Week 3 - Pinkie Apple Pie - or - Prince Blueberry Pie
When Princess Celestia calls an emergency meeting of the Royal Council, the foundations of Equestria from the highest to the lowest could be shaken by the revelations of one simple party pony and her father.
[Rocks][Royalty][Revisions]
EqD Prompt: While helping Twilight Sparkle with her genealogical research, Pinkie discovers another surprising familial connection. Pinkie heads out to investigate.
Prince Blueberry Pie
“You may be wondering why I’ve called you here together.” Pinkie Pie posed at the front of the council chambers, looking over the six Royal Advisors to Princess Celestia. It was a rather grumpy group, gathered together on short notice at Princess Celestia’s request, but they all were present. Each of the very important ponies represented an important section of the Equestrian government, from the far-traveling Minister of Foreign Affairs to the rather stodgy Minister of the Interior, who was rumored to sleep in his office and only emerge for meetings and retirement parties. They all looked back at Pinkie Pie with various degrees of chill, ranging from a cool glance from Ambassador Dill to a fairly subzero glare emanating from Prince Blueblood, who was seated while still wearing his polo outfit and with his favored polo mallet close at hoof.
“I can’t believe my auntie dragged us all into a meeting on such a wonderful afternoon,” groused Blueblood, shifting his polo mallet in a way that managed to poke both of his nearby fellow councilponies. “I could be out in the polo field, galloping around without a care in the world, but I’m stuck here with all of you.”
“Now Prince Blueblood,” cautioned Princess Twilight. “You should be grateful for your position of responsibility over your fellow ponies. It’s a difficult task at times, and has its share of dangers, but the rewards make the job well worth it. Besides, Pinkie Pie brought a tray of cupcakes.”
“Yeppers! I got a yummy blueberry and alfalfa seed cupcake for Ambassador Dill, because he likes ‘em so much, and a low-fat cream cheese iced pumpkin one for Count DeBits, ‘cause he’s watching his tummy, and—”
“Bah!” Blueblood waved a disparaging hoof. “Peasant food. Not a tart or crepe among them. Auntie!” He rose to his hooves along with the rest of the councilors as Princess Celestia and Princess Luna proceeded into the council chamber, side by side. They both ignored Blueblood’s current complaints while snagging a cupcake on their way by the tray.
“Oh, sister!” Luna floated a chocolate cupcake up to her nose and took a delicate bite. “Double-double chocolate-chocolate with pecans. Exquisite.”
“And a cloud cake cupcake with ice icing.” Celestia took a brief nibble and dabbed her lips with a napkin. “Pure perfection. There’s just one thing wrong.”
“What’s that, Princess?” asked Pinkie Pie, jumping up and down on her cushion.
“You’re in my seat.”
Once Pinkie Pie had been evicted from her spot and placed next to Princess Twilight, the two Diarchs took their seats. The rest of the council waited for them to get comfortable before sitting down on their own cushions, although one or two of them snagged an extra cupcake before the meeting started.
“You may be wondering why I’ve called you here together,” began Celestia, pausing only infinitesimally as the Minister of the Interior snorted frosting over the table. “Recently, a research project led by my student, Princess Twilight Sparkle, discovered something rather surprising in the archives. I have called her and the researcher before us to explain their findings, and for you to advise me on our reaction to them. Pinkie, if you please.”
“Right!” The pink party pony hopped up off her cushion and pulled a large display board out of somewhere. Whirls of loopy writing with circles and arrows darting all across the paper covered every single inch of surface, and with a pointer held securely in one hoof, Pinkie began her presentation.
“As you can see here, this squiggly bit connects to these two circles with a blue line, although I probably should have used a pink line but it would have clashed with these pink spirals here and over here, and you know you just can’t clash with pink. Anyway, those split into wobbly parts and travel over here and here to this triangle where we add two circles and a octiheliedon—”
“Excuse me, Miss Pie? Doctor Whizgig from the Ministry of Education, Enlightenment and Extradimensional Identification here. Those circles are marked ‘eggs.’”
“And the triangle is marked ‘milk’ while you’ve got ‘whisk’ marked on the squiggles,” added Ambassador Dill.
“Well, of course, silly. You can’t make cupcakes without eggs and milk. Well, unless you’re making cupcakes for somepony who is lactose intolerant, in which case you use—”
“Pinkie!” Twilight Sparkle picked up the pointer and rummaged around in her bags. “I told you to pack the — oh, there they are.” A set of genealogical trees floated over, was placed on top of the cupcake recipe, and the newest alicorn princess pointed to the top of the chart.
“As you can see from this family tree of the Pie genealogy, the patriarch of the present Pie family was Blueberry Pie, who originally came from Canterlot over four centuries ago. Married to Blackberry Jam, he traveled to western Equestria to establish one of the first rock farms in the whole country. Over the years, the family grew as they expanded from just rock farms to include kumquat farming and one of Equestria’s biggest pickled pepper plants.”
