//------------------------------// // Ch2-1: A New Home // Story: The Perky Pink Parfait of Ponyville // by RGLloyd //------------------------------// I had woken up earlier on Fluttershy’s couch to the gaze of that alicorn, staring curiously at me. Twilight had been drilling me for hours now, and though it was some comfort that most of her entourage had left, I was still tense from being trapped and interrogated inside an assassins home cave by a pony princess. However, Fluttershy was rubbing my shoulders in a very calming and endearing fashion, and making sure my changeling cravings never went unsated. All of which was extremely confusing. Everything considered, it was far from the brutality I would have expected from warrior ponies finding a trespasser on their grounds. Who knew they would use love tactics to extract information from their captives? Being impressed didn’t make it any less difficult dancing around Twilight’s questions without getting lost in my own thoughts. Luckily, that blue genius wasn’t around, but I still had to have tact, and plan my answers carefully. I hadn’t confirmed the princess’ own level of intelligence yet. So I was flying blind, but they couldn't find out my changeling heritage under any circumstances. Of course, I had taken extra care not to tell them that. The sound of Twilight clearing her throat snapped me out of my thoughts. My wings agitated in nervous anticipation as she finished mulling over my story, and began to recap. “So let me get this straight. Your name is Shattered Dreams.” Twilight eyed me up and down. “You grew up in the badlands, were raised by changelings, and actually lived in a hive with them?” I nodded, proud of her simplified synopsis of my life that elegantly skirted the truth of what I was. Though, as she continued, a growing queezy apprehension spread through my new pony stomach. I really should try to figure out if this body could live without it. || Pause || “No, Mr. Dreams. I assure you, you should keep your stomach to, uhm, well...to survive.” Fluttershy’s smiling voice twanged at my pride as little snickers erupted across the channel. “Thank you, Fluttershy, I kinda figured that out though…” “Oh! Did you starve?” Pinkie screamed in my ear. “I can’t imagine that felt good!” I flinched, throwing all of my willpower into not breaking the connection by dropping my ears. “Of course not, Pinkie, I wouldn’t be alive.” “Then how did…” I cut her off quickly before it got too far out of hoof. “Twilight taught me anatomy!” “Liar! No she didn’t! Cause I taught...” Applejack caught herself. “Applejack, I’m impressed!” Twilight beamed through the lines. “I hope you used a simple book. He gets a little confused sometimes without pictures since he can’t read well yet.” “Thank you, Princess, for smoothing over the misunderstanding for me, but she didn’t need any books. Her lessons were hooves on.” “Shut up Shatter…” Applejack grumbled. Stunned silence, except for Twilight’s ever present scribbling in the background. Maybe it wasn’t smoothed over! I almost panicked. I had to do something, quick! I missed the foreleg tightening around my neck as I continued quickly, trying not to be ungrateful. “Oh, but, I really did enjoy the more hooves on learning! Don’t get me wrong. Twilight’s explanations were very thorough and informative, but yours were valuable experience.” “Somepony please shut it up.” Applejack was getting madder. “Hooves on experience!?” Dash blurted out, completely dumbfounded. “Applejack, you have some splainin’ ta do!” “Dash! I sound nothin’ like that...” Applejack grumbled. Rarity whined into the channel. “Yes, please explain to us in the proper accent, dear, what is he going on about?” Pinkie’s forelegs tightened their hug. I smiled, snuggling down. She was so protective. “It’s nothin’/somethin’, I mean it’s not like we did anythin’...much. It ‘didn’t mean nothin’’/’meant a whole heap of somethin’’ to me!” Applejack stuttered, grasping for words as the channel pulled the truth out of her. “Ah, dern’ this stupid truth speakin’! Shatter, next time I tell ya to keep yer yap shut, keep yer yap shut!” Pinkie was being really really protective, her legs hugging me ever tighter. She must be worried about where this was going. Rarity burst in. “Applejack, what are you saying!? Just how meaningful are we talking about?” “Of course her lessons were very meaningful, as much so as Twilight’s or Flurtashees...” The last word was strangled. I would have continued, but Pinkie’s forelegs were making it difficult to breath. “Yeah, A.J., come on and spill some juicy details! You suck at lying anyway, so just give it up. You know, like you did to S.D. over there.” Dash snickered as Rarity gasped in disgust. “Hay, ah did not just ‘give it up’! I gotta mighty heavy tail on me, it don’t lift easy! He just, and I, and