The Storm Riders seemed to acclimate to life on the Vineyard, quickly. Grapes had allowed the Riders to start on the job, and they had gotten some on-the-job training with the various duties. Including fertilizer duty, done often by the elegant Icestorm, much to Grapes’ chagrin. They seemed to accept her little ‘I’m in charge’ speech with aplomb, for the most part, but during her listing of what they’re NOT there to do, a hoof was raised.
“Excuse me, Miss Sour Grapes, but... ‘Fooling around in the frames’?” Queenie asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“It only takes one instance of finding a pair of ponies doing something wildly inappropriate beneath the grape vines, that one simply MUST include the activity in the opening speech,” Grapes said deadpan.
“You’ve, seriously, found a couple... doing that in your field?” Queenie asked, sounding quite surprised.
“Eyup,” Grapes replied. Icestorm tittered; Sirocco, after a quickly whispered explanation from Queenie covered her mouth with her hooves, obviously laughing herself silly. Stormfront, Firestormer, and Squall all chuckled. Earshot just looked confused.
“Is this one of those things I wouldn’t understand until I’m older?” he asked.
“Pretty much, Earshot,” Grapes replied.
“Okay,” he said cheerfully.
======================================================
After that, life in the Vineyard seemed to fall into a routine. Grapes were picked, weighed, and put into the processing shed, which now had Icestorm doing the de-stemming, and de-seeding. Grapes insisted that the fertilizer be collected in rotation, rather than have Queenie do it exclusively. In addition, the Storm Riders were on an hourly wage, the old time-clock being pressed into service, once again. This was due to the Storm Riders being the most reliable farmhooves that Grapevine Hills had ever hired, and the nature of their Weather Bureau job. It had not happened, yet, but should the team be called into service to wrangle a rogue storm, all they had to do was clock out. Sour Grapes was not quite sure what she’d do, with them gone, but she would figure out something. Grapes was glad they were here, but losing a day’s work chafed a bit, no matter how noble the reason. On the other hoof, it was not like the day’s work was being lost due to a multitude of other reasons; a lot of them being because of a bad lot of temporary workers.
In the meantime, however, things were getting done. Grapes found herself with more free time than usual, because the Storm Riders truly did not need her to constantly check their progress. Like Stormfront, they all worked steadily, responsibly, taking breaks, when needed, and followed orders without the usual grumbling. The last few Earth Ponies left, feeling like they were being edged out by the pegasai, and went to work on the other farms around the area. Strangely enough, the only pony left over from the original batch was Thistledown, which surprised Sour Grapes to no end.
“I’m kind of surprised you stayed on,” Grapes said, when she went to chat with Thistledown. “Why did you want to stay?”
“Oh, well... In all honesty, I can’t fault your style, Miss Grapes. You may be a tough taskmistress, but you’re more than fair, and make sure of our health,” Thistle replied. “The only time you ever exerted your authority, you were in the right of things. Also, these new coworkers are simply divine. Three gorgeous pegasai stallions...”
“Oh. You’re sidesaddle,” Grapes uttered, as if this revelation confirmed something she had suspected.
“‘Sidesaddle’?”
“You prefer to date your own gender?” Grapes supplied.
“Oooooh. You know, I rather like that better than ‘colt-cuddler’. Sounds less... Derogatory,” the green and purple pony observed thoughtfully.
“Glad you like it.”
======================================================
There came a day in the waning Summer season that duties threatened to overwhelm the young winemaker. Sour Grapes was running late in fixing lunch for her pegasai farmhooves, but she needed to go to town to check on a couple of important shipments to the Vineyard. If she stayed to fix lunch, she’d miss both the Pony Express, and the Glass-makers’ Guild before they left for lunch. It was a conundrum.
She was looking through the root cellar for something quick to prepare and wouldn't burn her house down in her absence when a shape filled the door frame at the top of the stairs. "Hello? Grapes? Is that you?"
"Stormfront?" Grapes asked, looking up at the cellar door.
"Yep. Just checking to see if someone didn't leave a door open..." he chuckled coming down. "Last thing we need is someone falling down the stairs. What are you doing down here?"
"Looking for something to make a quick lunch. I've got chores in town, but I can't leave you without sustenance."
"I'm guessing you're in a hurry then," Stormy surmised astutely
"Kind of, yeah," Grapes uttered.
"Well tell you what. If you need to go, then go. I can spare a little time to make lunch for the crew."
"You can cook?" Grapes asked, coming out of the cellar.
"Of course I can cook. I might not be a four star chef but Mom worked in a restaurant and taught me how to make tasty yet filling meals. She said it was the duty of a mother to make sure her son wouldn't have to go graze for a meal,” Stormfront said proudly.
“Okay, then,” Grapes said sounding quite stunned. “Thank you...”
"Not a problem. We're no stranger to having to feed ourselves when on a mission, they usually let me cook because I put up the least fuss. Now go, do your thing. I got you covered here."
