//------------------------------// // Epilogue // Story: Discord and the Dimension of Chaos // by Spirit Chaser //------------------------------// Disclaimer: I, Discord, master of chaos, do not approve of how clichéd this ending turned out to be. If I had done it differently, I would’ve ended it with a detailed account of how the meteor wiped out the Dinosaurs. Oh, well. Enjoy anyway. “We won’t be long.” “We promise to return, darling.” “I still owe you one for saving us back there, and I don't forget promises.” “Sit tight, this won’t take long.” “Prepare for your welcome party!” “Um, we’ll be back, um, soon.” As the ponies said their goodbyes to Snare Trap, Discord was busy creating their escape route. Typical ponies, everyone knew that saying goodbye was for chumps. Saying bye was basically saying that they would each other again, they just didn’t know when. He always preferred to keep them guessing. After all, chaos was all about guessing...and crayons, can’t forget the crayons. Creating a portal for their exit wasn’t really hard, especially with the energy he was still receiving from the dimension, but he thought that he would give the others more time to say their goodbyes. A rare kindness, but he theorized that the more time he spent with Fluttershy, the more her kindness would rub off on him. It was somewhat of a double-edged sword. At last, the glowing white ball was finished. “Alright, if you’re all done with your overly long goodbyes, we got business to take care of,” Discord announced, presenting the portal. “Okay, let’s go,” Twilight sighed. “Bye-bye!” Pinkie shouted for the thousandth time, bouncing through the portal. Unable to top her enthusiasm, the others merely waved as they trotted through the portal, leaving just Discord and Snare Trap alone in the white dimension. He was so close to leaving without a stupid goodbye, but he made the mistake of leaving last. He could sense Snare’s desire to have a proper send-off, and he was going to go crazier if the colt wouldn’t just spit it out already. “We’re back where we started, aren’t we?” Snare asked, looking around. “Just us alone in this crazy place. Except now I think I have more answers than questions.” “I certainly hope that means you don’t have anymore annoying questions for me to answer,” Discord shook a box that said “Input Questions Here.” The slot to put in questions was sealed shut. “I still have at least one left in me,” Snare ignored the box, having grown used to Discord’s madness. “How terrific, fire away,” Discord responded with a bored tone. He conjured a familiar target on his chest. “How much do you really care?” Snare asked. “About me, I mean.” The genuine question actually caught Discord off guard. He blinked away the target and stroked his goatee. Avoiding the question with a joke would just make Snare Trap angry, and even though he enjoys annoying ponies, even Discord knew when the time was right. “Up until recently, I never cared about other lifeforms. They weren’t me, so why would I? It was only recently when I learned how nice it feels to care about someone other than myself, therefore I don’t have much experience in caring. Sorry to burst your bubble,” Discord popped a bubble that appeared out of nowhere. “Oh,” Snare’s eyes dragged his head down to look at his hooves. “I-I understand. See you later.” If it was anypony else (besides Fluttershy, of course), Discord would’ve accepted the fake understanding and left, but when the pony in question was Snare Trap.... So this was what it felt like to have a conscience. “But, if I had to estimate how much I—what was the term—cared about you, it would be...very much. In fact, if I had to have a son, it would be...Pinkie Pie!” After a confused stare from Snare Trap, Discord said, “All right it would be you.” Snare Trap’s normally emotionless eyes lit up with joy at hearing what he’d be waiting to hear. “But, why?” Snare asked. “We haven’t even had much time to spend together, what with everything that happened lately. How could you feel so close to me that you even wanted to protect me from emotions?” “How you ask? It’s simple: I created you,” Discord explained. “A parent will almost always feel an immediate bond with the child they produced. It’s nature’s way of making sure love never dies. I don’t approve of it, but I seem to have fallen victim to it.” “Discord,” Snare’s eyes were now rimmed with tears. “Thank you.” Snare galloped up to give Discord a hug. Considering the only hugs he ever gave were sarcastic hugs, he wasn’t good at genuine ones, but he gave it an attempt. It was astounding how a being of chaos could find feelings like love to be so satisfying. Could he even be considering that chaotic anymore? “Well, this was sappy, but I’m sure our pony friends are waiting for me, and while I love to keep ponies waiting; we have to get this over with,” Discord released Snare and started towards the portal. “Bye, Discord.” Discord turned around to face the second pony who had ever caused change in him. All these years he’d be taking ponies so lightly, but they really lived to their reputation of being magical. “Bye, Snare Trap.” He walked into the portal, and experienced the feeling of flowing through space and time. It would’ve been exciting if he wasn’t all-powerful. Manipulating the laws of reality got so boring after the thousandth or so time. With a pop and undoubtedly a flash, he unfortunately appeared in the middle of the city known as Canterlot. Looking around, he saw that the city was full of the usual ponies, except now they seemed much more grumpy. “Discord!” shouted a collective force of voices from behind him. He turned to see that his colorful pony companions were galloping up to him. How normal of