"Applebloom! No more!" Sweetie Belle said, as she pried the bottle of fancy drink away from her friend.
Applebloom groaned and reached for it, "Jus' wun mor', Swee'," she slurred. "Ah wunna beat Pinkee..." She lost her balance and fell to the floor. "Oops. Hey, why's everthin' moovin' 'round all swirly-like?"
Sweetie Belle facehooved. She used her magic to grab Applebloom and pull her along on her hunt for Scootaloo.
"Noooo! Swee' Bell', wai' jus' 'nuther secon'. Swee'," Applebloom couldn't even stand, so Sweetie was literally dragging her through crowds of ponies.
"Nope. We've got to find Scootaloo and get out of here! Can't you see what it's doing to you?" Sweetie Belle said, dodging a couch, that curiously held a couple who were lying on it, hugging. Why would they lie down to hug? Sweetie thought, but returned to the task at hoof.
"But, Swee' Bell', tha' stallyun wus gon' show me his special b'nana, an' Ah wunna see it!" Applebloom whined. Sweetie kind of wanted to see it too, just to see if it was, in fact, really special as he had emphasised with his hooves. But, she couldn't stay and wait for some stallion to show her a banana, no matter how special! She had to get her friends home!
"But, Applebloom, if we stay any later our sisters' are gonna kill us!" Sweetie Belle saw an orange and purple streak bound across the room and hoped that it was Scootaloo.
The streak stopped abruptly into a wall, knocking it out. Sweetie rushed over. It was Scootaloo. "No! Oh, please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead," Sweetie said and, taking a bottle of fancy liquid from Applebloom, poured it out onto Scootaloo's head.
"AAAH! RAPE!" Scootaloo jumped up and cried punching the nearest pony -Applebloom- in the face.
"No, Scootaloo! You're not being rapped or whatever the hay you just said," Sweetie Belle said taking yet another bottle of the fancy liquid from Applebloom. Where in the hay are you getting it from, Applebloom?!
Scootaloo jumped up an tried to run off again, but Sweetie grabbed her with her magic before she could get far. To do this, though, she had to let Applebloom go. Well, seeing as how Applebloom's too dizzy to stand, that would be fine for a second. But how in the hay is she supposed to get those two home?!
Sweetie Belle looked around, and saw Pinkie Pie standing at a table not two feet from her current predicament. "Pinkie! I need your help!" Sweetie Belle called, gaining the partier's attention.
"Yea?"She mumbled and yawned. "Oh. Um, hold on just a sec, kay?" Pinkie Pie turned back to the table and smelled a sugar line. That's kinda weird... Pinkie turned around, bouncing. "Yea, yea, yea?!?! Whadya need Sweetie! I got lots of things! I got balloons and cider and a party cannon and-"
Sweetie Belle cut her off before she could continue her rant, "I need some rope, please."
"Yea, yea, yea! I was just getting to that!" Pinkie raced to the back and came back a second later with a braided rope in her mouth. "Here ya go, Sweetie! I was gonna use it for Caramel later, but I'm sure the cuffs will work just as well!" She smiled and bounced away.
"Thanks, Pinkie. I'll see you tomorrow!" Sweetie Belle said while tieing up Scootaloo. She carried the rope in her mouth to guide Scootaloo without her running off, and used her magic to drag Applebloom, so she couldn't get anymore of those stupid, fancy drinks.
Once outside, Sweetie pulled/dragged her fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders towards the center of town.
As the Crusaders headed towards town hall, two police ponies saw them. "Are those foals?!" the mare, Officer Swift Justice, cried.
"Is one tied up?!" the stallion, Officer Gleaming Night, cried.
"We've gotta check this out, Night," Officer Justice said. Night nodded. The partners galloped down the street after the fillies.
Sweetie Belle didn't notice them, until Night yelled,"Stop! In the name of Justice!"
"No, that's my name," Justice said, and stopped at where the fillies were standing/lying.
"You know that's not what I meant." Officer Night stopped next to her.
"But, that's what you said."
"Really, Justice? You want to do this now?"
"Do you wanna do this now?"
"No!"
