Perception

by Valen

Chapter 5: Stars

It was already dark when we left the hospital, around seven if the receptionist was to be trusted. I played with the idea of going to a bar with Sweetie, but I wasn’t really in the mood for drinking. It had been great seeing Apple Bloom again, but we both knew how bad she was. It tore me up inside, but after seeing her condition I was frankly amazed she had lasted this long.

If I find the bastard that did this to her…

I shook my head. Apple Bloom wouldn’t want me thinking like that, not right now. It wasn’t right. I glanced across at Sweetie Belle. If anything she looked even more shaken up than I felt. This week must have been nothing but emotional blows for her. She was staring at the sky; it looked almost like she was searching for something.

I thought back to when we were fillies. When me and Sweetie Belle had been having a sleep-over. I woke up in the middle of the night after a particularly bad nightmare, and noticed Sweetie sitting at her window, looking up at the stars.

“Whatcha doin’?” I asked her, walking over and sitting down next to the mare.

“Looking for my star,” she replied, gesturing towards the vast sea of lights. I cocked my head, staring at the sky.

“Which one is it?” Sweetie shuffled a little closer to me, pointing a hoof at a cluster of stars.

“You see that one over there? The really bright one?” I looked to where she was pointing, my eyes settling on a single, beautiful light. It shone far brighter than any of the others, and seemed to glow with a slightly pink tint. “That’s the one. It’s called ‘Rana.’” I stared at the light, amazed.

“It’s awesome,” I said at length. Sweetie grinned at that, moving me slightly and gesturing at another star nearby.

“It’s part of a big group of stars called ‘Eridanus.’ If you look over there, you can see it’s friends ‘Acamar’ and ‘Zaurak.’” I looked in the direction she pointed and noticed two even brighter stars; one glowed with a green tint and the other with an orange. I frowned.

“So why is Rana your favourite?” I asked. The other two were—in my opinion—prettier. Sweetie smiled at that, pointing back at Rana.

“Because even if it’s not as obvious as the other two, it’s got this subdued beauty which the other two don’t. It’s strong and bright, but represses its greatness for some reason. Even then, it can’t hide it all.” She looked at me again, still smiling. “It reminds me of you.”

That had been a turning point for me and Sweetie. We’d started stargazing together more often, it had brought us closer together. She’d told me that as far as she was concerned, I was the brightest star in the sky, but I just couldn’t see it myself. I still didn't really understand what she meant, but that wasn’t important. That memory had given me an idea.

“Hey, Sweetie?” I asked quietly. She jumped a little and looked at me with sad, tired eyes.

“Yes, Scootaloo?”

“There’s something I’d like to show you,” I said.

She gave a confused look at that, but eventually nodded.

“Um, okay, If you want. But why?” I gave my own little smile at that.

“Can’t say, but first I have to ask you, do you trust me?” She paused for a moment, but nodded. I exhaled a sigh of relief and slowly, carefully, unfolded my wings. Am I ready for this? I asked myself, glancing at them. I hadn’t actually flown in years, not since the wonderbolts…

No, not thinking about that right now. I had screwed up, but right now Sweetie needed something and I couldn’t effectively give it to her if I was grounded. I shook myself. I’ll deal with this later. It was time to take a step into the future.

With that, I flapped my wings once, twice, thrice, and then I was in the air. I did a quick loop as the wind rushed through my mane; even though I had avoided flying for the past few years, I had still done the necessary exercises to keep them in shape. It had been a routine, something constant in my world. I felt a rush in my heart as I realised what I was doing.

I was actually flying!

I didn’t care about anything else at that moment, because for the first time in years I was off the ground. I let out a whoop as I shot back down and grabbed Sweetie Belle in my hooves. She yelped, her eyes widening in fear as she realised what was happening.

“Scootaloo! What are you doing!?”

I just laughed in exhilaration as I shot off towards the Everfree forest.

“I don’t know, I haven’t flown in years! isn’t it great!?” I shouted back. I relished the feel of the wind blowing through my feathers, the burn in my muscles as I flapped, the cold air brushing against my face. And most of all, the view. All the world was open before me, a canvas of thatched-roof houses and hills. A long line of trees stood further away, my destination.

Sweetie Belle suddenly stopped her struggling.

“Wow…” she breathed. I could feel her head shifting underneath me as she looked all around her. “It’s… It’s beautiful, Scoots.”

 I grinned in response.

“That’s not the best part, Sweetie. Hold on!” With that, I put on an extra burst of speed. We shot towards the Everfree forest, slowing as we neared the border. I leaned to the left slightly, tracing the path I had travelled many times in my youth. We descended slowly, stopping when we were close enough to the treetops for Sweetie to reach out with a rear leg and brush her hoof against the leaves.

I banked as I finally saw what I was looking for: a gap in the canopy of green, almost impossible to see if you weren’t looking for it. I flew up, gripping Sweetie tighter, then I shot downwards. We smoothly flew through the gap, coming into a hidden clearing. I pulled myself into a tight loop to bleed off momentum, before coming to a stop over a lake. I flapped over to the bank and carefully set Sweetie down.

