//------------------------------// // Episode 28: A Bag of Cat Food // Story: Equestria's Crazies // by Thorax //------------------------------// Sunrise, the worst point of the day and Nightmare's sworn enemy. Not only did it ruin her plans for eternal night, but it continuously mocked her every day since. That blinding light that always seemed to burn its way through her curtain and eventually her eyes. The mare of darkness gave a groan as she rolled over to face the wall and leave the hateful light behind her. Nightmare gave a sigh of relief as darkness returned beneath her eyelids and slowly she began to open them. As her blurred vision slowly focused she was left in total confusion as she stared at the Draconequus lying next to her. "Oh" Discord said awkwardly "Good morning" For those ponies within the castle that had yet to wake up they found they had received a new alarm clock guaranteed to wake anyone up as the echoed shriek of Nightmare Moon slowly faded as it exited the royal gardens. "What's happening?" Celestia shouted moments later as she teleported directly into the room followed by a rather groggy Luna who as far as anyone could tell was probably still asleep. "Oh sorry to interrupt" Celestia muttered awkwardly as she realized she was currently standing in front of Nightmare and Discord sharing a bad. "This isn't what it looks like!" they shouted in unison. "This moron snuck into my chambers! Probably to attempt another one of his schemes" Nightmare hissed "I didn't sneak" Discord answered "I asked if I could come in and you said yes, then mumbled that night would last forever." the God of Chaos paused as he put a talon to his chin "In fact you mumbled that for the majority of the night." Celestia glared at Nightmare, Nightmare slugged Discord. "What are you doing in my bed Discord" Nightmare growled "Anything you want Moony" Discord answered with a grin and a raised eyebrow Celestia glared at Discord, Nightmare slugged Discord Discord gave a groan as he rubbed the side of his face "Ah so is this what tough love feels like?" "Discord you have ten seconds to tell me why you're in my bed." Nightmare hissed as her horn began to glow "Spider..." Discord answered with a slight twitch "Big spider" "I thought Fat Flank was the one with the fear of spiders" Nightmare asked as she looked towards Celestia Luna gave a slight chuckle as she struggled to stay standing, Celestia slugged Nightmare "No, you don't understand this is a big spider.... and magic proof" "So you decided instead of dealing with it, you'd sleep in my bed instead?" "No I was hoping if it followed me it would eat you first." Nightmare thought about slugging Discord once again but she decided against it in favor of the classic facehoof. "Okay, let's just go kill the spider so we can get the standard horrible day going." Nightmare sighed as she stood up carelessly wrapping her magic around Discord neck as she dragged him along with her. Celestia and Luna following behind. A few minutes later they now stood at the entrance of Discord's chamber Chrysalis having joined them along the way mostly wanting to see what kind of insect could reduce Discord to such a state. Maybe I can forge an alliance with this creature The Changeling Queen thought to herself. Then it can torment that moron forever after a few seconds Chrysalis paused as she realized everyone else was staring at her "What?" "You were laughing" Celestia spoke "Pretty evilly I might add, what were you thinking about?" "You'll find out soon enough." Chrysalis answered "Let's open this door." "Please no" Discord begged as he dived in front of the door. "We can just launch the entire room into the sun." "Really now Discord" Celestia sighed as she lifted the Draconequus off the ground with her magic "It's just a spider" she added as she opened the door. "Oh come on!" She yelled as she found herself face to face with a with the largest spider she had ever seen, the demonic creatures face so large that it filled the door way, venom dripping from its fangs. "Nope" Luna stated flatly as she pulled her sister away from the door and wrapped her magic around the room, and in swift move she launched the entire thing into orbit. The five immortals stared in silence as they watched Discord's chamber burn up as it tried to enter the atmosphere. "Where Fluffy go?" came the muffled voice of Sombra The five gods turned in unison to face the rather confused looking Grey Unicorn who was currently holding what appeared to be a bag of cat food in his mouth. Nibbles lying on top of his head. "Who's Fluffy?" Celestia asked awkwardly part of her already aware of where this conversation was going to end. "He is Nibbles pet." Sombra answered as he lowered the bag onto the ground. "Pet!" Nibbles shouted in excitement "Nibbles find spider but no food for spider, so we make spider bigger so we can feed