Backstage.....
The Green Screen Room.....
fred is standing side by side with world-famous Hollywood director, M. Night Shamalamadingdong. Mr. Night glances through his top-of-the-line Nikon Cool Pix camera, studying the contents before him.
"So....what do you want us to do again?" Asks a perplexed Rainbow Dash.
"A New Show is on TELEVISION now, ladies," fred explains. "And yet, we have no intro to show for it! Until now, that is...."
"What in tarnation do we have ta do with it, then?" Applejack wonders.
"You're both going to be the STARS," fred replies with vigor.
Rainbow Dash squees. "Awww, seriously?! AWESOME!" She lightly flaps in the air with excitement. "What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO?"
fred points over to the costume rack. "We're going to need you girls to dress up in baby dinosaur costumes....."
Rainbow Dash's wings snap against her sides, as she falls flank first onto the floor.
"Hmmmm....surprising...." Mr. Night remarks. "I'd figured little cute ponies would want to dress up as little cute dinosaurs..."
Rainbow Dash zooms into Mr. Night's face, giving him the stink-eye. "Hey! We're not CUTE, buddy! We're two of the roughest and toughest mares in Equestria!"
Manly tears ooze down fred's face.
"Well, it's not just THAT," Applejack interrupts. "Ah don't mind dressin' up whenever ah have ta," she chuckles. "Ah'm here to support fred anytime he needs it...."
"So am I!" Dash responds. "But THIS is RIDICULOUS!"
Applejack puts a hoof up towards Rainbow Dash. "Calm down there, Missy," she then turns back to fred. "Ya see, these outfits are....well.....a bit too SMALL, even for us, don't ya think?"
fred, upon closer inspection, nods his head. "It's true. Alright, then....guess it's time to turn you girls into fillies...."
Rainbow Dash laughs one single time. "No way! How do you even expect to do that-"
fred gestures to Mr. Night, and takes a few steps back.
Mr. Night sets his Nikon down, and takes a deep breath.
"Time to get.....SHAMALIZED," he announces, as he purses his hands together, and thrusts them forward, with the left hand leaning on top of the right hand, and the right hand facing outwards towards the two mares.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack gulp, as they are engulfed by white light. Mr. Night's eyes are encased with a furious white tint. fred can hardly watch.
Seconds later, Mr. Night falls to the floor, exhausted.
"Did.....did it work?" fred asks.
"Of COURSE it did!" Mr. Night proclaims, as he was already adjusting the waistline of the of Dash's dinosaur costume around her.
fred's eyes twinkle. "So......kawaii...."
Rainbow Dash and Applejack wake up, just as Mr. Night puts the finishing touches on their costumes.
"Awww crap," Rainbow silently curses in her filly-altered voice. "It worked...." she frowns.
"This don't make a lick'a sense, though," Applejack adds. "Why'd y'all pick US to be in A New Show's intro?"
"Because combined, you've both seen Jurassic Park more than any other two ponies," fred bluntly says.
Applejack has to do a double take of life.
Rainbow sighs. "Just go with it, Applejack.....after all....it IS fred...."
fred chews on a raspberry turnover absent-mindedly.
Applejack licks her lips. "Alright, fine...." she suddenly smirks evilly. "We'll dance around for ya in your intro like GOOD little fillies, if y'all are willin' ta give me and Rainbow here the rest of the Raspberry turnovers...."
Rainbow Dash's eyes bulge, and she snickers as she rubs her little filly hooves together. "Sounds fair to me!"
fred stops eating, and takes a look at his own turnover. There is but one bite left. "B-but.....I've got the last one...."
"Then ya better get some more made...." Applejack warns. "Or else y'all's intro will never make it to the airwaves...."
"Dammit!" fred yells. He grabs his phone, and dials a number at will. "Catering....we need 200 raspberry turnovers.....HURRY MAN MY BALLS ARE BEING SCRAPED FROM MY BODY HERE!" There is a slight pause. "GAAHHH!!!!!!" He throws his phone to the side, and suddenly acts calm and collected. "No need to worry, girls....they're being made right now...."