there was…” Applejack sighed, giving in. “Aww shucks, it all happened when we was buckin’...” “Yeah it did!” Dash cut her off, followed by riotous laughter. Can’t breath! “Pinkie!?” I inquired to no avail. “Apples! Buckin’ apples you nit!” “Can we please get back to the story?” Twilight had been growing steadily more impatient. “I really don’t see this going anywhere.” “Hay S.D., tell Twilight, how many Apples did you buck that day? I know it was at least six, three for each flank!” Dash redoubled in her laughter. “Rainbow Dash! Stop it this instant…” Rarity chided. “I can’t!” Dash blurted out. “I wish I could…” “Why, I’m flattered R.D., couldn’t get through school so ya learn’ta count from starin’ at mah flank. Kinda thought you swung that way.” “Hay!” Dash barked back. Applejack snickered. “Look. We didn’t/couldn’t get too far! Alright!? Just drop it, it’s over with. I ain’t interested in no changeling anyhow.” The others pressed on, but Pinkie stayed silent as the rest of the argument faded from my mind. I tapped and pulled frantically at her forelegs, though I have no recollection of exactly when I passed out. When I came to, the argument had ended. Everypony agreed to let it drop until the actual scene of that day played out in my story. Pinkie seemed satisfied with that, and her touch was much softer. The only one still confused on the whole matter was myself. I wondered, if I asked about it, would Pinkie strangle me again? “Yes, yes I will…silly.” Pinkie chirped merrily, reading my thoughts through the channel. Though her voice held an icy chill to it. “And the only pony allowed to teach you anatomy from now on is me.” “Ah, well that answers that.” “Pinkie promise…” “I Pinkie promise!” I went through the motions. “Yeouch!” Pinkie giggled. “Hoof in the eye?” “Yeah… I can’t see from the spell, and I kinda...” “Hah! See!” Twilight barked out. “I am not the only one!” Dash burst in. “Twilight, he’s blind! You do it in broad daylight.” Rarity cut them both off, skillfully avoiding another argument. “Speaking of blindness, Twilight dear, can we break for tea? I am overdue to straighten my mane.” “Rarity, nopony can see you, we’re all blind from the spell.” Applejack stated matter of factly. “Applejack, sophistication isn’t about what is apparent, but what may be apparent.” Rarity huffed. “Being blind is no excuse not to be fabulous. What if somepony were to walk in? Where...” I shook the whole incident from my mind, blocking out the ensuing argument, and continued my story. < Play > Twilight shifted, her mane looking a bit frazzled as she continued her recap on my life. “Then after surviving countless fights with the harsh fauna native to that area, your family was slaughtered by ponies!?” She raised an eyebrow. “Finally, you escaped from the hive through the Everfree forest all alone to come here?” I relaxed a little. “Yes! You are a very good listener. I know my history must sound odd to you.” “Odd?” She stared at me with an incomprehensible look. “Odd!?” I cringed with an awkward nervous grin, the tone of her voice hitting me like a brick labeled ‘derp’. Her head fell to the side, her ears flopping over, an eye twitching ever so slightly. “That’s not quite the description I would use. Perhaps… unique. Wait, considering your unique past, do you even know how to pony?” I siezed up, terrified and a bit too confused to answer. She really knew how to ask the right questions in just the right ways! || Pause || “Dang it Rarity. Just, dern yer sophistimacation, and let’s get on with this.” Applejack’s voice drawled sarcastically through the lines as she switched targets. “So, let me get this straight, Twilight. This here vermit told you his life story…” Rarity cut her off. “Practically screamed ‘I’m a changeling’ at you…” “And you totally derped it!?” Dash finished, barely able to talk through her laughter. “Twilight! It’s soo your fault that Applejack got taken advantage of!” “We ain’t talkin’ bout that no more, we had’a deal!” “Couldn’t help it!” Dash snickered. “You were just too ripe for the picking!” “Girls!” Rarity barked at them. “Try to show a little etiquette Rainbow Dash. Please?” She cleared her throat as they calmed down. “So, Twilight, the point is still valid, however rudely it was delivered. What exactly did you think of his story? Also, asking somepony if they know how to pony is a bit awkward, uhm, no offense darling, but awkward even for you.” Twilight’s words dripped with embarrassment. “Hay! I was in shock! And-and I was taking mental notes without my pad! It’s not like he came out, and said he was a changeling or anything. Of course I thought it was odd. The whole story was odd, I didn’t know what to think.” She paused. “Actually, that whole encounter gets a lot weirder.” It made me a little happy that I wasn’t the only one confused in that first