“Thanks again, Stormfront,” Grapes said with genuine gratitude. “I don’t get ponies offering to make my job easier... Ever... So I really appreciate it.”
"Should I use your kitchen or the one at the Barracks?"
"Whichever works best for you," Grapes said, then grinned a bit. "Just don't burn down either place." He smiled and headed to the shelves and just as she was exiting the root cellar she heard him quietly say "...only happened once." She wasn't sure if he was teasing her or not.
Sour Grapes quickly made her way to town, practically galloping the whole way there. She needed to make sure the corks, and bottles were going to arrive on time. There were several barrels that were ready to be decanted into bottles, this season, and she needed the supplies to be there. Grapes was only too glad to arrive well before both places closed for lunch. Mister Bottleneck was accommodating enough to get in one last bit of business before lunch, confirming and adjusting the order to Grapes' needs. Ms. Stopper on the other hand was her usual obstructionist self, seemingly taking the last-minute business as a personal affront. How the two of them ever kept a business going between them was a mystery to Grapes, but it somehow all evened out in the end.
Grapes, glad to have gotten that bit of business taken care of, started back toward the Vineyard, with a feeling of satisfaction. She paused by the Apple Family apple stand, feeling generous enough to pick up some dessert for the crew.
Applejack was there, no doubt it was her turn at the stand, because Granny Smith was in the rocking chair behind her snoring rather loudly, making noises and the odd half-sentence in her sleep. "Well howdy, Cousin. What brings you to town? Thought you were keeping your new farmhooves on short reins."
"Well I finally got a bunch with a good work ethic, dear cousin. And how have you been, hm? I see you picked the prime spot in the square. Not too far from Sugarcube Corner, and right across from Carousel Boutique... Did you choose the venue?"
"Snxxxx... Murf. Who in tarnation painted the kitten?"
"Where?" Grapes asked, looking around for the aforementioned feline.
"Oh, pay no attention ta Granny. She was up awful late last night and insisted on helpin' me with tha stand t’day. Dunno what she's dreamin’ bout but Ah think it's cider-induced," Applejack mumbled, tucking the blanket a little more about the old green pony. "An’ for YOUR information, this here spot's perfect for sellin' apples. Why we're here in the shade where our product won't get too hot, an’ people who duck in here to cool off will have a chance to look at somethin’ sweet, juicy and round."
"Just seems interesting that you chose here to put the stand... Just the perfect place to watch a certain unicorn at work..."
"Ah certainly did not. It's just... Only coincidence that Ah can see glimpses of Rarity's marshmallow white coat through the windows over yonder," Applejack protested insincerely.
"Ah know... Zzzzzzzz... Ah'll put the earmuffs on the cookie," Granny Smith uttered from her dreams.
"Oh reeeealy... You know, you've been acting a mite... peculiar about that filly, ever since that storm-induced sleepover you had at Twilight's,” Grapes observed, casually ignoring Applejack’s momentary dishonesty for the moment.
"Oh p'shaw! She's jest a good friend, that's all. We came to an understandin’ that night. I'm a little down-to-earth, she's a little Hoity-Toity but when push comes to shove we have each other's flanks... BACKS! We have each other's Backs." Grapes was very obviously trying not to laugh at Applejack’s Freudian slip. The brown unicorn did so love her schadenfreude, especially concerning something her dear cousin, and her rather artistic friend were both in denial about.
“So... No actual yearning to catch a glimpse, then? No stray hopes that she’ll step out into the sunlight, with a craving for some of your apple treats?” Grapes asked oh-so-casually. “Then inviting you back to the shop for a... fitting?”
"Oh now that there's just a fabrication. Me and Rarity? Can you imagine it? Why we'd be compatible as..."
"...vanilla ice cream and apple pie, please," murmured Granny Smith with the sort of timing that made Applejack BLUSH. Grapes leaned against the stand, snickering.
"My dear Sour Grapes, what on Equestria is so funny?" the fashonista asked of the chortling winemaker. Grapes blinked, aghast, at Rarity and her rather fan-bucking-tastic timing, then collapsed laughing hysterically. "Uhm... Applejack, darling, do you know what's wrong with Sour Grapes?"
"Ahhhh... She's just... laughing at something Granny said in her sleep," Applejack replied, unconsciously running a hoof through her mane. "Ah thought you were in your shop this time of day."
“Well, darling, I found myself a touch famished, and decided to come out for a bite of lunch. Amazing how allowing one’s creative juices to flow works up quite the appetite,” Rarity uttered, remaining blissfully ignorant of both Applejack’s current nervousness, and the light blush that graced the orange earth pony’s cheeks. “I saw Sour Grapes, here, and decided to come over and say ‘hello’ to the both of you. And those apple fritters do look simply divine, darling. How much for two? Sweetie Belle’s sure to want a snack when she gets home from school.”
