Perception

by Valen

Chapter 6: Mortality

I woke up to the chirping of birds. I groaned as I got up, stretching my back and shaking my head. I rubbed my eyes a little and looked around me. The sunlight reflected off the lake, giving it an almost magical look. I could see small fish swimming around just beneath the surface. The rest of the clearing around me looked just as it had the night before, but brighter.

I glanced back at Obelisk. It hadn’t changed. I didn’t really expect anything different, but still. A yawn sounded from nearby as Sweetie Belle awoke. I watched as she stretched out, her messy mane shimmering in the light. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I felt my eyes moving down to examine her… cutie mark. Yes. Cutie mark. The heart and notes. Nothing else. Nope.

I shook my head again, dispelling less-than-appropriate thoughts. Seriously, Scootaloo? Not the time for this! When had I even started thinking like that? What had happened? What changed?

“Scootaloo, you okay? You look thoughtful.” I glanced back at the gorgeous mare, and felt the heat returning.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah I’m cool, really cool. Very, incredibly cool.” What the heck? She raised an eyebrow, and I grinned.

“You sure?” I nodded vigorously, and she seemed to accept it. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” Good, a distraction. I glanced up at the sky, the sun was already pretty high.

“It looks like it’s past midday, maybe two?” Jeez, we’ve been here awhile. Guess I really was tired. Maybe I should try and actually sleep more...

“Hm, well we’d better get back to Ponyville. I need to check up on the house. I have this awful feeling that It burned down while we were out, and I’m sure Alula would like to tell you when you start work.” I nodded at that, and began to wash my face in the lake. It had been a while since I’d been able to take a shower, and I really wanted to cool myself down. Once my head resurfaced I glanced back at Sweetie.

“Hey, Sweetie, where do you work?” I asked. I really had no idea.

“Oh, I work part-time as a nurse in the hospital. I’ve been given leave recently due to… well, you know. Anyway, aside from that I do a bit of singing but it’s really hard to find work in the music industry.” I nodded, having heard that from many people. This one griffon back in Las Pegasus had apparently also been a pianist, but couldn’t get a job anywhere, so was stuck in the warehouse guarding crates nopony gave a damn about.

“Huh, nurse work. I don’t know why, but I always pegged you as doing something like that.” Sweetie raised an eyebrow gesturing with a hoof for me to continue. “It’s like you always want to help everypony, so there’s really no better thing for you to do. Aside from singing of course.”

“Well, thanks,” Sweetie said, smiling. “Anyway, come on, let’s get moving. Would you be okay with flying me or…?” I shook my head.

“No, no. I’m fine. I can’t really move on if I don’t start using these things again,” I replied, spreading my wings.

“Alright, well are we ready?” she asked. I nodded and with a kick, jumped into the sky. I flew forward, grabbing Sweetie Belle in my forelegs, then we were off, soaring up into the sky again. We blasted through the canopy and levelled out. Ponyville stood in the distance.

I smiled. I had forgotten how incredible it felt to be up in the air. Yesterday my mind had been fogged up with worries, but today felt far clearer. I could really appreciate the wind in my face. It had been too long since I had used my wings, far too long.

It wasn’t long before we touched down near Sweetie Belle’s house. Sweetie gasped again as we touched down. She still hadn’t gotten over how awesome flying was. I walked up to the door as she steadied herself on one of the posts. Just as I was about to open it, I noticed a piece of paper attached to it. Cautiously, I retrieved the note and brought it over to Sweetie.

“What does it say?” she asked. I rolled my eyes, waving around my head to point out that the note was in my mouth. “Right, sorry,” she chuckled awkwardly, taking it into her aura.. She cleared her throat and began to read.

“Miss S. Belle.

I came to fetch you earlier, but you were not available. Please visit the hospital as soon as possible, there has been a development with Apple Bloom. Also, if you know where Miss Scootaloo is currently staying, bring her too.

Nurse Redheart.”

My eyes widened as Sweetie read. “Do… do you think that she’s…?” I left the sentence hanging, unable to speak those awful words.

Sweetie Belle grimaced. “I don’t know, but we better go find out. Come on.”

We arrived at the hospital within twenty minutes. My heart was thumping in my chest. I couldn’t stop thinking over the possibility that my friend might be dead. Sweetie Belle walked ahead of me, pushing open the double-doors of the building. Ahead of us stood Nurse Redheart, who was talking to a doctor. He glanced over at us, and suddenly his face became neutral. Redheart noticed us around the same time, but couldn’t hold back her grimace.

No…

The doctor put down the clipboard he had been holding and turned to face us. He straightened his glasses and shook his grey mane slightly before speaking.

“Good afternoon, Miss Belle, Miss Scootaloo. How are things today?” he asked in a smooth, professional tone. Sweetie raised an eyebrow and I snorted in frustration. He sighed. “Skipping the pleasantries are we? Very well. You two may want to take a seat.” Sweetie complied, I stared at him for another moment, before sitting down with her.

