What did I just say
By: Mr Apathy
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“Oh, it’s just terrible! Horrible! Terribly horrible!”
Twilight Sparkle fought back the urge to sigh. Rarity had called her over to Carousel Boutique, insisting that whatever matter she needed help with “simply could not be heard by the public ear”, as she put it. And just what was so terribly horrible that they needed to meet in private?
“Rarity, it’s just two pounds…”
A meager dietary slip-up. It wasn’t that the princess didn’t sympathize with her friend. As a fellow perfectionist, she knew all too well just how frustrating it could be to pour all her energy into keeping everything just so, only to have one rebellious hair refuse to stay in place.
Even so, making a mini-crisis out of a two-pound weight gain seemed a bit silly.
“Besides,” Twilight continued, “it’s not even noticeable.”
“Yes, darling, I know,” Rarity huffed, “but that’s always how it starts out! First two, then ten, then fifteen, and it just never stops! And it all goes straight to my rump and thighs, too!”
“Huh?” Twilight raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
The unicorn blushed and quickly looked away. “W-well, I… That is… You see…” She sighed. “Promise to keep this a secret? Please?”
Twilight nodded. “Of course.”
“Do you swear?”
“Definitely.”
“Do you Pinkie swear?”
The alicorn rolled her eyes, but obliged all the same. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Rarity smiled. “Thank you, dear. Well, during my college years, ah… let’s just say I wasn’t as well versed in dieting techniques as I am now.”
“’Not as well versed in--‘” Twilight’s eyes widened in realization. “You mean you were a victim of the Freshmen Fifteen?”
“Yes.” Rarity blushed. “I still haven’t forgiven myself for how careless I was back then. It took my entire stay at Manehattan University to shave off all those pounds!”
“At least you know better now, right?”
“True enough, I suppose…”
The alicorn smiled. “Besides, I bet through thick or thin, your butt will stay as perfect as ever!”
It was only after the words left her mouth that Twilight realized her mistake.
What did I just say?!
The two mares stared at each other, Twilight in mortified horror, and Rarity… she was shocked, obviously, but it was hard to tell beyond that. Silence reigned, and the tension in the air was so thick it was practically visible. Twilight’s eyes darted around Rarity’s workroom, as if looking for something she could use to change the subject.
Sadly, the boutique wasn’t feeling particularly generous that day.
After what felt like an eternity of awkwardness, Rarity was the one to finally find her voice.
“Err… Thank you. That’s very, ah…” The unicorn cleared her throat. “Would you care for a drink? Some tea or water, perhaps?”
“Huh? Oh! Sure! Yes, water sounds great, thanks!” Twilight hurried past Rarity out the door.
“And Twilight?”
She stopped dead in her tracks. Slowly, and with no small amount of apprehension, she turned to look her friend in the eyes.
“Yes?” she asked.
“… I like your rump, too.”
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