“Okay! I’m good, now,” Grapes said, standing back on her hooves. Despite her declaration, she was still having the occasional giggle fit.
"Well, tell you what. Since it's you, Rarity, I'll let you have the two fritters for the price of one," Applejack offered with a shy smile.
“Oh, darling, I couldn't!”
“Oh, p’shaw, Rarity, yer a friend, an’ Sweetie Belle’s been a right good friend t’ Applebloom,” Applejack declared, obviously not going to take ‘no’ for an answer.
“Thank you, Applejack,” Rarity said, handing over the bits.
"So how's business goin'?"
“Oh, it’s been marvelous, darling! I’ve been quite swamped, ever since the fashion show...” Rarity uttered with a gleeful expression on her face, then double-taked, remembering that the chocolate brown unicorn was standing there, still looking quite amused. “Oh! Oh, my dear Sour Grapes, I apologize, again, but I’m afraid your vest has been pushed back,” the purple-maned unicorn added, sounding genuinely remorseful. “I promise, darling, I’ll have you a whole week’s worth of pruning vests, as soon as my queue clears up, and I can get them in. And I simply will not accept payment for more than the original vest you ordered. I feel simply awful about forgetting you, darling.”
“But... you’re making me a whole set of vests...” Grapes protested.
“Darling, you put in that order, ages ago, and I forgot! I simply must make it up to you!” Rarity uttered dramatically. “I insist!”
“Well if you insist, I’ll accept,” Grapes said with a chuckle. “At least the materials for the vests will cost less than that gown you designed, so not as big a loss.”
“Oh bother! I knew there was something I was forgetting,” Rarity uttered facehoofing.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m not even going to the Gala. What say you and your friends stop by the Vineyard afterwards, and tell me about it?” Grapes asked. “I’ll provide some down-home refreshments, and very good wine, and you can tell me how things went. Aye Jay can come too, and you all can tell me about your best night ever...” Grapes made the offer, knowing that her cousin, and Rarity would probably somebody to gripe to, and possibly a shoulder to bawl upon.
"Well.. Ah'd say that's a done deal. Ya’ve said you didn' care for all tha prancin' about with them, so’s Ah never ‘spected you'd go. So sure, Ah guess we could let ya know what went on," Applejack replied.
"Oh that sounds delightful, darling. Thank you. I'm sure we'll all be able to regale you with our time at the Gala. T’is a pity you don't wish to go. I'm sure you'd be able to liven up the festivities," Rarity said cheerfully.
"Uh... Rarity? I'm likely to tell some noblepony off," Grapes uttered.
"Like she said: You'd be tha life o’ tha party with them old stiffs," Applejack uttered with a grin. Grapes made a rude noise.
"No... no.. not th'mangos! Use the pears!" snored Granny as the group chuckled
“Well as fun as this whole conversation has been, I stopped by to pick up a couple of pies, Aye Jay,” Grapes said, giving Applejack the proper amount of bittage for the confections.
"Tha's it.. come t' Granny, Mister Hasslehoof. Lemmie help you out of them duds,” Granny uttered, a slightly lecherous look on her wrinkled face. Grapes blinked, and collapsed laughing once again.
"Oh... oh dear..." Rarity giggled.
"Awwwww, Granny!" groaned Applejack in over dramatic anguish. "Ah swear.. no more late nights for her."
"I... I... I can't BREATHE!" Grapes laughed, pounding a hoof on the ground.
“Oh my my my... I believe I shall take my leave,” Rarity tittered, gathering up her fritters, a slight blush coloring her white cheeks. “I must say, this was a most entertaining break.”
“I’ll say,” Grapes chortled, as she got back onto her hooves, yet again.
“Farewell to you both,” Rarity said, as she turned, and trotted back to her shop.
“You’re staring at her plot, aren’t you?” Grapes uttered deadpan, as she smirked.
"AH AM NOT..." she started crying out before catching herself and dropping her volume. "*cough* Ah am NOT starin' at her plot, thank-you very much."
“Sure, Aye Jay,” Grapes uttered, taking her pies. “See you later, Cuz...”
Applejack "Harumphed" and turned back to her work, and as Grapes took her leave she glanced over at Granny who opened her eyes a crack, smiled a impish little grin and winked before snuggling back into her chair. Grapes grinned, and winked back at Granny Smith, before heading back to the Vineyard.
======================================================
There was a fair number of the pegasai she had seen in town lined up along her fence, when Sour Grapes finally reached Grapevine Hills. The Fillies were too busy watching the Farmhooves going about their business to even notice Grapes coming up behind them. She was able to get along side of them and listen in on the conversations without being noticed.
"Not bad... not bad at all."
"Grapevine Hills has never looked better..."
"I kinda find it a little weird... you know, Pegasai being so... 'dirty'." That last comment made the row giggle. Then Stormy walked over to the water trough and bend his head down to pick up the large ladle in it and begin pouring water over his sweaty gray frame.