"Okay then, stop the chit-chat and start arresting some foals! Or I'll have you reported for goofing off on the job!"
"But you- and I- GAH!"
"Really, Night? You wanna do this now?"
Officer Night facehoofed.
"Umm... Hello?" Sweetie Belle said.
"YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR FOALNAPPING! GET ON THE GROUND NOW, DIRTBAG!!!" Officer Night yelled, and brandished his small flashlight threatningly.
"Woah, Night. Calm down. I never told you to arrest some little fillies," Officer Justice said, and bent down to comfort Sweetie Belle who was almost in tears.
"What? But that's EXACTLY what you said!" Officer Night threw his flashlight down in anger.
"That's it. You just need to go cool off, Night! Just get the carriage so we can take these fillies to the station if need be. Yes! Just go!" Justice shooed him away.
As soon as Night got halfway across the street, Justice yelled to him, "Night! What the hay?! You're never supposed to leave your partner alone! These fillies could easily overpower me!" Night turned around and glared at her.
"Fine." His eye twitched. "I'm sitting right here." Night sat down in the middle of the street. "And I'm not moving."
"Suit yourself!" Justice called, and looked down the road.
"AAH!! SONOFAPONY!" Officer Night screamed, as a carriage barreled down the road and hit him.
"Are you gonna help him?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Nah. Look, the stallion that hit him is gonna do it." Officer Justice replied.
The stallion looked at Officer Night, and then Officer Justice before taking off down the road, leaving Night in the street holding his crushed wing.
"Ookay, um... Why don't you just let those other fillies go," Justice told Sweetie Belle. "I'll grab a coach to take y'all down to the station. It's kinda late for fillies your age to be walking around alone."
"HEY! NIGHT! WE DO NEED THAT COACH, AFTER ALL!"
"I'm a little busy, Justice! As you can see, I HAVE A BROKEN WING! But, no, don't concern yourself with getting the coach, or helping me! I'll do it!" Night yelled sarcastically.
"Thanks, Night! You're a real trooper!"
Officer Night's eye twitched, and his mouth fell open. "How did I get stuck with Justice?" He asked himself. Still, he stood up and hobbled over to get the coach.
Sweetie Belle shook Applebloom to grab her attention. "Don' touch meh, Swee', Ah'm mad at ya," Applebloom slurred, and grabbed a bottle of the evil, yet oh-so-fancy liquid from Sweetie Belle's saddlebag. In the process, she knocked it over and Rarity's intricate 'vase' rolled out of it. Justice walked over to look at it, while knocking the bottle out of Applebloom's hoove's.
"Alright, girls, by the looks of ya, I think I need to issue a sobriety test," Officer Justice looked at the fillies, and motioned for them to stand.
Sweetie Belle was able to stand with ease, but Applebloom was barely able to get up off the ground, and when she did, she wobbled as though she was going to fall back down. Scootaloo was too lost in her own world to even hear Justice.
"You first," Officer Justice pointed her hoof at the most stable filly.
"Oh, my name's Sweetie Belle, and that's Applebloom and Scootaloo," Sweetie Belle smiled.
"Alright, just walk in a straight line and turn, Scootie Bloom," Justice watched as Sweetie did just that. The officer nodded, "Ok, ok. Now stand on your back two legs," Sweetie was successfully able to do this for 5 seconds before faceplanting the concrete. "Mmhmm... Count backwards from 20."
"Umm, 20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, err... 15, no, wait... 13! 12, 10-" Sweetie Belle missed a number, though that could have been the result of the concussion she had.
"ERRR!! INCORRECT!!! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! YOU LOSE! YOUR GOING TO JAIL, SCUMBAG!!
"I'm sorry!" Sweetie squeaked, and sank to the ground.
"It's ok, we still have one more test! You may not go to jail, after all!" Justice smiled.
This mare is CRAZY! Sweetie thought. Oh, Celestia, help me! "Oh, um... O-ok..."
Justice pulled a small flashlight from the pocket of her vest and held it in her mouth. "Jus' fowow dee wite wif your eyes," she said. Sweetie really, really didn't want to go to jail, so she did as she was told, keeping her eyes on the light as the officer waved it back and forth. "Alright, you passed..." Justice grumbled, and placed the light back in her vest pocket. I never get to use my nightstick! She thought.
