I'm so hungy; I could eat a Hor.... whore's fetus! Yep, a whore's fetus!
“There,” I announced with a frown, holding a claw out to indicate Judgement as we entered the clearing. Sunset was giddy from the hooves up as she zoomed up and all around my ship, touching every surface with reckless abandon. The glass marking the window for my ship was heavily violated by her face. “Welcome to your first experience with an alien space ship. Please keep all parts of your body away from the space-faring method of transportation.”
Her face peeled off my windshield with the sound of peeling velcro, making me wince at the sheer cartoonish quality this world had. “Are you kidding me!? This is the best day of my life! Not only did I get to meet an alien, but now I’m in the presence of what could possibly be the biggest scientific breakthrough ever! I have spent my entire life awaiting a day like this; so if you think I’m going to move from this magnificent specimen of advance technology, then you have another thing-”
“Prepare to activate defense turrets...” I sighed out, watching as Sunset’s eyes bugged out as she teleported off the front end of my ship. There was another popping sound next to me, displaying and projecting her arrival with a bright flash of white.
“That was horribly rude! I hope you realize my life could have ended right there!,” Sunset snapped as she poked me in my hip with her horn.
“Ow! Stop that! Bah,” I barked, quite fed up with her actions as I gripped her horn with my claw. “Calm down, Sunset Satan! You wanna enter my ship or not!?” I showcased most of my teeth as I snarled at her. Many people would’ve eaten her by now, or told her to fuck off at least. “The same could be said about myself, but come on; who want’s to hear anything about little ol’ me anyway, right? It’s not like I wasn’t an unbearable ass back there.”
“Please and thank you,” Sunset asked with a sheepish grin. I sighed in exasperation and released her horn.
“Siri, I’m home. It’s been a long two hours or so, huh,” I asked rhetorically as the little pink hologram floated out from my left eye. She was digging up her nostril with a finger while wearing a bored expression, flicking hologram booger-dust into the air after a moment of excavation.
“Oh goody; we’re finally back at Judgement. The best part about our little adventure was finding that blasted bird. What did you name her again... nah, don’t tell me. I’ll just check your memory banks with the Sirios Unit while you sleep tonight.” Siri was now doing a lazy backstroke through the air, circling my head slowly but surely as I followed her with my eyes.
“Cease your shenanigans and open the door, please. It’s been a long day.” I crossed my arms as I waited for a witty response; the kind Siri is wont to give when asked anything by me.
“It’s sensor-activated, dickhead. I don’t have to open it, so there!” She stuck her tongue out at me, earning herself a sigh from my mouth as I opened it wide just as she came around again. Snapping it closed around her tiny frame was easy to say the least, and it’s intended effects were immediate. “Gah! Open your mout- HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE PUTTING THAT THING!”
I slammed her against the side of my cheek with my tongue, then used the tip to tickle her. “Hey! Hahahah! Knock it- pffft- knock it off!” Many more sentences like this came out from between my lips as I continued my assault undeterred.
That is, until I was blasted in the gut with some heavy and fast; which caused me to spit out my captive and double over. I fell to my knees, gasping for air as I looked up at my would-be assaulter.
“She is a construct of advanced technology; a sapient piece of equipment! She is not a toy to be played with, but an integral part to your survival. Start treating her like it, Silas!” Sunset loomed over me again, but I had just enough of her aggression streak. “Furthermore, I should tell you tha- EEP!”
I yanked her down by her front legs, shooting around to her side all the while. Pushing my weight against her side, the pony had no choice but to fall over into the dirt as I pinned her down. She was on her side, staring up at me with wide eyes as I smiled smugly at her.
“Rawr, goes the hungry dragon~,” I mocked with a chuckle, biting her ear for good measure before picking myself up and dusting off. Dirt from this planet made it a habitual thing to stick to any surface it could, apparently. Makes me wonder how Sunset Shimmer looks so flawless as her horn gathers blue energy like that.
Wait.