"When Twilight said they had a pegasus farmhoof here I never knew she meant a whole group..."
"I think they came after the big one. Oh he's very nice."
"Oh Wait for it girls... Here it comes." Sufficiently 'soggy', Stormfront unfurled his wings in a broad sweeping motion, that Grapes could hear from here. He beat them several times, shaking the water from his body in an impressive glittering spray. the peanut gallery cooed and Grapes noticed that their own wings had all opened up wide and proud as if in response to the show.
"AHEM!"
Their wings all SNAPPED closed and the rainbow of admirers turned about to see Sour Grapes standing there looking stern as a schoolmarm. "Uh oh."
"Aren't you supposed to be clearing clouds, somewhere, ladies?" she asked in that deadly-sweet tone she loved to use.
"We're... on break?" one said weighing her words carefully Before looking at her bare hoof and mock-gasping. "Well now.. Look at the time! We better get back to work." another said as they began to take off in a small flock, the ponies getting in one another's way as they achieved lift off. Grapes trotted up to the gate, chuckling.
"Great googlie mooglie, Stormy's got fans."
"Who's got fans?" Said a recognisably tomboyish voice behind her. Turning her head the familiar colors of Rainbow Dash assaulted her eyes. Grapes casually pointed to Stormfront. Dash shaded her eyes and took a look. Then she snickered. "You know... I was beginning to think that the rumors around Ponyville were not true. I mean yeah, Applejack isn't one to make stuff up but still... Pegasai doing Earth Pony stuff? I Hope your crop doesn't come out tasting 'airy', Sour Grapes."
"You don't eat wine grapes, Rainbow Dash," Grapes said deadpan.
"You know what I meant," Dash counter-deadpanned before smirking. "That reminds me, The weather guild asked me to drop by and get your plan for the upcoming season. Of course now that you got your own team of Pegasai you're probably gonna just have them do it for you. Very slick of you, you got them working the fields and can give you custom weather on demand."
"You know, I didn't think about that."
"Well, personally I hope you keep the guild on the payroll, even if it's for the big stuff," Rainbow Dash said, with a lazy shrug. "It's nice to have some ponies for your property but in the end you probably wanna keep the local economy strong."
"I'm all for doing that. Especially if it keeps those fillies away... Why is there a circle of clouds up there?" Grapes asked. Dash looked up, then started to laugh hard enough she had to land. Grapes levitated a single burgundy grape, carefully aimed, spun the single grape until it was a blur, and sent it shooting up into the circle of clouds.
"OW!"
"Okay... I may lose all my burgundy grapes, but this could therapeutic."
Dash laughed harder and waved a hoof. "You should... *gasp* use the rotten ones."
"These are the soured ones. I don't let them get rotten, when the soured ones can be used to make burgundy," Grapes said, casually pew pewing the clouds with a few more grapes. There was a change in the shape of the ring of clouds. It dissipated a moment.. then came back together again as what looked like a face... a face with crossed eyes and an extended tongue.
"Oops... Looks like they figured out who was shooting fruit at them."
"Yeah. The problem is that I'm still having fun," Grapes said, peppering the face with soured grapes. She then reared to her hind legs, cupping her hooves around her muzzle. "This is a VINEYARD, you goits, NOT A PEEP SHOW! DON'T MAKE ME GET THE WATERMELONS!" The cloud-face dispersed, and briefly changed into an exclamation point, before dissolving into wisps and the pegasai fillies fled back to Ponyville.
Rainbow Dash was still laughing. "I would have payed good bits to see you chucking watermelons at them!"
"I know, right? But then I'd have had to pay good bits TO chuck watermelons at them... I've already made wine out of the ones Applejack gave me," Grapes laughed, having obviously enjoyed herself.
"You're kidding. Watermelon Wine?"
"It's one of a line I like to call 'Applejack Wagers'. She brings me something she thinks I can't make a potent potable out of, and I prove her wrong."
"Heheh. Well if you need someone to act as a taste-tester, let me know and I'll clear my flight schedule for it. I'm not SO irresponsible that I'd drink and fly."
"Still got to age a bit, but I'll be sure to let you know when I'm tapping the barrel. Oh, and tell the Weather Guild that we'll keep the same schedule as always. Oh... And I'll slip you extra twenty bits a week to help me make sure those pegasai fillies take their breaks, ELSEWHERE, if you'd be so kind... I don't want to have to start a watermelon patch... It's too late in the season, for one thing," Grapes said, coming up with rapid-fire ideas. "If Aye Jay didn't use her soured apples for scumpy, I'd ask her if I could have a barrel or two of them for ammunition."
"I'll spread the word that you want them to keep their distance." Rainbow paused a moment then smirked. "So is it true?"
"I do not understand the question," the chocolate brown unicorn uttered, looking confused. "Is what true?"
"Your farmhoof over there. The Big one. Does he have big wings?" Dash asked.
"Yes. Yes he does. Twilight said Stormfront's wingspan was on par with Princess Celestia's."
