//------------------------------// // New Life: Help // Story: Imbalanced // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// [Blazing's Entry] I like sandwiches for breakfast but fresh ones every day are out of my price range. Carrying coal around isn't as lucrative as it used to be during my younger years. Surprisingly enough, I also like eating ponies for breakfast. Don't take this the wrong way but I can't resist having a nibble whenever Choking visits me. Thankfully, I can deal with it (whatever it is) and nothing like last time is going to happen ever again, I hope. The voice tells me not to write about the voice - it makes me sound like I'm crazy. Right, the important stuff. I now have a practice partner. Choking is pretty terrible but her guard training helps her get better at much faster pace then I used to. The real problem comes with it though. My room is too small for two ponies to mess around and training in the castle gym would make us stand out so we decided to get together every night after I do my rounds. She has no problem seeing in the dark thanks to being a batpony and my night vision improved significantly either by the change or by me working every night. Problem numero dos is that Valiant Charge is a drill sargeant meaning he's supposed to be really good with weapons and I have no way to practice martial arts against somepony that skilled. Or do I? Perhaps Choking could pull some strings. [End Entry] "Why don't we take a break, Choking?" I easily dodge her left hook aimed at my face. "Told ya I'll hurt ya if ya call me that!" "Ya ya ya," I parody her speech pattern. She snarls at me and tries a move I showed her just today. This proves to be a terrible idea and after she ends up spinning around even I have hard time catching her. "Wwwwzml?" "You kinda need to stop the roundhouse kick at some point." "Mmmzhf!" "Break. Now," I command and let her fall flat on her rump. When her eyes begin focusing again I give her a bottle of water and a banana. Thankfully she decided to do the shopping necessary for our nightly sessions so I didn't have to limit my requests too much. As expected, whenever I glance her way she begins to slide the banana deep down her neck. I'm used to it now, for her it's a twisted sign of friendship. I curse my wild imagination and cross my legs though, no matter how long I spend in her presence I still find her irresistible. What's worse, she knows and notices my every move. And she knows that I know. Mares... can't live with them, can't live without them. "I think I have a problem, Cho," I try a new nickname. "Hmmmm... Cho. That doesn't sound half bad. Fire away!" she gulps down the rest of her banana. "I need somepony to help me practice against an armed opponent. I mean I enjoy beating you up as much as anypony but Valiant is bound to notice us sooner or later and I don't think I'll be ready at this pace." She thinks for a while and finally I can almost hear the wheels in her head click. "Anything?" I ask carefully. "I could ask a friend who owes me." "Is he good?" "Well he's not the best at any particular style but he's an all-rounder. Also, he's real smart so he could show ya if you're doing something completely wrong." "It's not like I have a choice. I don't know anypony here aside from you." She grins devilishly. "I know I set a high friendship bar. Ya in then?" "Yes I'm in. Who is he?" "But you will have to ask him yourself!" she completely forgets her accent or whatever-it-is which makes me think she just fakes it whenever she wants. Or she fakes speaking normal, I honestly don't care at this time. "FINE, I'll ask him myself if I think it's worth it." Her grin widens and I'm getting the feeling of a fish dragged upwards in a net. "Sharp Biscuit." Somehow this doesn't feel as devastating as I expected it to be. I mean he's big and stompy and scary and... "Close your mouth or something will fly in." I try to get up and my wobbly legs just refuse to work. Breathe in, breathe out. "I-I'll ask him in the morning." "Nope! Not giving you a chance to wiggle out of this. Besides he's a Nightguard so his shift began a while ago." "One more reason not to bother him right now." "You are NOT getting away from this." My brain completely stops working. "He'll eat me!" I sqeal weakly. "Oh come on, batponies don't drink blood and eat meat... much, and I'm pretty sure Sharpie is a vegetarian." "I'm a potato." "Hey don't faint! Seriously that's the worst panic attack I've seen somepony have." "Nnngh." "Alright. I can go and tell Valiant you've been harrassing me and that I want him back." "OWWW," I bite down hard and unfortunately my tongue is in the way. "Well that worked." "Awe you fewiouf?" "Of course not, now stop overreacting. Sharp is a great guy if you get to know him." I sigh loud enough to rattle the