//------------------------------//
// The doof 
// Story: The Case of the Missing Mare 
// by MrPandaa 
//------------------------------//

	When the elevator doors opened, I couldn't close my jaw for the shock of what was before me.
A giant, green head floated above some sort of light projector. It was turned away from me, looking outside and cackling. When it realized I was in the room, it turned and laughed. “Oh, Perry th-” the head stopped as it got a better look at me. It scanned me up and down, and I took the chance to do the same for it...er, him. He had a white, smooth face with protruding eyeballs and an even more protruding nose. A brown mane stuck out from his head in all directions instead of falling down, and his whole demeanor seemed to have a slight touch of Discordian madness. Strangest of all, his entire head seemed to be entirely triangular.
I finished my analysis of him about the same time he did me. “You're not Perry the Platypus,” he spluttered. “You're some kind of...pony! Where did you come from?” He pauses for a second, and from the odd expression on his face, I believe that he's thinking. “Ohhh...” he says, the moment of brilliance displaying on his weird face. “I'm in the Display-My-Face-To-Another-World-inator, aren't I? Yes, and what else was I doing?”
I yelp in surprise as a cage clatters around me, trapping me in his gaze. “Oh, that's right. I was in the middle of TAKING OVER YOUR PITIFUL WORLD!!!! Haaahahahah! And there's nothing you can do to stop me!”
Unable to contain the enthusiasm he feels of his own genius, he continues. “Soon, I will use my Catch-You-In-A-Net-inator to catch every, ehm, pony in a Manehatten in a net, and with everypony in Manehatten in a net, I'll, well, I actually haven't thought that far ahead yet. But somehow, I'll take over all of Equestria!!!!”
I can't bear to listen to this doof any longer. I need to get out.
“Hey, can you help me out here?”
…
“I know you're there.”
The big doof head turns around and looks at me suspiciously. “Who are you talking to, little pony?”
Alright, fine. I'll break you out. You know what to do.
The doof is still watching me. His eyes narrow. “You're not talking to me, are you?”
“No,” I say calmly. “I'm not.” I reach into my coat and pull out a laser cutter with enough charge for three bursts. Kissing my freedom, I flip the switch and cut through my prison with ease.
“I was talking to the narrator.”
Doof's eyes widen and I can see him flipping through some sort of book. “You broke the fourth wall?  Isn't that against the rules or something?”
I answer him by cutting through the power source for his projector. Now, where's that whatever-inator? I look around the room and pause in shock for the second time in as many minutes.