My Harshwhinnial

by horizon


Chapteen 15: Meddel and the Elegantly Erudite Adventure in the City of the Dead (F)

(AN: Their's iMPROTANT arthurs note @ end of chacter!!! But first teh fic)

Chapter 15
"Meddel and the Elegantly Erudite Adventure in the City of the Dead"
By special guest author CLABORAIDER Fuzzyfurvert (AN: that's a secret until u read the AN @ end tho!!!!!)


The trip back to Nightmare City was quick, but rough.

The transition from bright daylight in the Equestrian sky to the dark, neon lit smog over Nightmare City happened in a blink.  I don't know if it was the change in atmospheric pressure or the drop in temperature or just the mystical teleportation between the realms of the living and dead, but Harshwhinnia was bucking under my hooves like a 'roided up bronco at the Interdenominational Mixed Martial Rodeo.  I'd taken home the gold five times in that competition.  Seven times in Synchronized Helicoptering, so I wasn't about to let a little turbulence stop me from flying straight to the wharf and the Nightmare Discotheque.

"Holy hayfries!  Look at all those tall buildings!"

"How did we get to Manehattan?  I thought we were going to the Crystal Empire?"

"Why does it smell like Big Mac's special smoking area back behind the barn that Ah'm not supposed to know about?"

Oh my bucking alicorn.  I knew I forgot something.

"Hey, listen up you three orphans!"  Heh, that's a good joke.  I should remember it for later use.  "Strap in and shut up!  As soon as we get to the other side of Nightmare City, I'm setting Harshwhinnia down next to the disco so I can say goodbye to my dead former fillyfriend, Twilcorn and get back my living and totally hot fillyfriend, Tripleheart.  I'm making this quick, then I'm taking you three back to the Flag Carrying Competition!"  

"We're not orphans!"

"Who the heck is 'Twilicorn?'  Do you mean Twilight Sparkle?"

"Ah'm still confused about this whole situation!  It don't make a lick of sense!"

If foalsitting was a sport, I'd have a gold medal in it.  I'm good with kids.  "Omba!  I said shut up!  I taught you to fly Apple Blossoms and got a gold medal for it.  That means I'm an expert and you're just a kid that doesn't know anything except how to fly 'cuz I taught you!  It doesn't have to make sense!"

"Meddel, stop arguing with children,"  Oh yeah, I'm forgotten she was onboard too.  I mentally slapped myself for that.  How could I forget the greatest mare alive, the most important mare in my life?  My pulse starts to race as she reaches into the cockpit, her perfect hoof circling my chest and heading for my lap.  "and watch where you're flying."

Her hoof grips Harshwehinnia's rudder and we swerve away from a tall brownstone that had jumped out from nowhere.  I try to swallow past the lump in my throat and adjust my seating, the confines of the cockpit are tight enough as is without adding anymore horseflesh to the mix.  I try to fight the feeling.  It's not Tripleheart.  It just looks like her.  Sounds like her.  Smells like her.  I breath in deeply as she draws her hoof back out now that we're not in imminent danger of flying into a Nightmare Apartment building.  I can smell the musk of an athletic workout and rubber with a hint of sandalwood.  It is the most alluring scent ever recorded by ponykind.  It's my mother's perfume.

My mom, Tripleharsh, is the world's greatest Games Inspector and chilli cook-off judge to ever grace Equestria.  I respect her more than any other pony.  She is also one of the coolest, hottest mares in the world and looks totally just like my fillyfriend.  Part of me thinks that's weird.  Another part of me thinks that's hot.  Another part thinks both of those other parts are weird and should really be watching where we're going before we run headlong into the giant draconequus that's standing in the middle of the city.

"What!"  I yank the rudder hard to dodge but the giant Discord is too fast and catches us with his freaky giant paw.  Harshwhinnia's controls start flashing alot of lights and making loud bleep bloop noises that I think means we're gonna crash.  We don't crash though, because he has us in his grip.

"My my Meddel, I thought you were good at games?"

"I'm good at Sports!"  I flip Discord the hoof and start pushing buttons to arm the missiles on my attack mooncopter.  A missile to the face will teach him for getting my talent wrong!  My Cutie Mark is a gold trophy for crying out loud!

"Shooting the ref in the face with missiles is against the rules, Meddel.  So is using a helicopter!"  Discord snapped his fingers and Harshwhinnia disappeared, dropping us into Discord's huge paw hand.  "If you want to win gold at telling your old girlfriend bye in the City of the Dead, you have to play by the rules."

"Buck you Discord!"  I grit my teeth and pull out my AK-47, but my mom put her hoof on my shoulder.

"Stop Meddel.  As a Game Inspector, I say he is right.  You must play by the rules or you will be...DISQUALIFIED!"  Tripleharsh frowned at Discord sternly.  It's the same look she gives me when she tells me to clean my room.  "Discord!  What are the rules so that Meddel can win?"

"Simple; he must reach the discotheque and his former beloved Twilicorn before midnight and tell her goodbye.  But!  There are no helicopters allowed.  Or guns."

My AK-47 turned into a pile of powerbars, and not the good granola and chocolate kind, but the yucky kind that are covered in pink yogurt stuff.  I hate pink yogurt.  It is like cryptonights to me, so I threw the powerbars down to the street.  It hit a biathlete.  That made me happy even though I was sad that Discord stole my gun.

"Oh, and one more rule: if Meddel dies, he loses."  Discord smiled like a big fat jerk.  "He loses all his gold medals!  And I get to keep his soul here forever and he will never become a quadricorn!"

Discord laughed like a big fat jerk too and then put us on the ground.  I was worried.  Mom looked mad.  Sweety Bellicorn and Scoots looked really confused because they are kids and don't understand grown-up stuff.  Apple Blossoms looked confused too, but she picked up one of the yogurt powerbars and sniffed it like she would eat it.  She instantly became my least favorite Cutie Mark Crusader.

"Come on.  I will not lose a game of sports and this is now a sports game!  We are in this together, so don't slow me down you dumb orphans!"

"We are NOT orphans!"  Sweety Bellicorn seemed mad for some reason, probably because she can't understand a joke.

"We might as well go along, Sweetie."  Scoots patted Sweety Bellicorn.  "The sooner he wins this game, the sooner we get back to the Flag Carrying Competition."  

"At least we'll have something to eat!  Ah think Discord made these all Apple flavored!"

I narrowed my eyes at Apple Blossoms.  OMBA!  I hate her so much right now!  But I can't get disqualified!  We only have until midnight to win so I turn toward the docks and start power trotting.  I am Meddel and I never lose at sports!