I didn’t even have time to react. That ray winded me as I was sent flying back, landing on my back roughly and skidding a couple of feet. A pathetic groan left my mouth as tiny purple dragons with gold horns flew around my head, a yellow light flanking the images as they did so.
Sunset’s face came into view not even two seconds later, smiling down at me as she inspected her hoof cockily. “I think that oughta teach you who has the biggest horn here, no? Hehe, I still got it!”
And that was as far as she got before my legs wrapped around her midsection and shoved her towards me. I caught her horn with my claw and opened my maw wide, showcasing all my teeth for her eyes to see as I held her head up by her horn. I felt her shiver from the neck down, completely transfixed on the inside of my gaping maw.
Sweat formed on her brow as the moment dragged on, and I had to try with all my fucking might not to start dying of laughter on the spot. “Silas...? You can stop now; I’m getting kinda scared...” Sunset mewled, completely fear-locked in place.
Smiling somehow, I slowly eased my tongue out and let it flop on her snout. With a wet smack, I knew the saliva-drenched appendage had found its mark. Another shiver was my reward, which also prompted me to start moving my tongue around her face. It brushed against her cheeks, the corners of her mouth, and the space between her eyes before I retracted it slowly.
“What’s wrong, buttercup? Can’t use your magic while my claws holding your horn?” My voice was laced with mockery as I held her head up more, exposing her neck to me.
“Haven’t you had your fun, jerk? Let me go!” Sunset started making grunts and huffs of effort as she tried getting away, but I felt as though proper payback hasn’t been dealt. So, I bent forwards and bit her neck.
“No! Not there- Ah!”
I paused for a moment, looking up at her face as it exploded into a million shades of red at once.
“Y-you’re so dead for this! If I could just- AH! Don’t move your tongue, idiot,” She roared, trying her best to look angry but failing miserably. I disengaged my mouth quickly, looking at her with a raised brow.
“The neck? That’s one of your erogenous zones,” I asked with a smug smile. She shifted her eyes away from mine as a response, giving a sharp huff as well. “I believe I asked you a question~...”
“Yeah, it’s not like I’m here or anything. Quite done with your baby momma, lover boy?” I stiffened up and quickly pulled myself away from Sunset, scrambling to my feet while making my way over to Judgement as if that whole situation didn’t just happen.
“Hey, Romeo; you’re forgetting your main squeeze! You can’t just leave a flustered and embarrassed damsel in the middle of the woods; that’s how witches are made,” Siri continued. As I reached the door to Judgement, I quickly found out that it was locked. Another action I deduced to be the work of one small and pink annoyance. “Yep, us girls gotta stick together! So how about a little game~?”
I slowly turned my head around to see Sunset Shimmer standing up with her legs spread out by inches, taking up a defensive stance. Her head was lowered, and her mane only served to block off her eyes even more than the shading around them.
“On the count of whenever-the-fuck-I-feel-like-it, I’m going to sick my new friend on you. Of course, I’ll also be opening the door to Judgement. So here are your options, Champ,” Siri enthused with a sick smile on her face. “You can either sit there and take whatever means of revenge Sunset has in store for you; or you can run and have the same thing happen. I should warn you though; picking the second option could come back to haunt you~,” She singsonged, floating down to pet Sunset on the head.
I nearly screamed like a little girl when the touch caused her head to snap up with the sound of all her spinal disks breaking at once. She was expelling white clouds of mist from her nose like a cartoon bull, and her light-blue eyes were almost feral in appearance as she scraped the ground with a hoof.
“One... Two... wait,” Siri stopped, causing my heart to nearly leap out of my anus and make a run for it. That same sick smile of hers got even more nauseating as she glared at me. “A riddle, before you perish at the hands of an overly-embarrassed mare~! ‘I run on coal, and my path is always straight. Try to stop me, only to find no brakes.’ What am I?”
I froze up. If I answered this correctly, chances are, she’d let me go. I can’t afford to mess. This. Up.
“Uhhh.... a train! That’s it! Woo! In your face, robot!” I danced a little dance at my success. The answer was so obvious, it’d be stupid to think it as anything else. No other machine that I know of still runs on coal to this day and age!
