//------------------------------// // Missing Shade of Red 2.5: Bureaucrats (Revised) // Story: The Pony Dialogues // by Knowledge //------------------------------// Revision: 12/26/2015 Chapter Context: 2.3: Ei Rikr (Ever Ruler) and Sophia (Wisdom) continued their search for the immigration offices. Arriving at the town hall, they made their way to the basement where the non-equines are taken care of. 2.2: Pencil Pusher is injured when Lyra rushes into the town hall. Now he cleans up a bloody nose and must deal with broken glasses. ----------------------------------Town Hall basement for Non-Equine Services (Equestrian perspective)------------------------------------- (AN: Reminder that Ei Rikr=Ever Ruler and Sophia=Wisdom. I decided to switch this chapter to the Equestrian language perspective.) Wisdom efficiently navigated her parent to the immigration office, where Pencil Pusher was working. The bureaucrat pony had a box of tissues out for his freshly bleeding nose. "Could you ask the stallion if I could use some of those paper things?" Wisdom asked in the common language of the forest. Ever Ruler understood and addressed Pencil Pusher. "Hello, sir." Pencil Pusher noticed the changeling and the filly. "Can I help, you?" he asked with his voice distorted by his blocked up nasal passages. "I am here to see if I can move into your country. Also, my daughter wants a few of those disposable paper handkerchiefs you have there," the changeling explained. Pencil Pusher almost nodded then he remembered he had a bloody nose. Instead, he just pushed the box a little. The filly took the box and blew her nose, which had been running since she had gone through the flower gardens. "Of course, the filly can have one." Ever Ruler picked out a few tissues for zir daughter and using one showed her how to blow her nose. This was all based on the changeling's experience of other people having done so since changelings don't have sinuses or anything to get congested. They are made out of flame after all. Pencil Pusher then gave zir the immigration form and went back to nursing his nose bleed. "Sir," the changeling said to get the attention of the bureaucrat again. This proved successful. "I am blind and will need help with this form." Pencil frowned. "Uh, I am sorry, sir, but if you would notice, my glasses are broken, so I cannot help you with your form either." Pencil assumed Ever Ruler was a male pony because the changeling was nice to him. "What should I do then?" the changeling asked. "Just a moment, I will get my colleague from domestic immigration office," Pencil said as he got up and left the office. Like the stallion said, in a moment, he was back with a mare who looked rather similar to him. "This is my sister. Pocket Protector. She said she has some time to help you with you immigration form and application for placement into Equestria." Pocket Protector looked closely at the little family before her. "Brother, you said I was working with ponies not some bug thing." Pencil rubbed his eyes, trying helplessly to focus them. "You are not a pony. I assumed..." "No worries. It is not the first time someone has mistaken me as one of their speices own," the changeling interrupted the confused but calm stallion. "If we will begin, I need to get back to work in the other room before the Strongheart family finishes their paperwork," Protector said. "Right away then." Protector and took a chair by a desk in the office placed there just for groups of immigrants to do their paperwork on. As they sat, Wisdom had finished cleaning her nose but had left her tissues lying on the ground. Protector noticed this. "Little one, I don't know why you are here, but you should at least put your tissues in the trash bin." Wisdom replied with a confused look of her own, which would had melted even the bureaucrat's heart had the calm spell not sapped her of all ability to recognize cuteness. "The trash bin is that container over there. People place food and paper waste in them," Ever explained to Wisdom. Pencil Pusher indicated a trash bin below his desk with his spare hoof. Sophia understood then what she must do, but decided it was a good opportunity to practice her magic. Pencil Pusher had no idea what was happening as flying balls of disgusting stuff flew around him as the filly tried to perfect her aim. The horsefly found this all so very entertaining, but Protector had neither humor nor time for distractions and asked the changeling to help her fill out the form. "What is your name?" she asked. "Ei Rikr," ze replied. "Equestrian, please." "Ever Ruler," ze said. "Is that ruler as in leader or as in the measuring device," the bureaucrat asked curious. "As in leader," Ever called, answered. This prompted Protector to wonder briefly if 'ever ruler' was anything like Princess Celestia. "Gender?" "All, none, any, if those options are available?" Ever asked. Protector looked at the changeling confused again. "Male or female?" "Uh, I am not really either when I am like this," the changeling said, indicating zir undisguised state. "Male then," Protector said, having decided that she did not like this Non-Equine. "Now, what is your race?" "Pferdfliege or horsefly in your tongue," Ever answered. Protector looked through a list of boxes for horsefly but could not find it, so just nicked 'other' and wrote it in the box beside the option. "You are clearly capable of speech, but you are not a recognized species of Equine or a national species of one of Equestria's allied nations. Ironic though seeing you are a horsefly. Therefore, I must mark you as