She stumbled as her hooves touched the ground, collapsing on the soft soil. I rushed to her side, worried she might be hurt but she just smiled at me.She began to laugh. I sat down next to her, cocking my head in confusion. Suddenly, she leapt forward and hugged me.

“Scootaloo! That was amazing!” she gushed. “I mean, at first I was terrified and thought I was going to die.” She paused, pulling back and looking me in the eyes. “But I knew that even if I did fall, you’d be there to catch me.” I felt a heat rise in my cheeks as she said that. “I saw what you wanted, Scootaloo. It’s beautiful.” For some reason I felt like there was more she wanted to say, but I didn’t press. Instead, I grinned at her and pulled back a bit.

“That’s not all. Look at this!” I flew up again, pulling back a branch and hooking it behind another as I had done so many times in the past. Sweetie gasped as I revealed the sky as she had never seen it before. I flew back down and sat next to her, gazing up at the swirl of colours. There was something special about this place; outside of the Everfree, all you would see here is sky. Yet when you came here and really looked, you would be rewarded with a swirl of shifting and moving colours.

Back when I was younger, Rainbow and I would come here all the time. It was our safe place to talk, practice and do whatever we wanted without other ponies judging. It was our Sanctuary. Aside from me and my big sister, only Twilight Sparkle knew about it. Rainbow had often come here with her. She said that aside from me, Twilight was the only pony she trusted enough to reveal the spot to. I’d liked Twilight: she was always nice to me and had helped me with quite a bit of school work. Besides, Rainbow liked her, and that was good enough for me.

“Scootaloo, this is… It’s…” Sweetie Belle stumbled over her words. I smiled at the mare, pulling her closer.

“I know Sweetie. It’s really something huh?” I felt tears blurring my vision a little. This place contained so many memories, it was hard to keep my emotions in check. Sweetie looked across at me, tears in her own eyes. She’d always loved the sky.

“What’s it called?”

“Twilight said that it was called an ‘Aurorae,’” I replied, turning back to watch the sky. Sweetie seemed appeased with that. I don’t know how long we spent just watching the colours dancing in the night sky, but after awhile, Sweetie turned back to me with another question.

“Scoots, what is this place?”

I turned back to her, wiping away some of the tears.

“This… this is my sanctuary. I haven’t been here in years. It’s where me and Rainbow used to hang out. Sometimes Twilight came with us… damn I missed it,” I replied. Sweetie shifted a little closer, looking somewhat unsure of herself. I wrapped a wing around her, relishing in the contact. It reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I know this place must mean a lot to you,” she said.

I nodded. “Yeah, it does. I was just thinking about that time you told me about Eridanus and thought you might like it here.”

Sweetie’s eyes widened. “Y- you remember that? Even after all these years?”

I chuckled. “Of course I do. It was the first time we ever really hung out alone since we formed the CMC. Why wouldn’t it?” She leaned in closer, hugging me again.

“I love it when you’re oblivious, Scootaloo,” she said. A blush formed in her cheeks, but she didn’t seem to care. I smiled, leaning into her hug. “Hey, Scoots, what’s that?” she asked, gesturing towards a black, stone structure standing in the centre of the lake. I slowly stood up, Sweetie standing with me.

“That? It’s Obelisk.” Sweetie raised an eyebrow, I shrugged. “Me and Rainbow never really figured out what it was for, and when Twilight came and started calling it an ‘Obelisk’ the name stuck.” An idea hit me. “Wanna take a look?”

Sweetie’s eyes lit up, and I laughed. Apparently so. I flapped my wings again, ignoring the voice in my head that told me I was breaking my vow. This was good for her, she needed something to take her mind off all this. Once in the air, I picked Sweetie up and we flew towards the small island which sat in the centre of the lake. In the middle of that, stood Obelisk.

Moss grew over the entire structure, making it look impossibly old. It was tall, three metres at least. All around it were curved arcs of stone which orbited Obelisk, supported by other beams of stone. At its head was a large, midnight blue gem. Around it was a large square of stone tiles.

Sweetie yelped as I set her down. Apparently she’d been in a little world of her own. I landed next to her as she recovered. When she trotted forward to inspect the structure, she traced a hoof across its edges, examining the tower in great detail. I found myself thinking back to the many days I had spent here with Twilight and Rainbow, listening to the two theorise about what it could be. Rainbow had developed a keen interest in strange and mysterious objects, especially ones which looked as cool as Obelisk did.

We’d eventually come to the decision that it was either A: some form of ritual stone, B: a memorial for some ancient hero or C: the entrance to a vast underground city. The third option had been Rainbow’s idea, and whilst being incredibly awesome, was rather unlikely. I glanced at Sweetie, who was busy scrubbing away some moss from one of the tiles on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I asked her. She paused in her work to look up at me. There was a strange look in her eyes, one of curiosity. Suddenly, I saw a part of Sweetie which I had never seen before. She was positively buzzing, looking as if a thousand ideas had hit her at once, it reminded me of Twilight and Rainbow when they really got talking.

