//------------------------------// // Twilight Sparkle Goes Batty Without Peaches // Story: Twilight Sparkle Goes 'Batty' for Peaches // by Palm Palette //------------------------------// Applejack hung limply in the air while Twilight gloated and cackled. Neither of them saw the new pony appear. “Applejack can't force you to eat the apple, but I can,” a softer but firm voice spoke. “What?” Twilight turned to face the new intruder. It was a trap. “The Stare.” “Aa–” Twilight's eyes bugged out and her mouth stopped moving and hung slack. She trembled before Fluttershy. Applejack squinted and averted her eyes. The attack wasn't aimed at her, but it was still terrifying to behold. “Eat. Your. Apple.” Fluttershy's command could not be ignored. Twilight's trembling hoof showed resistance, but she could not disobey. She grabbed the apple, and with a tear in her eye, bit it. Like before, the apple absorbed Twilight's batness, and it turned black and hard. Once again, Twilight was a plain ordinary unicorn. Fluttershy blinked and Twilight could move again. “No! My one-wingedness! You creeps!” Twilight looked as if she might lash out again, but crumbled under Fluttershy's disapproving eyeballs. “No fair! I was winning. What a lame dues ex machina.” “Fluttershy! Thank ya so much for showing up to help. Ah thought ya'd run away.” Applejack walked over to give Fluttershy a hug. “Oh, well, I was scared but, I thought about what you said and, well, I couldn't just abandon you.” Fluttershy nuzzled up against Applejack. “Um, you're still a bat.” “Augh, somepony please spare me from this sap.” Twilight stuck out her tongue. “Ah, well, Ah ran out of apples. Ah can't cure myself without them.” “A-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Twilight laughed. “Oh really? Well you're DOOMED! Doomed I say! I don't know why I didn't see this earlier, but your bat transformation wasn't interrupted—it was paused. As soon as you sink your fangs into something to eat you'll go mad with craving for it! Bwa-ha-ha-ha. Sucks to be you! Pun intended!” “...is that all?” Applejack held a hoof in front of her face. “This is going to suck. Pun not intended.” “Uh, Applejack?” Fluttershy inched away from her. With a crack, Applejack punched herself in the face. Twilight burst out laughing. Fluttershy meeped. “Pu.” Applejack spat out the fangs. “Uungh.” “Impressive, but you're still a bat.” “Ah'll manage somehow.” Applejack stared at her former fangs just sitting on the 'floor' of this weird cosmic landscape. “Uh, can ya get us back home, please?” “Hmmm, nah.” “Why you–” Fluttershy loomed over Twilight again. “Not until you–” Twilight pointed her hoof at Fluttershy. “–explain how you got here in the first place. Last time I checked pegasus can't go dimension hopping. Like I said, dues ex machina.” “That would be my doing.” The serene voice of Princess Celestia echoed across the starry void. “Twilight, I've put up with transgressions in the past, but this time you've–” “HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME YOU FATTY JUDGEY PANTS... PANTS!” Twilight exploded. “Twilight Sparkle! You–” Celestia snarled and charged up her horn. “GO FLUSH IT WITH THE REST OF YOUR FETID OPINIONS. YOU CAN'T CONTAIN ME ANYWAY. BADBYE.” Twilight vanished in a flash of her magic. Celestia sighed and hung her head low. “Oh, what could have been.” She shed a tear of regret, and turned to face the other two, who were bowing. “Please rise.” They did so, and faced her. Celestia hid her sadness and smiled for them. “Thank you, Fluttershy. I'm glad you overcame your fears and decided to help. I'd like to chat later, but for now Ponyville has a lot of cleanup to do, and we mustn’t forget about our lesser subjects.” The bats Twilight had summoned to this realm gathered around Celestia. “There are a lot of confused bats and they could use your help.” Fluttershy nodded and vanished along with the bats in Celestia's sunny magic. “Applejack, please walk with me.” Clestia motioned with her head for Applejack to follow. “Here, Princess?” The starry landscape stretched on forever and was very quiet without Twilight. Applejack suddenly felt self-conscious of her freakish batty appearance. She followed behind Celestia, but kept her profile low. She wasn't worthy of walking in her ruler's footsteps. Celestia paused and waited for Applejack to catch up. She was in for a long wait. “Applejack, what do you know about power?” “Uh, it's powerful?” Applejack hazarded. That was a safe, but stupid bet. “It corrupts. I've seen it many times. Far too many.” Celestia got tired of waiting and requested, “Walk alongside me, please. I'd rather not talk over my shoulder.” Applejack walked up next to her, reluctantly. “Corrupts? Like Twilight?” Celestia nodded, sadly. “And other students of mine in times long past like Sombra and Chrysalis.” “Wha—but those are tyrants!” Applejack shuddered. “I feel helpless, Applejack. It's happened so many times before, and it's