“Not a bad guess.” I stopped my cabbage-patch prematurely. My eyes slowly traveled back over to Siri as she held a pink claw up to her mouth in order to conceal a snicker. “You said train, but trains have breaks, dumbass. There is one type of train, however, that doesn’t need them~~!” I gulped and placed my back against the door of Judgement.
“A-and what kind of t-train is that,” I asked with a little bit of fear as Siri placed her middle finger and thumb together. My eyes never left the hologram as she spoke the words that sealed my fate to the hooves of an angry mare.
“I believe you’ll make the connection after she gets ahold of you... CHAMP!” Her fingers snapped apart, and that’s all it took for Sunset to charge me with a roar of rage. I turned around and started to beat on Judgement’s door, but it wouldn’t open for me no matter how hard I hit it. I even tried sliding my fingers underneath and lifting, but there was no luck in my endeavors to escape.
By this time, I realized that any attempt at actually running away was pointless; for most of my time was spent up in trying to get the fucking door to open. But alas; some of us are doomed not only to the short end of the stick, but it also happens to have rose vines around it.
The door opened at long last, and just as I got a foot in I was hit by Sunset in the back her shoulder; which sent us both into the confines of my ship quickly. I heard the door shut behind me and the faded voice of Siri through it as Sunset hovered over my face so that our mouths barely touched each other’s.
“Remember to play nice, kiddies! I’m just gonna be watching and recording from the ceiling~!”
Sunset lowered her muzzled near my ear as she breathed out, “It’s my turn...”
My thumb never relaxed me so well in my life as I sucked on it from the safety of my corner; Sunset digging holes through my will with her ice-cold gaze from my chair. “Did we learn our lesson?”
I clapped twice on reflex, just like she had taught me to do while my spine played whack-a-mole with my femurs. The pain was unbearable, and got her the results she wanted almost instantly. I had no idea the Draconian body was so flexible.
“Good boy. Now who am I?” She raised her eyebrow after that. I froze up, not really wanting to call her such a demeaning name. Sensing my apprehension to her demand, Sunset ignited her horn again; making me cry out in fear while rocking back and forth.
“It’s-gonna-be-fine-It’s-gonna-be-fine...” I repeated the mantra I had taught myself during my minutes-long torture session.
“Say it,” She hissed.
I stopped moving. “... Mama Shimmy.”
Sunset smiled warmly, jumping off my chair and then making her way over to me. I shrunk back further into my corner as she approached, letting out a whine of fear as her muzzle brushed the side of my head. “And who are you, hmmm?”
“S... S...” I struggled, my pride as a man barely hanging on.
“Don’t make me do this again, Silas! Who. Are. You?”
“.... Shitface McButtsniffer! I’m sorry!”
“He won’t be back until the night has fallen, Siri. Enjoy the rest of your day,” Sunset yelled back at Judgement as she dragged me with her magic by my mane. I was sitting in the dirt again with my arms crossed, allowing myself to be dragged along. At any given time, I could easily flip the tables now that Siri isn’t here to interrupt us, but I don’t want to right now.
“Not after all that shit I went through to finally get this day rolling again, no sirree Bob!” For all her threatening and bending, Sunset was actually pretty laidback. She seems to have mellowed out some after I showed her the Command Bridge and shit. Even so, I’m just going to go ahead and call this little game of ‘Dominance’ a thing now; putting us as even should be alright as well.
“She won’t be so gung-ho when I figure out how to use magic! Actually, screw magic; I just wanna learn about the Hearth’s Fire! Magic sounds way too OP in terms of combat, and mages- unless defense-based -have jaws of glass!” I cleared my throat in approaching annoyance, getting the train of indifference known as Sunset Shimmer to pull on the brakes.
“I have two legs, y’know; there’s nothing wrong with them either. Pretty sure I’m capable of walking now,” I said with an exhale of boredom. Sunset looked over her shoulder, giving me an analytical eye of askance.