"Woah... that's big. I almost bust a gut when she started saying 'well-endowed' to describe him. She caught herself but I could tell that was what she almost said," Rainbow Dash sniggered.
"I did warn her that turn of phrase tends to lead many a pony mind straight to the gutter," Grapes observed with a smirk. "Even mine, and I'm about as big a nerd as Twilight."
"Anyways if that pony's wings are that big then you may save a fortune in shipping stuff back and forth to town... And of course you KNOW what they say about Pegasai with big wings. Right?" Dash asked with a smirk.
"No. But I'm sure you're going to tell me," Grapes uttered.
Dash's expression changed as she lost the smile. "No... Really. You know what they say about them? Cause I keep hearing that expression and nopony's filled me in on it yet."
"Brace yourself, I'm about to talk nerdy," Grapes deadpanned. "*ahem* If the speculation about a stallion's wing size is anything like the earth pony speculation about a stallion's hoof size, then the going hypothesis is that a pegasus' wing size is directly proportional to their... er... endowment."
Rainbow Dash stared at Grapes a moment, then facehoofed with a long giggle. "Ohhhhh maaaaaaan! That's hilarious! You mean that... the size of... and... Oh man, no wonder the girls get so weird around Big Macintosh. Okay I think I'm good now."
"You asked," Grapes said with a smirk.
"Yeah yeah. Okay I'm outta here." She paused then glanced back at where Stormfront was stretching. His wings extending to their full span accompanied with a deep yawn. "If that's true I don't know if that would be a curse or a blessing for him. Seeyas."
"See ya. I'll be sure to let you know when the watermelon wine's ready for tasting," Grapes said grinning. "You'll even be first in line."
Now that the excitement had died down, Sour Grapes could actually smell the lunch that Stormfront had cooked for the crew. She actually caught her pace quickening in spite of herself while she turned into the yard and down towards the outdoor table that the Storm Riders were seated at. Looked like a fairly large lunch consisting of a soup, a salad and... Was that fresh-baked bread? She had underestimated Stormfront's talent in the kitchen, but she made a mental not to NOT tell Applejack or no doubt she would be hearing AJ say "Wrangle that bronco and put a bridal on him, he's a keeper." for months.
"Hey, what smells so good?" Grapes asked as she trotted up to the table.
"Oh! Grapes! Good to see you back," Stormfront said with a smile. "I made a nice vegetable broth and made some salad to back it up. Then I kinda thought it looked lonely and made some bread to bulk it out a little... Then I uh... felt that it needed a big finish so... I hope you're not upset but I made a cake for dessert."
"Oh... Well no, but I went and bought some apple pies from Aye Jay. Guess we can have those with dinner,” Grapes observed, pondering, briefly, if she should be apprehensive about Stormy baking something.
"Well... we COULD have the Pies now. The Cake just came out of the oven and needs to cool a little," Stormy admitted, motioning over to where a spongy-looking coral pink Cylinder was sitting in her window. I hope you don't mind me using some of the strawberries Applejack left here.”
"I was going to try and make wine out of those..." Grapes said thoughtfully. "But if the cake's good, I probably won't mind too much. Anyway, I've got crates of the things... Even if you used forty strawberries per square inch, I'd still have plenty."
"We can always give a slice to Miss Applejack so she knows some of her bet went to a worthy cause,” Stormfront said with a smile. “It's something my mom taught me.. Strawberry Upside-down Cake. I hope you like it."
"Your mom sounds cool, Stormy," Grapes said, as she levitated the two pies to the table.
"I was lucky to have a mother like her. I was... somewhat less than graceful when I was Earshot's age," Stormfront replied, as he served Grapes some soup. Grapes smiled, sipping her broth, and then eyed the salad. It looked good, well most of it did... The spinach, carrots, and celery and onions looked very appealing but the heaping quantity of alfalfa did nothing for her appetite. Since she was a child she remembered alfalfa being the bane of her existence. It didn't matter that it had a high protein content and highly digestible fiber, and was "Good for you", she despised it. Stormfront on the other hand had his muzzle deep in a bowl that seemed to be nothign BUT the vegetation that haunted her childhood memories.
"Ugh..." Grapes uttered with a sigh.
"Is something wrong?" Stormfront asked, mercifully swallowing before speaking. She wasn't sure she would have liked seeing him speak with a mouth full.
"I'm... not a fan of alfalfa,” Grapes admitted, helplessly, not really wanting to show any disrespect for Stormy’s efforts, despite her aversion to the dreaded grass.
"Really?” Stormy asked.
"It's been something of a bane of my foalhood," Sour Grapes uttered, making a face.
"Ohhh,” Stormy said seeming genuinely surprised. As if it didn't occur to him that such a thing was possible. "I'm sorry... I always thought it was a treat."
"Guess Maneland couldn't get alfalfa, much?"
