//------------------------------//
// Q&A with Mister Torgue 
// Story: Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Ponies 
// by Burlacious Soldier 
//------------------------------//

	"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. This is a quick Q&A with myself, the author, and Mister Torgue, the badass. Now, first-"
"THERE IS A DISTINCT LACK OF COOKIES. YOU PROMISED ME COOKIES!"
"Yes, yes. I'll bring in the cookies in a moment, Mister Torgue. For now, let's answer some questions."
Torgue grumbles a response and Burlacious Soldier nods. Burlacious picks up a stack of cards, shuffles said cards, then clears his throat.
"Okay, the first question is from fakeaccountthatdidn'treallaskaquestion. Wow, that's a mouthful. Anyway, they asked if you would be meeting the Luna. While I personally haven't decided, what do you think, Mister Torgue?"
"Luna is the blue princess, right?! One of the little ponies told me she's loud like me! YOU SHOULD MAKE US MEET SO WE CAN SEE WHO'S LOUDER!"
"Alright... That doesn't really make sense, but I can do that for you. Maybe. On to the next question. Explosionator332 asks if there will be more explosions. I don't understand why someone would ask such a rhetorical question. It's like they don't know who you are, Mister Torgue."
"You're right! THAT QUESTION IS IRRELEVANT. I WILL, HOWEVER, ANSWER IT WITH A QUESTION. EXPLOSIONS?"
The area behind the duo explodes in a massive, fiery explosion. Burlacious smirks at Mister Torgue while Mister Torgue plays his air guitar.
"SQUEEDLYBAMBLYFEEDLYMEEDLYMOWWWWWWW! NEXT QUESTION!"
"Indeed. TheAtomicRainbomb asks, 'what is your favorite character of the Mane Six?'. Considering he hasn't met them yet, I don't know if he does but-"
"Rarity! SHE CARRIED THAT BIGASS ROCK EVERYWHERE IN THAT ONE EPISODE! THAT WAS BADASS!"
"Wait, what? You watched the show? And you chose Rarity? Hell, I figured you'd choose Rainbow Dash. Guess I was wrong."
"I am a man of unexpected scenarios! How else would I end up on a colorful planet full of colorful ponies?!"
"Because I wrote it? Never mind, we're getting off task. The next question is from AgainstCrossoversBrony. Well, that's harsh. He asks, 'Why would you write such an incomprehensibly, thoughtless-'"
"THAT QUESTION HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES. NEXT!"
Burlacious rips the question in half and tosses it behind himself. causing several small explosions.
"Right, that question was s*BLEEP* anyway. I-"
""Whoa! Your shareholders did that to you too?! WE HAVE A SIMILAR PROBLEM!"
"Not shareholders, just the mods. It's understandable though, this story is rated teen. So, we're down to two more questions. Iron Will asks if you will help him with his seminars. He also covered the card in various things like 'You're awesome!' and 'It'd be an honor to meet you!'."
"As fun as that sounds, F*BLEEP* THAT S*BLEEP*! MISTER TORGUE DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR SEMINARS! I HAVE ALL THESE PONIES TO MEET, EXPLOSIONS TO EXPLODE AND COOKIES TO EAT! WHERE'S THE COOKIES!"
"Fine. You've waited patiently."
Burlacious presses a button on the table that magically escaped notice until now. The button buzzes and Lilith walks in the door with a plate of cookies and a frown.
"Make me do this again and I'll kill you."
"Come on. Torgue didn't get any of your cookies since Tina blew him to Equus."
Lilith sighs and walks out of the room after placing the cookies in front of Mister Torgue. Mister Torgue digs into the cookies with gusto.
"Well, I'll just answer this last one myself. It's directed at me anyway. Damn it, there's two questions on this card. How cheeky. Flutterdrunk asks, 'Will there be more Borderlands character ending up on Equus?' and, 'Why are you doing a Q&A this early in the story?' Well, to answer the first question, that depends if Torgue can fix his Echo device. The odds of another character just ending up in Equestria are too low. They'd need a reason to go there. To the second question, I've had a lot of work these past couple days so I thought I'd pump out something funny really quickly so my audience doesn't get bored. The next chapter is on the way, just slightly delayed. Well, with all the questions answered, I guess-"
"WAIT! My shareholders have me legally bound to promote Torgue weaponry at every panel, seminar and Q&A that I attend! BUY TORGUE!"
"Alright, so we're done now? I need to get to writing your next chapter."
Yes! This is Mister Torgue, signing off. TOODLES!"