Rainbow and Applejack share a look, which ends in both shrugging.
"Guess I can't complain, then," Dash says. "You want cute? You want impromptu dancing? You want cute impromptu dancing? Then me and Applejack are your mare-errr...fillies! You just start filming....we know what to do!"
fred signals to Mr. Night. "You heard them! They're stars in the making, Mr. Night!"
Steve Bazing pops up in front of the camera, with a clapboard. "A New Show Intro with Impromptu Filly-Dino Dancing.....take 1....."
"ACTION!" Announces Mr. Night, as he fumbles around on his Nikon. "Oop-let me just find the play button-aaannddd....crap....that's to take a picture! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" He screams. "THIS IS SO ADVANCED!!!!!!! I CAN HARDLY TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!" Without another second, everything is set. "Alright, now......ACTION!"
Mr. Night shot for a grand total of 56 seconds. After filming had ceased, he dropped his Nikon, busting the lens.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack literally JUMPED out of their outfits, and TOSSED them at fred. They landed across his face.
The outfits were soaked with fred's manly tears within seconds.
"So.....damn....KAWWWWWAAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Steve Bazing jumped into a kiddy pool filled with Vegemite.
Rainbow Dash flipped her mane. "And 1 take, is all you'll need!"
Mr. Night was admiring the brand new crack in his Nikon, not even paying attention to the fillies. "Eh....I've seen better."
fred began to choke Mr. Night with the tear-soaked dinosaur costumes.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?!??!" He screeched. "THAT WAS SO ADORABLE!!!!!!! WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?!?!?! YOU DIRECTED THE LAST AIR BENDER!!!!!!! WHAT A TWIST! WHAT A TWIST! WHAT A TWIST! WHAT A TWIST!"
fred let Mr. Night go, panting. He threw the costumes down, just as a giant cart of raspberry turnovers came rolling onto the set.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash ran up to the cart, wagging their tales with glee.
"Y-yes, girls..." fred said. "They're here, and they're yours.....thanks for being so patient, helpful, and......PERFECT....."
Rainbow Dash jumped on the top of the cart, while Applejack gave it a big push, before jumping onto the bottom. The turned back and waved at fred.
"Thanks, fred!" Said Rainbow Dash.
"If y'all need any more help, just show us the raspberry turnovers, and we'll be there lickity-split!" Applejack promised.
The two fillies were soon out of sight, as they escaped with only their adorable filly laughter being heard.
fred was still panting, as a stallion with a green coat, a dirty-blonde mane, and a cutie mark of a yellow feather that was balanced on the tip of a blue crescent moon BARRELS onto the set. This stallion was panting, along with fred.
"M-mr. fred.....d-did I miss the audition?" The stallion asks.
fred turns around to face the stallion, and is surprised with who he sees. "Sw-....Sweet Tale?"
Sweet Tale, greatodyer's OC, smiles, and takes a bow. "That'd be me, sir....did I miss the audition?" He repeats.
"What audition?"
"I saw a sign outside the building that said that you needed help with A New Show's intro, and that whoever volunteered would be paid in....RASPBERRY....TURNOVVVEERRRSSSS..." Sweet Tale begins to drool, as his irises spin.
fred rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Yeeeaaahhh....sorry Sweet Tale....we just wrapped up recording, and....well....we're....kind of out of raspberry turnovers because of it...."
Sweet Tale's left eye begins to twitch, as he glares right in fred's face. "YOU'RE DEAD TO ME....." he announces, before uppercutting him in the abdomen, and walking off pissed.
Meanwhile, on the ground next to fred, it is revealed that M. Night Shamalamadingdong is really a ROBOT. The tears of fred caused his main-frame to short circuit, so it leaves the robot director to repeat "What a twist" on loop.
A few hours before the show....
