//------------------------------//
// Heads In The Clouds 
// Story: Discord's Family Vacation 
// by DraconequusMaximus 
//------------------------------//

After a quick breakfast Discord, Draco, & Spike walked/floated to the throne room to teleport them to their next destination. Discord was fully capable of teleporting them from any given location, but since becoming a father he took extra precautions. There was enough wide open space in the throne room to assure no one ended up fused to an object too close to the magic. With a flash of light they were gone. They reappeared several miles above the ground amongst a sea of clouds. The floating city of Cloudsdale was visible in the distance. The trio took flight to their next stop.
Cloudsdale was a beautiful place, fluffy white clouds shaped into buildings & columns, & fountains of liquid rainbows. In other words, Discord found the place far too dull for his taste but had promised Spike to behave. When they landed in front of a particularly large cloud mansion, Draco's excitement had already neared critical mass as he had never been to a cloud city before.
"Everything is so fluffy! Look I made a cloud pony!" Draco said as he smooshed various puffs of cloud matter together. In truth it really did look a bit like a pony, until Draco did a speeding barrel roll through it scattering vapors all about. His parents shared a laugh at his antics for a moment before reeling him in so they could get on with their visit. They walked up the long field of clouds that served as a yard for the home of the fastest pony in recorded history. To Draco's surprise the door & windows of the manor were regular materials instead of cloud.
"I thought stuff that wasn't magic fell through clouds?" Draco asked as he turned to his fathers.
"Your grandma explained it to me once, something about finishing materials with magic varnish or something. You should ask her about it sometime." Spike said as they reached the porch of the impressive abode. Discord knocked on the door with his lion's paw, after a moment they heard something moving inside. A weary looking rainbow dash answered the door after several more moments.
"Oh, hey guys. I wasn't quite awake yet, me & the bolts were running drills till three this morning." She said as she shielded her eyes from the light of Celestia's sun. She opened the door wider revealing the interior of her home. It looked much like any other home with real walls & everything. The thing that set it apart was the abundant clutter, empty energy drink cans & sports magazines littered the floor. On the coffee table was bottles of vitamins, protein powder, & a half-empty glass of some health food swill that reeked like rotten vegetables. Draped across the sofa was a blanket & Rainbow's own Wonderbolt uniform, she had apparently shed the outfit & crashed on the couch mere hours ago. 
"Sorry about the mess, the cleaning lady doesn't come by till Saturday." Rainbow Dash said before swallowing a number of supplements with the remainder of the sickening health drink. Rainbow was thirty eight but was showing no signs of slowing down yet, Spike supposed her vigorous training & recently adopted dietary shift had really paid off. He couldn't help but feel guilty that he would remain as he was for eternity unless the powerful spell upon him was somehow broken, but even then his lifespan was nearly infinite unless he became victim of foul play or disease. He could understand how immortals seemed to lose their heads on occasion, the guilt alone was nearly thick enough to cut with his claws. He was broken from his moment of melancholy by Draco who was hovering in circles around Rainbow Dash.
"Look Rainbow, I can fly without using my wings!" Draco shouted as he orbited her. Rainbow Dash hated it when her friends children referred to her with any additional title as it made her feel old. He stopped when she looked at him in surprise before replacing her expression with one of both happiness & smugness.
"That's great shrimp, but we need to get your wings caught up! It's time for you to sweat! Get flapping!" Rainbow said in mock drill instructor tone. She was used to being rough with her cadets but knew Draco was still young. Despite her playful instruction, Draco saluted & floated to the floor & began flapping his tiny feathery wings. Twilight had examined all three of them after Draco was born, Spike had the usual wild plentiful magic of a dragon. Discord seemed to have a completely unique magic comprised of all known forms of magic & a few still unidentifiable, pony included. Draco's magic was singular but completely unique to any other but her analysis showed his wings were nearly identical to that of a pegasus. Draco was able to move a few inches off of the floor before falling back to the plush carpeting of Rainbow's home with a defeated look on his face. Rainbow made her way over to him & lifted his chin with her hoof.
"Hey, that was great for a first try, not everypony gets it right away. You're still little, before you know it you'll be soaring through the air & belching fire like your dad." She said sincerely to the little draconian. He brightened a bit after thinking about it for a moment.
