Sugar Cube Corner was just as disgustingly pink and cutesy as River feared. She wondered who these ponies thought they were trying to impress with their absurdly cheerful décor. Squinting slightly at the bright colors, River cantered back through the store with her companions. Behind the counter stood a mare, and the only word River could think of to describe her was "matronly."
"Howdy Mrs. Cake," said Applejack, "this here is our new friend River, so I think we oughta give her the Sugar Cube Corner special." She winked at the older pony, who nodded excitedly and dashed through the bakery doors. Pinkie Pie bounded after her, leaving the shop unmanned.
River was led to a table and forced to try and converse with her newfound companions. They all wanted to know where she was from, what it was like there, and why she was in Ponyville. River decided making up a story would go over better than feigning amnesia. The last thing she wanted was more attention.
"It's a little town north of here; you probably don't know it…" She reached up to play with her hair, a nervous habit, but sadly hooves weren't exactly great for stroking hair. Twilight watched her curiously, head cocked to the side as if she was studying River. If that pony doesn't stop watching me like a hawk, I'm going to have to… do something drastic. River's mind seemed to slip away from any violent ideas, and she furrowed her brow. Odd. It was almost as if she was unable to think such things.
"Is it Manehattan?" Asked Twilight, still surveying River.
"No, about a mile outside," River said, hoping that this was acceptable. Twilight still looked suspicious, but she seemed satisfied with the answer. River engaged Applejack in a conversation about her apple orchard simply to avoid Twilight's gaze. She hardly noticed when the ground beneath her feet started shaking.
A huge crowd of horses burst into the shop, led by a bouncing Pinkie Pie. River could hardly handle the shock as on a count of three, every pony shouted "Welcome to Ponyville!" A burst of streamers appeared from nowhere. She glanced at Twilight, who looked as surprised and mortified as River. Fluttershy had pressed herself against the far wall, terror on her face. Applejack laughed happily, obviously in on it.
Pinkie Pie leaped over to the group, a blue-gray pegasus in tow. "Hey River, I know you said that you wanted to meet Ditzy Doo, and so I brought her over, and I just know that you guys will be the best of friends!"
River surveyed the pegasus. Her yellow eyes pointed two different ways, her blonde mane was boring and straight, and she had bubbles as her cutie mark. There was certainly nothing to be concerned about, River thought.
"That wasn't very nice," said a small voice. River whipped around, scanning for the speaker. Everyone around her seemed preoccupied. She raised an eyebrow, but returned her attention to Ditzy.
"So I hear that you know the Doctor." River said, trying her very best not to let her excitement get a hold of her.
"Yeah, he's staying with me while he visits Ponyville." Ditzy's voice was surprisingly melodic; it didn't seem to match her exterior.
River decided it was time to figure out just how much this pony knew. Trying her best not to make it sound like a challenge, River asked: "Where is he visiting from, then?"
"Gallopfrey," said a strong male voice from River's right. She whipped around, and her heart skipped a beat. The colt who had spoken had his eyes closed, happily munching a piece of cake, but River knew that when they opened, they'd be as ancient and blue as the sea of Autrio. His brown mane was in a state of disarray, a style that made River wish once again that she had fingers, if only to muss it up some more. On his flank was an hourglass, an oddly appropriate mark.
Before River managed to compose herself, the Doctor opened his eyes. "I'm from…" he trailed off as he realized what he was seeing. His eyes went from her mane to her eyes, and finally to her own mark. She saw the recognition in his eyes as they lit up. Now it was his turn to be speechless.
"Hello sweetie."
Time seemed to stand still, but when it started again, River felt a jolt, her Time-Lord senses telling her that something big had been set in motion. But honestly, she couldn't worry about that, what with the Doctor standing in front of her in a strange new body on a strange new planet in a strange new universe.
He quickly closed the last few feet between them, wrapping his forelegs around her in a type of hug. He pushed his forehead against his own, and stared deep into her eyes. She blinked, suddenly understanding why he had done this in the TARDIS; it was the most intimate they could get in this situation.
"River," he said simply, but she understood. She heard "River, it's good to see you," "River, how are you here?" "River, I have something to tell you," but mostly "River, I love you." She closed her eyes happily, but refused to move away.
"Would someone tell me what in the Sam Hill is happening?" said Applejack, always lacking guile.
The Doctor pulled away awkwardly and River realized that almost all eyes in the entire bakery were on the two of them. She blushed, unsure of how their intimate greeting would be construed among the ponyfolk.
"River is a very good friend of mine from back home," the Doctor explained lamely.
"I'd say you're more than friends," came the soft voice again. River glanced around but no one else, not even the Doctor, seemed to notice.
Pinkie Pie jumped forward. "Well then we're soooo glad that she has someone here she knows! That way you can help her get used to Ponyville and make even more new friends!" A few mutters of approval sounded, and the party seemed to resume.
"Doc, can I talk to you?" asked Twilight, and River was left alone. Ditzy glared at her… or maybe the muffin display beside her. River couldn't… couldn't think. Her rude thoughts were dashed down once again.
"Odd," she muttered, knowing the Doctor would hear her and probably understand. He nodded surreptitiously, eyes still on Twilight, who was talking to him in a low voice.
Suddenly River felt herself being pushed over and toppled headfirst onto the ground. A few ponies stopped and looked, but no one seemed concerned. Jumping up and spinning around furiously, River was met with the sight of another blue pegasus, but unlike Ditzy, this one had a wild, rainbow-colored mane. Her eyes narrowed, too upset to appreciate the fantastic hair.
"I'm so sorry!" the crasher gasped, out of breath. River tried to glare a bit harder, but her eyes seemed to open up more. Maybe this pony didn't mean to hurt her. She seemed alright.
"It's okay," River said before she realized what words were leaving her mouth. What? Normally this type of clumsiness would annoy her to no end.
"Way to go, Rainbow Crash!" Called Applejack, trotting over. "I see ya've met River."
River glanced back at the rainbow pony, who was starting to turn purple in the face. Her first instinct was that she was choking, until she realized that she was blushing. Applejack cantered over and planted a kiss on the pegasus's cheek.
"I'm teasin' sugarcube."
"I know, AJ, I just hate that nickname."
"Sorry, would you prefer me to call you Dashie?" Applejack winked at her friend, who blushed even more. "River, this is my gal Rainbow Dash."
"Pardon?" River sputtered out, slightly stunned by the implications and still recovering from getting knocked to the ground.
"You know, we're together," Rainbow said, stamping the ground proudly. "I know I look way too awesome for her, but—"
"But I'm the only one who can put up with her braggin'" Applejack finished. "Speaking of, we need to talk about the next Iron Pony competition." The two trotted off together, heads bowed close.
After a moment pondering, River shrugged. She was pretty accepting of the fact that there were talking ponies that baked cupcakes and read books. Why not just throw in different sexual orientations along with that?
"It's unusual, isn't it?" came an already recognizable voice beside her. Smiling broadly, River turned to the Doctor.
"Not really, when you look at the big picture." River swished her tail, something she had been dying to try out. "They're ponies. Sentient ponies with a civilization and a culture. Sociological matters are universal."
The Doctor shook his head. "Sometimes I forget you're an archaeologist."
"Sometimes I forget you're an… Oh…" River's mind slipped again. "Shoot."
"Oh, yes, that. Let me explain." An explosion of confetti came from somewhere nearby. "Outside. Let me explain outside."