Jason's locker room.....
fred sighs, before he sets his phone down next to him in frustration. "Well, boys, looks like Matilda isn't going to be on the show tonight....."
"What?" Geo questions. "Why not? Is she too scared?"
fred nods. "Well, that wasn't really HINTED at, but, we can make that assumption right away. She claimed that she "doesn't have time for all the dweebs on this show", but I think we ALL know that she's scared to DEATH of coming onto the show."
"The fans will eat her ALIVE," Jason added.
"I was going to ask her why she's such a bitch, too," Geo grumbles. "We HAVE to get her on the show ONE DAY. She must courageously face the fans like she SO courageously makes Toby's life HELL."
"I'll think of something," fred says. "It's definitely best for HER that she didn't show up, though. But guys, we need to talk about what happened at the end of last week's show...."
"What? You mean Sonik dying?" Geo asks.
"Sonik died?" fred replies with a raised eyebrow.
"But his body was never found," Jason added eerily. "Or....did you mean midnight becoming a wolf?"
"Damn....a lot of weird things happen on this show, huh?" fred points out.
"Naaaaahhhhhhhhhhh, 'course not!" Geo sarcastically replies.
"THIS IS NO TIME TO BE SNOOTY, GEO!" fred yells. "Look, Ellington has made his presence CRYSTAL CLEAR....he'll be here in 3 weeks. Now, before, I didn't pay attention to a WORD he was saying...but, I realize now.....he means BUSINESS, and we should ALL take him seriously. He wants to END A New Show....we CAN'T let that happen, and we CAN'T let him get to ANY of our fans, or ANY of our guests."
"What do you suggest?" Jason asks.
"We need ROUND-THE-CLOCK security," fred suggests. "A LOT is on the line here, boys, and we need to make sure we are running a SMOOTH operation here...."
"And when that freak gets here?" Geo asks.
fred turns away from Geo and Jason, but still addresses the question. "I must be honest with you guys.....I fear for the future of this broadcast....I do not know what will happen when Ellington debuts. He has already proven he is QUITE unpredictable....I am not sure how we will combat him."
"Let's not forget his "Family"," Geo adds. "We have no idea who it could be, and we don't know what they are capable of...."
"That's why we must make EXTRA precautions," fred says. "If ANYTHING happens to one of A New Home's fans, the blood, is on OUR hands....mostly MINE. But, we're a TEAM, guys.....I know Ellington is after ME, for some obscene reasons......but.....I CAN'T do this alone.....I-....I wish I could....b-but I just...."
"Hey...." fred is stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He turns around to meet Geo. "Don't worry, fred....we'll be there for you."
Jason now places HIS hand on fred's other shoulder. "That's right! If Ellington and his "Family" want to get to YOU....if they want to DESTROY A New Show....they're going to have to go through ALL OF US.....TOGETHER."
fred sighs happily, and smiles. "Thanks, guys.....I don't know how we're going to do it, but TOGETHER....we're an unstoppable team....and we don't need any voodoo to get on the same page!"
"Hey everybodyyyyyy....welcome to A New Shooooww...." fred declares unenthusiastically, leaning against the arm-rest of his sectional, his left hand cradling his entire chin.
"What's the matter, fred?" Jason sincerely asks.
fred sighs. "Every week.....we do the SAME tired shtick...."welcome to the show", blah blah blah...."we have guests", blah blah blah...."ask them questions", blah blah blah...."but you wont", blah blah blah...."because none of you like interacting with characters WHO YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO ASK A QUESTION TO AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!" fred seethes with rage, as everybody else in the arena simply blinks in response.
fred goes back to his former bored position. "Blah blah blaaahhh......"it's A New Shoooowww......everything is weeeeiiirrddddddd.......blaahhhhhh.......ahhhhhh I'M BORED!"
"The crowd has come to expect this certain formula, you know," Geo points out. "We can't just "switch things up" out of nowhere. It's your own fault for giving the show a reputation that it needs to uphold."