Just then, Officer Night limped up with the police carriage hooked onto him. "Thanks, Night! Now, GET IN THE COACH SAPPLE BELLE!!!" Justice yelled.
Screaming, the brave and bold Sweetie Belle jumped into the carriage, and proceeded to hide under the seat, bravely.
"All right, you-" Justice pointed at Applebloom. "-you're next! C'mon! C'mon! Get up!" She poked the passed out pony.
"Ah jus' wanna..." Applebloom snored.
"C'mon already!"
"But, but, Brayeburn alredee got da, da pants frum da hen house..." Applebloom sat up, and fell back down. "Oops," she sat up again, this time leaning on Scootaloo to support herself. "Wut da buck do ya want? Ah wus tryin' ta, umm.. Ah don' 'member but it wus 'portant! Ah thank... Wus it?"
"Look, kid, I just need ya to walk in a straight line and turn around. Got it?" Officer Justice said. She looked over, and apparently Officer Night had passed out. "Sleepin' on the job, eh? I'll have to have him reported..."
Applebloom somehow managed to stand up, "No!" She stood up on her back legs, and proceeded to fall flat on her back. "Ah will not concede!" she yelled, shaking a hoof in defiance.
Sweetie Belle piped in, "Applebloom, just do it, or I'll blame our current disaster on you instead of Scootaloo!"
Standing up and shaking herself off, Applebloom said, "Ah don' wunna! Ah will not concede!" she stumbled forward and turned around to look at Officer Justice. "Ah won' do wut Ah jus' did for you. So, ha!" She stuck her tongue out at her.
"Umm... okay? I need you stand on your back legs, now," Justice ordered.
"NEVER!!"
"Ok," Justice grabbed out her nightstick, and hit Applebloom on the head with it. "Don' dis da p'lice!" she shouted, her mouth full of nightstick.
"Ok, ok! Ah'm sorry!" Applebloom had fallen to the ground and was covering her head.
"Good!" Justice placed her nightstick back into its holster. "Now, stand on your back legs for as long as you can." Applebloom stood up on her back legs, for maybe half a second, before falling flat on her back, again. Justice sighed, "Alright, count backwards from 20."
"Umm... 20, 19, b, c, q, um.. orange, 4, w, 7, 8, a, tree, 5, 4, 3, 2, x, y, and z, now Ah know mah 1BD's, next time won't ya sang wit meeeee!" Applebloom sang.
Justice facehooved. "Alright, just, keep your eyes on the light." Justice pulled the small flashlight from earlier back out. She had to lean over Applebloom to shine it into her eyes, because Applebloom wouldn't stand back up. Justice waved the flashlight back and forth, but Applebloom just closed her eyes."Open your eyes, kid!" She opened them, but still couldn't follow the light.
"Alright, you're clearly intoxicated, so just get in," Officer Justice pointed to the carriage. Applebloom got up and stumbled in. "Now for the last one."
Scootaloo had been strolling around staring at different things, and laughing. "Hey, kid!" Justice didn't even ask her to walk in a line, she just shone her flashlight into Scoot's eyes. Scootaloo's pupils were huge, and Justice quickly decided that she was also intoxicated, and tried to push her towards the carriage. "C'mon, kid! Just... Move..." she couldn't get Scootaloo to budge. Sighing, Justice tried to think of how to get the filly into the carriage.
"Oh, wow... Rainbow Dash..." Scootaloo mumbled, a goofy smile on her face.
"Hey, look! Rainbow Dash is in the back of that police coach!" Justice shouted and pointed towards it.
"RAINBOW DASH!" Scootaloo jumped in, flying over her friends and hitting the opposite door. Quickly, Justice closed the door behind her.
Officer Justice jumped into the front seat of the coach, waking up Night. "Hey, Night! Listen, for sleepin' on the job, you're required to pull the coach back to the station. Enjoy!" Justice got comfortable for the trip back to the police station. "Justice has been served," she whispered to herself.