//------------------------------// // Of Livestock and Pets 3.3: The Myth of Sissypuss // Story: The Pony Dialogues // by Knowledge //------------------------------// Andrea did not like being alone. Her life was defined by being in the action close to those she protected. Unlike yesterday, Machiavelli would not be checking up on her in Equestria. However, Andrea did not have to be alone long as suddenly three ponies rushed her. One was Pinkie Pie, but the other two mares were new to Andrea. One was an alicorn with a purple mane and the other a pegasus with a rainbow mane. Together they acted obnoxiously trying to get her attention. Doing the only rational thing, Andrea sprinted away; however, this failed as she was quickly overcome by both Pinkie Pie and the rainbow one. Knowing it was pointless to keep trying to outrun them, Andrea suddenly stopped, causing the rainbow one to fly passed her. Pinkie Pie had somehow predicted the buffalo stop and stood in a goofy pose. Is she mocking me? "What do you want?" Andrea asked in a moderately threatening tone. She wanted them to leave her alone, but she didn't want diplomacy to fall through immediately. However, the rainbow one was not going to make it easy. A rainbow afterimage shot in sharp angles around the buffalo. It was pointless to just to stand still so she tried to jump out of the rainbow mare's trap. After some time, the purple-maned one had caught up. The buffalo was surprised it took her so long given that she had wings. She activated her horn, and when Andrea was in mid jump, her body suddenly was trapped there and unable to move. Andrea panicked. A telekinetic grip was one of the most horrible acts of violence a magically-inclined species could inflict upon another being. The buffalo felt her limbs feel like they were breaking, and she was beginning to suffocate as her body tried to hyperventilate but couldn't. The unicorn saw this, but the rainbow one talked her out stopping the spell. This much Andrea could tell, and this caused her to panic more. Luckily, Pinkie Pie came to the buffalo's rescue by quickly bopping the unicorn's horn. Andrea fell to the ground with a large thump. As she fell unconscious from the trauma, she took a mental note to forgive the pink pony for falling on her yesterday as the debt had been repaid. ----------------------------------------------------------- When Andrea woke up, she was on a coach with a sling over her left forehoof, her spearleg. Her stuff was on the table in front of the coach. It took her twenty seconds to realize she was in a house; it had been that long. Her whole body hurt, especially her limbs and her ribs. Her limbs had been torn up resisting and her ribs had gotten bruised from the effort of her body to hyperventilate. "Where am I?" the buffalo asked. "Fluttershy's house," said a deep voice on the ground. When Andrea looked down, she saw that white bunny. "You are on my couch by the way, so you're welcome." It astounded Andrea how much this piece of furniture meant to the rodent. Andrea looked around the room more closely. She saw Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, the rainbow one, and the purple one. She also several other non-ponies like birds of paradise, a bear, and an old camus cat. The cat particularly got her attention for he was playing with a ball of string as if he didn't have a care in the world while a bear sat right next to him. Andrea would like to talk about that cat, but right now she had more important things to do. First was her first sense of duty was to Pinkie Pie. "Pink pony, I saw you save me from purple pony's malicious grip," Andrea said raising her right hoof. Pinkie Pie looked confused until Fluttershy translated what Andrea had said in forest. Pinkie grabbed onto Andrea's hoof, clearly expecting a hoofshake. Instead Pinkie was pulled into an embrace and given a kiss on the cheek. The ponies in the room gasped. "Peace, my sister, we are even. Now we can learn and overcome our mistakes." Pinkie Pie quickly returned the embrace. After ten seconds, the embrace formally ended much to the pink pony's dismay. The rainbow said something to the purple one, mimicking the motions of the embrace. "Rainbow Dash is talking about how she remembers that embrace," Angel informed the buffalo. "Oh, does she know the forgiveness ritual of the School of the Two Eternal Siblings as well?" Andrea asked surprised. "Are you referring to Celestia and Luna? If so, I never seen such a ritual from them," the bunny said. Andrea inspected her sling. Her forehoof had a ice pack and placed securely into a sling. The person who had placed her into the sling had done an excellent job. "Rabbit, who cared for me?" Andrea asked the rabbit. "Fluttershy, of course. Though these ponies brought you here." "Then I must thank her." Andrea got up, which caused the ponies to pause in their bickering. She went into her stuff and found her saddlebags. Inside the left pouch, she pulled out an intricate silk shawl with a Mandelbrot tree design on it. Fluttershy shook her head at the gift, saying something unintelligible to Andrea. "Do you think this decorative scarf made by my mother is ugly? I have no other gifts to give as I cannot give you the guitar as that was a gift to me," Andrea said, tilting her head. Fluttershy stammered, and Angel spoke up for her. "Stop forcing your stupid scarf on her. She doesn't need gifts. She only does stuff for ponies pro bono." "I have a debt with this pony. While I am not obligated to pay this debt by any law, it is my decision to repay my debts. I will find a way, even if I have to come back here later." Fluttershy again was placed into a difficult position where she had no out. The rainbow pony got very defensive of her friend and started talking down to Andrea from her position flying above the group. The purple one talked the rainbow