"I just wish everything wasn't so....repetitive....." fred says. "I wish someone would just.....I don't know...DIE on the show....."
midnight, now know as Crimson Death the wolf, glares at fred. Everybody else also notices the empty seat, which belonged to Sonik...."
"Oh...." fred hangs his head. Everyone else does in a totally respectable moment of silence.
"Well, as much as it may be REPETITIVE," Jason said. "These folks came for a show, and they're going to get it!" The crowd cheers. "Unfortunately, one of our guests, Matilda, couldn't make it tonight....."
The crowd immediately boos.
"SHE'S A COWARDLY BITCH!" Roars Geo angrily.
"Don't worry," fred attempts to calm everyone down. "We WILL get her on the show one of these days....we PROMISE. Besides, with the way this show runs, some random person will probably just come out here and take her spot-"
fred is interrupted by a mysterious whirring. Off to the side of the stage, the carpet slides over, revealing a dark whole.
Moments later, an industrial sized fan begins to rise out from the once carpeted spot. Instead of air, smoke is grazing out of the fan and covers the surrounding area. The audience leans out of their seat a bit, trying to get a closer look at what is going on.
fred already has his face in his hands, as he realizes whatever is about to happen...is going to suck.
The lights go out, except for multiple spotlights along the floor that flicker and wave as they move back and forth.
This music accompanies the scene:
As the intro begins, we get a closeup of a pair of furry white boots, with which white tassels adorn the sides of. These feet start to move down to the edge of the stage. The feet turn around, and walk to the front of the entrance again.
As the intro ends, the camera gives us a full view of the person responsible for such a glorious entrance. The man flips off his hoody, quickly rips off his glasses, just in time for the camera to zoom in to his face, which is now comprised of a duck-face.
He is gorgeous, to say the least. He is wearing an electric blue jacket, without a t-shirt, to show off his perfectly sculpted abs, and he has bleach-blonde hair which is tied back into a ponytail. He also looks very familiar to everybody else in attendance.
He appears to be taking selfies. A LOT of them. With every few steps he takes, he flashes another ridiculous yet god-like pose, and snaps a photo of himself. He lies down on the edge of the stage, with his front-side facing the crowd, puts his thumb and index finger to his chin, and takes another picture.
He points said index finger and thumb at the crowd in a gun-like motion, scrunches his right cheek-bone to where his tongue clicks, and winks, all at the same time. He sits up, and walks over to the three co-hosts, who have differing reactions.
Geo seems reluctant, Jason seems shocked, and fred seems depressed as hell.
The man chooses not sit down on ANY sectional, however, but opts to stand behind them. He combs his hair as fred cannot believe this crap has ALREADY occurred less than 10 minutes into the show.
"Sonik?" fred groans. "Oh what in the good go-"
fred is interrupted as Sonik puts an index finger to his lip. He quickly takes it off, pulls out some sanitizer, and sanitizes that one lone finger.
"
Unfortunately.....it didn't turn out this way....
fred dips his quill into the ink well next to him, and continues to scrap at the scroll furiously.
THAT would've been a normal day at A New Show, if you could believe it or not, your highness....but, no.....that would've been how I would WANT it to play out. Me acting my usual irked self, with my friend, Sonik....rising from the glittery ashes, to reimburse as a sass-filled deviant.
But, like I said....these are only my thoughts....my hopes....but, where does hope truly get you?
Well, today...it got me into Equestria....
Enough stalling, though....let me get to the point...
Here is how that fateful day TRULY played out....
The A New Show audience claps as the second brand-spankin' new intro for A New Show ends.
"Thank you Alex for creating that intro SPECIFICALLY for the show!" Announced Jason, as he, the other co-hosts, and the audience stand up in support of Alex. They clap some more, and their are EVEN a few whistles thrown in their to make Alex blush even more than he was before. He stands up, and takes a bow.
After the audience applause dies down, the 23.8% of the time cheery voice of fred2266 rings through the ears of the fans.