"Yeah. Living halfway up a mountain kinda limits availability to... well.. what the customers wanted, And now that I look back on things, Alfalfa wasn't high on their priorities either,” the big gray pegasus mused, thoughtfully.
"I never liked it. I'll never attempt to make a beverage out of it either,” Grapes asserted.
"Well... if you don't want it, I won't be hurt if you pick it out of your salad. In fact if you slide it down this way I'll eat your alfalfa for you," Stormy offered with a smile.
"You are a prince in a farmhoof's feathers, Stormy," Grapes said, sliding the bowl down. The other diners about the table chuckled and continued to eat.
"So what did you do in town, Miss Grapes?" Earshot asked curiously.
"Oh took care of the wine bottles, and corks, teased Applejack about her crush, bought a couple of apple pies, laughed at Granny Smith's lewd fantasies about Hasslehoof..."
That last comment brought a lot of laughter around the table. Although Sirocco did ask "Who is Hasslehoof?"
"He's an actor, and singer, Sirocco. Big hit in Germaney,” Grapes replied.
"And he is pleasing to the eyes then?" Sirocco asked, looking at Grapes.
"It's a matter of opinion, but the consensus is that he is,” the brown unicorn replied with a shrug.
"Ah. Remind me to see if they have any of his music at the Recorded music disc store then. He sounds interesting."
"They're called records, Sirocco."
======================================================
A few days later, Grapes found the Storm Riders all doing some manner of preparation after they had done their farm duties. Squall was creating some manner of wooden carving, a very impressive one at that. Queenie and Earshot were decorating the barn for some sort of quiet celebration. Firestormer seemed to go into town, after work, obviously searching for something. Grapes was not sure what he wanted, but he was not asking her for any help. Sirocco on the other hoof had come back from Ponyville with some records. Some Hasslehoof, but others did not seem to the exotic pegasus’ taste. Grapes was not sure what was going on, so she finally confronted Queenie on the matter.
“Excuse me, but what the hay is going on?” Grapes asked, raising an eyebrow, at the decor.
“Stormfront’s birthday is coming up,” Queenie said as she hung up some streamers. “Honestly, we didn’t know if you wanted to participate or not.”
"Why wouldn't I? You are all becoming practically family."
"Well, some employers can be friendly but... never familiar with the help. " Queenie said looking a little embarrassed. "It was a possibility that you might have had a few lines you wouldn't cross when it came to being with the Hired Hooves."
"Well you guys are more permanent than the usual set of Hired Hooves," Grapes said as if that explained everything.
"OK. But you gotta keep it quiet. This is the first time in a long while we have all been together for Stormy's Birthday. ...and I think I know how you can be useful." Firestormer said with a mischievous smile.
"And how's that?" Grapes asked cautiously.
"Out of all of us you're the only pony who can come and go from the farm without him seriously wondering where you're off to. You keep your own schedule, and we need a cake. The kind that has nice writing and decorations on it," Firestormer replied.
“Okay. I’d be happy to do that. I'll have to head to Sugarcube Corner," Grapes said with a nod.
"All right. He's not too fussy with sweets but he loves lemon as a flavor. Just a little tart in with the sweetness is how he likes it," Firestormer explained.
"Right. A touch of tart... Note to self: See if the Cakes can make the cake,” said Sour Grapes then blinked, and looked around, making sure that no random pink pony would pop up out of nowhere, then looked relieved.
"Are you okay?" Queenie asked, after seeing Grapes look around in a slight panic.
"Yeah. Just looking for Pinkie Pie."
"Were you expecting her?" Firestormer asked looking around, himself.
"Let's just say... She's really really random," Grapes uttered.
"Ah. OK. So just a simple ‘Happy Birthday Stormfront, from your friends’ is good."
"All right. I'll be back later," Grapes said, heading toward the gate.
"Thank you miss Grapes. We appreciate this... I could fly there and back in a jiffy buuuuut... well the writing would get smudged,” Firestormer said rubbing the back of his head with a hoof.
"Gotcha," Grapes said saluting, before trotting into town. It was a rather pretty day, Grapes had to admit, but there was something a bit interesting going on in Ponyville. She had to pause and look around at all the preparation going on, and wonder what was going down. It wasn’t until she saw the sign saying: “Welcome Princess Celeste” that Grapes understood what was happening. A royal visit. Goody. Just what she needed to disrupt her day. She trotted to Sugarcube Corner to see if the Cakes could fit in a birthday cake with all the other stuff they’re having to do for the Princess’ arrival. This being Ponyville, however, it did not take very long for things to start going terribly wrong.
Although she was hardly an old pony, Grapes prided herself on being well-read and decently knowledgeable on a fairly wide array of subjects, but this... this was beyond her ken. These tiny winged pests, cute winged pests, but still winged pests, were literally eating every ounce of food everywhere in Ponyville. The colorful buzzing whatsits seemed to take a non-personal glee in descending on anything edible and leaving not even seeds or stem left. She tried to keep them out of Sugarcube corner by swinging a broom at them, but the remarkably agile critters avoided her efforts and swooped in to feast on the goodies inside. What were these things? Where did they come from? How could hey metabolise food so fast as to make their asexual reproduction so... rapid.
