//------------------------------// // Twilight // Story: Essence of a Sunrise: That which is Left Behind // by maxxxxxx //------------------------------// Sunrise... She mused to herself, playing with the word silently on her tongue. It was a good name. A new life, a new start. To her, it was her first life but the sentiment was nice. My name, Vibrant Sunrise, Twilight said it meant a new start, but not just for me, it's a new start for both of us. She's beginning to move on. Is it right for me to push her though? It's what's best for me but, I don't think she's dealt with her grief yet, no it's likely that she's still holding on to some hope, it'll be hard for me but, I'll let her deal with it in her own time. I can't imagine the position she's in. She'll have to look at me everyday and think of her friend, I doubt she'll ever be able to let go as long as I'm around. I should keep her at a distance, emotionally. No, she'll need somepony and so will I. Besides, maybe, I can help her, maybe I can help her move on. But what about her friends? What about Rainbow Dash's friends? Even if I can help Twilight, she's different. I don't know if I'll ever be able to help them all move on. No, I need to think about myself first. I don't have a long life ahead of me and I want to live it being happy. If Rainbow Dash's friends can't let me do that then they can't be my friends... This is going to be hard for everyone, for a while... “We're here.” Twilight's voice jarred Sunrise from her thought's. Sunrise looked up from her wheel chair to what her friend proclaimed to be her home. “You live in a tree...” She said unenthusiastically, and with a decent amount of bemusement. “Yep! Welcome to Golden Oaks Library, your new home, until you get better at least.” “Wait.” She spun her head around, wincing in pain from her sore neck and from the tug of her stitches. After taking a moment to come down from the pain she looked up towards Twilight, taking care not to cause herself any more discomfort. “You live in a library?” Twilight smiled proudly. “Yes, I'm the librarian for Ponyville.” Her smile dissolved into a fretful air. “Is there something wrong with libraries? We have guest room on the second floor as well if..” “No, no no, that's not it. I think it's wonderful. I mean, I'm probably going to need something to do while I'm recovering so It's great.” She spoke quickly and reassuringly, nervously trying to comfort her friend... Her friend. My friend.. I guess the doctor was right. Her assurances seemed to work as Twilight's characteristic gentle smile returned to her face. “Great, because I have a lot of books. I have one series in mind that I think you'll enjoy. It's about an adventurous and daring pegasus who explores ancient runes and stops evil plots with her bare hooves and wits.” Her horn light up, enveloping the wheelchair's handles in her violet aura, she began pushing Sunrise towards the door as she magically opened it. “Sure, I'll give it a read.” She said as they entered the library's interior. Sunrise took in her new surrounding's. It seemed to be a very comprehensive collection. Twilight circled around in front of Sunrise. “Well, this is it. Welcome home. Your room is down that hall way. Spike should be back in a few minutes, he's just doing the finish touches to your room so if you don't mind waiting we can just talk for a bit... Or I could get you something to eat or drink?! What do you..” “It's okay Twilight, I'm not hungry and I wouldn't mind just talking. I really don't know anything about you so we could just talk if that's okay.” For just a brief moment, sadness flashed across Twilight's face. Sunrise felt a pang of depression at the sight. I knew it.. It's that look, she's looking for Rainbow Dash. This.... was it a mistake? Suddenly, Twilight forced her mood to normalize. She's not Rainbow Dash. Can she tell what I felt? It's like she can read me like a book. Am I that obvious or... Twilight thought to herself, forcing an artificial smile. “W- well what do you want to talk about?” She asked, hoping to avoid her thought's being further analyzed. Sunrise was more than happy to oblige. “I'm happy to see your lip is healing, It seemed much worse when we first met.” Twilight's eyes became wide. Her gaze shifted from Sunrise to the past as she softly felt her lip with her hoof. Sure enough, the gash had healed for the most part, but it was never the physical pain of her injury that hurt the most. Sunrise was taken aback when she saw tears welling up in Twilight's eyes. “Twilight? Are you okay?” She spoke softly, treading carefully around the seemingly fragile state her friend was in. She was