happening again now. I can't do this on my own.” Celestia held her head up high and stopped walking. “And I won't have to, any longer.” “What do ya mean? Have ya found somepony who can help?” Applejack felt nervous. Was Celestia actually suggesting...? “Yes, you, Applejack. I've never seen a better candidate for this.” Celestia smiled at her. “Me!? But—wait. What do ya mean ya won't be alone? What are ya planning?” Applejack started to edge away, but Celestia wrapped a wing around her and pulled her closer. She paused. “Well, you see–” Okay, so it seems that Celestia's going to ramble on for a while. That isn't particularly exciting or funny, so how about a joke instead? How many Sweetie Bots does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but who delivers the baby? Amazon.com! Bum Dum Psh. Yeah, okay, sorry that was bad. “–the point is that you've earned this, Applejack. See for yourself.” Celestia brought Applejack to her hall of Youtube videos. Due to an animation error, her horn didn't glow when she turned them on, but it was still magical nonetheless. “Woah.” Applejack broke off to take a look at one video which showed an excessively grinning pink pony hopping to her own tune. She blanched when the camera got splattered in blood. “Ah, whoops, he he. I don't know that got on my playlist.” Celestia turned that video off. Applejack looked at the screen across from that video. A blue pegasus with a rainbow mane was chained to a wall. A large white stallion holding a whip entered the room, but that's not what the camera focused on. Applejack flushed red. She wanted to turn away, but she was morbidly fascinated. “Ack. I have no idea how that got there, either.” Celestia flushed red and turned that video off too. The two of them glanced down the hallway at the other animations. Various scenes of less than appropriate content were on full display. “Sorry, sorry. I thought I cleaned out my browser history. This was a bad idea. Let's forget about these videos, please?” “Ee-okay.” Applejack too busy recovering to argue. That image was going to be burned into her mind for a long time. Celestia turned off the rest of the videos too. “Well, how about a song instead. Ahem. I've been watching over you–” “Woah, woah woah. Hold it. That's kind of creepy. Actually, after what Ah just saw, That's exceptionally creepy.” “Well, so much for the fanfare. I guess I'll skip the flashy transformation sequence too.” Celestia zapped Applejack with her magic. “Te-dah! You're an alicorn now.” “Woah.” Princess Applejack spread her new feathery wings reflexively (or perhaps she was still thinking of that video). “Wow, they feel like actual wings and not things Ah should be breathing with.” She tried flapping with them but they moved out of sync and she landed on her side. Celestia giggled. “Careful, Applejack. You can't expect to have wings for two seconds and suddenly know how to use them. That takes time.” “Uh, but I—oh nevermind.” Applejack got back up and dusted herself off. While she was at it, she might as well try out her horn too. Applejack scrunched up her face and looked constipated but nothing happened—just like actual constipation. “Don't worry, Applejack, you'll get the hang of magic before the next scene. It helps if you think of apples instead of magic since that is your special talent, after all.” Applejack's horn lit up with a brilliant red glow. “Ah think I got it!” “Just remember your promise; you won't use your new powers or position for personal gain and you won't allow yourself to succumb to corruption.” Celestia stared deeply into Applejack's eyes. Applejack returned her stare and nodded. “Ah promise, Celestia. No temptation. No corruption. Ah won't let you down.” “Good. We have a chance at reforming Twilight, but you'll only have one shot at this, so make it count.” Celestia powered her magic and returned Applejack to Ponyville. *** Twilight never saw it coming. Crunch. Something hit her in the head. “What? Who's there?!” Twilight swiveled around looking for the intruder, but she didn't see anypony. “Spike! That wasn't funny.” The was no response. The dragon was asleep in his basket. The only sign of where the attack came from was an open window in her bedroom. She looked out, but didn't spot anything. The streets were still swampy and it would take weeks for the lame less-magical ponies to clean up her mess. It didn't make sense for anypony to be out there at night. As she moved her head, she noticed a bit of added weight to it. Apparently, that thing that hit her had gotten stuck. Twilight turned on a light and crossed her eyes to look at the thing impaled on her horn. It was reddish. Juice dribbled down her face and she tasted it. “Apple juice!? Yuck!” Spike groaned in his sleep, but didn't awaken. Twilight tried to swat the thing off, but it didn't budge. It didn't even wiggle—or dent. It was harder than diamond. “What?” She rolled over on her back and tried to force it off with all four