//------------------------------// // Equestrian Intermissions 1 - Dissy, You Got Some Splainin' To Do! // Story: Apples, Tanks, N' Badflanks // by ultra1437 //------------------------------// Discord woke to a sudden banging on his door. He untangled himself from the sheets as he got out of bed yelling, “Alright, alright already, I'm coming! Keep it down, will you? Some of us don’t like loud noises this early!” He rubbed his eyes as he quickly snapped over to the door. He opened the door, Applejack nearly tackled him as she ran inside. “What in tarnation happened? Why hasn’t the sun come up? And where’re the princesses?” Behind her, a dozen solar and lunar guard waited on his answer. He rubbed his temples before dismissively responding, “Oh look! Party escorts! Is it my birthday?” “This is serious, Discord! Where are the princesses?” Applejack snorted angrily. “Fine, fine! Jeez, someponies just don't know how to ask nicely.” He huffed overdramatically. “Well let’s see, the last time I saw Princesses Moonbutt and Sunbutt was after our little drinking contest,” he said in his usual jesting tone. ‘Hmm that’s odd, they haven’t woken up, I mean I did pour a little extra pizzazz into that telepo–’ Discords features visibly dropped for a second. “Hmm… be right back.” He got ready to snap his talon. “Oh, no you don’t! Ah’m comin’ with you!” He snapped a talon before she tackled him. She missed and hit the ground rolling. “Well, don’t just stand there! Git lookin’!” she roared. The guards shook themselves from their stupor and took off down the hallway, one guard taking charge, and ordering for reinforcements and a search. Discord appeared in the wine cellar, he grabbed one of the hard cider bottles and snapped a talon. A small box popped up next to it, like what one would find attached to a weapon in a JRPG. He quickly scanned the card, flipping it over to see if there was anything on its back. “Oh dear, so my magic wasn’t inhibited... Where did I teleport them?” He stuffed the card into a pocket, replaced the bottle, and snapped back to his room. Applejack heard a pop from behind her, and turns to see Discord pulling a card out. "Well?" “OOH! Applejack it's horrible! I assumed my drunken state inhibited my all powerful power! The princesses are–” he gasped once, “–gone!” Applejack just shot him a flat look. “Fine, spoil my fun. Here, this might explain a bit. It’s a card that shows your cider’s properties. No magic-inhibition,” he explained as he showed her the card. “When I teleported them to Celestia’s room last night, I thought that my magic was suppressed. That was because of the way Celestia acted, so I purposely put more magic than I felt necessary into the spell. After they disappeared, I went to bed. I’ve not checked on them since then.” “So… ya’ll have no idea where they’re at, do ya Discord?” Applejack summed up his explanation. He nodded before she continued, “Then who’s going to raise the sun and moon, Twilight?” “That’s a pretty good idea, actually. Twilight’s a capable princess, and I can provide a little spare magic to help her with the sun and moon. I’d do it myself of course, but Twilight’s better at keeping to a schedule,” he admitted bashfully, then turned to regard Applejack. “But don’t worry, I realize their disappearance is my fault, and I will honestly do all in my power to get them back.” He then smiled, lowered his voice to a comforting level, and added, “You have my word.” Applejack gave Discord a suspicious glance, noting the sudden shift in his character. “Let’s go to Twilight’s then. She won’t be happy, believe me. First, she’ll be skeptical of our story, but the details add up. Then she’ll apologize profusely for not believing us and panic at the implications. Once she’s finally over her panic, she’ll throw together probably a dozen checklists to help.” “Is she really that predictable?” Discord asked, skeptical of the purple mare’s predictability. “Only when it involves th’ Princess. Celestia, that is. Luna’s a good friend of hers, but Celestia’s like a second ma to her. Her defeat at the wedding hit Twilight, hard,” Applejack looked slightly sheepish at her admission, but her tone didn’t waver. “If that’s the case, she’s gonna hate me. I’m not telling her alone.” He plopped down dramatically on the bed. Applejack hopped up on the bed and put a hoof on his shoulder. “Wasn’t planning on lettin’ ya do that alone, pardner. I might not’ve helped ya into this mess, but sure as mah apples’re sweet, ah’ll help ya out of it. If nothin’ else, Flutters’d chew me out fer not helping.” Applejack hopped down off the bed and jumped slightly. “Oh! Before we go, lemme talk ta the guard for a sec.” She walked to the door and stopped the nearest guard. “Discord came back. He’s innocent, albeit mighty suspicious. Tell the rest of the guard to stop lookin’ fer him. We’re headed to Ponyville to grab Twilight to help us find the princesses. She’ll be in charge until they return.” The guard saluted before taking off down the hallway. She made her way back to Discord. “O-oh AJ, you're back! Oh it’s been years!” he exclaimed, stroking his now much-longer full, white beard. “What the hay‽” Applejack replied, flabbergasted. “What? I told you I’m terrible at keeping a schedule.” He waved a paw dismissively, ripping off his white beard. “It’s why I say Twilight should keep the time, I’d get bored too fast and change it to night! Then back a few seconds later to throw off the calendar… again.” he finished maliciously. Applejack looked back at the open door behind her at the two guards who stood staring suspiciously at Discord, unsure of whether to trust the word of Applejack, or trust their judgment. Applejack smiled back at them nervously and rubbed the back of her head dismissively. Discord snapped a pair of talons and they disappeared. ‘Besides, I may’ve wanted to run this country once, but not anymore. I like antagonizing them far too much to just take over and kick them out.’