“And you won’t run off? Excuse me if I see that as false, Silas; you’re too much of a loose cannon and have a knack for doing the unexpected. This is a precautionary method of travel, you see.” Sunset gave me a small smile of victory, which I returned with a roll of my eyes.
“Loose cannon? Knack? You just met me today, woman! How do you know my mannerisms!? Maybe I just choose to mess with you because you’re the first person I’ve met; couldn’t that be a possibility,” I asked in half-irritation, the other half coming from... something else I’m having trouble in describing. It’s that feeling you get when you’re fed-up at something, but don’t really care at the same time, I think.
Sunset sucked in a large breath of air. “So if it wasn’t me that met you first; you would’ve acted differently towards me?” Her question was made in a way that indicated a subtle meaning to it.
“What,” I responded in disbelief. “Of course I wouldn’t! You’re the only person on this planet I met; and so far, the only one that didn’t label me as a freak! I’m acting this way around you, because unlike some others I may run into; you’ve shown me that not everyone out there falls within the parameter of fearing the unknown! You’re my...” I trailed off, putting a claw to my chin in order to help ponder what Sunset Shimmer is to me.
“Friend would be a little forward, and she might not like that brash a term so early. Ahhh! But calling her an acquaintance would be just as rough, because I’ve already done things to her that a normal acquaintance should never experience!” I closed my eyes and thought harder, almost feeling my temples whistle out in harm as I did.
Sunset turned her whole body, using her horn to turn mine around as well. Her eyes were narrowed down into ravines of challenge, peering through my weak and shameful sheepish smile. “Well come on; don’t keep a lady waiting now.” She seemed to be almost jubilant in tone, but her face spun a different campfire fable altogether. How she was able to be so seamlessly two-faced frightened me somewhat.
Now that I had not the comfort of having my face unsupervised, this made the delivery of my next few words all the more awkward. “... I guess... you’re a friend?”
“There! I said it! If she takes this negatively, I’ll have enough spaghetti out of us to open an italian restaurant! And why did I say ‘friend’ in the first place!? If anything, we’re rivals in our little game of dominance! I know nothing about her; nothing,” I inwardly panicked while keeping the same sheepish smile aimed at her.
Her left eye twitched somewhat while I noticed a faint pink underneath her left ear. I don’t know what it could have been, but it became the center of my attention; which means it should work in a way that she won’t notice I’m avoiding eye-to-eye contact. “And why is that? Excluding what you said earlier; how have you come to the decision that you want my camaraderie?” She phrased this question like the ones on Judgement; that I had no choice but to answer them.
“... You’re not boring and you smell nice?” I winced when her head jerked back, knowing I had fucked up. Sunset lowered her head back down to my face after a couple of seconds, staring me dead in the eyeball with a face so angry, she could melt the soul of Satan himself.
“What did I say about the smell thing, Silas,” She warned.
“Well I tried to ignore it! Honest! It just got stronger when you were dragging me so close to your-”
There has been many times where I was sent airborne. Once, I was rear-ended by an angry motorist back in my hometown of Chester. The hit was hard enough to catapult me off my Mongoose, and send me into the highway underneath an SUV and a Mack truck. Thankfully, I had the common sense to lie flat on the ground until the vehicles passed by.
I beat the living shit out of the guy that rear-ended me that day when he came over to check on me. The act was made funnier by the fact that his little twerps were in the back of his van, bawling their eyes out as I beat him senseless for almost killing me.
But here? Right now? This shit was scary.
Not only was Sunset holding me suspended in the air with magic; she had the nerve to do it so that I was upside down. And it wasn’t like I was only five or so feet in the air either; I was above the fucking treeline!
“STOP! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN,” I yelled out in panic, swinging my arms to an fro. Sunset saw fit to let out a girly shriek and shake me up and down.
“What is wrong with you!? Do the men on Earth find a situation like this funny or something!? How could you even try to say that, idiot!? I should drop you right here!” Sunset was shaking her head back and forth quickly, which caused me to shake back and forth as well. Couple that fact with the knowledge of being suspended at least forty feet in the air...