encounter. I enjoyed hearing the thoughts of my frie… the ponies I had first met. A wave of sadness settled on my shoulders. I really wanted them back. I wished Pinkie would talk more. Her thoughts were the ones I really wanted to hear, but she was too busy licking my neck at the moment. Which I easily settled for instead. I could almost taste the anticipation in the room as I continued, reconnecting my private thoughts back into the channel, back into judgement. < Play > Twilight shook her head, and stood. “Fluttershy, do you have a quill and some paper? I really need to take some notes.” She looked back at me. “You aren’t planning on leaving anytime soon are you? We need to continue this discussion in more detail.” Fluttershy stood. “Oh, why uhm… maybe? If the mouse family hasn’t chewed them up. It is their nesting season, but I just bought some earlier today, so it may be still in my desk.” Her buttery voice floated through the room as she made her way to the desk off to the side. “Please do hurry though, I am sure Mr. Dreams is getting very hungry. I’ll need to feed him soon.” “No, I didn’t plan on leaving anytime soon, but I might now since you are asking questions that are very likely to lead to my untimely demise.” I couldn’t stop baring my teeth, and chuckling. “I can’t stop baring my fangs in a threatening posture, please excuse my rudeness. Also, I’m having difficulty keeping my thoughts to myself.” Twilight’s face scrunched up. “Threatening posture? You mean the grin? Wait…fangs?” Fluttershy returned with some paper, and a quill for Twilight. “Uhm, I really think we should stop now. Mr. Dreams is getting very nervous.” She hoofed the paper and quill off to her friend, and trotted over behind me to scratch an ear. I marveled at the calming effect it had, even though my hind hoof thumping uncontrollably against couch was quite embarrassing. “That’s a good boy Meester Dweams.” Heat spread through my muzzle, and cheeks. Twilight stared in wide eyed silence. The notepad and quill she had taken from Fluttershy flopped to the floor. I couldn’t fathom why Fluttershy could calm me down so well, but I was very grateful for it. I could look past the belittling tone, and the hoof thumping. “So, Mr. Dreams, what would you like to eat tonight?” Fluttershy nuzzled my cheek with a giggle, throwing her forelegs around my shoulders. “I can make you a nice salad, or if you are really hungry, maybe I can put a big sweet bean loaf in the oven. I have some fresh clover in the garden too.” I looked back at Twilight, keeping Fluttershy’s words in the back of my mind as I struggled to keep up. “I...I-I, on second thought, might prefer to stay around Ponyville for quite some time. There seems to be an ample amount of food here. With your permission of course.” Fluttershy’s creamy warm love was seeping in through my fur, balling up in my chest, and leaving me a little dizzy. “I think you fed me enough, uhm...Fluttershy. I’m not sure I can handle much more.” Fluttershy gasped, a hoof flying to her lips. “Oh, you poor thing. If one carrot keeps you full for a whole day…” She leaned in close, almost muzzle to muzzle, her look shifted, and I noted the features as her voice grew slightly angry. “You tell me the truth. Did those changelings feed you enough?” “Oh yes, of course, I did earn my share of the love after all.” I looked back and forth between her eyes, not sure which one to focus on this close up. “Love? They made you earn love?” Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my, I hope they weren’t m-m-mean to you?” Tears formed at the corner of her eyes. “They didn’t force you to work too hard...did they?” “Force? No, I simply worked for survival like the rest of my family.” I gave her a curious look. Fluttershy gasped. “I can’t even imagine what you went through. Did they at least let you rest?” “Of course, they wouldn’t want us to die. We naturally enjoyed a sleep cycle that lasted one quarter of the day.” I smiled awkwardly. “Were there days you didn’t have to work?” “What!? Buzz no! That’s careless. If I didn’t do my job, too many might die from the consequences!” I shoved the horror of the thought aside. “Well, though now and then somebuggy would cover my shift so I could cheer up our princess.” I beamed with pride. “We grew up together, and I was her favorite pillow!” Tears flowed down Fluttershy’s cheeks. “That’s terrible! I… it’s… so sad…” She broke down, crying softly on my shoulder with little squeaky sobs. “How can you be proud of that?” Twilight’s brow furrowed together. I was a little confused by Fluttershy’s sudden mood change. “I was thankful for what I had, and I was lucky to be part of such a good strong hive.” I tried to sound reassuring. “You’re so innocent!” Fluttershy bawled. “Twilight, we have to give him a good life here in Ponyville! Can we