“What’s happened, Doctor?” Sweetie Belle asked. He sighed, and turned to Nurse Redheart.

“Would you mind fetching me some water?”

“Sure, not a problem,” she replied, walking off with a surprising amount of speed.

“Alright then, down to business. It is my deep regret to inform you that Miss Apple Bloom passed away last night at approximately eleven-thirty. Her right lung was pierced when she was shot, and the other couldn’t keep up under the strain. I am very sorry for your loss.”

That was it.

Apple Bloom was dead.

At first, I felt nothing. Just a pang of emptiness in my heart. Then there came a throbbing pulse of anger, misery, desperation. I was bombarded with every single negative emotion in the book. My muscles began to twinge, I wanted to hit something, tear something apart!

I couldn’t stay here.

Sweetie Belle was crying; I wanted to hold her, comfort her, but I couldn’t. I was afraid that I might hurt her and there was no way I’d be able to live with myself if I did. Slowly, mechanically, I stood up. I began walking towards the doors.

“S-Scoots? Where are you going?” Sweetie asked in between sobs. I didn’t say anything. “Scootaloo? Please, talk to me!” I began walking faster and within seconds I was running. I shot out the double-doors at full sprint, and with a flap of my wings I was off.

I tore through the skies, tears blurring my vision. I didn’t know where I was flying, and I frankly didn’t give a shit. Apple Bloom was dead—nothing else mattered right now. Now I’d never be able to make things right. I’d never be able to go and tinker on random tech with her again. She was gone.

My mind was knocked back to the dream I’d had.

Why should you live while they die?

She was right, why did I deserve to live when somepony like Apple Bloom died? What gave me the right to survive? Why didn’t I just off myself and make things right? I was a monster, a traitor. Apple Bloom had been kind and thoughtful, always putting others first, always working to make the world better. My anger swelled like a volcano within me.

I came to a stop over a small hill. In front of me floated a building I hadn’t ever expected to see again. It was a large, elegant house sculpted out of clouds. It floated high above the ground, waterfalls of rainbow pouring off of it. The house looked almost like a small palace, but that wasn’t important. What was important was whose house it was. This was where Rainbow Dash had once lived.

It was as good a place as any to be right now. At least this way, nopony would bother me. I needed to be alone. Without a second thought I shot towards the house. I had barely touched the soft floor of it before I threw the door open and yelled. I poured out my anger, turning to the sofa and pounding my hooves into it’s soft surface.

I screamed and shouted, throwing all of my hate and rage into each and every blow. Eventually, my punches began to weaken then stopped altogether, my energy and anger expended. All that was left within me was a sea of misery. Slowly I breathed out a single word.

“Fuck.”  It felt good to say the word. I repeated it a few more times, before slumping down onto the couch I had just tried to destroy. At length, I looked up. The room looked as if nopony had touched it since Rainbow left all those years ago. It was still in that same state of organised chaos, seemingly random pieces of junk scattered all over yet always where Rainbow left them.

Her copies of the ‘Daring Do’ series were piled in the same corner they had always been. The crown she had received for the winning Best Young Flyers competition sat on the head of a sculpture. From the ceiling hung a familiar purple banner displaying the crescent moon, next to it a picture of Rainbow and Princess Luna next to each other at a bar somewhere, grinning and bumping drinks together. The two had been good friends, especially so when Rainbow joined the night guard.

Speaking of the guard…

Out of the corner of my eye, I spied a beautifully crafted set of plate armour on a pegasus mannequin. It was a deep, dark purple, broken up by plates of lavender and silver. The armour covered more than most, providing extra armour over the legs, but I knew from what Rainbow had told me that it was also considerably lighter than most suits of it’s size. Attached to the boots were bladed claws which looked sharp enough to slice straight through stone. In the centre of the suit sat a single, blue eye: The symbol of the Night Guard.

This had been a gift to Rainbow from Princess Luna for joining the Night Guard after her attempted assassination, Rainbow had luckily been there at the time and saved her life. After that occurrence, Rainbow had left the Wonderbolts to protect her friend and Princess. No matter what else anypony may or may not have thought about her, nopony could deny that Rainbow truly was the element of loyalty.

I turned my attention away from the armour, and began to take in the rest of the room. There was a small table in front of the sofa, and a little further away sat a wooden dresser. In the dresser was a picture of Rainbow and Twilight, laughing together. Next to that one, a picture of Rainbow and Fluttershy back when they were fillies. Further along stood a picture of me and Rainbow, the same one I had in my bags, and next to that was another of an older me and Rainbow, her hoof around me as we stood on a cloud somewhere high up.

