September 22, 1000 ANM
The film was a success! When I entered the Bat Cave this morning, I was greeted with the sight of Micah Jayfill and her little friends sobbing at what must have been the sheer awfulness of the film. While part of me felt a twinge of regret at their utter agony, it was eclipsed by the satisfaction in seeing them receive what they deserve. That should teach that little peasant not to threaten me with exposing my secrets!
Although she does continue to baffle and bemuse me. Especially considering that she made another cryptic remark about how she was warning me regarding the perils of staring. If I never understand that mare, it will be too soon.
But enough of that. I encountered Mi Amore Cadenza today, which came to me as a surprise. In all the excitement of Trixie Lulamoon and Micah Jayfill, I had nearly forgotten that she existed. I suppose such is what happens when you are destined to be a pretty pink pony princess for all eternity. What can she hope to accomplish in the shadow of Sister Dearest? For that matter, what can anypony hope to accomplish in such circumstances?
“You seem upset,” I commented as she approached. And indeed she was. I find it easy to believe that her mood vacillates solely between cheery and frustrated.
“Really?” she growled. “What gave it away?”
“Is this about the Asteroid of Friendship? I am uncertain as to how you could have discovered it, but I suppose the spectacle left in its wake would have attracted somepony’s attention.”
“Actually, I found out that somepony switched my mouthwash with hot sauce. Now my room is on fire.” She winced at some memory. Then her thoughts caught up to her, and she frowned. “What’s this about an asteroid of friendship?”
“It is glorious!” I cried. “A suitable means of punishment. Truly I have outdone myself. I am tempted to call it my latest invention, though doing so would deny Blueblood the credit for all the effort he has put into the project. Still, as it was a joint effort, to deny my own contributions to its creation would be blasphemy.”
“That’s nice,” she said, “but that doesn’t exactly tell me what it is.”
In my infinite benevolence, I suffered myself to explain it to her. “It is a vehicle designed for carrying passengers in the vast emptiness of the cosmos, with naught but a tenuous connection to our secret hideaway to distract them from that black yawning gulf. Recently we have decided that its occupants should be bombarded with despicable films. All of this is in the name of poetic justice, as I am sure you can appreciate.”
“Are you saying that you shot some poor ponies into space?”
“Technically it was only one pony, though she has since designed a trio of dreadful companions. Ah, Mi Amore Cadenza, it is fortunate that you did not meet her. Her sense of humor nauseates me. Why does she insist on warning me about stares? It is not as if I am destined to go blind.”
“You can’t just do that!” she blurted. “What about her family? What about her friends and her job? She had a life, and now she’s doomed to go around flying in your comet of catastrophe or something. Did you ever consider what might happen to the ponies who know her if she’s exiled and never returns?”
“In truth, that seems unnecessary,” I reasoned. “She was only a janitor, and not a particularly notable one either. Her absence will go unheeded in the grand scheme of things.”
“So she’s an everymare, then.” That pink princess bristled. “And what does that say about the average pony in your eyes, hm? Just a toy for you to toss out when it’s not fun to play with it anymore? I guess you really are a tyrant in the making.”
I beamed. “Why, thank you! That is just what I need to improve my day. You can be a godsend at times, Mi Amore Cadenza.”
The groan she released confused me, but we were both able to put that aside. “I can’t believe you. Anyway, Mom asked me to ask you if you’d be willing to celebrate the Equinox this evening.”
“The Autumnal Equinox?” I asked, and then I mentally berated myself for implying that the Vernal Equinox could possibly take place in September. “I suppose I may. What manner of festivities are planned to occur?”
“Well, the same ones as usual,” she replied, looking mildly confused.
“Ah, yes,” I said. “I can see how you could make the mistake of assuming that everypony has remained on the planet for their entire lives and therefore is well aware of modern traditions.”
She winced. I cannot fathom why. What difficulty is there in understanding that I was helping her in clarifying why her logic functions in a certain way? There are some ponies I will simply never understand.