one down literally. At this point, the camus cat which had gotten Andrea's attention earlier had completely unrolled his ball of yarn and now needed to roll it back up again. After a brief pause to observe this, Andrea returned her attention back to the ponies. This led to Andrea's third debt. Andrea gazed at the purple-maned pony and she gazed back. The buffalo could see an inquisitive but innocent mind behind that gaze. Whatever the pony saw, it caused her to shrink back a bit. "The people call me Queen of the Forest or Bufgium warrior, but I prefer to be called by my birth name, Andrea. What is your name?" the warrior buffalo asked. Fluttershy and Angel translated for them. "Princess Twilight Sparkle." "Princess Twilight Sparkle, you committed a great act of violence upon me. If you were threatening right now, I would have treated you as an enemy of the State of Nature and killed you. As you are now, we can open diplomacy. It is what I believe my teacher would want me to do." Twilight became more uneasy. "All she did was cast a telekinesis spell on you in order to capture you if you were a changeling." "I don't know what a changeling is, but if you so casually cast telekinesis on me, you must be ignorant. Telekinesis causes its victim to suddenly become paralyzed. Normally, this causes the victim to have a panic attack, especially if the victim is not expecting it. A person can, through training, dull their instincts and remain calm in a magic-users grip, but this is reserved for circus performers. Warriors like me, on the other hoof, have to sharpen those instincts, which make us even more vulnerable to this. Battlemages are easily the most powerful units on the battlefield not only because of how they can kill elite warriors without physically harming them but also because the sheer effect they have on morale on both sides of the battle." As Fluttershy translated this, she became queasy as the implications of what she said became apparent to her. Even Angel, who normally could care less about ponies, was having trouble keeping his breakfast down. Twilight asked something, but Andrea had a good idea of what it was. "I would have died," Andrea finished Twilight's untranslated question. Twilight became stock still as Fluttershy swallowed her fear to explain the horrible truth. The buffalo warrior was not done with Twilight though. "You said you wanted to talk to me. I do not know what customs you have in your country, but where I come from, we do not force people to talk to us, especially with such rough methods. I had a place I needed to go." Andrea looked out the window to gauge the time. "It is midday, and I was already suppose to be there in order to lead and protect those who decide to follow me. They live in a dangerous place, made more dangerous by the frequent attacks by aggravated predators. Some of these people will die because I am not there to protect them, many of these people will panic because I have not shown up for the food-gathering period, all of them will not know about our new compromise with the natives because I am not there to tell them. More important than what you did to me directly is what you have indirectly done to all those people who depend on me." Andrea's eyes actually started to tear up slightly when she said this. She quickly wiped it away, as there was no time for sadness. Twilight was a mess of confusion, rationalizations, and nausea. If Andrea had to guess what Twilight was saying over and over, she would have guess it was variations of 'What have I done?' and 'I couldn't have known.' The pink one was trying to cheer her up without much success. The rainbow one immediately began to address Andrea aggressively. "She wants to know why you told Twilight those horrible lies. That what you said is not funny." "They are not lies." "She says it doesn't matter. You hurt her, so tell her that they are lies. Personally, I think you are a jerk too, sitting on my couch, making all of us depressed," Angel said. Andrea stared blankly at the cyan mare who had yet to introduce herself. Corvo was right. There are really people who would rather die than think seriously about the world and how their actions affect it. Ei Rikr's task to bring philosophy to them is hopeless, for you cannot give sight to eyes that do not want to see. Also, I am sorely tempted to just end their self-imposed blissful ignorance. I guess it doesn't matter though. As Ei Rikr said in zir early days, 'the unconsidered life is equivalent to death.' In other words, it makes no difference if I kill them. While Andrea was having her dark thoughts about the little lives of these ponies, Twilight had calmed down in a time conveniently fast enough to address the buffalo again. "She says that she has to make this right. If you are royalty, then it is her duty as princess to make amends to your nation," Angel translated. Andrea frowned at the word nation. She preferred community to nation. The warrior inspected this pony. Andrea knew that one should never let your feelings prevent you from doing what is for the best. Yes, she had hurt her terribly, but she could use this pony. Twilight was obviously powerful, perhaps, Andrea figured, almost as strong Sophia was. Andrea shifted her weight a bit. “Twilight, I have no option but to trust you. I know Zecora knows of you because she mentioned you as a friend. Ask if she can guide you to a refugee camp, for she found them yesterday, seeking trade her potions in our market. The trek will take approximately three hours at a trot. If and when you get there, you will need someone to translate for you. Zecora might do it for you, but if she can’t, make sure you contact Glaucon or his brother Plato. Both speak your ancient tongue. They will have you take my place in defending the newest refugee camps. It will be difficult as our warriors are spread out