keep him? Please?” “Fluttershy? I, uhm… maybe?” Twilight shook her head, rubbing her temples with her hooves. “It’s not like he’s some animal we found on the side of the road…” || Pause || Rarity interrupted gently. “Fluttershy, dear, if you don’t mind my asking, what had gotten into you?” “Oh, well I was really excited.” Fluttershy paused for a moment. “It was like finding a poor defenseless and abused animal all alone with nowhere to live, and nopony to take care of him. I just couldn’t help myself.” “Well, now we know what floats Fluttershy’s wings.” Dash snickered. “Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy? Dang Shatter, everypony wants a piece of changeling action!” “Dash!” They all snapped at her. Even Pinkie joined in on that one. In fact, I think even I had whispered a word of reprisal, but I wasn’t sure. The pony’s volume behind me had scrambled my brains. Dash mentally recoiled. “I can’t help it! It’s like this channel is sucking out my every thought!” I ignored the rest of the argument, my carapace heating up to very uncomfortable levels. I’d never considered that anypony other than Pinkie may actually be romantically interested in me. I mean, it’s not like I had detected any change in love flavors at least. Then after careful consideration, I interrupted the chatter. “I do not believe Fluttershy likes me in that way.” “See… Mr. Dreams believes me. I do love him, but as a very close friend. Though, he has become part of my family now.” She sounded very sad. “I’m so afraid of losing him.” “Not if I can help it!” Pinkie chirped. “We just have to use Dreamy’s adorableness to beat the sillycernes out of the rest of our friends!” I laughed. “Pinkie, your wordplay is one of the many things I have come to crave about you. However, I can support what I said with fact. Fluttershy’s flavor is sweet, but very mild and warm. It does not taste like she is in love with me. Applejack’s love…” “Vermit, shut it or I’ma buck you into next tuesday!” “Yeah! Can we watch!?” Dash barked out, desperately trying to hold her mental laughter in. I cut off the rest of them before the arguing could restart. “...is also different! I do not believe Applejack is in love with me. As for Rainbow Dash…” “What!? Nothing happened that night!” Dash screeched. “Don’t drag me into…” “Oh, no! We’re gonna hear everythin’ that vermits gotta say. Come on Shatter, tell us where the colorful pony touched you!” “Applejack!” Rarity and Twilight chided. “Oh, my…” Fluttershy meeped. “Dash how could you take advantage of Mr. Dreams like that?” “Hay! You didn’t turn on Applejack earlier!” Dash shot back, hurt in her voice. “Applejack is responsible enough to keep her hooves to herself.” Fluttershy stated flatly. “Oh my, why would I think that! I am so sorry, Dash.” Applejack barked out a laugh. “Hah! See that R.D. you got nothin’ on me!” Pinkie whispered in my ear. “What did Dashie taste like?” “She’s confusing.” I leaned back, whispering quietly off the channels. “She seems to love me only when she’s drunk… or when I’m drunk, I can’t figure it out just yet because we are always drunk at the same time.” “But, you didn’t sleep with any of them, right?” She sounded a little worried. “It could get really sticky for all of us if you did that…” “Hmm? I’ve slept with everypony here except Rarity. Don’t you remember the picnic?” “I remember lots of picnics, but definitely not that kind of picnic!” Pinkie screamed, confusion thick in her voice. “And I know I would remember. I would have taken pictures!” “What, dear?” Rarity asked, breathing heavily after joining a heated argument that had sparked between Dash and Applejack. The argument died down, Dash squeezing in a couple whispered last words. “Did not…” Even Twilight’s incessant scribbling had gone silent. Pinkie blurted out. “Everypony went on an erotic picnic with Dreamy, and I wasn’t invited!?” Stunned silence... “What!?” They all screamed back. I balked. “Parfait, I suppose that’s one way to get their attention.” “Dreamy said you’ve all slept with him! On a picnic!” Again silence… “Pinkie, you were there too, though I’m not quite sure I would have defined that particular outing as erotic…” Pinkie stammered. “Now you aren’t making any sense! I speak nonsensical, and this isn’t translating through any of my redicunaries!” I giggled uncontrollably. “Pinkie, the words.” I tried to control it “Well, for one, I never slept with that filthy thing.” Rarity huffed. “True, you weren’t there. I haven’t slept with you, Rarity.” I smiled, stifling another giggle. “Though I would have liked to. You look quite comfy, though so far, besides Pinkie, Twilight is my favorite.” “You filthy animal… wait…” Rarity paused, and the others joined her on que. “What!?” “Twilight! How could you!?” Pinkie yelled. “Fluttershy and Applejack I could understand, but you