them to be fashionably late. “Where have you all been?” he asked, paws on his hips. “I’ve been waiting for four seconds.” “Where have we been?” Twilight asked, her teeth clenched. “I swear to Celestia, once we’re done here, I’m taking a long break from all things chaotic and annoying. Meaning you!” “What Twilight is trying to say,” Fluttershy patted Twilight on the shoulder. “Is that we were actually waiting for you, not for that long though.” “In that case, I forgive you,” Discord violently shook Twilight’s hoof. “Now that I’ve forgiven your carelessness, let’s go talk to good old Princess Lamelestia.” “That’s going to be a problem,” Twilight stated. “The doors to the royal palace have been magically sealed and there are enchantments up preventing us from teleporting in!” “Well, that does sound like an issue,” Discord stroked his goatee. “Any particular reason why?” “When we left, these ponies were going crazy,” Rainbow explained. “Princess Celestia must have put up those enchantments for security. How’re we going to get in there?” “Did you try knocking and saying the password?” Discord laughed, conjuring up a cup of tea. “Ugh, why are you never helpf—wait,” Rainbow stopped mid-sentence. “That could actually work. She’d need to know when to open up eventually, right?” “But we already pounded on the door,” said Applejack. “If they’re in there, they just ignored us.” “Clearly you don’t knock like I do,” Discord boasted as he stretched. With a snap of his fingers, they were blinked directly in front of Canterlot Castle to mixed reception from the ponies. “That was...interesting,” Twilight muttered as she attempted to stand. “Yeah, give us some warning next time you decide to transport our molecules, jerk!” Rainbow complained, messaging her head. “Chaos doesn’t give warnings, silly,” Discord winked. He popped his knuckles and slowly put them up against the door. Suddenly he pulled away and snapped, revealing an army of claws and paws floating over the doors, ready to knock. With a low whistle, Discord gave the command, and the claws and paws began their assault. It sounded as though a thunderstorm and multiple cannon fire fused together to form the loudest rumble ever. Judging by the ponies covering their ears, it earned it’s title. “Oh Celestiaaaa!” Discord shouted as the rumbling died down. “It’s yours truly, and I would like to have a word with you.” The silence that followed seemed extra quiet due to the storm that it followed. After a few more moments, the others seemed to give up. If Celestia didn’t hear that, what would she hear? Suddenly a voice passed through the doors. “Discord?” Celestia’s voice asked faintly. “Is it truly you and only you?” “If you expected an army, you’ll be disappointed by the fact that I only brought six extremely colorful ponies,” Discord responded slyly. “While I surely appreciate your presence, you returned too late,” Celestia sighed. “My subjects were on the edge of revolution before I sealed myself away. I can’t undo the enchantments unless you offer me proof that you’ve come to fix this mess.” “Well, let’s just say that I’ve—how do you put it—learned an important lesson in friendship.” Silence fell for a short period, then the sounds of various locks and magic filled the air. The doors swung open faster than what even seemed possible. There stood Celestia, looking a bit roughed up, but smiling. “Do tell,” she insisted as she beckoned them inward. “And please close the doors on your way in.” “Why?” Pinkie asked. “Hey!” shouted a random pony. “The princess opened her doors, charge!” A stampede formed out of nowhere heading straight towards them. Discord snapped his claws and the doors sealed shut once more. “Oh,” said Pinkie. “That’s why.” Walking through the normally tranquil halls, it was obvious from the cracked windows and the dirt on the carpet that the angry mob was here. “In the process of redecorating?” Discord couldn’t help letting out a snide comment. “No, but you will be once we’ve settled this matter,” Celestia countered, sitting on her somehow undamaged throne. “Let’s not make assumptions here,” Discord stated. “I haven’t even said if I’ve come back to work for you again.” “He has.” “Yup.” “Definitely.” “Um, uh, eep!” “Thank you, unwanted opinions,” Discord scoffed. “I think I can take it from here. Ahem, Celestia Princess, you obviously know by now that I’m a lover of all things chaos. By assisting you in solving pony problems all day, I am exposed to boredom. Boredom isn’t chaotic, it’s just boring. I’m sure you can clearly see my problem, so let me just submit my request. My only request is that I get a break whenever I want, deal?” Discord held his arm out, waiting for Celestia to eagerly shake it with her foreleg, however the only thing he got in response was silence. The smile he plastered on his face was beginning to hurt. Finally, he sighed and put his arm down. “Okay, I can see that my original proposal has received mixed to negative reviews, so instead I’m going to go ahead and ask what it is that you want, Celestia?” “Well,” Celestia patted her chin questioningly. “I suppose the thing I ‘want’ is for you to tell me about this important lesson in friendship I’ve heard about.” “Oh,” Discord wiped his forehead with a napkin. “No, no, you don’t want to hear about that. I only mentioned it so that you’d open your doors, and now that you have, well we need to decide on my break status.” “We seem to have different motives here.,” Celestia stated, blatantly. “I wish to hear your friendship lesson, and you are hopelessly trying to secure a break schedule. Let it be said that I am a busy and successful diplomat, therefore, you should feel inclined to meet my demands first.” “Wow,” Discord