"WwwwwELCOME TO A NEW SHOW EVERYBODY!" There are more deafening cheers, as it seems this A New Show is going to be more...sanguine than usual. "We've got one HELL of a show for you tonight! Interviews with The Cutie Mark Crusaders, the Element of Loyalty Rainbow Dash, and one of the most DESPISED antagonists in the series.....Matilda." There are many boo's, but the audience still seems excited to find out how Toby's third-grade bully's mind works.
Boos and excitement turn into complete silence and fear in a moment's notice.
The all-too well-known creaking of a rocking-chairalerts the arena, and demands complete and utter attention.
It gets it.
A lantern is lit, as we see the menacing mug of Ellington. He looks sanguine, in the creepy way only he can pull off.
"Show is over, close the story book.....there will be no encore....and all the random hands that I have shook.....well......they're reaching for the door....." Ellington's melancholic chant sends icy chills down everyone in attendance's vertebrates. "See.....this is why this little fairy-tale was doomed from the very beginning.....WEEK AFTER WEEK! I ALLOW YOU PEOPLE MY TIME! I GIVE YOU ADVICE ONLY A DYING MOTHER WOULD GIVE HER UNDERLING AS SHE IS ROTTING AWAY ON HER DEATH-BED! I WARN YOU! I HECKLE YOU! I REMIND YOU OF THE INEVITABLE! And what do you do....?" He whispers. "YOU BLOW ME OFF! YOU FORGET ABOUT ME! YOU DISPERSE MY CLAIMS! YOU DIMINISH MY CRUEL AND ABRASIVE VERBATIM!" He cackles for a short time. "It's like you think I wont be back-BUT I ALWAYS COME BACK! DON'T I, MORTALS? YOU THINK I FORGET MY OWN DESTINY? YOU THINK I'LL LET YOU LIVE YOURS? I TOLD YOU FROM DAY ONE....DAY......one......
You sealed your fate.....when you decided to rewrite the saga.......THIS IS ALL ON YOU, FRED2266! THESE PEOPLE FLOCK TO YOU. THEY BELIEVE IN YOU. THEY ADORE A FALSE IDOL. YOU WASTE THEIR TIME, AND IN TURN....you've wasted mine.....
I warned you to turn back while you were ahead....but you just couldn't CEASE, could you? You just had to pick and pick and pick and pick and pick AND PICK! With every word you wrote, I began to loathe the once IRON-CLAD series known as A New Home more and MORE......
You created this abomination of A New Home to become more "interactive with fans"...exactly how long did you think I'd let this go on? How LOOOONNGGGG did you think I would allow you to CARVE the fabric of A New Home into your own personal Ethiopia? Child, your Ethiopia....is about to become your HELL......
And you "fans", if I can even call you that.....you ate this worm's words UP....he lead you into a false form of security, and someHOW, he got you to show up to A New Show week after WEEK, in hopes you would get something out of it....
All you got....was an abundant amount of FEEBLE entertainment that would pull at the strands of your very being, until there was nothing left but a THREAD of the fans you once were! I'm not that upset with young Frederick.....I knew from day ONE that he would be the venom that would be injected into the fanfiction series I once ADORED.....but YOU expendables, were the CATALYSTS.....you NEVER even took to heart the words this fraud uttered......you chose to follow him, when you should have been following ME! YOU SHEEP! Week after week, I tried.....ohhhhh I TRULY tried to talk you all out of it, before it was too late.....I just never realized you all were so WEAK. Perhaps I should've tried to get through to you sooner.....
Now, you will PAY for your support of this CESSPOOL, and you will PAY for being the debris at the bottom of it, sticking and sucking at the pit of obscurity, trying to never lose the sweet nectar that met your mouth as you latched onto the nipple of acceptance!