it normal food. But he run away last night and we find him here before." "Get food!" Nibbles shouted as he jumped down and slowly started pushing the bag of cat food towards the now missing room. The five gods shared a couple of awkward glances as they tried to figure out who would be the one to tell Nibbles that they had just vaporized his pet. "Well you see Nibbles" Celestia began as she lowered herself towards the small hybrid "Fluffy had to go home." Celestia winced as Nibbles finally showed an emotion other than hunger and excitement, unfortunately for her that emotion was sadness. "Home?" Nibbles repeated "Yes, he had to go back to his family." "No pet?" He asked sadly as he fell onto his flank. Celestia was about to answer when a sly grin slowly began to spread across her face. "I think I know where you can get a proper pet." The Sun Goddess watched with joy as the excitement returned to Nibbles' face. "To Stuttershys house!" Discord shouted as he snapped his talons and in a flash of light everyone found themselves outside of a rather large tree house on the edge of the Everfree forest. "Pssst Chrysalis" Luna hissed as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes once again. "Yeah?" The Changeling Queen answered as she leaned towards the Moon Goddess "You ever get the feeling that our days start off heading in one direction and then promptly going crashing in another?" "I know what you mean; I thought the spider was going to take up at least the first half of the day." Chrysalis finished as she returned back to where she was originally standing. "Who Stuttershy?" Sombra asked in confusion as he tried to figure out where they were. "Fluttershy" Celestia corrected as she glared at Discord "She runs the Ponyville animal sanctuary; she's got all sorts of animals looking for a nice home." The Sun Goddess finished as she shifted her gaze back to Nibbles who's mind was now thinking of all the animals he could get as a pet, he could get a bird or spider.... which at the moment where to only two types of animals he had ever seen so it was a very short moment of thought as he started running towards the cottage entrance. At the moment Fluttershy was preparing to go out and house sit for her old friend Harry the bear and found herself surprised when a rather loud and sudden knocking began at her front door, followed by something that sounded like shouting. Cautiously she made her way over to the entrance and slowly opened it up just enough to peak out. "Oh" Fluttershy spoke to herself "Nobody there." she finished with a nervous laugh "Pet?" came an unfamiliar voice. "Oh hello there." Fluttershy greeted as she finally noticed the foal at the door. "Can I help you?" "Pet!" Nibbles shouted in excitement "Good morning Fluttershy" rang the voice of Princess Celestia as she approached the door. For a few moments Fluttershy was about to panic as she tried to remember if she had forgotten anything that would make Princess Celestia mad at her. "H-hello Princess, what brings you here this morning?" "My little friend Nibbles here would like to get his first real pet." "Pet!" Nibbles shouted again The yellow Pegasus found herself easing up at the mention of pets, animals as the one thing she was best at. "Please come in" she spoke happily as she opened the door further revealing Princess Luna. "Oh Hello Princess Luna" Fluttershy spoke once again finding herself nervous as she remembered the events of the past Nightmare Nights. "Please make yourself at home" "Thank you" Luna stated happily as she entered along with Nibbles and her sister. She then stared in complete and utter horror as Nightmare Moon, Queen Chrysalis, Discord, and King Sombra promptly followed. Then she passed out. "Wow" Discord said he stared at the unconscious mare "She obviously couldn't handle our glory.. Oh I think she's waking up." The yellow Pegasus groaned as she slowly picked herself up off the floor and rubbed her head. "I just had the strangest dream." "Oh really?" Nightmare asked a small grin spread across her face as once again Fluttershy passed out this time though Celestia managed to catch her before she hit the ground. A few minutes later Fluttershy once again picked herself off the ground. "I'm sorry Princess Celestia; I don't know what's gotten into me." "It's no problem Fluttershy" Chrysalis said with a toothy grin, once again the mare fell to the floor. "Okay guys" Celestia facehoofed "It was funny the first two times, now we've got to stop." "Aww" Discord, Luna, Nightmare and Chrysalis sighed in disappointment "Why does my head hurt" Fluttershy groaned as she once again stood up. "You passed out" Celestia answered and then watched as once again Fluttershy passed out "OH COME ON!" Celestia shouted as her horn began to glow as she aimed a spell at Fluttershy. "Sister what are you doing?" Luna asked as she stared at