"If I drink that nasty stuff like you do you think I could grow faster?" He asked completely innocently. Though he was a very smart child, biology was still a ways ahead in his lessons. The adults shared a laugh at his question much to his confusion. After Rainbow Dash grabbed a quick shower the four departed for their tour of Cloudsdale. 
Despite being one to avoid slow paced tasks, Rainbow proved to be a good tour guide of the city she had been raised in. The group got a few looks from the citizenry of Cloudsdale due to their appearances, but a quick glare from the most famous pegasus in the country garnered their silence. The tour ended with the largest building in the city, The Cloudsdale Weather Factory. 
There were pegasus guards positioned at the entrance & at strategic points around the facility. Security had been heightened years earlier after someone had somehow altered all the machines into producing chocolate clouds that rained diet cola continually. The guards at the front entrance were on full alert as soon as the group came into view, despite the presence of the Wonderbolts captain. 
"Ma'am please step aside, these creatures are a potential threat to the security of the factory." The guard commander said with a spear raised at Draco, as the other guard had one raised at Discord. Draco took cover behind Spike, who was immediately enraged at the display of aggression. He took the spear from the guard & snapped it in his hands several times before chewing & swallowing the remains. Discord merely grinned evilly before touching the tip with a talon, the spear became a vine that rooted itself to the clouds before binding the other guard several feet off the ground.
"Would you like to see what happens to someone we think is a genuine threat to our family?" Spike said smoke fuming from his nostrils. Draco peaked over Discord's shoulder sticking his tongue out at the now cowering guards. Rainbow chose now to intervene & flew between the guard & the three.
"Whoa whoa whoa, these three are my friends, the royal family of the Chimera Kingdom & close relatives of our princess Twilight Sparkle. If you threaten them you're gonna have a god, all the alicorns, a dragon, my Wonderbolts, & an entire country after your flanks." She said meeting the eyes of the commander who was as of now rethinking his line of work. He righted himself as best as he could.
"Ah, my deepest apologies your majesties. We weren't expecting you, please forgive our assumptions of you we aren't familiar with the identities of friendly nations leaders. I will be sure to rectify that at the earliest opportunity." The guard said trying his best to keep calm. He was doing admittedly well with his voice, but his legs were wobbling & he was sweating profusely. Rainbow, Spike & Discord were obviously still a bit tense but let it go.
"Fine, you do that. & maybe be a little less discriminatory from now on. I know for a fact that tours are open to the public, if Luna or Celestia found out you pointed anything sharper than an egg at our son they'd have you gelded & force feed it to you afterwards." Spike said looking the guard directly in the eyes before snorting a puff of black smoke into his face. The guard promptly fainted, the group continued into the building with guards nervously saluting them. 
Once they arrived inside a nervous mare trotted out from behind the front desk, a video monitor of the outside could be seen in back explaining her demeanor. She quickly bowed to the group before passing them pamphlets about the facility. Draco snatched one up & began floating upside down whilst reading it, eager to absorb the new information. Spike felt bad about letting his instincts take over moments ago when he saw the mare flinch away from Draco.
"You can get up, we don't even make our subjects bow. They usually just wave. We have nothing but love for Equestria, I was born here. We just got a little carried away when they threatened our son." Spike said motioning to Draco.
"Although I'll admit that I wasn't expecting to have a reasonable excuse to cut loose some chaos magic on an unsuspecting guard." Discord said with a chuckle. Spike smacked him on the back of the head lightly causing the draconequus to grumble a bit. The mare relaxed a bit & raised her head again, she righted herself before her introduction.
"Ah yes, sorry about that Steely Gaze is a bit paranoid at times. Welcome to the Cloudsdale Weather Factory, I'm Breezy Nimbus & I'll be your guide today. Please be mindful of the various machines & vats in the facility. If you have any questions please be sure to ask, & I will answer them to the best of my ability." She said as she recited her rehearsed lines without faltering. Not a second passed before Draco's stubby arm shot into the air as he turned upright again.
"Um, yes?" Breezy stated unsure of what Draco could be asking about this early on.
"I finished the pamphlet, it says that it takes hundreds of ponies to make weather & lots more around Equestria to control it." Draco said as if it didn't make any sense to him. Breezy Nimbus was surprised that such a small boy had read the pamphlet in the time it took her to introduce herself, but was also surprised that the knowledge bothered the child.