I WOULD NEVER ACCEPT YOU AS MY CHILDREN! My nipple is for those that know their place, and you all should've known your place a LOOONNNGGG time ago.....AND IT'S TOO LATE TO FIND IT! YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH WARNINGS, AND YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH TIME TO PREPARE! I could've LOVED you, and nurtured you as my own.....but now, I have no REMORSE, because I am NOT YOUR FATHER! I WILL NOT SHED A TEAR AT YOUR LOSS, AND YOU WILL HAVE NO TIME TO SHED YA OWN! You have destroyed the very ESSENCE of A New Home.....and thus, I proclaim it my DUTY.....to immerse you......in YOUR new home.......the cane, my child......"
The camera pans down to a figure that appears to be wearing the mask....of a sheep. The faint light of the lantern makes the sight more creepy.
"See, my child......see what beseeches our very ESSENCE!" Ellington orders. The figure is revealed to have a pair of...aquamarine hooves.
And when the pony takes off the eerie mask, we can make out the pony as....Lyra.
"I see it, father.....and it is everything you warned us of......it makes me sick, father...." Lyra absentmindedly says.
Ellington kneels down, and kisses Lyra on the top of her forehead. "Patience, my child.....daddy will make the monsters go away....he just needs his cane first...."
Lyra viciously smirks. "Dreadful has it, father...." Lyra announces.
Ellington chuckles. "Ah, of course he does....." he turns to his left, his chair squeaking loudly. Ellington pats a downed head on the floor. "Come, young Dreadful.....daddy needs his cane...."
The head looks up, and it is revealed....as Cody. With a beard just as long as Ellington's. Without a second thought, he hands the cane over to Ellington.
"Thank you, my son...." Ellington proceeds with a kiss to the top of Cody's forehead, as well. He gets back into a comfortable position. "Look at their faces, children.....they're not so scary now, are they?"
"They look confused....and hopeless...." says Cody.
"Mhmhmmha....they sure do," replies Ellington. "Confusion is oh SOOOO delicious.....we're sorry to spoil the surprise for you folks.....my children WERE going to wait until midnight and Lightning Dust's wedding, to emerge with their father.....but if there's ONE thing the Ellington family SPECIALIZES in....it's the element....of SURPRISE......
You thought these were your FRIENDS? YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD A CONNECTION? YOU PISSED ALL THAT AWAY, WHEN YOU DENIED THEM THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW THE WORLD THEIR LOVE! You SPIT in the face of love, Frederick!!!!! You give some mutt, and his mindless BITCH, Lightning Dust such an opportunity, but DENY MY CHILDREN it?! THAT'S when you all lost your "friends".....they came to me that SAME night, because I'm NOT hard to find.....you just have to walk in any direction to the Edge of ImmortalityHAHaaaa.....now, though, for your IGNORANCE, and your THOUGHTLESSNESS....you will NEVER get the opportunity to marry Lightning Dust, midnight! YOU WONT EVEN SEE HER AGAIN! Ha....not that she'll mind, I bet.....unlike you two ANIMALS, my children's love is REAL, and I WILL give them the opportunity to intertwine their beings as one.....and NONE OF Y'ALL WILL GET TO SEE IT! Only me, and Sister Abigail are invited....hahaha.....
Unlike YOU, they KNEW this ship was sinking, and they REALIZED, that only I, Ellington, could show them the light......how is the light, my children?"
"I'll never be scared again, father," Lyra declares.
"The light follows me everywhere," says Dreadful.
"Sister Abigail watches over them now," continues Ellington. "Sister Abigail watches over ALL OF THE ELLINGTON FAMILY...." he sighs. "It's a shame you all wont ever get the chance to talk to her....she is SUCH a sweet gal.....caring towards our feelings...heheh....SHE TELLS STORIES! HEHEHEHEH! She makes us laugh, she makes us cry, but most of all, she makes us BREATH....she led us with love, but she told us, that the fires..... well they were our friends, too....
"THE WORLD IS AN EVIL PLACE", she said....and we agreed.....and I was there....I WAS THERE WHEN SHE TOOK HER FINAL BREATH!" Ellington hunches over his chair in intense remembrance. "She pulled me in close....and she said "you're the one", she said "THEY CHOSE YOU!"....and long before you were ever in existence....and I understood what she meant...."
