"Awesome! I draw and play Spatula of the Ages along with Eye to Eye/ With the second spell, I target your ghostie and challenge you to a staring contest. If I win, that card gets destroyed." Pinkie Pie started staring sharply at Spike, the challenge apparently begun.
"You can do this," Spike said to himself in his head. "I know you can. All you have to do is not bli-" He blinked.
"Woohoo!" Pinkie cheered as Spike discarded his winning card. "I end my turn, but have one other question to ask you now."
"What is it?" Spike asked, looking over his hand.
"Did you know that I'm about to give you a really big hug because you're such a sweet dragon for appreciating my baking?"
"No, I-" Spike was interrupted as Pinkie Pie crushed him with an enormous hug. He was started to feel lightheaded until Pinkie finally relented.
"That's all. Your turn."
"Very well," Spike said, catching his breath. "I draw and play a Swamp and summon Crypt Ghast. That's all for me." Spike knew that he wouldn't be able to do much, if any damage as long as Pinkie Pie had that Enchantment of hers in play. He'd need to do something, or else he had no hope. He somehow needed to remove the card from her head. "Actually, Pinkie, you mind if I ask you something quickly?"
"Sure! Whatever you want."
"I was just wondering how you've managed to keep that card on top of your head all this time. Seems pretty difficult to continually do."
"It's simple. i just need to really concentrate on keeping it up there and that's all. I mean, I could focus on cupcakes, or balloons, or ninjas, or pies, or books, or shops, or-" As if it were jealous, the card suddenly fell off her head. "Huh. Guess I stopped."
"You sure that isn't cheating?" Sweetie Belle whispered to Spike.
"To be honest, I didn't even try to remove it through that," he confessed.
"Okay then. My turn! I draw and tap Spatula of the Ages, sacrificing it, in order to summon, *BUM BUM BUMMM*, BFM!" Pinkie placed two cards down, something Spike hadn't ever seen, and looked at the cards she played.
"Let's see here." He looked at the cards and analyzed their text. Apparently this creature required two parts to be summoned. One of the cards had the ridiculous cost of 15 Swamps, but Spatula of the Ages allowed it to be summoned for free. While this was surprising on it's own, another thing on the card sent Spike into a wide-eyed gaze. "Does this actually say that this creature has 99 Power and 99 Toughness?"
"Eeyup!" Pinkie smiled while the players around Spike started to look down in gloom. Spike, already feeling like he was playing a game that was beyond understanding, felt like folding and giving the game up. Just as he was about to out his hand down, a hoof stuck out, stopping him.
"Come on, Spike. You can do it," Scootaloo told him. "We believe in you."
"Yeah. You've been playing this game for a long time. Show this fool that you mean business. No offense, Pinkie," apologized Apple Bloom.
"No problem."
"You know what? I'll continue." The group cheered as they saw him soldier on. "Come on, Pinkie. Is that the end of your turn?"
"Nope! I now attack with my chicken."
"Very well. I accept the damage." Spike went down to 16 life, hoping that his deck would serve him well.
"Okay! I'll just ask my question and that's that." Pinkie started thinking over what she could ask and said, "Do you think that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are super-un not really cute?"
"Um," Spike tried to figure out how to answer that question, deciding to say, "Yes?" Pinkie laughed as he answered this way. He turned his head to the girls, seeing if they knew what was going on. They each shrugged and decided to continue. "Alright. Cards, don't fail me now." Spike drew and saw just what he needed to win, smiling as he did so. "I know just what to do. I play a Swamp and cast two spells, Soul Ransom and Stolen Identity/ With my Crypt Ghast, the mana for the Swamp doubles, allowing me to afford both spells. Using them, I take control of the left portion of BFM while making a copy of the other half. Since you lose one of the sides, the creature becomes sacrificed, and I have my own copy of Big Furry Monster now." Everypony cheered as they saw this combination in action, Pinkie Pie's face in shock at losing her best creature. "Also, that'll end my turn."
"Very well." Pinkie drew and said, "I play and sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon using that, I ask Spike to get me a milkshake from the counter. Just tell Mr. Cake who it's for and he'll give it to you." Seeing how this game had already been going, Spike accepted whatever she said and went over to the counter, picking up the drink. He brought it back to her and she downed it in one giant gulp, letting out a gasp as she finished it. "I'll end my turn, but ask one last question."
"Ask away," Spike said, ready for whatever Pinkie could ask.
"Are you going to win this game?" Pinkie's question confused Spike for a moment. It seemed like a trick. After all, this was Pinkie who we were talking about.After looking her in the eyes, however, he knew just how to respond."
"Yes." The room grew absolutely quiet as his turn began. The customers who didn't even know the game were now paying attention, feeling that they were about to witness something that they would later on realize that they still didn't understand, seeing as they didn't play the game. "I draw and tap to cast Way of the Thief onto BFM, making it unblockable and giving it an additional plus 2 to strength and toughness with my Gates on the field. Now, using my newly gained creature, I attack you directly, dealing a total of 101 points, ending this game!" The onlookers roared in applause as they saw this incredible victory. Spike smiled and handed back Pinkie's card, her expression of joy still there (along with a milk mustache).
"Congrats, Spike! That was so awesome!" Scootaloo told him.
"It really was. Thought that things were gonna go bad quickly." Apple Bloom added.
"Yeah. Surprised that the game actually went fast. Felt like forever." Spike wiped the sweat away from his brow. "To be honest, it was pretty fun to play against a deck than had Unhinged and Unglued types of cards. After all, they're normally impossible to find somebody to play that with, seeing as those cards are technically illegal to play."
"Really? Why is that?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Because they're insane." The four of them laughed as they reveled in their victory. Spike was one step closer to his ultimate duel. He didn't know that the insanity had just began.