“I suppose I might deign to observe some of these festivities,” I mused, pointedly ignoring her inexplicable discomfort. “Where will they take place?”
“Oh, everywhere, I guess. There’s a parade marching through Canterlot in half an hour, and afterwards there’ll be a reenactment of your and Mom’s ascension … they’re celebrating the fact that this is one of two nights of the year when the day and night are the same length. Ponies have really warmed up to the night over the last thousand years.”
“As well they should!” I crowed. “It is only during the night that they can witness my full glory. I may not be zealous in my desire to keep all of ponykind awake during the nocturnal hours as I once was, but night is still an excellent time, and I am pleased that Equestria has opened its eyes to that beautiful truth.”
“Of course,” she said carefully. “And I think afterwards there will be staring contests with Mom. It’s a bit of a silly tradition, and nopony’s ever won against her, but it’s still … wait, where are you going?”
“To my chambers, of course,” I called back. “I have just realized that I shall not attend after all.”
“What? Why not?” The clack of her hooves alerted me to her attempts to catch up. “Because of staring?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed. “You likely are unaware of this, Mi Amore Cadenza, but a few centuries not long after our ascension, Sister Dearest and I engaged in a particular activity, which I am certain you can guess at. Our contest lasted far longer than either of us had intended, for hours passed into days and weeks and months without a single blink on my part or hers. I stared deep into her soul, and she deep into mine, and what I saw occupied all my thoughts during that time.”
Mi Amore Cadenza looked wary. “I don’t know if I should be asking this, but … what did you see?”
“I saw the sun, my niece. You cannot possibly know the roaring intensity of that sphere of flame, not so long as you stand safe on solid ground as you have lived your whole life. The sun is large enough to swallow all other celestial bodies whole, with room to spare. And in her eyes, I saw every nuance of effort she spent in keeping it a precise distance from the planet. Every day she pushes its unknowable weight across the vast reaches of space, inching it closer or farther depending on the season. It became apparent to me that extreme might is required to keep that hellish ball on course, and that a single misstep in raising or lowering it could catapult our entire world screaming into that fiery abyss.”
She swallowed. “So you wanted to stop the sun from moving, to prevent that.”
“Indeed. It was that contest that opened my eyes, if you will pardon the pun. My greatest fear … my greatest love is that she will fail in her eternal duties. It would only be for a second, but that would be a fatal second. If she simply kept the sun still, preferably where nopony could see it and be afraid, all would be well. But in her pride she refuses to hide it away. I considered this long after our contest had ended, and brooded on it long.”
She was silent for a moment, soaking in the weight of my words. Then she cleared her throat, taking care to say what she meant to say. “I can … sort of understand that. It doesn’t excuse your megalomania, but seeing how we’re all in such danger every day, I get that it’s justified. In a weird, twisted way.”
“Thank you,” I said uncertainly. “Thus, I shall not celebrate the Equinox at this time, despite my genuine appreciation at the common pony’s … appreciation. That Sister Dearest can degrade our sacred experience by offering its faintest shadow for the common pony to partake in … ah, her lack of respect sickens me. I do love her, doubt that not, but she can be such a fool. That event was not meant to come full circle and become once again a silly game.”
“But … Auntie Luna?”
“What is it?”
“What did she see in your eyes?”
I made no response, but approached my chambers without looking at her. She stayed behind as the doors swung behind me with a sense of finality. It was several minutes before I could hear the telltale clip-clop of her hooves as she retraced her steps.
I have not seen her since. I assume she has attended the celebrations, though I do hope she will see the mockery of the contest in a new light. Her last question still haunts me, and even now, in the darkness lit only by the sweet glow of the moon, I can only see her piercing eyes, searching mine for answers hidden away in the shadowy recesses in my mind.
Ah, this entry has gone in entirely different direction from what was intended. I did not mean to linger on that unsettling encounter! I shall do my best to forget it directly, and reenter the Dreamscape for a time. Its broken components must still be fixed, regardless of whether its Matriarch wishes to digest my head. I shall press on!