Ellington leans in closer. "Her touch....could save the world....but her kiss.....burns it to the ground.........I love you.....Sister Abigail.....ahehehehehehehe...."
"We love you, Sister Abigail...." Dreadful and Lyra repeat, looking up above them in concentration with their eyes closed.
Ellington gasps. "She's awoken...." Lyra and Dreadful's eyes shoot open, as they grin wickedly.
"Sister Abigail...." they whisper simultaneously.
"Yes, yes! HELLO, Abby......" Ellington clasps his hands. "We've been waiting for you.....we need your help....the monsters.....they're here.....the monsters.....they scare us, Abby.....we want them gone......please, Abby....send the monsters away......away to their new home.....let the monsters never come back, Abby! We only have peace when you're around, Abby! That's how mean and nasty the monsters are! They don't want to feel your touch, they don't want to join our cozy little family, they don't want to hear your stories......I know......I try every time I see them, Abby.....they only ignore me......we wish that they PAY for not wanting to be an Ellington....we wish that they PAY for continuously scaring us with their ferocious habits! They just wont stay away, Abby! W-...we don't feel comfortable around them anymore! They don't say anything, they only STARE.....like some misguided sheep.....but they wont flock to us....they're.....they're ABOVE us......
Pl-please, Abby.....make them go away! We check our closets every night, and they're just standing there.....watching us......until the monsters go away, we can't be the family we've always wanted to be....the family that....YOU'VE always wanted us to be....."
There is a pause, until Ellington starts cackling in excitement. "Oh, THANK YOU, Sister Abigail! Thank you for taking the monsters away! We'll be able to rest easy now.....yes, just let us say our bitter goodbyes......we love you, Sister Abigail...."
"We love you, Sister Abigail....." Lyra and Dreadful repeat with small smiles.
Ellington's head slowly and methodically lowers back down, until he is eye level with the camera. He showers it with scolds. "DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE!??!?! You've made Sister Abigail ANGRY! That's the LAST thing you want to do! She will do WHATEVER it takes to protect her CHILDREN! Because SHE cares! You all had the chance.....you all had chance after CHANCE to be HER OWN child, but instead, you IGNORED my requests, you IGNORED HER requests! You went home and slept in the comfort of your fabricated mattresses, probably all thinking the SAME THING: "Ohoho! That Ellington! What a FUN guy he is!"- DO YOU THINK I'M A JOKE?! HAVE YOU NOT BEEN TAKING ME SERIOUSLY THIS WHOLE. DAMN. TIIIIME?! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE!
Well now....your LAUGHTER, will be your DOOOOWWWWWWNNNNFAAAAAALLLLLLL! It's too late to redeem yourselves! I GAVE YOU TIME, and you BRUSHED ELLINGTON OFF! Now you will have to live with this for the rest of your PATHETIC LIVES! The Edge of Immortality has been BLOCKED OFF! IF YOU TRESPASS, YOU WILL SUFFER A MUCH CRUELER FATE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAAAAAAAGGIIINNEEEEEE!"
Ellington huffs and puffs, as he stands up from his rocker. "Say goodbye to the monsters, children....." Ellington looks to his sides, and notices neither Lyra or Dreadful are there. "Children?" He looks behind them, and notices them huddled up in a corner, holding onto each other.
"M-m-make them go away already, daddy!" Pleads Lyra.
"Their fear is obviously a mask!" Cries Dreadful. "I do not trust them!"
Ellington turns back to the camera, wall-eyed.
"YOU DARE INTIMIDATE MY CHILDREN?!" Ellington shouts. "HAVE YE NO SOUL?! WHAT KIND OF MINDLESS MONSTERS ARE YOU!? Sister Abigail WARNED us about you!" Ellington gets on his knees, putting his hands on the top of Twilicane, and uses that as his leverage.