and Dashie knew I liked Dreamy! I’m very disappointed in both of you…” She trailed off with a pouty huff. “I really didn’t think it would be that big of a deal… Redicunaries…” I snorted, giggling a bit more. “I-I-I have no idea what he is talking about!” Twilight stammered, panic in her voice. “Alright! I admit it! I have no idea what happened that night.” Dash whined. “Pinkie I’m so sorry, I was soo drunk. I have no clue what we did.” “Oh, I know… I could recount if you wish.” I smiled, happy to be helpful. “No!” Dash blurted out in response. “Don’t you dare S.D.!” “Alright, alright… We just slept together, I don’t see the big deal…” I was thoroughly confused. “Twilight? Don’t you remember all those nights we studied, and slept together on the bean bags I brought over?” Dash laughed. “Hah! I introduced him to bean bags! Looks like awesomeness is contagious.” She groaned. “I really wish I could focus right now…” “Now is not the time, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity chided. “I know that!” Dash snapped, irritation clear in her voice. “Anyway, yes, those bean bags were very comfortable, but all we did was fall asleep in them.” Twilight sounded desperate. “Pinkie, I would Pinkie promise, I swear it.” Pinkie growled. “Shatter? Twilight would never break a Pinkie promise!” “Neither would I, Parfait, but anyway, she just admitted to it. She said we fell asleep together in the bean bag chairs just like we all fell asleep on the picnic.” I smiled. “The sun was very warm that day, and there was quite a bit of food.” “Uhm, Shatter, do you mean to tell me that sleeping with is defined as falling asleep with?” Twilight inquired. “Well, yes… I think the meaning is implied within the saying, isn’t it? Not like I ran it through Pinkies redicunary.” I lost it, laughing out loud in and out of the channel. Even Pinkie groaned in response. “Dern Shatter, should’a known…” “Hah! Only S.D.!” “An understandable mistake given his background.” “Oh, that is just soo cute Meester Dweams… Oh dear, sorry.” “Phew, for a minute there, I thought somepony was lying to me. I knew there had to be a good reason!” “Uhf… There are far better things I could pretend to be doing right now than teaching a bug proper social fundamentals. Can we get on with this, please?” Pinkie grumbled to herself, and resumed her grooming of my carapace. I continued my story... < Play > Twilight inched forward, her voice tinged with surprise. “Shattered Dreams, how many other ponies were there at the hive?” “None, there were no ponies at my hive.” || Pause || I hesitated, and decided it best to omit the thoughts that accompanied that statement. “Shatter? Are you having difficulties?” Twilight inquired. “Not at all, I am deciding how exactly to recall this part.” “How about the whole truth, and gettin’ on with nothin’ but the truth?” Applejack growled at me. “I have no intention of lying, but I will not share information that puts my hive in jeopardy.” I stated flatly. “Some information you should not know.” There was a momentary uproar until Pinkie screamed. “Quiet!” They did so, and after my head stopped ringing I perked my ears slightly back, eager to hear what she had to say. “I thought we were here to prove he loved me, not force secrets of his family out of him...” I could almost hear the pouty lip. I smiled as everypony grudgingly calmed down. I whispered. “Thank you…” “You’re welcome, Dreamy.” Her voice turned dead serious. “However, you would tell me if they were harming innocent ponies, right?” I paused, fighting against an internal conflict. “I… I don’t know how to answer that. I-It’s, uhm… very complicated.” Twilight voice held a sneaky edge to it. “Can you share with us, without betraying your hive, what exactly this information pertains to?” “Uhm…” I thought for a moment. “It’s about where nymphs, changeling foals, come from.” “Oh dear Celestia! Tell me the ponies are consenting!” Twilight blurted out. Rarity choked back a sob. “Twilight, what pony would ever consent to such a thing?” “Oh, I don’t know… me?” Pinkie shot back. “I’d have his foals!” “Aww, thanks, Pinkie! That means a lot to me. Oh, and either they are consenting, or it generally doesn’t matter. Most of them are near death when they arrive at the hives.” I gritted my teeth. “And I shouldn’t have shared that.” Of the many angry, and disgusted questions that ensued, I answered but one. Twilight picked her words very carefully. “These ponies that were near death, can you tell us who harmed them?” Rarity and Applejack interrupted me before I could speak, stating how obvious the answer should be. However, Twilight shushed them, and hung on my reply. “They did it to themselves.” “The ponies hurt themselves?” She asked in disbelief. “Yes… For uhm, many reasons, our primary targets are depressed, socially shut in, or suicidal