“Umm,” said Pinkie Pie with a glazed look. “Uncle Piccolo has the best pickled peppers ever.”
“Ah. Right.” Twilight Sparkle flipped the chart to one side and replaced it with another. “Here we have the family tree of the Blueblood family for the same time period. Please note the name at the top of the chart.”
“Antonio Sugarberry Siena Blueblood,” said Princess Celestia with a thoughtful frown. “There was something about him that always made me a little unsettled. The rest of the aristocracy always insisted on using his initials in any correspondence.”
“That’s because Antonio was Berry Pistachio Starburst Blueblood’s brother.”
“That’s preposterous!” Prince Blueblood stood up and pointed at Pinkie Pie with his polo mallet, nearly braining one of his fellow Ministers in the process. “Are you telling me that I’m related to — her?”
“Calm down, Horace.“ Blueblood turned to snap out a sharp response to the pony who had called him by his hated name, but paused rather than shout at his aunt, who was regarding him rather thoughtfully. “Horatio Regal Horace Blueblood, please control your temper and listen to the rest of her presentation. I think you will find it educational. Proceed, Twilight.”
“Thank you, Princess. Once we had identified a link between the families, Pinkie and I went into the archives to continue our research. It was very difficult, but we found the birth records of both Antonio and Berry’s birth.” She levitated a wrinkled sheet of paper out of her bags and onto the middle of the table, where it promptly caught fire and burned to ashes.
“Oops,” said Blueblood. “I only meant to pick it up.”
“That’s fine,” said Twilight, levitating out another sheet of paper onto the table. “I made a dozen copies. As you can see, Antonio was born the year after Berry, making him the younger of the two. As such, the title of Prince should have passed to Berry on the death of his sire, and traveled down the line of succession from there to the present.”
“This is outrageous, Auntie!” snapped Blueblood swinging the polo mallet around the table and making various Ministers duck for cover. “The title of Prince has remained in the Blueblood line for generations. There has been a Blueblood on the council since the first Blueblood, and there will be a Blueblood at this table for as long as there are Bluebloods!”
Celestia nodded. “There is precedent for keeping the title of Prince within the Blueblood line, as well as a good argument for placing the title with the current legal inheritor. The laws of Equestria are a bit fuzzy in that regard, allowing great leeway among the representatives and the aristocracy to assign titles in the event of a dispute. As this is a matter that touches family, it is only proper that my sister and I recuse ourselves from any such decision by this council, but we will accept its decision.”
“Auntie!” Blueblood turned to the rest of the Ministers with a whine. “Guys?”
The Minister of the Interior raised one hoof and waited for the Princesses to nod before speaking. “Who, may I ask, would be the legal inheritor in the event that we decide in their favor?”
The doors at the back of the council chamber opened with a glow of golden magic and a plain stallion walked into the room. For the occasion, he was wearing a slim black tie and decidedly hatless, although despite his lack of headwear, he seemed at ease with the rest of the council.
“Ladies and gentlecolts, may I present Igneous Rock, father to Pinkie Pie and the current legal heir to the title of Prince—”
“No!” whined Blueblood.
“As well as the estates, property and allowances thereof.”
“My house?” whimpered Blueblood. “It’s where I keep all of my stuff.”
“Don’t worry, my nephew,” purred Celestia. “Even if you are stripped of your inheritance, you’ll still have anything you’ve earned with your own labor.”
“You cannot possibly be thinking of giving my title to him, can you? Think of all I’ve done for you.”
“Well, that didn’t take long,” said Ambassador Dill. “Let me have a closer look at that paper.”
The council gathered into a circle and whispered among themselves for a relatively short amount of time before returning to their seats, each with a broad smile.
“Your Highness, we would like to welcome Prince Rock to our membership, and are looking forward to a long and harmonious relationship with him.”
“My house,” whimpered Blueblood, dropping his polo mallet behind the table. “All of my things. I’m bitless.”
“Now don’t you worry none,” said the newly minted Prince Igneous Rock, coming up behind the despondent stallion with a reassuring hoof on one shoulder. “I know what it’s like to have nothing and work your way up from the rocks, so I’d be happy to give you a little something to help you out.”
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“Stupid rocks!” Blueblood gave a vicious kick to a lumpy rock sitting in a line with several hundred of its companions, just one of many such lines of rocks that laced over the landscape of the Pie Rock Farm. He regarded the tumbled stone with vitriol for long minutes before bending down and scooting it back in line with the rest, even turning it over so the lichen were properly aligned with the sun.
It seemed natural, for some reason, and the feeling was beginning to frighten him.