“Look! There’s something written underneath here,” she said whilst pointing towards a large ‘M’ carved into the stone. I cocked my head; we had never noticed that in the past. Either way, this was actually pretty big. It might have even explained what Obelisk was! I joined Sweetie in scrubbing away the moss and soon we had removed it all.

“Mephistis,” I read. I glanced across at Sweetie Belle, who shrugged in response. Well, it’s something. “I guess it’s a memorial or something then?”

“Must be.” She looked caught up in thought for a moment, before eventually turning her attention back to me. “What did you mean when you said ‘I haven’t flown in years?’”

Shit.

“I uh… well…” I sighed. Screw it, she deserves to know. “Promise not to hate me, okay?” Her eyes widened, apparently she hadn’t been expecting this response.

“Hate you? Why would I hate you?”

“Because I fucked up, Sweetie. I fucked up big time, and because of it I abandoned you all for five years.” She seemed taken aback at the comment, looking like she wanted to argue but slowly nodded and sat down across from me. I took in a deep breath and began:

“You remember back when I was trying to join the Wonderbolts? It was… about six years ago now.” Sweetie nodded. “Well, after a couple months I actually managed to get into the academy. Things were going well for the first few months, I was near the top of the leaderboard. Then things… started going less well.

“It was during a flight session; Spitfire was talking about the academy records and soon we got onto those held by Lightning Dust and Rainbow Dash. Lightning and Rainbow had been an unstoppable team, ya know? After that incident with the hurricane Rainbow had risked her ass to get Spitfire to keep Dust on. When she agreed, she did so on the condition that she always be within visibility of Rainbow. After that, the two became friends again and started cracking records like there was no tomorrow.

“Anyway, I’m getting off topic. Some asshole—Blazing Steam or something—started mouthing off about Rainbow and how she betrayed Equestria, running off like she did. He started calling her names, saying that he’d heard about how she… how she whored herself out.” I had to stop for a moment, my anger rising at the memory. “I don’t know why he said any of it, I didn’t really much care at the time. All I know is that I got angry, really angry. I told him to back off, but then he started going for me as well. I ignored him for a bit, but eventually I just couldn’t stand there and take it anymore.

“I attacked him, Sweetie,” I said, looking up at the white mare. “I smashed into him into him. Hurt his wing real bad, but that’s not the worst part. I… I didn’t mean to, but I ended up pushing him straight off the cloud. He couldn’t fly back up because of how I hurt his wing. He hit the ground, it shattered his legs, cracked a few ribs. As far as I know he hasn’t walked since.” I saw the brief flash of horror on her face, salt on the wound at this point. I looked back down at my hooves, tearing up slightly. “After that, I was kicked out the academy. I vowed never to fly again, and I haven’t until today.” I sighed, glancing back at my friend. “I’ve been drifting ever since.”

We sat there for a while, the silence only broken by the occasional hoot of an owl. Eventually I felt a pair of soft hooves embrace me. That was too much. I started crying, babbling like a newborn foal. I was pathetic.

“It’s okay, Scootaloo. It’s okay,” Sweetie whispered as she stroked my mane.

“Okay? Okay?! Are you kidding me, Sweetie? I nearly fucking killed somepony!” Couldn’t she see that I was a screw-up? Couldn’t she accept that all I would do was bring pain to everypony around me? I didn’t want to hurt her anymore! I didn’t want to hurt anyone! I just wanted to… to…

I wanted to stop being alone.

I threw my hooves around Sweetie, sobbing into her shoulder. I poured out my regret, my anger, all of it. She just sat there, holding me, soothing me. Eventually, the sobbing died down and I could look her in the eyes again.

“I-I’m sorry Sweetie, it’s just… I just…”

Sweetie just hushed me, holding me closer. “It’s fine, Scootaloo. You made mistakes, but you regret them. It’s okay. You’re a good pony, Scoots—a good pony.” Despite myself, I smiled a little. I knew at that moment that I could trust Sweetie with anything. I knew that no matter what, she would always be there for me.

We settled down next to Obelisk, holding each other. I was still a monster, there was nothing I could do about that. But maybe, just maybe, I could work past it. Soon I felt my lack of sleep finally begin to hit me. The last couple of days had been absolutely exhausting. My eyelids grew heavy and I turned my head slightly to look at the pony curled up next to me.

I felt an unfamiliar feeling stir in my gut as I watched her. That wonderful, funny, cute pony who had been friends with me ever since we were fillies. The pony who had helped me come out of my shell when we were foals.The pony who got me to finally talk to Rainbow Dash properly. The pony who accepted me, no matter how bad I messed up. The pony who was always there for me…

I pulled Sweetie a little closer as I finally went to sleep. I couldn’t have fallen into better hooves.