stared, dumbfounded. “I don’t even know how to respond, but I will find a way, just give a second.” “Discord!” Twilight shouted. “Don’t forget that there’s someone who’s counting on us. I know it’s outside of your nature, but you need to be reasonable for once.” Ignoring something that was true was chaos 101, but this time, Discord listened and actually understood the truth. Right now (or not, considering time difference between dimensions) Snare Trap was waiting for Discord to come through for him. Such a responsibility has never been placed on him before. He couldn’t say he liked it, but it was probably more of an acquired feeling. “Fine,” Discord pouted. “Look the lesson is more of a story, and I’m going to make it a short one. I was actually in an alternate dimension the whole time, and while I was there I made a friend-slash-sidekick-slash-son and he’s still there right now. I don’t actually care about my breaks, but I do c-c-care about him, so I was hoping that I could spend my breaks in the dimension from now on. In order to do that, we need to reach a civil agreement, so what I’m trying to say is that I’m not speaking for my sake, I’m speaking for his sake.” “Hey, you left us out of the story,” Rainbow snorted angrily. “And that story wasn’t very short either.” “Blah blah blah is all I hear when you talk,” Discord snootily responded. Celestia considered Discord’s story for a moment before summoning a scroll. She simply read the scroll for a while, smiling as she did so. And Discord thought he was good at wasting time. “Excuse me, Princess,” Discord coughed with more than one mouth. “I believe we were middle of discussing something.” “Indeed we are in the middle of a discussion,” Celestia replied, still smiling. Discord gave Twilight a confused look. The lavender unicorn simply shrugged. “I believe we’ve reached a conclusion,” Celestia announced. “We have?” for once, Discord was the confused one. “Yes,” Celestia confirmed. “Discord, today you have learned to put others above yourself, a skill most important for a do-gooder to have. You are now truly ready to return to your position of doing good deeds for the citizens of Canterlot.” “That’s...nice,” said Discord, “but what about my f-friend?” “I was reviewing some information, and I think I found the solution. I ask that you create a portal to this interesting dimension right here,” Celestia gestured to the empty spot beside her throne. “Well, I’m always happy to stir up some interdimensional chaos,” Discord laughed. “But I’m afraid I can only summon a portal in a spot brimming with chaotic energy.” “I think you’ll find that personal growth can affect more than just emotions,” Celestia said, still gesturing. Shrugging at Celestia’s confusing wisdom, Discord wiggled his fingers for effect and attempted to conjure a portal. The absence of the chaotic environment from before was differently bothering him, but it felt as though he was capable of his task. After a minute of concentration, a gateway popped into view, frightening the ponies. Typical ponies. The gateway in question was a mirror-type portal, where you could see the other side and easily step between the two destinations. Waiting on the other side, looking equally as frightened as the ponies (typical ponies) was Snare Trap in all his mis-colored glory. “Discord?” Snare breathed. “Where did—” “An easy way to enjoy life, kid,” Discord chuckled, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” “Are guys at that Canterlot place?” Snare asked, eyes brimming with wonder. “Yes,” Celestia said, coming into view. “Hello friend of Discords. Clearly, you are a creation of his, judging from your strange appearance, no offense meant. You should have seen the trouble your friend just went through just to make sure he would see you again.” “Okay, Celestia,” Discord sighed. “Let’s not push it, I’m still the king of chaos, after all.” “Whatever you have to tell yourself,” Rainbow muttered. “I heard that,” squeaked a disembodied Discord ear floating behind Rainbow Dash. It flicked her in her ear and flew over to join Discord’s head. “Let me just get things straight before Pinkie begins celebrating,” Discord said, stopping Pinkie’s cannon mid-confetti. “I can visit this dimension anytime I want as long as I remain here in Canterlot and continue doing good deeds for you?” “More than that, this way, my citizens can easily trot into the portal and ask you of something directly.” “I didn’t realize you were so open to having ponies just trot into your castle, Celestia.” “Your lesson in personal kindness can wait another day, for now, enjoy time with your friend while the girls and I calm the city down. I think they’re about to break down my doors.” The thuds coming from the doors were indeed increasing in volume. The ponies trotted over to calm the angry mob as Discord floated through the portal to begin his new life. “Did you tell her about the betrayal you felt at her hoof all those years ago?” Snare Trap eagerly asked. “No,” Discord responded. “It really was stupid, besides, some things should must remain in the past to carry on with the future.” “Didn’t know you were secretly sappy.” “It’s an after-effect of learning a friendship lesson, it’ll wear off soon, then I’ll turn you purple for calling me sappy.” “Even after that comment, I think I’m gonna like this arrangement.” “Yeah...me too.” The two friends wandered off into the depths of the dimension, in search of new adventures and happiness. The needs of the Canterlot ponies could wait another day, for this day was theirs and theirs alone. So ends the tale of the hero and the sidekick, for without any obstacles to stand in their way, they shall live happily ever after. Or will they? . . . Yeah, they will.