ponies.” “Can you tell us anything more than that?” “No, forgive me. In closing on this subject, I will warn you. Some truths are better left unknown if you want to sleep at night.” My breath caught in my chest. I felt dizzy and a bit queasy. “There are some truths you cannot unlearn no matter how badly you wish to erase them from memory. I am not proud of this aspect of my species. As for myself, and all changelings, our birth is something we must eventually come to terms with. Some, or rather most lose their sanity, and become mindless drones. Please, don’t ask any more.” My apprehension must have communicated loud and clear, because nopony ventured forth with new questions. Pinkie nuzzled my mane, and I took a deep cleansing sigh. Then, I quickly continued my tale. If for no other reason, to clear the horror of my own birth from my mind. < Play > “But you said your family was slaughtered by ponies before you left?” Twilight blinked at me. “Your story isn’t matching up.” “What? They were slaughtered. Before I left I was standing in a field of my fallen family.” I looked at Fluttershy, who began wailing into my shoulder, and then back to Twilight, not sure what to do. “Uhm… i-is this normal for ponies?” I looked back at Fluttershy, my hooves spread wide in confusion, not sure if I should touch her. “Wait, so who exactly was your family then?” Twilight shook her head, clearly unable to make sense of my clear and simplified story. “The changelings of course...who else would I be talking about!?” I smiled, happy with my assessment that Twilight was a warlord. Warlords weren’t often that smart, and obviously wouldn’t need a genius in their employ if they were. “Fascinating…” Twilight murmured, a slightly disturbing glint in her eyes. She scribbled across her notepad, the quil moving in a blur. || Pause || I could sense Twilight’s irritation through the channels. She really was struggling to keep her cool. I kinda felt bad. “Twilig…” I remembered her earlier admonishment. She had made it clear we were no longer friends. I gritted my teeth, and fought to keep the sadness from my voice. “Princess, I really think you are smart now. I was just confused…” “Confused?” The scribbling stopped. “That doesn’t do it justice! First you accuse me of being some bloodthirsty warlord, then you constantly think I’m out to kill you, and to top it off you think I’m an idiot, all while comparing me to the genius Rainbow Dash.” Twilight let out a rough exasperated sigh. “Hay! I thought we were being adjective here!” Dash growled at her. I groaned in embarrassment. “Princess, I didn’t know… I am so sorry. So, so sorry.” < Play > Twilight’s eyes constantly darted between myself and Fluttershy. “Where did you say you would be sleeping again?” I shrugged off Fluttershy’s tears as nothing unusual. I figured if the princess doesn’t reprimand her, then who am I to judge? However, I still had no clue where to put my hooves. “Sleeping? I have that all planned out. I will dig a hole just inside the Everfree forest. I already scouted a nice spot that the timber wolves won't notice.” “Oh, good. Well then, if you will excuse me, I need to get…” Twilight had extended her hoof towards me, much in the same manner Applejack had. “Wait, what!?” Her other foreleg gave out, and she fell onto the floor dropping her notepad and quill again. She recovered instantly, popping back up, her hair frizzing even more. “Are you crazy!?” I recoiled from her sudden outburst, adrenaline dumped into my system as I shook my head. One of Fluttershy’s forelegs slipped down, and around one of mine, her crying getting slightly louder. She tightened her grip. I pulled away slightly, but found myself very securely fastened to the clingy pony. “Shh… shhh.” Fluttershy spoke between sobs. “Twilight, please! Calm down. You’re scaring Mr. Drea-heams. He’s been through so much, and-” She turned to me her voice suddenly clearing up mid sob, her eyes refocusing with purpose. “-it’s far too dangerous to sleep in the Everfree.” Fluttershy nuzzled my neck gently. “You can stay here. I have a cozy little corner in the basement that the other animals aren’t using.” My eyes widened. “Oh, I get it. Crying is a calming tactic ponies must use to…” “You do! I knew it, you actually think you are a changeling!” Twilight looked at me, eyes wide with her own revelation. “The way you reference ponies as a separate species!” I’d been caught! I’m doomed! I couldn’t move, my body froze, shivering from the sudden terror that turned my limbs to stone. Fluttershy burst back into tears. “Twilight, please, calm down!” “Really, Fluttershy, uhm...the crying is not helping anymore.” My breathing picked up to near hyperventilation. Twilight turned abruptly, staring at Fluttershy with the same look she had given me, and then yelled out. “Spike! Where is that