"Well yes, it's a big job. It takes a lot of ponies to keep everything running smoothly."  She said unsure of his question.
"Can't the princesses do it for them they're powerful & there are three of them in Equestria." Draco said as if it were obvious.
"Well there isn't anypony powerful enough to control individual weather patterns over an area that large." She answered in the same tone.
"But Papa does that back home by himself everyday while taking a nap on the sofa. He even makes it snow ice cream on my birthday." Draco said looking back at Discord who was basking in the praise his son was giving him.

3 MINUTES LATER
   
"How was I supposed to know that they were still mad about the cola storm? That was years ago!" Discord said with crossed arms as they stood outside the factory grounds. Spike didn't really care that he & Discord were banned from the facility but Draco was still young so they showed him leniency. Rainbow Dash was currently chaperoning Draco on the tour. They would meet them back at Rainbow's house later Rainbow had given Spike the keys. After they arrived Spike began making dinner for everyone as thanks to Rainbow, Discord lazed about on the sofa before Spike interrupted his leisure time.
"If you wanna be off the hook for getting us kicked out of another public place you had better get cleaning in there." At this Discord merely rolled his eyes & raised his eagle talon, but before he could do so Spike could be heard again.
"Don't even think about it, honey. Do it the right way, you're being punished." Discord's mood dropped several notches at this. He magicked his maids outfit onto himself for the first time in ages & got to work. He wasn't the best at manual labor, so the cleaning job wasn't at professional standards but was a noticeable improvement. The cans had been put into the recyclables & the magazines placed on the coffee table. Discord gathered up the supplements & protein powder & carried it all off to the kitchen. He saw Spike making spaghetti with homemade sauce, garlic bread & side salads. Discord placed the items on the counter & walked silently up to his unsuspecting husband.
"Don't even think about it." Spike said as he turned around. Both of them looked the other over silently. Discord had forgotten to remove the maids outfit from himself & Spike was in an apron he had found hanging on a hook on the wall in the kitchen. It read "Kiss The Cook" in bright red letters with phony lipstick stains in a few places. Without needing to say anything the two held each other & entered a deep kiss that felt like it lasted forever. Unbeknownst to them Rainbow & Draco had just returned home with Draco wearing a t-shirt with Cloudsdale's silhouette on it & a sealed bottle of liquid rainbow in his nubby digits, souvenirs of his day out with his aunt.
"Hey, something smells good. Your dads must have started dinner for us." Rainbow said happily. They both headed into the kitchen to see the two distracted with one another, in their respective costumes. Spike half-opened his eyes to see his close friend & son standing there entirely speechless. Spike's eyes snapped completely open & he pushed himself off his confused lover. Discord stared at him in confusion before he turned to see what had Spike up in arms. He immediately dove under the kitchen table to shield himself from their eyes. Spike undid the apron as quickly as he could & threw it under the table with Discord. 
No one said anything for a minute before a *snap* was heard & Discord removed himself from underneath his obvious hiding spot once again nude. Before anyone could react he was in front of Rainbow Dash & placed a paw finger on her forehead making her sleep.
"Okay so, we're going to pretend this didn't just happen. Draco if you promise to never tell anyone about this, especially Grandma you can have dessert back. Any objections?" Discord said looking at his family with a serious expression.
"No, I'm good. Draco?" Spike said turning to his son.
"I dunno what's going on or why Papa was dressed like the lady that cleans my room, but I want milkshakes tonight!" Draco said doing a flip in excitement at the return of his dessert privileges.
They set the table like normal with an unconscious Rainbow Dash setting in a chair still temporarily catatonic. Once everything was in place Discord tapped her on the head again waking her up.
"Bwuh? What just happened? Was I asleep? I could have sworn..." She said looking at her surroundings.
"We were just sitting down to this lovely dinner Spike prepared as a thank you & Draco was telling us about the factory. You nodded off, you really should get to sleep at a more reasonable hour my dear." Discord said wiping a bit of drool from her mouth with a napkin.
"Uh, sure. You might be right about that. Rest is important if I'm gonna keep up with the rising stars on the team." Rainbow said as she tried to get a swirl going to get enough spaghetti for a bite. She eventually relented & dug in the old fashioned way. Spike & Discord shared a mental sigh of relief. The night went on without any other hitches & everyone had a good time, & of course Milkshakes were had by all.