She lay in the hospital, waiting nervously in anticipation. Though, it was more than the results of her scans that weigh heavy on her thoughts. Twilight Sparkle... I know she promised to stop treating me like her lost friend but, I have my doubts. It's hard to let go of the past. I think she meant it but for how long? Maybe I was too quick to take her up on her offer. I should tell her I changed my mind. She'll be here soon. Closing her eyes she chuckled lightly to herself. Knowing her, she stayed up all night getting a room ready. Her smile faded and she gave a labored sigh. She was surprised by the wave of depression she felt, she didn't even know the mare but the loneliness of not being acknowledged by anypony was a deep one. 'She isn't doing it for me, she's doing it for that Rainbow Dash. I really should have declined her offer. It's wrong of me to torture her like this, everyday she'll look at me and see her lost friend. I should tell her no, I should just say I'll figure something out.... But what else can I do? I have no home, family or bits. If I sleep outside I'll die from infection. But I can't just take advantage of someponies' kindness like.. It's not kindness, I know it's not. It's denial, she can't let go and she's going to use me to hide from her grief. She may not accept it yet but... Her friend is dead.' She was jarred from her thoughts by a knock at the door. 'She's here...'
“C-come in.” She stuttered nervously. Steeling herself, she knew it would be hard to tell Twilight that she declined but it had to be done. The door opened slowly, but to her relief, a tan foreleg was pushing it open. The doctor walked into the room, levitating a few translucent paper. Her scans.
“Hello, How are you feeling?” He asked. Her relief quickly died from the doctor's tone and demeanor. It was obvious that it wasn't good news.
“I'm okay. I assume those are my scans?” The doctor nodded. He made his way to her bedside as she raised the head. He floated the scan sheets in front of her.
“As I suspected, there is significant damage to your motor cortex impairing your connection to your wings. We could not, however, locate the source of your memory loss. Also, X-rays revealed the extent of you bone damage. Your hind legs are both fractured and you will need to come in for physical therapy, after we remove the casts and braces in a few weeks. However, I'm sorry, there isn't much we can do about your wings.” To the doctors surprise, she let out a sigh of relief. At least I'll be able to walk again.
“Also, when your heart stopped, the cardio myopathy and tachycardia deformed your heart, we had to perform valve replacement surgery and a bypass, due to both of which you will need to be on immuno suppressants for the rest of your life, also, you can never stress your heart or you will risk another attack, or you could have another full blown aortic dissection. If that happens, you likely wont survive.”
“But even if I take my medicine, and never stress my heart, I still wont live long will I?” She looked down solemnly at her chest, the long incision was showing signs of healing, but it would only ever be on the outside. Her heart, it was damaged forever.
“I'm afraid so. Even with the latest in medical advancement's and magic... You'll likely live for another thirty years at best. I'm sorry.” The doctor put a comforting hoof on her shoulder, but nothing could make her feel better. She was surprised though, when she felt tears fall onto her chest. Tenderly she brought her hoof to her cheek, tears were streaming down her face. She didn't even realize she was crying. She laughed painfully as she shook her head. Thirty years? But... but I was just born. And that's if I'm lucky?! Twenty years? Fifteen? One mistake, one bad bit of news, eat the wrong thing, forget to take my medicine, I die! I catch a bad cold? I could die! I may die before I get to know what it feels like to walk. I would die alone, with no family or friends. I.. I..
“I want to see Twilight.” Her eyes shot open. Did I just say that? Why would I want to see her? I know what it would mean. I would mean nothing. She would be using me and I would be using her. It's wrong.. It's wrong but.. She wrapped her hooves around her chest and tucked her head down into them. She broke down, sobbing into her fur. The doctor watched the heart monitor closely, making sure her emotional distress didn't send her heart into tachycardia.
“But I don't want to be alone!” She cried, she cried for what felt like hours. Half of her mind was focused on the pain and loneliness, while the other half kept watch on her heart. She Didn't want to die, and she didn't want to die alone.