“I’M SORRY AGAIN! I’M SORRY AGAIN! PLEASE PUT ME DOWN! I WON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR FRUITY FARTS AGAIN; I SWEAR!” In the midst of my horrified screaming, my shaking-about session stopped. My breathing slowly started to regulate as I was lowered ever-so-slowly to the ground.
Seeing my earthen salvation close at hand- er- claw; I reached just that appendage out as the last couple of feet remained of my descent. However, I was not expecting to suddenly impact the ground at a fast enough speed to not be caused by a sudden drop. It was then that I figured out what happened.
Slowly peeling my face off the ground, spitting dirt and debris out all the while; I peered up at the mare responsible for my mud facial. “Owwwww...” I shouted angrily, right before I was hoisted back up into the air and slammed back down.
“Stupid! Idiot! Just! Die! Already,” Sunset commanded in parts, each word signalling another slam in the ground. It hurt to have my snout hit so much, but the pain wasn’t enough to be life-threatening. There was no doubt that I was going to be sore later, though.
It took two more slams before she deemed her message as accepted, and in those two slams; I found myself groaning in pain. My snout felt like someone decided to build a replica of a hammer inside it. “Ow~,” I whined. “What the fu~ck!? I know the exclamation was childish, but damn it all, Shimmer! You didn’t have to blow your stack!” I shook my head rapidly, ejecting some straggling pieces of dirt, twigs, and leaves.
Sunset pressed her snout into mine, making me wince as she glared. “You understand nothing! Drop the smell thing at once, or SO help me Celestia; I will toss you into the stratosphere, idiot!” Her breaths were hard, like the muscles of a bodybuilder as he flexed for the interested eyes of his peers inside the gym.
I gave her another sheepish grin. “Consider it dropped? Any way you’ll forgive me?” Sunset flinched back at my question, adopting a face of disgust as she pointed at something near my mouth.
“You have a worm between your teeth. Do something about it, please,” Sunset said in repulsion, before her face went even further south into nausea as I began chewing. “EUGH! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” Before she could say anything else, I swallowed the chicken-tasting bug.
Both her hooves went to her mouth as her cheeks adopted a green tone to them. She retched once or twice, making her way over to some nearby shrubs. Sunset proceeded to empty everything but her pelvis into the bushes, making me smile in victory as I held out my tongue and lifted it up.
Silently, I took my claw and scraped out the still-alive worm; placing it back into the me-shaped crater Sunset made and then standing up while dusting myself clean. In between each bout of regurgitation, Sunset would give a moan of discomfort.
I walked over to her upchucking form, rubbing her back smoothly as she continued unhindered. This went on for another minute or so, leaving me completely bored by the time she finished up. “That was... haah... revolting,” Sunset spat into the bush, before looking back at me with a scowl. “Why do I put up with you? Really; you are disgusting, tactless, and an ass.”
“You’re flattering me, miss,” I snarked with a smug smile, placing a finger on her horn and prodding the tip. “You should really learn how to unwind sometime; it’ll help relieve stress.” I kept rocking her head back and forth by pushing on her horn, causing the mare to lock up and freeze.
The blush came back full force, as did her loss of breath. “Stop that, please!” Sunset moved her head away before I could try to do it harder, just to spite her. “We’re near my home, you smell like a barnyard, and I’m hungry. Save the stupid antics for when we’re inside, hmm?” Rolling her eyes, Sunset Shimmer moved out of my touching range and started back down the ‘path’ to her house.
I chuckled to myself and followed after her; my scaled-feet thumping upon the soft earth loudly as her hooves clopped softly. My gait was a little awkward, as I was still disoriented from her little slamming streak. The area on the outskirts of my vision were blurred still, causing me to shake my head about in order to clear it up.
“Again; what are you doing,” Sunset asked in weariness as we cleared some shrubs and stepped out into another clearing. I didn’t answer her, for my eyes fell upon a scene that should’ve been reserved for a Disney Princess.