dragon?” “Eeeyigh! Okay! Im sorry, I’m a changeling! Forgive me!” I shuddered. “Execution by being impaled upon a spike, and fed to a dragon is a bit much don’t you think!?” I wrung my hooves, suddenly too exhausted from the chaos of the day to think clearly. “You ponies are crazy. If you’re going to kill me just get it over with, and stop playing with me!” || Pause || “Wow! He really did. You just came right out an’ said it plain as day!” Applejack voiced what was on everypony’s minds. “Well, I guess ya don’t get much more honest than that.” “Told you! You can always trust Dreamy to be honest.” Pinkie giggled. < Play > Twilight’s head snapped back, eyes growing wide, brow furrowing together, and her voice jumped up an octave. “Relax, nopony is going to harm you. Besides, I have way too many questions to ask!” Her voice jumped up even higher, adding in a giddy little squeal at the end. || Pause || “An’ that’s our princess…” Applejack giggled. Dash guffawed. “Twilight! You totally ignored him like a boss!” “Hay! I was a little bit distracted at that moment. Besides, I had already come to the conclusion that he believed he was a changeling. Why would him admitting it make any difference?” “That I can imagine, but Fluttershy, dear, what were your thoughts at that moment?” Rarity inquired. “Oh, I was very very distraught.” Fluttershy intoned sadly. “Let me fill in the blanks, Fluttershy.” I buzzed happily. Pinkie giggled behind me as my wings tickled her tummy. She resumed her licking. < Play > “It’s soo sad! Mr. Dreams was abu-hu-hused…and now he thinks he’s a changeling!” Fluttershy’s breath caught in her throat, the intensity of the next sob building behind tightly shut eyes. “I know! Isn’t it great!?” Twilight danced in place with, guessing by the flavor of it, elation. “Uhm…” I hesitated, wondering if I had misread the situation. “I was certain you were going to execute me many times earlier today. Though I have to admit, before I passed out and woke up here, the pink one you call Pinkie has by far the most delicious personality I have ever had the pleasure of being strangled by. If you do decide to kill me, I would prefer her methods again.” || Pause || “Aww…” Pinkie continued licking, her tongue making it to my shoulder. The area around my head was beginning to dry. “That’s sweet.” I wondered if this was a bathing ritual. “No silly, you just taste like strawberry frosting!” She chirped. “Uhh… we can’t see you two over there because of the spell. What is Pinkie doing to you.” Twilight inquired. “Well she’s…” “Nothing!” Pinkie giggled. “Nothing at all.” “Actually…” “Shhh!” “Uh…” “Zippit!” “But…” “Shooshy!” “Why?” “Because I’ll stop doing it, silly buggy.” She giggled some more as she continued her covert licking. “Well I wouldn’t want that…” I thrummed happily, ignoring the demands of the others as I went to continue my story. Until it hit me. I caught the thought before it could escape, and shut off the connection to everypony but Pinkie. “Pinkie, you just lied!” “Hmm?” Lick, lick… “You just lied through the channel, you can’t do that!” “Oh, come on, it was just a little one, and I was only teasing.” She giggled. Lick… “No I mean it’s supposed to be impossible. You aren’t even supposed to be able to bend the truth!” “Silly Dreamy, we all have our talents, and right now yours is being covered in sweet sugary frosting.” Lick, lick… “I...but, uhm...eh-al-alright...” I wasn’t sure what to think. She was blatantly breaking the rules of the channel, and subsequently my brain shattered just trying to understand how. I reconnected with the others, and was assaulted from all sides. Questions of where I’d been, what I was talking about, what I was doing, and why I’d shut them all out. It was overwhelming, but Pinkie handled it quite nicely with a little giggle. “Oh, my… I had no idea all of my friends were voyeurs. We could replay the steamy conversation we just had, but I’m not sure any of you could handle it.” “Wait, w-w-w-what?” I stammered. “Shh…” Lick, lick. “You just completely-yeouch!” She bit down on my ear before I could say ‘lied’. “You talk too much! And stop moving! Let me see your leg, I’m super hungry.” The confusion that bombarded me from Pinkie’s friends was almost enough to match my own…and I knew what was going on! < Play > Fluttershy slipped her forelegs around my neck, the gentlest most loving stranglehold I had ever been in. Pinkie was so much rougher, kind of like diamond dogs, except...delicious. “Oh, you poor poor baby.” Fluttershy nuzzled through my mane, and behind an ear. An action I found quite calming, despite being in such a dangerous position with an assassins hooves around my neck. Then the sobbing redoubled. “Nopony is going to harm you. I’ll take care of you.” “I appreciate your efforts to keep me calm. You’re quite good at it.” I smiled