livestock." "What---?" Ever began but was cut off by Pocket Protectors next question. Ze was going to ask about the 'livestock' designation. "Age?" "Pretty old." This did not amuse the bureaucrat. "Would 1500 lunar years suffice. I lived a really long time, I stopped taking count when people started treating me different for it. I am just a person with all the ignorance and foolishness that comes with that." Protector took out a little book and a calculator from inside the desk. The lunar calendar had been reinstated when Luna had returned to ponykind two years ago, and bureaucrats now had the pleasure of measuring things both in lunar years and solar years. Finishing the calculation, the desk worker concluded that Ever was around 1405 solar years old. That was as older than the princesses, which Pocket Protector found hard to believe. She did not question the non-equines though. "Family?" "Three. There is me, Wisdom here, and Corvo Nevermore who I intend to meet up when I find where ze is." "What does Corvo mean in Equestrian?" "That is hard. It is the family name which both Crows and Ravens are part of," Ever replied. The bureaucrat just wrote down Raven. "Reason for immigrating?" "I lost my home," Ever answered, avoiding addressing the wars of the South Continent. Filly decided this was an appropriate time to interrupt. "Parent, I need to eat now." Ever suddenly realized that ze had forgotten the time. It didn't help that Wisdom didn't feel hunger easily due to her condition. Ever took off the saddlebag that Courage (Andrea) had given zir. The buffalo had placed some gold doubloons they found in the cave they had camped in last night. The cave also must have been home to a dragon at one point because there were just piles of treasure lying around it. (1) "Here, while I take care of this form with Mrs. Protector, you go find some restaurant and buy a small meal," Ever explained. "What is a restaurant?" Wisdom asked. "Just ask some of the ponies up there what a restaurant is and they will answer for you. None of the ponies can hurt you while my spell is still activated." "How will I ask them if they don't understand forest language?" Wisdom asked. "Uh," Ever floundered, zir wings vibrating irregularly in zir nervousness. Looking at objects on the table, one of them stood out as a brilliant idea. "Use this pad of paper and pencil. You can talk to them in writing since you know to read and write in the ancient language." Wisdom understood and left with the gold doubloons. Ever waited for zir daughter to leave before returning to paperwork. "Okay, where were we?" Ever asked. "I was about to ask you if any of those in your family need language lessons. We have a teacher for livestock named Rose Stone, who will come to the farm at which you become stationed on the weekends," Protector explained. "One, my daughter," the changeling replied. Protector shook her head. How could a pony not know Equestrian. This just gets stranger and stranger, she thought to herself. "If I may ask, how many more questions are on the form?" Ever inquired. Protector used the calculator once more. "588 more questions to be exact." Ever flapped zir wings twice slowly, in a changeling equivalent of a groan. Hours later The horsefly felt like tearing zir wings right off when finally Pocket Protector said, "We are done. I will get your position voucher." The earth pony mare walked to her brother's table gave him the paperwork to have a copy made for Canterlot for national record. She took out a pink slip of paper and hoofed it to Ever, not realizing the creature was blind. "Wah, hey, tell me when you are going to give me something," Ever complained. Protector apologized. "Give that voucher to the owner of Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow morning. Her name is Granny Smith. She will give you work, food, and a place to sleep." "Why did I answer all those questions about my talents if I am just going to work on a farm?" Ever wondered with not a small amount of anger. Protector rolled your eyes. "We ask non-equines like you about your talents because we want to know if your body, not your mind, has something to give us that ponies cannot create themselves. Sheep produce wool, cows milk, and pigs mud. You sadly don't seem to have any talents we are looking for, so will be given labor." "But surely you need teachers," Ever said. "Even if there was an open teaching position in Ponyville, we could not give it to an non-equine." This made the changeling click zir fangs in surprise. "Why?" "You see this mark on my flank?" Protector asked. If Ever could see, ze would have saw an image of a front shirt pocket with a pen and calculator not unlike the one she was wearing now. "This symbolizes my destiny, and I must do what it says. So in order for us ponies to do work related to our special talent, non-equines must become livestock or pets in order to avoid competing with us for jobs." (2) "So us 'non-equines' as you call us have no hope of doing what we have passion for?" Ever asked worried. Protector rolled her eyes. "Do you have a cutie mark? No. You can do farm labor and learn to be happy doing that. For us with Cutie Marks, it would be wrong for us to do anything which we were not meant to do. Of the two possibilities, your choice is by far the more cruel." Ever was not ready to give up this point. Ze had hoped in restarting zir career as a philosopher in this pony civilization so that Sophia could experience the paradise that was the School of the Eternal Siblings. "There must be other equines in your nation other than ponies. Do