hooves. That only gave her a headache because she was essentially trying to pull her horn out of her skull. Groaning, she righted herself and tried to solve this dilemma the obvious way: with magic. A glow lit up at the base of her horn and spread upwards. When it touched the apple, it fizzled instead of doing what she wanted it to do. That was... a new experience for her. Magic always worked. Always. “What!?” Twilight scrunched up her face and used more power. Nothing happened again. She refused to give up. She used even more power. Sparks flew from the base of her horn. Surely that would– Nothing still. More power! The base of her horn glowed white. She just had to overwhelm this pesky– Nothing. Her face dripped sweat and contorted into her deepest scowl. Beams of light erupted. Her power was over 9000. Nothing. She tried so hard that her face turned, er, purple. Well, purpler. Yeah... “Ah see you've gotten acquainted with my magic-nullifying Liberty Apple,” Applejack said. Twilight hadn't seen her enter the room, but there she was. Twilight panted to catch her breath. Her breathing slowed and her mouth slacked open as her mind processed the image of no-longer-bat-pony Applejack. “Wha-what? When did you get a horn?” Twilight forcibly unfolded one of Applejack's wings. “Feathers? That's not bat-like at all. Applejack you look like a—a princess.” Applejack grinned, evilly. A dawning realization hit Twilight. She crossed her eyes and looked up at her horn. “What? What did you do to me?!” “Can you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep here,” Spike muttered and buried his head under his pillow. “Sorry, Spike,” Applejack said. She lowered her voice and spoke only as loud as she needed to make herself heard. “Twilight, Ah'm only going to say this once, so pay attention. Y'all have been abusing yer magic, so Ah figure a year of living like an earth pony should teach ya some humility.” Twilight snorted. “There's more. After the year's over, if ya've been good, the apple will turn green and ya can take it off. But if ya've been bad, It'll turn yellow and it'll never come off. Goodnight, Twilight.” Applejack vanished in a flash of her magic. “What? But you can't just–” Twilight raged when she realized that she was talking to herself. “Aaargh!” “Twilight, go to bed,” Spike complained, completely oblivious. *** In the morning, Twilight groaned at the pile of books in front of her. Naturally, they'd fallen short of her need to find information on removing alicorn curses. The only book that mentioned it basically said ‘politely ask the alicorn.’ That wasn't helpful at all. To console herself in her misery, she'd asked Spike to procure another batch of her favorite food: peaches. He had a knack for pulling through for her, and she was confident he'd succeed despite the mess in town. That's why she still kept him around, after all. She even put up with his whininess and allowed him some degree of sass. A good assistant was worth the trouble even if she had to chew on a bone of contention every once in a while. “I'm back. I found some that were still in stock at that fancy diner you always scoff at. It's not quite as many as you wanted but I'd have to go to Dodge Junction to get more and that trip would take too long. I didn't want to keep you waiting.” Spike came in carrying a basket of five peaches. He looked up at her hopefully. She'd asked for twenty. “Spike! I– This'll do, for now. You can get the rest later.” Twilight looked at the peaches and drooled. She frowned when her magic failed her, again. “You're welcome,” Spike muttered to himself. Twilight debased herself and picked up a peach like an earth pony. She felt dirty touching it with her hooves. It didn't matter—the anti-magic apple-cork on her horn was driving her insane, but the sweet, deliciousness of peaches would prove a wonderful, if temporary, escape. She rolled it into her mouth and bit down on it. Crunch. “Pu!” She spit the disgusting apple out of her mouth. “Spike, what the buck? I asked for peaches—you know I hate apples!” Spike winced and shielded himself with his arms. “I swear, it was a peach just a moment ago.” Twilight grabbed another peach. She inspected it closely. It had the soft peach feel. It had the fuzzy peach skin. It trembled in her grasp as she sniffed it. It smelled like a peach, too. She opened her mouth and bit it. Crunch. Apple. “Pu!” Her eyes shrank and drifted away from each other. “What's happening?!” Applejack appeared in a flash of her magic. “Oh, did Ah forget to mention? It does that too: everything you eat will turn into an apple.” Applejack vanished again. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” *** Applejack teleported away to a hill overlooking Sweet Apple Acres. Even way out there she still had to clamp her hooves over her ears to drown out Twilight scream of agony. Celestia's sun shone down on her, disapprovingly. “Well, okay,” Applejack confessed, “maybe a little corruption.”