Ahem. MLP doesn't belong to me. I believe that's enough of that, here's the story.
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"Bye, I'm done with you and you're bullshit! I'm leaving and never coming back!"
"Fine then, leave bitch, as if I could handle anymore of you're shit either, now get the fuck out you waste!"
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"Sir, are you the son of...There's been an accident..."
"N-no..."
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I like to believe I had a normal childhood even if it was cut short around the age of fourteen, when my father gave my brother and I a choice of either to work with him and make money or stay in school. We chose work and to this day I don't regret making that decision.
Somewhere along the way I realized life sugarcoats crap and even though it’s sugarcoated, it’s still crap.Loss of innocence, I blame the Internet.
Now after about 3 years working with my father and a couple solo jobs my father decided it was time to get me married and so my jaded mind thought it was actually a good idea mostly because the prospect of having sex, oh how naive I was. We all know how marriage actually is and let me tell you something when it comes to Gypsies and marriage, it isn't pretty.
My life was getting annoying and fast, constant fights between my family and relatives, work problems, and my wife trying to get me whipped.
After 5 years of marriage she decided to leave me, because I'm an asshole and she's shit, so I decided to not care even with all the objections from her family and mine.
Now even before my marriage I was a Brony, ever since i saw an article about it on Knowyourmeme.com and I’ve been addicted ever since, my family and my ex-wife thought I was a confirmed weirdo, I say confirmed because, well, I am a weirdo, I know this and thoroughly enjoy it, the only one getting me would be my brother, who moved away somewhere I don't remember before my marriage went into the ground and combusted into glorious flames.
Through the years I gained depression from my parent's deaths and the knowledge that I'm going to lose the house. The internet kept me from killing myself by using my grandfather’s revolver he gave me.
Anime, manga, fanfiction, the internet in general was just delaying the inevitable, which was the day before I officially lose the house which also happens to be tomorrow and for some reason I feel like tomorrow was going to be the happiest day of my life.
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I woke up early, at around six in the morning from my usual ten'o'clock but today was special so I didn't bother going back to sleep cause I’ll get enough rest when I'm dead.
I looked out the window to see heavy fog and a downpour of rain, oh how I love foggy and rainy days. The fog that shrouds everything in a pale greyish-white and the cold rain that showers the earth and leaves behind the sound of relaxation. The best.
After I took a nice forty minute steaming hot shower, I looked in my closet. I thought to myself if I'm going to off myself, I might as well do it in style, plus I want my body to be warm instead of the occasional cold hard body the cops or neighbors usually find, cause I just love to be different, shoot me.
So I decided on a dark red wool blend dress shirt, wool blend cargo dress pants, my cherished Ferragamos two-bit loafers, and my burberry overcoat. To say I liked the way I looked might be an understatement cause I looked freaking sexy as hell.
After dressing I walked into my kitchen and looked in the fridge to see what I could eat, and to my expectations there was nothing. I checked the cabinets and again there was nothing, so out of habit I checked the fridge again and obviously nothing.
Don't you just wish that every time you open the fridge something you want will pop into view?
In the end I decided not to eat, since I'm used to eating in the middle of the day. I got on the Internet and scrolled for new My Little Pony fan fiction and updates to stories I've favorited.
All in all, the morning was going great, I read all the story updates, browsed a few websites, cooked myself chicken piccata and went straight back to the internet.
I was going to write a suicide note but that’s a little bit of a cliché, so I trashed the idea after which I soon realized it was night.
I went about looking for the revolver and to my dismay it had no ammunition and I knew I didn’t keep any in the house making me sigh. I gave a shrug and went outside to get some thick rope to make a noose out of it.
I made the noose and properly nailed it against a wooden beam behind my high ceiling and tested it out by pulling as hard as I can downwards on it. "Hrrmm sturdy enough, let’s get this over with." I grabbed my ipod and inserted both earbuds into my ears.
I picked up a dinning room table and placed it under the noose.
After I was in place I stared at the clock deciding if now was the time.
AS i stared into nothing that just so happened to be a wall, the song Silentium - Hangman's Lullaby Fanu Remix played on my ipod. Was it emotional for me? Maybe. Did I cry? Hell no, it just so happened to be a lot of moisture in the air.
I closed my eyes and let the song play waiting for memories to start streaming through my mind but nothing happened. My mind was blank, it felt empty and in a way my emotions felt drained as well.
Once the nothing that is the wall in front of me lost its enticement I kicked the table out of the way and fell to my sweet release and just when I was gasping for air, the unthinkable happens, a portal, a fucking portal opens up in front of my eyes and out comes an all too familiar purple unicorn, my eyes widened and suddenly...I DIDN’T WANT TO DIE.
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