Wildflowers of dark colors offered praises towards the evening sun as we stepped onto a dirt path, leading up to a set of three wooden steps. These same steps led onto the long porch of a log cabin, made from some type of dark-brown wood. The house itself was rather tall for her, sitting at ten feet almost. Four windows carved into the otherwise solid frame gave the wooden construction a means of sight.
It reminded me of my father’s feed trailer in the countryside.
“Not bad, Sunset,” I said appreciatively of her house, our separate bodies making their ways up the steps and onto the porch. The mare in question opened her front door with magic... which seemed to be the only way considering the lack of a handle or knob thereof. “You built all this yourself?”
“No,” she responded simply. “I enlisted the help of Jack’s- the minotaur you saw earlier? - father, who happens to own the largest lumber farm corporation in Bullivia.” Sunset turned off to the right, drawing my attention as she stepped to the side of a round counter made of the same dark-brown wood of her house, only polished up to give it a shiny appearance.
This counter gave way to an onslaught of tan tile, which looked surprisingly well-mopped from my vantage point. A series of brown cabinets were bolted down pretty sneakily to her ceiling, providing a type of rural kitchen area. The brown table in the middle of the room and the black refrigerator near the back completed the trailer-like appearance of her house’s interior.
“Yeah,” I asked, my curiosity mildly drawn. “And what’s his name?” My eyes fell upon her living room area, which had tan carpet like her kitchen had tan tiles; where another dark-brown table was the dominant focus. What she calls a living room table; I could call a footstool, however.
The sound of dishes being drawn out and such racket filled the air, making me remember the time I was bumbling around with grabbing kitchenware for guests during my school’s homecoming. “Lumber. Make yourself at home, but don’t get too comfortable. There’s a bath in your future, mister!”
Frowning at the way she addressed me as a child, I pulled off my jacket and hung it up on the coat-stand next to the door, which had multiple arms like a freakish, gold-colored cactus. The article of outerwear draped itself over the first rung lazily, almost sighing into its embrace as my eyes traveled down to my pants.
“I don’t remember them being this dirty. Ah, but dare I take them off!? Sure, it’s not like my dick’ll just hang out, but it’s the thought that counts! But then again, she walks around in the buff with not but a single tail to keep herself decent!” This new line of thinking caused me to blush. “It’d be rude to sit on her furniture while dirty, but it’ll be perverted to strip down inside a woman’s house without her permission! This isn’t some wacky-ass anime; this is real life!”
“Hey,” Sunset called out worriedly, making me jump with a quiet yell of surprise. “I hope you weren’t thinking about sitting on my recently cleaned couches with them dirty pants! Just what kind of house do you think I run? Take them off.” She raised a hoof and pointed at my last line of moral defense.
“.... But then I’ll be naked,” I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world; as if she was not only insulting my intelligence, but her’s as well. “A man would be naked in your home. Granted, it would be because you gave permission, but still...”
“Take. It. Off.” Sunset glared at me far harder than I would’ve like, but i complied nonetheless. The pants came off easy enough, seeing as how I was getting used to my new pair of legs quickly. I slung my pants over my jacket, holding Zaelstrom with its sheath inside my right hand. The other was over my crotch, just to let you know.
Sunset, for the most part as she walked out from around the counter, gave me a raised eyebrow. “I’m naked too, you know,” She sassed, rolling her eyes and sitting down upon a dark-brown love seat made out of what appeared to be leather. A tray with two teacups, a kettle, and some rice crackers on top of a white doily floated down onto the table with the aid of her light-blue magic.
“Yeah, but it’s diff- Aaa screw it!” I gave up in trying to convince her otherwise, setting Zaelstrom down by the door and making my way over to the long couch next to her love seat. Sitting down while offering a pleased sigh at the pleasant textures of both soft carpet and sofa. “Now this feels good, Shimms’,” I sighed, relaxing even more as the smell of green tea wafted into my nose.
I then sighed deeply as the doily from the tray hit me in the face. “I thought I said not to get comfortable, Silas,” Sunset remarked snootily as I shoved the offending piece of smooth cloth from my face. “What is your real name, by the way? Silas sounds too refined for someone of your... out-there nature.”