Taped to the mirror were even more pictures: one of Rainbow in her guard armour, another of her and her friends, there were so many! The strangest thing, however, was a small, crimson pistol lying directly in front of the mirror. It had the wrong grip to have been made for a pony, and looked far too brutal to be pony-made anyway. It had a long, jagged blade next to it which looked as though it was meant to be attached to it.

If that wasn’t strange enough, leaning against the wall next to the door I had come through was a long-barrelled sniper rifle with a large scope. It looked heavy, and seemed as though a single shot from it could probably punch through a sky-tank. Next to the weapon sat a large box of ammo, and a screwdriver. I supposed that since Rainbow had been in the military, she probably did have some weaponry here, but why did they have such strange grips?

I moved on to her closet to find that, although almost everything else had been left here, her favourite brown’ jacket was gone. It looked almost as if that was the only thing she took with her. The only other item of clothing in it was a grey fedora, which hung from a hook next to where the jacket would have been. I trotted out of the closet, finally noticing a pair of flight goggles, which sat on top of a large tape recorder that had been left on the table. In front of it was a small note.

I trotted closer and examined the note.

‘Scootaloo, press play,’ it read. I glanced up at the tape recorder, carefully moving the pair of goggles so that I could see the buttons. Hesitantly, I reached forward and pressed the one marked ‘Play.’ Immediately I heard the grainy sound of somepony moving around junk, and then a sigh as the pony—definitely a mare—sat down.

“Hey there, squirt. How are you doing?” asked the distinctive voice of Rainbow Dash. She chuckled a little, though I could tell it was forced.

“Damn, I hope you get this soon. I didn’t think of doing this until after we talked, but I figure you’re bound to come here sooner or later, right? Either way, I hope things are going awesome for you right now. Me? Well, I’ll let you in a little secret I didn’t tell you last time I saw you.” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial stage-whisper. “I’m actually on a super-important mission out of Equestria, it’s extra hush-hush so don’t go telling anypony!” She laughed again, then sighed.

“Seriously though, I’m really sorry it had to be like this, Scoots. I know what you must be thinking. I mean you finally had a sister, you were going on to the academy, and then I just up and run off! What kind of sister does that, huh? A pretty crappy one if you ask me. But this is really important Scoots, really important. I know it doesn't justify this, but I hope that it helps make things a little easier for you.” I felt tears begin to blur my vision again.

“Anyway, I promise you this, Scoots, I know I’ve said it already but as soon as I can I’m going to come back, and we’re going to go fly together, and then I’m going to take you on a little adventure, just me and you. Then… well then, we’ll see what happens, but I’m going to come back, okay? And if I don’t, I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much. You’re the best kid I’ve ever met, and you deserve a happy life. And… if it’s not too much, can you tell Twilight that I love her too? I know it’s coming a little late, but better late than never, right?” She gave a small snort.

“I’m rambling again aren’t I? Sorry, I’m not really used to this. Heck, I feel like a complete idiot saying all this sappy stuff to a freakin’ grey box.” She sniffed, and I thought she was going to cry, but she just breathed out a long sigh before continuing. “I’m leaving all of my stuff to you, Scoots. Everything in this house is yours—you deserve it. I don’t know if I’m going to be coming back, so I want to know that somepony awesome will be taking care of it. I’ve left Tank with Fluttershy, but I’d like you to take care of him too if you can. I need somepony I can trust watching the little guy. Oh, and Scootaloo? These goggles right here?” I heard a tapping sound which I assumed were the goggles.

“These were mine, ever since they were given to me by my mom. I want you to have them, I want to know they’ll be with somepony who will take good care of them. I can’t think of anypony better than you.” She coughed, and I heard her shifting about. “Heh, this is starting to get kinda long, and I really can’t stay. But before I go, Scoots I just want to say this: Never stop trying. There are gonna be times in life where you screw up and things just never go right, but you can’t live in the past. You’ve gotta keep fighting til’ the last damned breath, and even past it. I know this because I’ve made far more mistakes than I care to admit. But it’s really important you don’t lose sight of what you live for. Your friends—Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Firelock. They need you. And even when things are really rough, when you just wanna lie down and give up, remember this: Never, ever back down. Not even when the sun and moon fall, dragons start invading and the gates to Tartarus itself open. Never back down.” She paused, and I heard her moving again. “Good luck, squirt. I love you.” There was a click, and then the recording was over.

I sat there for Goddesses know how long, just staring at the recorder. Rainbow really had cared about me—she’d left me everything. Even her goggles, which had meant so much to her. I reached forwards and stroked them. They were worn, old and battered. And they were mine.

I felt… confused. The sadness at Rainbow’s departure remained, but it was tempered by happiness, knowing that all along she really had loved me. Eventually I stood up, ready to leave. I had a message to deliver, and a friend to apologise to.

Just as I was about to leave, I heard the soft rasp of a weapon being pulled out of its sheath. I shifted myself to turn around, but before I could face whoever was behind me, I was engulfed in a storm of feathers and steel.