they have Cutie Marks as well?" Protector shook her head. "No, there are mules, donkey's, and now Saddle Arabian horses." "From what you told me, they don't get these same restrictions on where they can live and work." "It would be cruel to treat a fellow equine like an animal," the mare replied confused. "Doesn't that cause the same kind of problems as refusing non-equines more appropriate employment?" "It causes problems but that is why the domestic immigration offices exist. It is our job to make that the number of available jobs are inflated just enough that non-pony equines can live among us without causing trouble for our Harmony. Also, most mules just work on farms overseeing the livestock, which does not interfere with ponies," Pocket Protector explained. (3) "Do ponies have talents related to working with non-equines?" the philosopher inquired. "There are lots of Cutie Marks related to animals. We have animal catchers,--" "Animal catchers?" Ever interjected. "Ponies whose talent is capturing non-equines who have run away from the owners," she answered. Ever chirped with obvious discontent. "We also those domesticate animals like Fluttershy. Domestication is the process where animals have their instincts removed and made dependent on ponies for their care. This is essential step in making them into pets." "Pets?" "Pets are non-equines who live in houses where ponies take care of all their needs. Pets cannot speak Equestrian, which is strange. Fluttershy says she can understand what they are saying. How can they say anything if they don't have a language?" "Perhaps they have a language," Ever hinted. "Are there any other 'animal' jobs about which I should know?" "Oh, other than that there are ponies who specialize handling animals in the rodeo. That is where ponies tie up bulls and other large non-equines with ropes. This is to show off who is the best at controlling non-equines. It is really fun to watch." Ever would be a hypocrite if ze outright rejected what the mare said as extreme. Ze believe in a willingness to learn from other. The philosopher gripped the job voucher tightly in zir hoof. "This job is a start. I shouldn't expect everything to be perfect. Corvo warned me of being to idealistic." "Oh before you go," Pencil Pusher said quickly to get the resolute changeling's attention. "You should go to Golden Oaks Library to get a book called Everything You wanted to Know about Equestria But Were Too Afraid to Ask: A Foreigner's Guide to Ponies by Princess Twilight Sparkle. It is now require reading for international immigrants like yourself." (4) That is convenient, Ei Rikr thought. ------------------------------------------------- Town Hall Ground Floor ------------------------------------------------------- With that, Ever left the basement of Ponyville Town Hall and stood on the ground floor of the building. Ze felt a little light from having expended so much energy that day on spells and paperwork. The horsefly felt that ze should do some thinking in order to unwind after filling out a grueling form for the Equestrian government. "What are you looking at, stranger?" asked some anonymous earth pony painting the interior of town hall. "Oh nothing, just thinking about what I want to think about." "Never heard about somepony doing that before. Perhaps that is your unique talent, you know, like us ponies." Ever laugh with zir wings. "If that was my cutie mark, perhaps ponies would let me do some teaching. Well, alas there is no way for me to forge one while I am blinded." Then ze remembered the Poison Joke cure that Zecora was making. It only added to zir apprehension for the future. The pony ignored the comment about 'forging a cutie mark.' "Well, I got to get back to painting. If you figure out what you want to think about, tell me," said the earth pony. His comment gave the changeling an idea. "You are painting, sir?" Ever asked politely. "Yep, painting the wall," he replied. There was an old puzzle among inner philosophers of whether one could imagine a shade of a color they had never seen before. Ever took this as an opportunity to test that. "Is this your color?" Ever flashed in green flame before becoming a sky blue. While Ever's ability to transform had been greatly weakened by loss of eyesight, ze could still change zir color. "I am painting the walls a light shade of red," the stallion said, refusing to say pink in case it summoned a particular pony while he was still on the ladder. Ever transformed into a rose color. "Pardon, I am blind, and this is kind of like a game. Is this your color?" "Still too dark. Lighter." The stallion got off his ladder carrying his paint can with him and move it over a few steps to the right. While he climbed the ladder with the paint bucket in tow, the entrance opened suddenly. A pony galloped through and up the stairs. This caused the stallion, paint can, and all to fall down. The pink paint splattered all over the place, especially on the horsefly. As was in accordance with the custom of ponykind, the offending mare ignored the chaos she caused. "Am I the right color now?" Ever asked mirthfully as the 'light red' paint dripped down zir carapace. "Uh yes," the stallion said before fainting from the crash. Ever laughed with zir wings, finding a way. "I guess I should get you off the floor." Lifting the earth pony with zir magic, Ever placed him on a nearby chair ze had found with some trail-and-error. When Ever got outside, ze noticed something immediately. The pacification spell had been dispelled. Ze could sense the emotions returning to the townponies.