Frowning at basically being called a ruffian, I sat up and pinched the bridge of my snout. “Since you’ve let me inside your house, and have done things to me that shouldn’t be allowed to leave the sanctity of our minds and mouths; I guess there’s no harm in telling you. Justin is my name; please don’t tell anyone else, since I don’t know anyone else.” It was here that a big stretch came over my body once more, making me flex every muscle in my upper torso mightily.
“So tell me about yourself,” I sighed, coming off of my stretching-induced high. Looking down at Sunset, I immediately took notice of her blushing face; which she quickly turned to the side and inhaled a large amount of tea into her mouth.
Realizing that the drink was fairly hot, Sunset appropriately spat some of it out with a wet sputter. She coughed once or twice and then looked at me. “Why do you want to know?”
I gave her the “are you fucking kidding me” face. “I’m on your couch, butt-naked. I was in a position to give you a hickey in the woods. I just called you my friend. Why would I not want to learn about you, Sunset?”
She stared at me, her blush never going away. Lifting the white teacup to her mouth, Sunset took a shallow sip in an attempt to quell the fire in her cheeks. “I will never know what has her so fucking flummoxed all the time. She might be acting like seeing me naked is no big deal, however; when actually seeing me this way is rather flustering for her.”
“It’s only fair,” I leaned forwards more, placing my claws on both sides of my face and putting my elbows on top of my knees. “I told you my real name; something no one else is going to hear. That should tell you something, Sunset. I trust you with information no one else will ever know about me because... well... you and I just kinda clicked, I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders and stood up.
“I have no problem in telling you about my past; and the fact that you found little old me to be of great import to impart such personal information on has made me...” She rubbed her forehooves together in unsurety, offering me a sheepish smile all the while “... happy. But why don’t you want to sit down and listen?”
“Because I stink,” I responded quickly, placing a smile on my features as I headed for the hallway next to the door. “I’ll hear all about you when I get out of the shower,” I paused right by the hallway entrance, turning my head to look at from over my shoulder. Seeing as how I snapped my head too fast, I could make out Sunset staring at me a little south from where the Line of Creeper is drawn. “I’m not too familiar with the etiquette of Equisians, you see. Maybe a joint wash will do you some good in alleviating that rush of color to your face?”
“Go take your shower, moron! Down the hall, second door to the left!” She huffed and turned her head.
Shrugging my shoulders, I made my way down the hall and through the door she had indicated. Closing it behind me, the bathroom laid its sanitary body before my eyes. Everything was white, save for the shower curtain which was a lifeless-tan. “It’s really clean in here, but a little on the small side. Just stepping into the place put me right in front of the toilet, and has me pass the sink,” I thought with a chin rub.
Turning towards the shower, I slid the curtain back and stepped in. This was the time I realized an earth-shattering revelation... I’m tall. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem back on Earth. Here?
This shit was ridiculous.
My head peeked over the shower bar; even having the audacity to scrape against the ceiling a little bit with every little motion I made to get comfortable. Length of the tub? Forget about it. There was no length, considering it was made for the comfort of a pony. There was room to move around, yeah, but it was overshadowed by the blatant fact that I could clear the entire distance with a step forwards and backwards.
My wings did not make anything easier as well. “Keeps getting better and better, huh? Tall bodies are a hassle, yeah; but tall bodies with wings? This shit is ridiculous!” I frowned and turned around, pulling up the silver knob thing most showers seem to have up with my index finger and thumb, before turning on the hot water.
I moved back as I am wont to do when taking showers, fearing the Spritz of Antarctica; the name I gave the first few minutes of water flow from the showerhead, which were always below zero.
The water came out and dropped onto my feet, making me grimace as the Spritz still found its mark. “Fucking hell. This shit is too cold. That should be the next breakthrough invention; ready-warr showering water. Someone could make a fucking killing.” Eventually, my frown went away as the water heated up. I smiled and entered it’s embrace, whistling a merry tune as I found Sunset’s soap and shampoo.
“Welp; let’s get squeaky.”