surprised to find that she felt a fleeting feeling of fear for Twilight. I've never seen her like this. What happened? “Twilight?” She spoke with more emphasis, successfully snapping Twilight out of her daze. She looked nervously from the floor to the shelves, anything but the eyes of Sunrise. She felt exposed when she met those lilac eyes. It was as if her eyes alone we compelling her to confront her feelings. That thought alone unwillingly brought out an even more saddening thought. Oh Rainbow Dash.. The last thing we ever did together was fight. Why couldn't I just let it go?! If I had.. you would still be.. you would still be here. “It's Her isn't it?” The melancholy in Sunrise's voice was almost palpable. Twilight's gaze shot up, meeting Sunrise's. Tears began leaving Twilight's eyes, she gave a soft whimper. “We.. we had a fight, It was stupid and.. I couldn't let it go. I pushed her and pushed her, even though I knew my words were hurting her I just kept pushing because I thought I was right and she was wrong. Oh Sunrise, the last thing she ever did was hate me and it's all my fault. She flew away, even though I knew she was in pain I let her go. And.. and then, and then she died! I- I never got to apologize. Sunrise.. I'm a terrible..” “Stop that!” She yelled, glaring down at Twilight with her dissecting eyes. Her heart thumped hard and unsteadily. She took a deep breath, calming herself. I don't know what happened, but I know Twilight wouldn't hurt anypony intentionally and no matter what she said it was no excuse for hitting her. She's carrying so much guilt for no reason, and there's nothing I can do to take it away. Guilt is a hard thing to alleviate with logic or reason, and less so with comforting words. Damn it! Rainbow Dash is the only one who can make her feel better and she died! Rainbow Dash, you weren't much of a friend were you? No, I can't heal her, only time can heal her now. “Stop that Twilight, just stop it. If you say that your a terrible friend I wont listen to you. I wont help you hide in self pity just so you don't have to confront a guilt that you don't even deserve. You're wrong Twilight Sparkle, you are wrong. You feel guilty? Well you shouldn't! I know I don't know you very well but the doctor said you were a good and caring friend, even a princess thought highly of you. Use your head Twilight, you know, you know deep down, under that guilt that it's not your fault. You have no obligation to feel guilty and no one is going to think less of you for not feeling guilty and if they do then they aren't your friends!” In the wake of her reprimand, Twilight stood in dumb silence as Sunrise's word sank in. I, I can't.. I know she's right but I can't do it. I hurt Rainbow Dash and I need to feel guilty. It's all my fault! It's because of me that she's gone and.. What will she think of me if she comes back? If I don't feel guilty and she comes back, what if she still hates me? What if she doesn't forgive me? What if I lose her all over again! Her body was shaking and tears began pouring down her face. She shut her eyes tight and sniffled. She felt a hoof gently stroking her shoulder. She didn't look up, she couldn't look up. “Hey, I'm all done setting up the guest room and... Twilight? What's wrong!?” A small purple dragon padded over to Twilight's with an expression full of worry. Sunrise could tell he cared greatly for Twilight. So Spike was a dragon? “Yes Spike, everything's fine. Sorry for worrying you.” She wiped her eyes wither her foreleg, she smiled as Spike. “You sure?” “Yes Spike, I'm sure. Let's get dinner started, we've had a long day and I'm sure we're all hungry.” Spike smiled back at her, apparently convinced. Sunrise nodded in agreement. “If it's anything like what you made me for breakfast yesterday then I'm sure it will be great.” She smiled, her change in demeanor adding to the brightening of every ones' mood. “Wait, you mean the egg whites and strawberry pancakes? I made that!” Spike turned an accusing glance and Twilight who blushed in response. Rubbing the back of her head nervously she turned to Sunrise. “Well, um... I helped.” Spike rolled his eyes. “You brought me the strawberries from the fridge..” Sunrise's smile grew, at first giving a light chuckled that quickly grew to hearty bought of laughed. She wiped a tear from her eyes while carefully clutching her chest. It hurt to laugh but laughing felt better. The pain became even more worth it when Twilight and spike both joined in, her laughter becoming contagious. The three laughed warmly and happily as they made their way to the kitchen. For the first time, Sunrise felt at home, and it felt good.