This was an idea that would not go away until I wrote it down, so here it is. It's me poking fun at the opening of the infamous 'Cupcakes' fanfic, adding all of the ominousness I thought that story lacked (I hope). It was my intention to have a sort of reverse effect, causing the reader to be unsettled and then yanking the rug out from under them with a mundane, anti-climatic punchline.
Anyway, it's a nice change of pace from my other work (which is all Extremely Serious), and I hope you got a chuckle out of reading it as I did writing it.