the unconscious mare "Temporarily removing her ability to feel fear." Celestia answered flatly "If I don't we'll be here all day watching someone pass out." "Hey get up" Celestia hissed as she prodded the mare with a hoof. "Come one we need to get this ball moving." "Pet!" Nibbles shouted as he jumped up and down on the unconscious mare's chest "Pet! Pet! Pet" "Did you say Pets?!" Fluttershy shouted as she bolted to her hooves sending Nibbles sailing across the room. "I have lots of pets!" the mare shouted before diving out her window into her backyard. "Are you sure that was the right spell?" Luna asked with a look of worry. "It might have been the adrenaline spell" Celestia answered awkwardly as they started following after Fluttershy making sure to use the door. "Animals Assemble!" Fluttershy shouted The five immortals watched as animals descended and emerged from every possible location. Birds of all types, cats, dogs, goats and even a few animals that were most definitely illegal. "Is that a Lion?" Nightmare muttered. "Nobody is allowed to get a Lion" Celestia answered flatly. The only answer she got was the collective sigh of disappointment from the group. "What pet you want?" Sombra asked as Nibbles stared in amazement at all the different animals he had never seen. After a few minutes of thinking he noticed something rather shiny off in the distance and as his eyes focused on it he finally decided which pet was the one he wanted most. The group tried to keep up with him as he bolted from Fluttershy's backyard and started on a direct path towards the Everfree forest. "This!" The Hybrid stated as he pointed at the strange little plant, its small base appeared to be made of crystal that jutted awkwardly out of the ground, several small balls of glowing light dangled from its two tiny branches. The faint sounds of humming emanating from it. "Celly is that what I think it is?" Luna asked as tried to get a better look. "Only one way to know for sure." Celestia answered as she motioned towards Discord. "Discord you've got hands, why don't you help Nibbles move this little sapling to a pot." Discord gave a reluctant sigh as he was voluntold to do manual labor and as he bent down to pick up the small sapling he could feel a faint tingling in his hand as the tip of his talon touched the base of the tree he found himself once again encased in stone. "Well would you look that! Harmony in its purest form" Celestia spoke as she picked up Discord and moved him over a few feet causing the stone around him to disappear. "When Twilight and her friends left the Tree of harmony one of its seeds must have stuck to Fluttershy." Celestia was unaware that her words were falling on deaf ears as Nibbles learned the true power of his new pet. Discord continued to run in circles as the small hybrid chased after him, potted tree held a few inches behind him as Nibbles attempted to trap him once again. The rest of the group gave a collective sigh as Discord continued to yell for help. [15 minutes later] "So Discord what kind of pet would you like?" Fluttershy asked as she looked out for the one that would match her... unique guest. "Something Chaotic" Discord answered flatly the Draconequus was caught by surprise as Fluttershy cleared her throat and many of the other animals gathered around her. "♪ Now, Discord my dear, I cannot express my delight ♪" Fluttershy began to sing "♪ it’s abundantly clear that somewhere out here Is the pet that will suit you just righ-" "Found one" Discord stated as he held up a rock "Discord" Nightmare began as she pressed hoof to her forehead 'That's a rock." "It's not just a rock" Discord whispered in amazement "It's the most amazing rock that has ever been and will ever be." "How so?" Nightmare asked with a raised brow. "It's the perfect guard animal." "Really now, a rocks a great guard animal?" "Yeah" Discord said with a grin "you want me to show you?" "Sure" she answered as she mentally prepared a spell. Just as expected Discord was going for a classic blunt object assault as the rock was sent hurling towards her, Nightmare let out the spell that stopped it mere inches from her face. "Oh too bad, looks like it's not that good of a guard animal, maybe it can swim?" the Mare of Darkness spoke with a wicked grin as she spun around and hurled the rock into the pond, the group watched as it bounced once, twice, thrice and then it silently sank." "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" Discord cried to the heavens as he dropped to his knees "Why Steve? Why not me instead, he had so much to live for. I'll never know love such as what we had aga-" "Here you go" Celestia stated as she dropped a new rock into Discord's paw. Discord rubbed the tears out of his eyes as he stared at the new rock. "I shall call you Steve Jr and I won't let the big meanie hurt you." Nightmare facehoofed.