"I had mercy.....it was but a small dose, but it was mercy, regardless......when you scare my children....I lose all mercy for you. Creatures like you, those that feed off of another's past success....like you, Frederick....those that ALLOW oneself to nurse such success, like you, Jason....and those of you that have no problem being used as a pawn in their sick game....which would be all the rest of the A New Show fans....you get no mercy from Ellington...."
Ellington stands back up, and begins to pace around in a small circle with his cane. "When you are all gone, we will BURN down A New Show.....with the fires that Sister Abigail taught us...." he chuckles. "Were our FRIENDS......and as the foundation turns to sheer rubbish, we will FEAST on your charred souls....."
By this point in time, Dreadful and Lyra have joined the sides of their "father", as they all share a devious chuckle.
"Follow......the BUZZARDS...." They all three state, as Ellington lowers his head so that we can't see his eyes under his fedora. He forcefully grabs his cane, raises it high above his head, and then SLAMS the bottom of it against the floor.
There was no warning. No swirly vortex that turned midnight into a wolf, or Sonik into a teenage girl. No anticipation. No time to comprehend the situation. Just....nothing. A cane hits the floor, and shit hits the fan.
ANOTHER DIMENSION OVER.....
In classic cliche fashion, fred's eyes flutter open, but he can't quite keep them open long enough.
OH WAIT NEVERMIND THEY'RE OPEN AGAIN.
NO.
STOP CLOSING THEM.
FUQYUFUQYUFUQYUFUQYUFUQYUFUQYU KEEP THEM OPEN.
Ah! There you go. fred opens his eyes, and actually keeps them open....
However....
"What the?" fred says, though in muffled form. "Must darkness follow me everywhere I turn?! I've only read, like.....67 foalcon fics......GIVE ME A BREAK."
fred is able to fight his way through the darkness, and realizes that what was blocking his vision, was the dark-as-sin black spandex pants...of Sonik?
"What the hell?" fred mutters. "Looks like every member of the rock-band 'White-snake' was conjoined at the hip.....oh yeah....Sonik's alive, too...."
fred doesn't need to look around much more to notice that everybody else from A New Show is alive, as well.
He sighs with relief. "Well, at least I can have faith in knowing that I can annoy the hell out of all of these dolts....now, to only figure out where we are.....knowing Ellington, he probably sent us to Gilbert Gottfried's mind....I heard a rumor it was this spacious, and.....colorful...."
fred puts his thinking face on, which doesn't happen often. "Hmmmm.....COOOOLLOOORRFFFUUULLLLLL.......what does this bring to mind? The bleeding anus of a smurf? A loving mother's touch of her child's urethra? L. Wolf's fanfiction? Pffttt...DEFINITELY NOT-WAIT!" fred looks up to the sky. "THERE'S CLOUDCHASER!" He gasps. "Awwww.....she's looking right at me!" fred waves. "HI, CLOUDCHASEEEERRRRRR! YOU DUMB WHORE!"
Cloudchaser's face turns into a grimace, as she flees the scene.
"DAMMIT!" fred shouts. "Why is she even HERE? She's never been in ANY A New Home chapter....therefore, we deny her access to A New Show EVERY TIME. Not Flitter, though.....Flitter's less of an ass. Cloudchaser's mane looks dumb, too. Okay so I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE-oh...."
Standing in front of fred, is a BIG AS BIG BIG BIG thing BIG that says "WELCOME TO PONYVILLE. POPULATION: PONE."
fred blinks. "Hm....sexy."
------------------------------------------
fred drops the quill, and shakes his hand in pain.
"Jeez....THIS is why I prefer keyboards....." fred complains.
Hold on, princess....I'm famished, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WRITING IS. I'm taking a break.....
6 weeks later.....
'Kay back. Man, you'd think you would stop waiting on my procrastinating ass and fly that fluffy flank on over here to Ponyville. Anyway, here's how the REST of it went.....
-------TO BE CONTINUED---------
