A picture is Worth a thousand cuts!
Oh, Diary! Why oh why do my fellow ponies seek to drive my out of my mind? I can't believe what happened today, and in a few minutes... neither will you!
Today, I had been called over to Perfect Portraits art studio, on a home appointment to cut a mare's mane. I was trotting my way across Ponyville, and was just passing by Pinkie Pie's house, when I saw a dust cloud speed towards me. A pair of headlights reflected off the lenses of my glasses, and the speeding object was on top of be before I even had time to blink.
"YEAHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in a panic, leaping clean off the road, and grabbing onto the lamp post above me. The roaring cloud of dust- which I could now see was a motorized yellow scooter- came to a stop a few feet away, and the orange earth pony that had been driving it started up at me in annoyance.
"Hey! Watch where you're going, grandma!" The pink and purple maned mare yelled up at me, pulling her goggles off with her hooves. "Your dead weight could've dented my bike!"
"Argh! Blast it, Scootaloo!" I yell down in anger, sliding down the pole to face her. "You could’ve hurt somebody barreling around in that-that thing of yours!"
Ohhh, that Scootaloo! The most obnoxious mare in Ponyville, she's kind of the land equivalent to sporty Sunny Daze. The only difference is how much of a pain in the flank she can be. The only thing that is even bigger than the dust cloud that motorized monster of hers kicks up, is her over inflated, self important ego. She is the only pony in this town who is actually capable of making another pony actually mad.
"Jeez, lighten up, old lady!" The cocky mare snapped at me, tossing that rat's nest she calls a mane around. "I never woulda really hit ya, I'm to good a rider for that!"
"Now you see here, you little troublemaker! One of these days, you're going to run over somebody with that mechanized monstrosity!" I snapped, shaking a hoof at her. "You used to be so sweet when you were little, back when you idolized Rainbow Dash! Why can't you be more like her now?"
"Me? More like that frilly piece of fluff?" Scoots almost fell off her seat, laughing. "Please, maybe I thought being a frilly froo was cool as a little girl. But there's no way in the world a pony named Scootaloo, would ever idolize a pony named Rainbow Dash!" She revved her bike up. "Now, while I'd love to sit around here and listen to your arteries harden, I've got places to go and ponies to see!"
The annoying mare took off with a blast of smog, leaving me coughing and gagging.
"Ugh! Ack! Someone should teach that mare some manners!" Dusting the soot out of my mane, I picked up the beauty kit I had dropped by the handle, and continued on my way.
Finally arriving at my destination, I found myself in front of a purple house covered in paint splatters of red, green, and blue. Walking up to the oddly shaped door, the only response to my hoof knock was a 'come in' from within the structure. Upon opening the door, my eyes were greeted with the most bizarre sight I had ever seen.
Diary, her house looked like a rainbow threw up in it! Yellow wallpaper, green furniture, orange ceiling... this place looked like a decorator's nightmare! In the center of the chaos, a pink mare with a cyan mane and a white-coated stallion sat before two easels. Both were covered in paint splotches, and I don't even want to think about what all that dripping goo was doing to their manes.
"Hey, Daffey! So glad you could make it!" Toola Roola greeted me, not evening looking up from her easel. "I was hoping you could cut my mane here, so I didn't have to take time away from my masterpiece!"
"You want me to cut your hair here?" I asked in disgust, looking around in the disaster area I had to work in. "Well, I suppose I could set up in the kitchen-"
"Actually, if you could just set up in here," Finger Paints, Toola's scatterbrained hubby with a rainbow mane, informed me. "That way,
she won't have to get pulled away from her painting."
"You.. you want me to cut her mane... while she's painting?" My eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Are you two out of your minds!?"
"Great art waits for no one, not even pointless actions like grooming." Toola told me, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. "It would mean a great deal to me if you could complete my mane while I continued working."
Good grief diary... I think being around all these paint fumes, has affected these two poor pony's heads! Nevertheless, I sat down and got about my work, taking my shears and razors out of my box. There I sat, cutting and trimming and snipping away, while Toola threw bucket after bucket of different colors on the blank canvas with her brush strokes. I think a five year old could've produced a better 'masterpiece'. Still, everything was going well, when an unexpected third party intervened in my work.
"Hiya Toola, thought I'd stop by and surprise ya!" Minty yelled, bursting through the door unexpectedly. "I'm here to pick up that painting you.. made ... me?"
Everything happened at once, as is usual with this unlucky mare's antics. Minty's opening the door and startling Finger, Finger jumping and sending a green can of paint flying, and said flying can landing on my head.
SPLAT "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
I ran around the room. screaming and running into things. I slammed into both of the easels and sent the paintings and paint flying in every direction.
"Egads! Our art!" Finger screamed.
"It's ruined!" Toola yelled.
Personally, I think their art looked better after Minty's foul up... but nevertheless, that mare had once again caused a monumental disaster. I can only imagine how it must've looked to the neighbors, when a stallion and two angry mares -one with a sea green mane- chased a terrified Minty out the door, and halfway around Ponyville. Now, my only concern is how the hay I'm going to get this lead-filled glop out of my mane.
And how sweet revenge is going to be on a certain goofy green pony.