castle windows but grudgingly stand up. Perhaps Sharp will kill me and I won't have to deal with the crazy drill sargeant anymore. One can only hope. I know the layout of the castle better than most ponies now and I lead the way to princess Luna's room where I expect her bodyguard to be. When I lift my hoof to knock at the door I realize I can feel Choking standing further away then she's been the entire time of following me and for once I grin to myself. I was right. I turn around without hesitation and look directly at Sharp Biscuit's neck. Damn that size difference is annoying. I adjust my position and the glowing yellow eyes don't destroy any semblance of reason this time. I bow a little to show my respect to the grey-coated guard. "Good to see you're not shaking anymore. Blazing Light, was it?" he asks and I have to admit his voice dispells all doubts about him and all my worries. It still is a bit depressing seeing somepony not much older than me but completely different from me in every concievable way... better than me. Not. Helping. Anything. Right. "I'd like to ask for your help, mister Biscuit." "Sharp is fine. Yeah I guessed right then when you brought THAT to me," he lets a small smile appear on his face and waves his hoof in Choking's direction. "Hey!" she objects but doesn't continue. I've seen her talking to a lot of ponies over time but there were only two who recieved a tone other than 'you-me-bed-now' from her - Sharp and Me. What's between them? It doesn't matter now though. "I need a bit of practice against an armed enemy and Choking, who is sitting there and making puking noises, thought you could help." "Oh? Some ponies are threatening to hurt you if they don't get more coal?" "Eeeh no. It's a bit more personal." "Just kidding. You can guess who spent a night at my place drinking herself silly while swearing painful revenge on her ex." "SHUT UUUUP!" a blushing Choking charges at Sharp who just moves his spear slightly and trips her up. The loud 'thud' as she hits Luna's door echoes through the hallway. Moments later the midnight-blue head peeks out of the opening door. "I am deeply sorry, princess, for disturbing you but I have to ask you for a night off. Personal matters." "Then I need not to know more. Do whatever you have to, we can take care of ourselves. Heavens know you deserve it," says the princess and closes the door. "Let's go to the gym, it should be empty at this hour." We descend to the castle cellars. I've never been to the castle gym before and it's obvious that the ponies responsible for it's use know the importance of technology as the set of rooms is well-lit and heated. "Music? I think there's new Sapphire Shores album." asks Sharp when we enter. "Bleh. Can't stand that pop crap. Got anything from Vinyl there?" Choking offers her idea of ripped eardrums. I can almost hear Sharp's fur stand up when he says: "On the other hoof, it might be easier to concentrate like this." He takes off his silver armor and I almost whistle when I see every conture of the guard. He isn't bulky or overly muscular but the sinewy, yet lean frame is something to admire. Stop drooling, gay pony. I'm not, at least I think so, but this is too close for comfort. I still have to say that while I'm of more 'feminine' stature I'm a stallion enough to admit when a guy looks really damn good. "I guess you would want to practice against a staff as it is Valiant's weapon of choice," Sharp asks. "Makes sense. I'm going unarmed then." "You are stupid then," he parodies me. "Eh? I can't use any weapon." "That may be true but there are times when you're going to have to block and a staff might break your bones anyway. Also, take your hoodie off and I'll show you something." Bad idea if ever I saw one. The last thing I want them to see is the strange plating on me as most of the fur on my chest is already gone. "Don't be nervous, Blaze. If there's somepony I trust it's Sharp," Choking whispers to me. Don't do it. Can I trust her enough? Can I trust him? I take off my clothes. "Same as the leg?" Choking asks. "You know?" "Well I've been close to you enough times to notice, good job hiding the chest though." "Never seen anything like this myself but it doesn't matter. A friend asked me to beat you up and I owe her," smiles Sharp. He then begins his lecture. "You might be better at martial arts than me but you obviously know nothing about real combat. Firstly, take these, those are combat horseshoes and will allow you to block real weapons without breaking your legs. Secondly, I will have you learn a bit of staff combat to know what your enemy can do to you which is way more important than just knowing your moves. Thirdly, I will beat some real strategy into your head. Understood?" "Yes, sir!" "Hmm?" "Yes, Sharp!" "That's better. Now let's get rolling."