“As your doctor, I can't tell other ponies about your condition or treatment, but, I think you should tell Twilight.” She looked up at him, her vision obscured by tears. Giving pause she thought about what the doctor had said and again came to the same painful truths. I would be using her, and she would be using me. It's not right.. It's not, but... I don't want to be alone.. What should I do!? I- I have to tell her no.
“No, I can't do that to her, I can't take advantage of somepony just to make me feel better and I wont be taken advantage of just so she can deny the truth.” She spoke with a tone of pure defeat, she knew what she wanted wasn't right, but she still wanted it so badly. The doctor sighed.
“I hope you have a change of heart, she's very nice and reliable. I think, if you give yourself a chance, you could be friends. She'll be here soon, I'll leave you to collect your thoughts.” She nodded to him and he turned to make his leave. If I think about it too much, I'll just end up saying yes. Deep down I know, I just want to be told it's going to be okay... But I can't take such a comforting lie. It's not okay, It wont be okay. I'm dying. I.. I don't want to be alone but, but I cant do this. She'll either realize her friend is gone, and she wont want me around as a reminder, or she'll never come to terms with it and she'll watch the pony she believes is her old friend, die... again. And, even with her standing beside me... I'll still be dying alone. Her body trembled. She felt a stifling coldness creep through her body. 'Or, she does come to terms with it and we become close and... and then she has to watch as she loses another friend. There's no happy ending, there's no way this works out for the best, it's not okay, It never will be okay! I'm going to die, either alone, or hating myself for using somepony that is close to me! I.. I.
“Sunrise, are you okay?!” She felt a tender hoof touch her shoulder along with a familiar and soothing voice. She looked up, she hadn't even realized she was crying again. Wiping away the tears, she saw her. Twilight Sparkle.
“Twilight, your here.” She spoke simply, trying to conceal her obvious pain.
“Yes, I'm here. What's wrong? Why are you crying?... Is it, bad news?” As she spoke her worry became more and more apparent. She took a deep breath.
“No... I'm not okay.” 'I shouldn't tell her. It's not her problem. But, that look in her eyes. She's, she's worried... for me.' Her face contorted in grief and sadness. Crying freely she wrapped her hooves around Twilight. Resting her head on Twilight's shoulder she poured out her feelings, hugging her tight. Twilight, at first caught off guard, returned the hug, tenderly wrapping her hoof around her.
“Twilight! Twilight! I- I only have thirty years left... But, I could die any day. My heart could stop for no reason! It could stop right now and I don't want to die alone! Anything but alone.. Twilight, I'm sorry, I know this isn't your problem, I'm not the friend you lost but please... don't leave me alone!” All her fears and worried poured into Twilight's fur. She smiled, rubbing her back gently.
“Sunrise, I know. I know you're not Rainbow Dash, I don't care I won't leave you alone. Sunrise, you're my friend and I won't abandon you and you wont die alone. You wont die, I won't let you. You're going to live a long happy life, and I'll make sure of it. So please don't worry, and don't worry about me.” She slowly rose her head, meeting Twilight's eyes, they glistened with tears, tears for her.
“Sunrise?” She said quietly, staring at her with wide eyes. She smiled, and nodded.
“Yes, Sunrise. Vibrant Sunrise. It's, it's your new name. Sunrise to represent a new start, a new life. And Vibrant for.. for your colors.” She cried, covering her eyes with her hoof. She knew, Sunrise would see it in her eyes, see that it wasn't her she was crying for now. Those tears, were for Rainbow Dash. But, Sunrise already knew.
“I like it Twilight, but if it's going to make you cry or sad every time you say it, I won't take it.” This time, it was she who placed a comforting hoof on Twilight. After she wiped her tears away, she met Sunrise's eyes.
“No, I'm sorry, I'll be okay. I just..”
“You needed to grieve, I understand. It's a great name, Twilight. Thank you.” Twilight's smiled, her pain dissipating from her face.
“I'm happy you like it, and I'm sorry. Now lets go home.” Smiling together, they were both comforted by each others presence. It's going to be hard, and I'm always going to be scared, but at least, I wont be alone.