It had started out as SUCH a nice day before. Granted in her humble opinion the preparations for Celestia's visit were being overdone for what Twilight had said was a 'casual' visit, but she could at least appreciate the efforts everypony had gone to. Now they were in the middle of a plague of cuteness. She sighed heavily in frustration. She knew she was forgetting something but it was just avoiding her, all the munching and cooing and buzzing was really getting on her nerves... and there goes Applejack running like her tail was on fire. The sight of her cousin looking so frantic began to spark her memory, that elusive important thought starting to rise up to the front of her brain... then violet waves of magical energy washed over the town, distracting her and making her lose that thought. And the annoying little fuzzballs stopped eating the food.
"Okay..." Grapes uttered, watched as some sniffed at a sumptuous pie resting on the counter and turned away from it... and began to chew the counter itself. Somehow in her mind the connection between a sudden shift in their eating habits and the color purple that game moments before added up to the most powerful purple spell-caster in Equestria. "Oh... TWI-light..." Grapes groaned. "Really? All our talks about 'Confluence', and you go and do this?" She swung her broom with renewed vigor.
"EVERYPONY FOR HER SEEEEEELF!" cried a familiar voice and a heartbeat later she saw Rarity gallop past. No doubt she was on her way to her shop where her livelihood was no doubt being eaten. She had heard the expression 'Chewing the scenery' but this was ludicrous. Even the broom she swung was being nibbled to death. At least these little parasites weren't eating PONIES! Whatever spell Twilight cast could have wound up with far worse connotations than a town full of... well... TOWNLESS ponies.
"What the hay ARE these annoying little fuzzballs?! And why do I hear polka?" Grapes asked, having to pause and listen in obvious surprise. It was a rather happy-sounding tune. It was bouncy, and gleeful and definitely polka... and it added a perverse tone to the otherwise horrifying sight of Ponyville being ground down to the foundations by gluttonous flying beasties. But something was different... the mood was changing. The flying pests had stopped their meal and were definitely listening to the music. Some were even moving to the polka beat. Grapes exited the bakery to see the creatures leave the town following... Pinkie Pie of all ponies. "What... the... hay?" Yes it was Pinkie Pie, set up with enough instruments o be a one-pony band. To be honest while it certainly LOOKED like something Pinkie would do, Grapes had to hand it to her. She never even suspected she had such musical talent. "... Oh fewmits, I'm going to be humming that for DAYS! Why did the blasted little furballs have to be led away with such an annoyingly catchy tune?!" She saw the Princess approaching from Canterlot off in the distance and realised she was going to arrive on the outskirts of town... Right in the path of Pinkie Pie and, well it looked like her friends were following her too. Judging by their expressions they were just as confused as she was about this turn of events. Still, at least Ponyville was salvageable, basic foundations looked intact even if a lot of the structures had more holes in them than a colander. She slowly walked through the streets watching the dazed Ponies, realising the latest crisis to hit Ponyville had come to a close. Some were totally shell-shocked, sitting out in the streets looking at the damage, and some were already starting the clean up. She felt so sorry for them. If it were her home and her crops that had been eaten... Then it slowly dawned on her why she saw Applejack running the way she was earlier.
“OH FEWMITS!” Grapes uttered, before pivoting on her hooves, and galloped out of town and down the road seeing DEFINITE signs of both foliage and items having been chewed upon. As she approached the turnoff she could see Granny Smith staring up at the enormous wooden skeleton that was once the Apple family barn, and Big Macintosh putting a blanket across her shoulders in comfort. The cold rush of adrenaline surged through her veins, and she took the corner at breakneck speed, forcing herself down Grapevine Hills' road and steeling herself for the worst. And she saw some evidence of chewing on the fence and the grapes and frames in the first few rows... but only the first few rows. It was as if the creatures didn't care for the taste of her hard work and just.. left. It was both heartening and yet... she felt a little insulted. "I am so weird..." Grapes uttered at her own reaction. She slowed down and came to a stop where she saw the Storm Riders in various positions around her home. Squall sat at the peak with a telescope, Icestorm and Firestormer were on the Front porch while Stormfront was on TOP of the roof of the front porch. They were not resting, they were in fact very alert. It was a little inspiring to see them like this.
"Ahoy Cap'n Grapes!" Squall called down without pulling his eye from the telescope. "You seen them too? The wee parasprite beasties that were well-bent on devouring yer crops a short time ago?"
"Er... Yes."
He nodded and put the telescope down. "They tried, but they were driven back to whatever deep dank well they came from. Good thing too. I've seen parasprites strip whole cities of their food... and sometimes the city itself when some wizard thinks they can change nature's nature. Still it was all we could do to just be ready in case they came back."