nervously. “Also, I appreciate you letting me live.” Twilight’s jaw dropped, her quill scribbling furiously at the paper. Suddenly, I recognised her facial expression! She was confused! Her eyes darted back and forth between myself and Fluttershy, but mostly Fluttershy. I put the different bits together, and memorized that look for future reference. Just in case I made it out of here alive. Fluttershy squeezed tighter as I tensed, wrapping further around me. “This reminds me of cuddle death. I experienced it once, though I would much prefer Fluttershy’s version to being smothered, and crushed by hundreds of my kin. Actually, it dredges up some painfully horrible memories. You wouldn’t mind releasing me, would you?” “Eeek!” Fluttershy released me, and jumped back. She stared at me wide eyed, hooves over her mouth. || Pause || “Smooth Casanova, real smooth!” Dash snickered. “Nothin’ says romance like ‘you remind me of a horrible slow painful death under a bunch of hot sweaty monsters.’” Applejack laughed, Dash swiftly joining her. I could just picture the two of them throwing up a hoof bump. Rarity sighed. The feeling that she really didn’t want to be here came through loud and clear. “Applejack, be a dear and try not to expound upon the already revolting imagery too much?” “Well, in my defense I had just confessed to being a changeling! I kind of expected the next move to be my execution at some point, so I was slightly irritable.” “Well it didn’t take long for Twilight to trick you inta revealin’ that little secret now did it?” Applejack chuckled. “Not the brightest bug, are ya?” “Now girls, remember, he didn’t know any better. We have to look at it sub-ject-ively.” Twilight drew out the last word. I was certain it was aimed at Dash’s earlier misuse of ‘adjectively’. After all, Twilight was very good at word games. Dash picked up on my thought. “You know, I could have figured that out on my own, but after this story, it really pisses me off that you figured it out before me.” Dash growled in my direction. “I didn't mean to think that out loud… but seriously, buck your word games. I don’t care if I’m stupid, I can run circles around both of you eggheads! Heck, Shatter’s too broken to even fly. Makes you pretty useless as a pegasus or a changeling!” Dash paused, the channel silent. “Wow, I’m sorry. That all came out way harsher than I thought it would.” “Yep, this truth speakin’ bites ya in the apples don’t it, R.D.?” Applejack chuckled. “Not the only thing biting you in the apples A.J.? Eh...S.D.? Hehe, like you some apple sauce there, now don’t’cha?” Dash gasped. “Wow! Really didn’t mean to think that!” “Uh-huh…” Applejack deadpanned. I had a feeling she wasn’t amused. “Dang it Shatter, what are ya? Master of the obvious? Yer two bits are more worthless than that perverted pegasus’ sex bits.” “Did you mean six?” Honestly, I was confused. “No, I meant ‘you’re a jackass’/six! Stupid blasted worthless buckin’ truth speakin’ pain in the flank channel can burn in Tartarus! I thought you were good at word games?” “Well, yes. At least when I know I’m playing them. I didn’t know we were playing! Can I try again?” I left it open to interpretation as to how serious I was. “No, I was never... You idiot! Never mind!” Pinkie’s giggles vibrated through my wings. I snuggled back into her, happy I had entertained her, even a little. “Hay? I am still here, and I am not/so perverted! I just can’t keep the thought’s out of my head. Not my fault they keep escaping into this stupid channel.” Dash growled, embarrassment deep rooted in her tone. “Look, I’m tired of covering it up. I don’t/do care what any of you think. I can’t hide my thoughts at all, and I haven’t meant to say most of the things I did. Seriously, I’m really trying to take this all serious, but I can’t help it. So, get off my back, alright?” “It’s because you are very honest and outspoken. If you are capable of hiding your thoughts outside of the channel, you will be much more likely to naturally hide them inside of the channel.” I stopped to think for a second. “I imagine that is why Rarity hasn’t said much, and what she has said is really poignant and controlled.” “Don’t analyze me you vermin!” “Well I could be wrong…” I mentally shrugged off the sting of her words, and sighed out my frustrations as I turned my focus back to the story. “Uhg, I really did look like an idiot. That whole first day was a disaster...” Fluttershy cooed at me. “Aww, cheer up Meester Dweams. At least you were really cute...” She gulped at my irritated silence. “I-I… I’m so sorry.” She meeped. “It’s alright.” I took a deep breath, and prepared to continue. “Mmmm…” Lick, lick, lick. Pinkie giggled. “Sweet frosted creamy-creeaamy Dreamsicle...” “What!?” I facehoofed, a stress relief technique I had picked up from Twilight. “Here we go again…”