thin. To prove your sincerity, take my shawl, they will recognize it immediately.” Andrea tried to remove the shawl from around her neck, but the sling and fractured leg made it impossible alone. Seeing her struggles, Fluttershy helped while continuing to translate. Twilight asked a question. “She wants to know where you live and how you know Zecora.” “We live in the Neverending Forest,” Andrea said, using her head to indicate the Everfree. Again, the ponies gasped. It is as if everything shocks them, Andrea observed. "Zecora guided me and my teacher to your country yesterday." “Who mentioned you had a teacher?” Twilight asked through the rabbit. “Yes, Ei Rikr. It is because of zir that I am alive to protect these zir. Even if ze had not saved me, I would have followed zir.” Angel rubbed his head. “What do you mean by zir?” “It is the pronoun that is used for horseflies and any individual who requests it. Don’t you have horseflies here?” Fluttershy and Angel simultaneously shook their heads. Fluttershy was eager to learn more about horseflies, but Twilight was impatient. “We need to leave soon, but do you have anything else for us to do when we get there?” Andrea nodded. “Give me a piece of paper. This is far too complex to explain.” The yellow pegasus got a piece of paper and a quill for the buffalo. Andrea looked strangely at the outdated writing tool and tried her best to use it. After several mistakes, she had produced a note detailing instructions to the refugee leaders on the next step in reducing hostilities between them and the predatory natives. “Give this to Glaucon. He will know what to do with it.” "What langauge is this?" she asked. "It is Germane, one of the languages of Bufgium, where I come from." Twilight Twilight nodded. Though she wanted to know more, she had to make things right with the State of Nature, so she conjured a crown with a jewel the shape of the violet mark on her rump and started to leave. Before she could, though, her friends all in turned told her something. “What is going on, Angel?” the buffalo asked. “They are each telling Twilight that she will need their help, and they won't take no for an answer. They do this a few times each year, and no matter how many times they do it, they always end up agreeing they should all come. Stupid ponies.” “Foolish ponies,” Andrea replied, half agreeing with the rabbit. The ponies left the room, and before Fluttershy left, she pulled a little rope on the lampshade. This caused the room to go dark except where the light came in from the windows, which wasn’t much because it was midday. Now Andrea was alone with a rabbit that disliked her, a camus cat playing with a ball of string, a bear who was napping, and lots of birds. Andrea knew she should rest and recover but that cat was getting on her nerves. “Hey, cat,” Andrea said. “Hmmm,” the tom said, seeming to just notice Andrea’s existence. “What is your name?” Andrea asked. “Sissypuss,” he replied as he finally rolled up his ball of yarn. Sissypuss smiled broadly as all his hard work getting the ball of yarn rolled up was undone by a series of pokes and prods. “Why are you doing that? I find it hard to believe a camus would want to do something so repetitive as this. Your breed is well-known for its love of mediterranean landscapes and sports, not this.” “I was punished.” Andrea frowned. “By the ponies? What for?” “Yes, but you will not understand unless you hear my story. “Twelve years ago, I lived in Algebra, the country of mathematics. I was a famous lawyer there, but a war forced me to flee with all my family besides my mother, who would not leave the land where her husband, my father, died. I went to Prance, an Equestrian commonwealth for asylum. According to Equestrian custom, my family was divided among ponies who wanted camus for pets.” “What are pets?” Andrea inquired, not liking this story one bit. “Pets are like servants but instead of work all we do is play the games ponies want us to play like me and this ball of string. Now not all pets obey their owners, but some owners are extremely tolerant of that behavior.” “So why don’t you just not obey why none of these ponies are here? I cannot imagine that you are happy playing with that ball of string for all eternity.” Sissypuss finished unwinding his yarn and began to wind it up again before answering Andrea’s question. “That brings me to the next part of my story. I sent in a request to the immigration office once my whole family had been distributed among ponykind. I requested that we all get to be together for one day. The ponies, you see, value family, especially the earth ponies, who work the local immigration offices, so with just a little legal tomfoolery, they granted my request. So I got my one day with my family. “But I wasn’t satisfied with only one day. I stayed with my family for a whole week. When the ponies realized that I was withholding ponies their pets and breaking the agreement I had made with the government, I was forcibly sent to Fluttershy’s cottage to be reformed. My punishment is to play with ball of yarn everyday until I get adopted or die trying.” Andrea’s frown deepened. “That is despicable of ponies, but that still doesn’t explain why you keep winding and unwinding that yarn.” “We all have our ball of yarn that we are winding up just to lose it in the end. Is it so hard to imagine that I can be happy?” was all the camus said before he became so engrossed with the ball of yarn that further communication was impossible. The warrior was dumbfounded by what the camus said. It made her rethink what was the life worth-living and what counted as pointless. Before falling asleep, she had one comforting thought. If all my effort to save lives in this cruel world fails, could I be happy like this cat. Probably not, but I could at least try to be a little happier while I give it my all.