Samurai Jackson: Jump into Equestria

by ron


He jumped,

Samurai Jackson, the king of boxing jump. He didn't want Equestria, or to go to it. But such is the way of the jump. You see, in his hay-day, he was quite the lord of the land. People looked up to him for the commands of conquering. And they were successful. What a force he was... But today? Why, today he wasn't even a penny of what he was before, he was just a lonely little duckling jumping around for food, this is all he could do. But why was he so poor? As before, he was the lord, now he was dog pee puddle.

Plain and simple:

THE FREE MARKET HAS SPOKEN

~

Today was no different, Samurai Jackson was jumping like 400 light years into the Chinese restaurant in which he was eating in. But oh jeez, the sweaty little children asked him to leave because he couldn't stay seated without jumping up so high, it was scaring the dogs in the back. But Samurai Jackson was not having it that day. He slashed and dashed the bony kids. The blood, it was nowhere to drain, and so naturally the chairs were bloody. Oh gross. Anyway, the towns people unleashes the dogs of war but they were scared, they picked up their spears and pitchforks and chased away Samurai Jackson. Now Samurai Jackson had killed many (for example, there was a roach) but this was too many! It was like that scene from The Matrix Reloaded, except Samurai Jackson wasn't able to handle the sheer number. So he ran.

"Chase Jackson! Chase Jackson! He has no bones!" They yelled.

Now because Samurai Jackson was athlete super-star king of boxing jump, he ran away and they could not catch him. He ran all the way to the hill, kind of like that one from The Nightmare Before Christmas. He pondered.

"What can I possibly do. I have not had the power of a lord in eons... I'm nothing now, and they all hate me."

They was nothing but give up in him. So he did what he felt was right. He was going to kill himself. How? By jumping. Samurai Jackson was going to jump so high, that he would die when he hit the ground.

"Good idea" He thought.

He compressed all the power in his body into the legs, and got ready for the biggest jump ever seen by man. After his legs soaked up all the jump juice, he released, and jumped extremely high. He jumped so high that he left the planets atmosphere, and even went past the moon. He realized that he wasn't going to be able to hit the ground and die by this point.

"I'm screwed" He said.

But wait, it didn't end. You see, he kept going. He jumped so high he was going faster than light, and quickly smashed against the edge of the universe... So what happened? He went into another universe of course! The smash was intense, and left him unconscious. He drifted through this new universe, and eventually fell on a planet. In Equestria.

He woke up, and was in confused.

"Oh no! I thought I was dead!"

But no, and now he will continue to suffer the eyes of judging ponies... Wait, ponies? Yeah, that's right, there were ponies all around him, eye balling him. Wondering what he was, and mocking him.

This was just the beginning of what would become the biggest, most ultimateness thing of all time...

(Find out next chapter.)