"Pinkie Pie played some kind of polka," Grapes said, with a roll of her eyes. She was still somewhat unhappy about having that song stuck in her head.
"Polka?" It was a word the small band of ponies all echoed at once. Squall recovered quickly and rubbed the dark patch at the end of his muzzle.
"Aye... that would do it. But there just ain't enough of us here with musical talent to have done that ourselves. Truth be told I only heard rumors about polka being parasprite remover but thought they were just being snarky about polka."
"Well Pinkie gathered enough instraments to do a one-pony band."
"So did the little critters just keel over or what?" asked Firestormer.
"They went back to the Everfree Forest,” Grapes informed Firestormer, then leaned close to the firey maned pegasus. “Obviously I wasn’t able to get the cake,” she added in an undertone. Firestormer simply nodded and shrugged. Neither one of them had been expecting parasprites.
"Our methods were a little less... musical, but at least your farm is in better condition that Sweet Apple Acres," Stormy said leaping from his perch to the ground. "Should we... you know... offer to help them rebuild?"
"Would be neighborly. And they are my relatives," Grapes said musingly. Applejack probably wouldn’t want to accept help, but she couldn’t tackle this on her own.
"Okay. wasn't sure, I mean your cousin IS pretty proud. She might take offence to someone offering help."
“I’ll just whop her up side the head until she accepts,” Grapes said with a smirk. “She should know that since we’re family, I’m going to help.”
"Heya Miss Grapes," said Earshot as he circled the group before coming in for a landing. "You missed all the fun."
"Oh? You had fun with those annoying little fuzzballs?"
"Kinda." he said, as he stuck his nose into a paper bag, and chewed noisily. "I mean I was takign my mid-day nap when they arrived but I was ready to protect your crops from pesty pest-type parasprites."
"What are you eating?" Grapes asked, surprised that a bag of potato chips survived the parasprite’s appetite.
"Oh! I'm sorry. I'm being rude. You want some?" He held up the bag to her and before she could even think of reaching in she glanced over Earshot's shoulder to see all the Storm-Riders cringing in horror and disgust. Even Stormy looked like he was revolted and scared at the same time, holding up his hooves and shaking his head vigorously in the universal "Oh sweet Celestia, Don't do that, you'll regret it." motion. She cautiously looked into the bag and felt her stomach give a sudden lurch. Growing up in a rural area gave her a strong constitution to things a city pony would have lost their lunch to and she was greatful for that. What she had mistaken as potato chips was in fact insect wings, similar ones to the parasprites that had plagued Ponyville earlier.
She forced her stomach back into place and smiled "Uhm... No thank you Earshot. I'm afraid your snack would disagree with my constitution. More for you, though."
"Oh yeah. That whole 'Baked Bads' thing. I keep asking Pinkie to make me some but she keeps making this face and asking where she put her emergency bucket," Earshot said with a shrug.
"She just wants to forget about that, Earshot," Grapes said with a slight sigh.
The night pony had another mouth-full of wings and chewed happily. "Too bad. They sound like they're pretty tasty. I was amazed that there were parasprites here. They're a bit of a delicacy back home. In those "uncertain times" grandmother talks about when night ponies had to re-discover agriculture without earth pony assistance, we had to adapt a more flexible digestive system. We have kind of a... a truce with a local fiefdom where we eat the bugs that eat their crops, in exchange for seeds, tools and raw materials we might need. It's not a perfect system but it's helped us to survive... and kept us useful to the locals so they don't... you know... storm my home with torches and pitchforks."
"A very wise arrangement. Maybe we can do something about... Trade... I bet your home has cool stuff that nopony's ever seen," Grapes said musingly.
"Really? I guess... I mean I never really thought of it like that before. I mean, I'd have to show you Stygian Cove to get your opinion."
"Well now. Your home DOES have a name," Queenie said with a smirk
"Oops. I don't think I was supposed to tell. I mean Grandma said to try to keep where we are a secret but the word 'Cove' kinda narrows things down."
"We're not the sorts to kiss and tell, Earshot," Grapes said, calmly.
Queenie smiled and rubbed his mane. "Besides, it would be rude of us to take unfair advantage of the trust of a comrade. Perhaps you should ask your Grandmother if it would be permissible to invite friends there or not. A lot can happen in a year."
"Weeeeeell. Alright. I'll ask,” Earshot said.
"Just tell her a bunch of Daylanders went crazy and want to play tourist," Grapes said with a grin.
Earshot blinked and then giggled. "I can do that. Grandma seems to like you guys anyways.”
"Uh... Squall. There were an awful lot of those... parasprites. He COULDN'T have eaten them ALL."
"Truer words have never been spoken lass. No, once the beasties saw that their position on the food chain had dropped to the very last link on this property... the bulk of them turned tail and ran."
“Huh. How ‘bout that,” Grapes mused, thoughtfully.